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Your Discomfort is Not Cam Newton’s Problem

Cam Newton does the Superman.
Cam Newton dabs.
Cam Newton zooms around the field with arms outstretched and mile wide grin displayed.
Cam Newton gives kids footballs and does commercials and dresses to the nines.
Cam Newton is flamboyant and exuberant and over the top when he’s winning.
Cam Newton pouts and broods and grimaces and shuts down when he loses.
Cam Newton is a walking contradiction: equal parts field general and bratty diva.

Cam Newton is not apologizing for any of those things, and I think I like him even more than I did before.

Today the quarterback responded to critics of his behavior during and immediately following the Super Bowl by in essence saying, “I don’t like to lose and this is how I act when I lose.” Instead of apologizing for himself as some have demanded, instead of kowtowing to the noise from the outraged mob and backtracking or doing damage control, Cam doubled down on himself with something refreshing and rare: honesty.

When entitled people mistakenly believe you owe them compliance or at least contrition and you don’t provide it, they get awfully jacked up. That’s been the case for scores of folks who have lined up to attack his character and question his leadership and minimize his manhood, which has all been more telling about them than about Cam Newton. That we somehow feel comfortable superimposing our preferences on a complete stranger is the symptom of a cultural sickness which social media has allowed us to deem completely healthy.

The irony at play here, is that to demand another person show the humility we desire them to, is the very height of hubris. It takes a tremendous ego to believe you’re qualified to renovate another human being into your image, but we play God with folks every single day.

Much has wisely been pointed out about the possible latent or explicit racism at work, in inconsistencies that see Cam Newton maligned for behavior that is assigned to Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, and Aaron Rodgers as competitive fire and an admiral refusal got lose. While I can’t assess the individual or collective hearts of his critics, I think we all know that consistency in these matters is an issue for most of us. There have been proud, moody, flamboyant athletes since the beginning of time and we certainly all pick and choose our responses to them based on our likes and biases (and team jerseys); cheering some and vilifying others.

As a former Charlotte resident still living in NC, I’ve closely watched Cam Newton become a true leader both on and off the field, and his Carolina Panthers under that leadership were the feel good NFL story of the year, a fact that’s been largely overshadowed by the team’s poor play on Sunday and the aftermath of the post game press conference—and that’s a shame. It’s a shame that we only can sanction people’s leadership qualifications when they fit within the narrow confines of our expectations; only when they win or they lose to our liking.

Some self-righteous folks point at Cam with red-faced indignation saying, “He can’t be Mister Dab in a win and then go and pout after a loss.” Cam is looking those people in the eye, and without flinching or apologizing at all, he’s saying: “I can”.  He’s refusing to play the game and in that way he’s changing the game.

We need to stop projecting our behavior onto other people, making them conform to whatever conduct we prefer and attacking them when they don’t. There’s an arrogance present when we assume that we can define the baseline of what civility and decorum and class are for others; that we somehow feel justified in policing the world when the world doesn’t respond within the borders of our comfort.

Football, regardless of the import we want to ascribe to it, is firstly entertainment and Cam is as entertaining as they come. He’s also as flawed and complex as any of us; at times larger than life and sensitive and wild and cartoony and angry and approachable—and often all those things almost simultaneously. 

In a culture that would rather have phony conformity than honest originality, Cam Newton is unapologetically himself at any given moment, and people who don’t like who that person is can and should move on, because it doesn’t seem he is in a hurry to alter himself to make you feel better.

Far more than what Cam Newton’s behavior reveals about Cam, is what it reveals about those who feel overly concerned about it.

He isn’t the big story here. We are.

May he dab and brood on his own terms.

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