If I Have Gay Children: Four Promises From A Christian Pastor/Parent

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Sometimes I wonder if I’ll have gay children.

I’m not sure if other parents think about this, but I do; quite often.

Maybe it’s because I have many gay people in my family and circle of friends. It’s in my genes and in my tribe.
Maybe it’s because, as a pastor of students, I’ve seen and heard the horror stories of gay Christian kids, from both inside and outside the closet, trying to be part of the Church.
Maybe it’s because, as a Christian, I interact with so many people who find homosexuality to be the most repulsive thing imaginable, and who make that abundantly clear at every conceivable opportunity.

For whatever reason, it’s something that I ponder frequently. As a pastor and a parent, I wanted to make some promises to you, and to my two kids right now…

1) If I have gay children, you’ll all know it.

My children won’t be our family’s best kept secret.

I won’t talk around them in conversations with others. I won’t speak in code or vague language. I won’t try to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes, and I won’t try to spare the feelings of those who may be older, or easily offended, or uncomfortable. Childhood is difficult enough, and most LGBT kids spend their entire existence being horribly, excruciatingly uncomfortable. I’m not going to put mine through any more unnecessary discomfort, just to make Thanksgiving dinner a little easier for a third cousin with misplaced anger issues.

If my children come out, we’ll be out as a family.

2) If I have gay children, I’ll pray for them.

I won’t pray for them to be made “normal”. I’ve lived long enough to know that if my children are gay, that quite likely is their normal.

I won’t pray that God will heal or change or fix them. I will pray for God to protect them; from the ignorance and hatred and violence that the world will throw at them, simply because of who they are. I’ll pray that He shields them from those who will despise them and wish them harm; who will curse them to Hell and put them through Hell, without ever knowing them at all. I’ll pray that they enjoy life; that they laugh, and dream, and feel, and forgive, and that they love God and all people.

Above all, I’ll pray to God that my children won’t allow the unGodly treatment they might receive from some of His misguided children, to keep them from pursuing Him.

3) If I have gay children, I’ll love them.

I don’t mean some token, distant, tolerant love that stays at a safe arm’s length. It will be an extravagant, open-hearted, unapologetic, lavish, embarrassing them in the school cafeteria, kissing them in public, kind of love.

I won’t love them despite their sexuality, and I won’t love them because of it. I will love them for the same reasons I already do; simply because they’re sweet, and funny, and caring, and smart, and kind, and stubborn, and flawed, and original, and beautiful… and mine.

If my kids are gay, they may doubt a million things about themselves and about this world, but they’ll never doubt for a second whether or not their Daddy is over-the-moon crazy about them.

4) If I have gay children, most likely; I have gay children.

If my kids are going to be gay, well they pretty much already are.

God has already created them and wired them, and placed the seed of who they are within them. Psalm 139 says that He, “stitched them together in their mother’s womb”. The incredibly intricate stuff that makes them uniquely them; once-in-History souls, has already been uploaded into their very cells.

Because of that, there isn’t a coming deadline on their sexuality that their mother and I are working feverishly toward. I don’t believe there’s some magical expiration date approaching, by which time she and I need to somehow do, or say, or pray just the right things to get them to “turn straight”, or forever lose them to the other side.

They are today, simply a younger version of who they will be; and today they’re pretty darn great.


Many of you may be offended by all of this, I fully realize. I know this may be especially true if you are a religious person with a particular theological stance. Perhaps you find the whole topic unsettling.

As you’ve been reading, you may have been rolling your eyes, clicking the roof of your mouth, or drafting familiar Scriptures to send to me. You may be praying for me to repent, or preparing to Unfriend me, or writing me off as a sinful, evil, Hell-bound heretic… but with as much gentleness and understanding as I can muster; I really couldn’t care less.

This isn’t about you. This is a whole lot bigger than you.

You’re not the one I waited on breathlessly for nine months.
You’re not the one I wept with joy for when you were born.
You’re not the one I bathed, and fed, and rocked to sleep through a hundred intimate, midnight snuggle sessions.

You’re not the one I taught to ride a bike, and whose scraped knee I kissed, and whose tiny, trembling hand I held, while getting stitches.
You’re not the one whose head I love to smell, and whose face lights-up when I come home at night, and whose laughter is like music to my weary soul.
You’re not the one who gives my days meaning and purpose, and who I adore more than I ever thought I could adore anything.

And you’re not the one who I’ll hopefully be with, when I take my last precious breaths on this planet; gratefully looking back on a lifetime of shared treasures, and resting in the knowledge that I loved you well.

If you’re a parent, I don’t know how you’ll respond if you find out your children are gay, but I pray you consider it.

One day, despite your perceptions of your kids or how you’ve parented, you may need to respond in real-time, to a frightened, frantic, hurting child; one whose sense of peace, and identity, and acceptance; whose heart and very life, may be placed in your hands in a way you never imagined… and you’ll need to respond.

If that day should ever come for me; if my children should ever come out to me, this is the Dad I hope I’ll be to them.

 

 

* Note: The word “gay” in this post, is used as an umbrella term, and refers to anyone who identifies themselves as LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, or Questioning) . Though I certainly realize and respect the distinctions and differences, it was simply the word that would quickly and easily communicate within the context of the piece. It was the clearest and best way to address non-hetereosexual individuals in the post, by using a common term that would resonate with the average reader. Hopefully my heart for the entire diverse LGBTQ community is still clear in the writing.

4,279 thoughts on “If I Have Gay Children: Four Promises From A Christian Pastor/Parent

  1. This is beautiful! I was smiling as I read the entire post. I have a son who is gay, and I have the same kind of love for him that you describe here. Sadly, I did not feel this way when he first came out to us. Your children are very blessed to have you as a father. I love how you mentioned Psalm 139. That scripture has been coming up a lot lately. In fact, I just copied the entire Psalm from the book Psalms/Now by Leslie Brandt and sent it to my son last week. 🙂

    • I find this extremely sad. How can a supposed pastor glorify sinful behavior? If my kids thought they were gay I would be doing everything in my power including never ending prayer that my child would stop the sinful behavior. Would I stop loving my child? No, but I would be grieved by their sinful behavior. Would you be proud of your child if they lived with their boyfriend or girlfriend in a “straight” relationship? Or maybe if they were a thief, or liar? Satan is the father of lies, and he is using you to mislead a lot of people. Don’t take my word for this, read for yourselves: Romans 1:26-27, 1 corinthians 6:9, 1 Timothy 1:9,10, Jude 1:7. These are just a few New Testament passages there are quite a few in the Old Testament as well.

      • Greg, you have said all my thoughts on this, sin is sin and it is in the Bible so not sure how this “Pastor” can speak as he has, sounds like he is one of those that have caved to others “feelings”-not bibical reasons.

      • The sinner is not the sin! Everyone falls short of Christ’s perfection, including you, Mr Satan is using You. The article is about acceptance and tolerance of others who sin differently than you do!

      • Greg: Make sure your children know how you feel. Make sure they understand that your love for them comes with strings attached. When you say that you’ll still love them “but…”, then you aren’t loving them unconditionally. It doesn’t matter what follows the word “but”. You can tell yourself anything you want, but I can tell you how your kids are going to feel. They’re going to feel rejected. They’re going to feel like they’re not good enough. Most importantly, they’re going to hate themselves. They’re going to damage their own self esteem as they try to figure out a way to “fix it” or “get better” or “make it go away”. They’ll try anything. A lot even die trying.

        If you’ve brought them up as christians in your own mold, they’ll try doubly hard, because not only are they disappointing their father, but they’re disobeying god’s will. They’ll pray through the tears and agony as they beg god for a cure. Of course, no cure will come. There is no cure because there’s nothing to fix. They are the way they were made. Eventually -and it will likely take years- they will come to grips with that.

        Hopefully they will eventually become comfortable in their own skin, and hopefully they won’t waste too much of their precious, brief lives doing so. When that happens, their relationship with you will be greatly diminished. They will see the limitations of your ability to love them and know that the fault is in you rather than them. Almost certainly their relationship will god will be a thing of the past. Few gay people maintain their religious beliefs because of the incredibly popular and wholly uncharitable explanations of certain bible verses.

        And here’s the thing, Greg. If you’re clear about your prejudices and the criteria for your love, you may never get a clearer explanation of what happened to your kids than this post. Your kids are under no obligation to come out to you. It may very well be easier and simpler for them to just avoid the inevitable altercation and not tell you. If it’s too painful, your kids can and will simply cut you out of the most important parts of their lives, and you will never get to know them as whole people. There are a lot of people out there just like you who never get to know their kid’s spouse; they never get to know their own grandkids.

        If that’s the kind of life you want for yourself and your children, you keep right on demanding that there’s only one way to treat those verses in the bible; that your way is right and everyone else is wrong. If I still believed in a god, I’d pray for people like you. But I was one of those kids.

        • I am so sorry, Shane, that you have allowed your terrible experience to take you away from God. I struggled for a long time before I came to grips with the way God made me. I knew He made me the way I am, but constant reminders from other that my life was not “right” made it very difficult for me to have the relationship with God that I wanted. I have come out on the other side with a stronger faith and knowing without a doubt that I am a child of God and no one else’s interpretations of Bible verses can change that. I hope and pray the same for you. Don’t let anyone come between you and God because if you do, you are doing exactly what they say you are doing…living a Godless life. You, too are a child of God and should be proud of it.

        • Amen Shane. Beautifully said. I feel sorry for Greg & Paula’s children. Ignorance can change, but once you can’t accept your kids, that love changes as well. They don’t realize by having conditional love THEY damage their children, drive them away and break the promise as parents to love and protect them. For shame. This pastor is right on, his children will be well rounded individuals who will know what true love is and will know how to give love selflessly. Gay or not. People hide behind their Bible verses (I am a Christian) but don’t live by ever single word in the Bible, no one does, unless it’s something they can use to degrade another’s sins.

      • Greg, each and every person has their own personal interpretation of the Bible verses you mentioned. I for one (for the Romans verses you mentioned) actually look at the context of those verses, which the preceding verses make it clear that it is about idol worship. In historical context, this in no way condemns the modern version of being gay. Biblical context of Romans indicates it is not about our modern gay (adult consenting love), but rather it was about pederasty. The Romans of that day worshiped the minor male body rather than worshiping God. So of course Paul is going to speak out against it. By the way, what did Jesus say about gay? Nothing. Jesus lived among the Greeks (who also worshiped the young male body) and Romans (who worshiped the young male body and fleshly lusts rather than worshiping God). That does not in any way identify with the modern version of gay, which is two adults consenting to be in a relationship– not lust, but love.
        But proper context is not the issue. What you are saying is that your version and your interpretation is the only right interpretation or version. Most theological historians would disagree. And to think you would feel “grieved” and not proud of your child. That is painful to hear. This Pastor is not “glorifying sinful behavior, but rather celebrating God’s creations. This Pastor is saying that each and every person is worthy and that as parents we are to love our children unconditionally. That is not wrong.

      • Greg, we don’t cherry pick verses like people did in the 1850s to justify slavery. Bible passages have *context*.

        The context of Romans 1 is the idol worship introduced in the reign of Claudius, who allowed the worship of the goddess Cybele, who had prominent temples in both Corinth (where Romans was written) and in Rome. Romans and Greeks were rejecting the invisible Deity taught by their own philosophers, and were worshiping Cybele instead using idols of women, lions and serpents. Her male priests, the archgalli, castrated themselves (what a penalty for their error!), and played the part of women in pagan temple prostitution to honor the goddess. Even the women likewise, who worshiped Cybele, were equipped with artificial phalli and played the part of men in idolatrous prostitution. And even with all that, the point of Paul is that all of us sin (2:1). But at any rate, this passage has nothing to do with two boys or two girls who trust in Christ but who happen to fall in love with each other.

        500 years ago, Martin Luther translated 1 Cor. 6:9 as “child abusers”, which is how it seems to have been understood early on.

        And it ought to be evident that Jude 7 is about the attempted rape of angels, not about homosexuality. The attempted gang rape in Genesis 19 no more condemns all homosexuality, than the gang rape of the female concubine in Judges 19 condemns all heterosexuality.

        Please stop using random verses to condemn something you do not understand.

        • I love that you explained the history of certain writtings in the bible. I have never studied the Bible but read passages and believed what I was taught in church to be true because it was a pastor or minister of God telling me so. My son is gay and I struggled with the thought before he even told me because I was told by these men that it was sinful. You have put my fears to rest. I love my son and we both love Jesus and that is what matters.

      • You know God grieves over your sinful behavior also-if being gay is so high on his list of sins why isnt it in the 10 commandments? Im sure god is more dissapointed in you for judging your child or for having sex before marriage for being jealous of someone else and especially for getting a divorce

        God loves everyone the same despite their sins hes not going to hate/condemn you for getting a divorce although you made a promise to god to love this person till death do you part just as he will not condemn a man for loving another man

        If youre child’s gay god doesnt want to hear please help my child- there is nothing wrong with your child they were made in gods image just as he intended- maybe its a test from god to see truely how great our love for fellow man can be

        All i know is if my future child comes out to be gay- they will have one darn supportive mother because nobody will ever hurt my babies physically or emotionally

        • Oh, that that would be true, bb. As the mother of a gay son, I wish I could save him from the hurt the world inflicts upon him – especially from the so- called-Christians who impose their own narrow beliefs on him and our family. So ironic that those who profess to love Jesus follow his example so superficially.

      • I think the MASSIVE problem here is that John seems to suggest that homosexuality isn’t a sin….which it clearly is.

        Romans 1:27 spells it out for us- ”For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, 27and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error.”

        The sad thing is that John is partially right…we ARE to be loving and accepting of the PERSON…but he is woefully wrong about not calling the behavior what it is-sin. It’s a choice for sure, but its a choice to sin. I think Jesus’s heart on the matter is no doubt the love he had for the adulterous woman..but He did tell her to go and sin no more. There are millions of people with latent or surfaced homosexual desires that truly love Jesus that are choosing to fight the abnormal lusts with His help- they’re walking in the light! Those who instead choose to embrace the flesh’s weakness are walking in darkness.

        I mean John, you can try to explain away what Romans says and say that it was intended for the pagans, or Paul wasn’t referring to our day and age, but you fundamentally call darkness light by doing that and in doing so, it takes whatever good your post has and makes it irrelevant. That old adage about poison mixed with sugar. So, to those who have homosexual family- LOVE THEM! But please DO NOT ENDORSE THEIR SIN BY SAYING GOD IS OK WITH THEIR SIN. GUIDE THEM PRRAYERFULLY AND GRACIOUSLY TO A PLACE OF GENUINE REPENTANCE AND BROKENNESS AND THE LOVE OF THE SAVIOR WILL DO THE REST. WE SERVE AN AWESOME AND GRACIOUS KING!

        • I think you are using the Bible in a terribly narrow, damaging, and incorrect way when it comes to sexuality.

          David, for your sake and benefit, I hope you have a gay child one day. For them, I hope not.

        • I love reading how a lot of people are quoting scripture aka the bible aka a book that was written by MAN. Man known for making mistakes and changing truths. Like playing the game telephone where you start with apple and 30,000 years later it’ll come back an orange or banana. So many are quick to judge gays yet no one wants to talk about gluttony or divorce or tattoos or anything else that the world “sins” are or that “Christians” do on a DAILY basis! For all of who believe you can pray the gay away you are in for a rude awakening. And FYI there were to ladies in their 90s who just got married after 70 years <—– emphasize 70 years of being together. They are not the first nor the last. It's nice that finally same sex couples can come out and walk down the street holding hands like an interracial couple can. Except that depending on where they live they can't bevause of so many IGNORANT people with negative views and OPINIONS. Instead of trying to "pray the gay away" and CHANGE someone from being who they really are, how about you practice those Christian values and show love and try and respect them like they respect your "straight" or aka heterosexual relationship. So many kids are being kicked out their homes and bullied and turned away and end up DYING because of too much hatred and ignorance. Actually be the positive change this world needs and get over your egotistical and quite frankly "old world or old school" views. This is the 21st century for goodness sake. Too many of you are going to lose out on great relationships with friends and even family. Not to mention and I have to laugh, there are so many gay people who you probably don't even know are gay that you are friends with right now or in your own family. If you find out, does it really change the person you know? Does it really change who they are? The correct answer is no and if you say anything but that or turn your back on them, really you need to look in the mirror and evaluate yourself and have a good talk with your God because the God I know doesn't believe in being so hateful, hurtful, and judgemental.

      • For those who have not sinned… Cast the first stone. And may I please reference the Ten Commandments, while it is referenced in scattered verses throughout the Bible, no- where in the ten greatest commandments for men was there written that we should judge others, berate others, be ‘holier than thou’, or tell someone they are not good enough for you or your religion. Did the good Samaritan make sure the man he was saving from a cruel ruthless world was straight? Or was he truly pure of heart treating the man like God’s child just the same?

      • the problem here is that the pastor doesn’t trust God,
        the Bible teaches that a “couple” to marry is one man and one woman, then sex is for the married couple, sex in ANY other relationship is perverted sin,
        so trust God, He says that homosexuality is a sin all thru the Bible because homos cannot marry and then cannot have sex,
        homosexuality is then rebellion against God and His Word and His plan for marriage and family,
        homosexuality is a a curable mental/emotional disorder, to have these feelings is a sign that you should seek help, to give in to these feelings with action is sin, to promote and justify these actions is very un-godly and anti-Christian,
        trust God not an ungodly culture

        • Actually Dazell, you don’t trust God, because you aren’t relying on Him to create someone the way He did, (or, if you believe it is a sinful mistake); to change them if He desires.

          If God is as disgusted with “homosexuals” as you say He is:
          1) He could and would change them if He desired, (in which case, wouldn’t encouraging gay people to stay in the Church, give the most chance for Him to speak to them and do this Divine work?)
          2) Their unions/relationships/marriages wouldn’t be honored by Him anyway, (so why does it matter to you?)

          You don’t actually trust God, because you’re obsessed with trying to do His job, and you want to change people, when He doesn’t seem to be. Your God is too small.

        • Homosexuality is not curable……..Prenatal Hormones and sexual orientation. It is genetic and hormonal. The choice CAN come in to play to enter a relationship, and/or marry.
          Folks who think it is a choice do more harm then good to the LGBT community.

      • 2 Timothy 4:3
        For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.

        • You’re right. We should also stone adulterers, suppress women, blame blindness on sin, and keep slaves too, like good “Biblical” people and the “sound doctrine” of the time.

          I think we can do better than Scripture sound bytes to deal with complex issues and the real people they affect.

      • Get over yourself! People are born gay, just as straight people are born that way…”made in HIS image.” If we are able to find someone to love, who loves us back, then we should be so lucky.

      • Greg, you make me want to punch you in the face! You, your ignorance and stupidity are what is wrong with this world. I pray someone shows you the kind of hatred you have displayed here. What does it matter to you? Are they asking you to be gay, to change who you are in any way? Does their choice of partner really affect your life in any way whatsoever? This man is an amazing father and I wish more people, especially in the religious world, could open their eyes for just one second and see how asinine they are being. Somewhere in history, someone hated and persecuted your ancestors but because of tolerance and freedom you are here today. Hate breeds hate and it’s about time we stopped hating one another and start to accept the uniquness. I hope you never have children, gay or not, because your kind of hatred doesn’t need another generation. I pray someone hates you and makes you ashamed of who you are someday so you can understand what your words do to the LGBT community!

      • Do not judge others because they sin differently than you. You are every bit as much of a dinner than this man, just in a different way. Everyone falls short of Christ. That is why he died for us.

        On a lighter note. Good for you, for being an amazing father. Our kids need us and our support, even if we do not agree with their choices.

        • Andrea, you say, “Do not judge others because they sin differently than you”, and that is very well said… we ALL sin, and we are not to judge one another.
          But, my personal sin – gluttony – will separate me from God and take me to Hell, should I pursue it rather than abide in Christ and follow His commandments. If my Christian brother sees that I am falling into sin, the best, most loving thing that he can do for me is take me aside and counsel me about my sin problem, and encourage me to overcome it; similarly, the urge to practice a homosexual lifestyle is also sin, and if we love our gay brothers and sisters, we will pray for them and encourage them and help them to be strong and live lives of celibacy, rather than lives of SIN.

          • Sorry, that should have read,
            “Andrea, you say, “Do not judge others because they sin differently than you”, and that is very well said… we ALL sin, and we are not to judge one another.
            But, my personal sin – gluttony – will separate me from God and take me to Hell, should I pursue it rather than abide in Christ and follow His commandments. If my Christian brother sees that I am falling into sin, the best, most loving thing that he can do for me is take me aside and counsel me about my sin problem, and encourage me to overcome it; similarly, practicing a homosexual lifestyle (the ACT, and not the urge) is also sin, and if we love our gay brothers and sisters, we will pray for them and encourage them and help them to be strong and live lives of celibacy, rather than lives of SIN.

          • Yes, keep praying. Keep praying the way I prayed- tearfully, begging- God to make me “normal”. I was a confused child and I begged God for 7 years.
            Eventually I stopped.
            I find it a miracle I’m still religious at all, that I still believe in God, when so many people who claim to be God’s spokespeople tell me that that which God has made me has also condemned me.
            That same God who loves me and made me a unique human unto myself and created every aspect of me lovingly in my mothers womb, also detests an innate part of my being, and as he had made me, has condemned me.
            7 years of tearful prayer, of tearful begging for me to be normal, to be like everyone else, to be loved. But I suppose it was a “choice” I made to be gay after all, wasn’t it?

      • This is sad. One, God doesn’t create anything bad or wrong, nor does He knit someone in His intent with imperfections. The world, past sins and satan are the causes for the birth defects or paths of sin in our life. We all have free will. Free will to act obedient to Scripture, God’s Word. Homosexuality is a sin, just as acting out sexual acts outside if marriage. Both must fight the ‘sin’ in both situations. If you are not married and heterosexual, stay in the parameters of the Word on list and sexual purity. Same goes for those gay. Stay within the parameters of the Word and don’t give into your sexual desires of sin either. This reminds me of the ‘anger’ references. Ephesians 4:26 states that anger isn’t the sin but what comes from the anger that can become sin. That’s how our sexuality is… Whatever you believe you are, gay or straight, we still are commanded to remain sexually pure. Marriage is defined scripturally between a woman and a man. With emphasis on multiplying and being fruitful. Marriage is not for those of same sex gender, as they cannot multiply. That wasn’t God’s intent. Those that struggle in ANY sin need to turn from it. As a pastor, I’m in shock of your words and would be Cautioned with what you teach sir. Please don’t falsely teach or use His Word for your own agenda.

      • I was thinking the same thing while reading this. If you have indeed read your Bible let then you would know that God says being Homosexual is a sin, that a man should be with a woman and not man with man or woman with woman. Would I stop loving my child? Absolutely not. But would I be grief stricken by their sin? YES! I would be heartbroken because I would know own that they face an eternity of condemnation and hell’s flames. I would pray for their redemption and salvation. I would pray for them to turn from their sin. I would never stop praying for that!

      • Greg here is something that I have never agrees with. Yes the “devil works with lies and hatred. But you must be honest with yourself with what is in your heart when you think of Gays. If the most over powering thought is disgust, disdain or pity, then Satan is already home. He lives in your heart, for you have managed to elevate yourself above others, when it comes to God’s grace in your mind

      • Greg here is something that I have never agrees with. Yes the “devil works with lies and hatred. But you must be honest with yourself with what is in your heart when you think of Gays. If the most over powering thought is disgust, disdain or pity, then Satan is already home. He lives in your heart, for you have managed to elevate yourself above others, when it comes to God’s grace, in your mind. Just because you read the bible or go to church does not make you saved nor does it give you the right to speak for God. If the creator finds offense in people then the creator will deal with those people in time. Our purpose is simply to love one another with out judgment. You the that king David was a murderer for the sake of adultery and your bible teaches that he was still “a man after God’s own heart”.

      • Greg… it also says in the Bible to not judge others. Do not try to act like you are more holy than God. You’re a sin because you were born you’re sinning by judging this pastors choice for his children. Obviously you’re a religious idiot. I go to church and I read my Bible. I pray, I repent and by hell I sin. But I can’t believe that you actually think God would accept how you’re blasting your tongue to this man. Maybe you’ll wake up one day and think bout that

      • Does Christ not forgive all sins? Does he not forgive a man who murdered? Does he not forgive a man who has lied? The Bible states that Christ forgives ALL sins, not just the ones that man dictates as being forgivable. It is not up to man to put limitations on the unending and unlimited love and forgiveness of Christ, it is however up to man to uphold Christ’s main message he left for his children. To just show Love.

      • WELL SAID GREG, And just because you Love your Children enough to Correct them does NOT make you a Monster! Love is telling the truth in Love… Are there those who Hate ? YES, BUT you CAN Hate the sin while Loving the Sinner!!!

        • How exactly and specifically do you “hate the sin and love the sinner”, as in the case of your child, as the post discusses.

          Please give us some illustration on how you do this.

          What specifically do you do?
          What precisely do you say?
          Do you kick him out? If so, when?
          If he refuses to repent of his homosexuality, do you allow him to stay in your home? If so, are you condoning sin?
          Do you tell family members and your church family?
          Do you get him treatment? If so, what kind?
          What would he have to do or say to prove to you that he deserves to get into Heaven?

      • You need to decide whether you’re Jewish or Christian, because I’m pretty sure the Gospels (you know, those pesky books all about how Jesus Christ wanted us to live) have a whole lot of writing about loving others, and treating others with respect and inclusivity regardless of their differing views. However, if you want to go on about the OT stuff, which is all Jewish fire and brimstone, by all means do. But don’t speak on behalf of Christians. Being Christian is about striving to live in Christ’s image, not finding justification for your ignorance and discrimination and lack of understanding in the books of the Bible that Jesus himself spoke against and worked tirelessly for change. This pastor gets it…..he is a Christian, and a human being, and someone I would gladly go and hear speak on a Sunday.
        Finally, what’s with all your absolute fascination with sex? I could not care less how people want to have sex, or who with. I don’t ever spend time thinking about my heterosexual friends having sex. Why would I think about my gay friends having sex? It’s nobody’s business. You want to speak about sin from your Old Testament Hebrew perspective? Ok. Well, I really hope you’re not eating any shellfish or all that other stuff that’s forbidden. Like bacon. And obviously you all cover your heads, cos it’s like a major sin if you don’t. And I feel really sorry for you, not being able to wear linen or wool or cotton. I guess you must be awesome at keeping all God’s rules, the ones the Hebrew God gave out, as you’re so concerned with the ones others seem to be breaking.
        Frankly, I’d be more concerned about my children turning into intolerant, extremist rednecks, like you.

      • Hey, you’re an idiot Greg. The sin of being gay is no greater than divorce, adultery, eating until you’re full, wearing different fabrics at the same time, and all the other little sins no one thinks about. If anything we should all be praying for your intolerance and narrow mindedness. You know, that’s kind of the whole message of your religion, to accept others for who they are and to accept the fact that we are all full of sin and naturally born with it. And I guess I’ll leave you with one last thing before I go, “He who is without sin may cast the first stone.” Don’t think a gay man’s sin outweighs yours. You are both equals and you have no right, not even within your religion, to try and change that.

      • Greg, how truly horrible and unchristian you sound. The bible defines a lot of things as sin. Divorce is a sin. Adultry is a sin. Simply coveting another is a sin. Are you going to love your kids less under those situations as well? As far as I know my kids are straight. However, I have always known that I wanted them to follow their hearts. I love them unconditionally and as I read the pastor’s article I found myself nodding in agreement. The world and it’s judgmental, hateful, untolerating people are cruel (and unchristian like) enough. Home will ALWAYS be a place of conditional love.

      • smh.. I don’t think God wires anyone to be gay after all we are made in his image and likeness. Why would he wire anyone to be in a situation where they continually do something which He abhors. Does he wire people to be thieves, or adulterers ? It is not our job to preach tolerance and acceptance of things which God hates. Should we also preach that killing is fine with God or or disobedience to one’s parents is ok with him? God has a standard. We are to conform to His standard not make his scriptures fit ours. The unfortunate thing is that with the great falling away comes preaching which is contrary to God’s Word.

      • Paula, it seems as though you have evil in your heart and have no understanding of what being christian truly means. I will say a prayer for you, for it is you who has “caved to others feelings” not the other way around.

      • Ur a jackass, u can’t help who u fall in love with, if u don’t approve of gay weddings don’t go to one, also y should we shun only gay ppl? If being gay is wrong in the bible we shun them but what about divorced ppl? That’s wrong also because if u marry someone u are supposed to love them and work out ur problems! I mean if u don’t like the dude don’t marry him! I don’t care at all if ur gay, fat, black, white or whatever for all I care u can have 6 armes and 5 eyes I wouldn’t care I’ll be nice if ur nice! Loving someone is a huge responsability love them for who they are and who the become not for what YOU want them to be! Gay ppl are the nicest ppl you will ever meet, it’s the religious ppl who r the evil sinners because y’all judge every one by looks, money, fame because y’all don’t even try to get to know them! I’m not gay or bi! But I support them 1000 percent!

      • Greg, it’s sad to see someone that says he believes in God be so judgmental . You, yourself are a sinner for judging others for their sexuality. God made everyone of us. God made me and I am Gay. So how can I be a sin? It’s so very sad that those that call themselves Christians are so hateful, judgmental and ignorant to a fellow human being.

      • Greg. Your pathetic rant has left me breathless, how could a supposed man of god refuse to love equally, and unconditionally their children, and they’re sexual preference, be it a choice of theirs or not. My mother is an amazing christian pastor, with 3 gay children, one being myself. How can you applaud the words of your god, and not be accepting of something so unique and created by your god himself. Everything my mother does is to help others, spread love, and change as many lives along the way as she can, as she works through god. She is amazing. Maybe you could learn a thing or two from her

      • You are so ignorant. Perhaps its not your fault…perhaps you were raised in a bubble. But would it be so bad to open your mind and heart to a little love and acceptance? Come on, give it a try. ..I know you can do it!

      • BOY! Trying to find the right place to leave a comment requires a skill all its own in a post like this. Hope I’m in the right place.

        JOHN … in regards to “how to love the sinner and hate the sin” … You are a youth pastor. I’m confident that you have (or have had) students who are involved in drugs. And I’m confident that you love them like crazy–yet hate what their sin is doing to their lives. How do you love them and hate their sin?

        I’m not speaking from inexperience. I have an adult brother who has made a lifetime of horrible choices … and is dealing with the consequences of them. It’s hard for all of us–especially my parents. I HATE THE SIN … I HATE what it has done TO him and IN him. But I LOVE HIM! And I do what I can to help him and support him as he walks through the consequences.

        It’s the same as a parent. You certainly don’t abandon your children when they make poor decisions. It’s hard for you … but it’s probably harder for them, when they know (and believe me … growing up in a Christian home … they know) the truth. As believers we know what it’s like to live in habitual, unconfessed sin … Psalm 32 tells us that it eats us up from the inside out. And THAT hurts parents deeply.

        It has nothing to do with judging. God’s Word is clear. All of this new stuff on “homosexuality being ok with God” is hogwash. It’s sin. But that doesn’t change the way we love.

        It’s by our LOVE that the world knows we belong to Christ … at least that should be the DEFINING character of our lives. If it’s not … then WE are the ones with the problem.

      • This is in response to many people’s( Christian’s?) comments on here stating that ,Homosexuality is a sin in God’s eyes. That by acting on our homosexuality, we are committing a sin worthy of Everlasting Damnation. Well all I can say as a Gay man is…Shame on you! BUT…please, don’t be offended by that last comment and continue to read, I am not here to cause trouble. 🙂
        The reason I said shame on you, is because I find it so sad that many people waste so much of their lives spewing forth hatred against others who have just as much right to live and enjoy their lives as you do. Furthermore, the right to live the life of Their choosing, and no one else’s. Now let me clarify what I mean by ‘their choosing’. I can already see what some of you are thinking when I, as a gay man use the word choice, when it pertains to my sexuality. I am gay, and contrary to what some of you may believe, there is Nothing I can do to change that. So growing up, and then nearing my 20’s, I Chose to accept that I was gay and live my life. Choosing to accept it wasn’t easy, but it hasn’t damaged me, nor has it damaged my Loving family. I have so far led a very full life, have a job that I love doing, have travelled, fallen in and out of love…just like many of you. So yes, I chose to be true to myself, to not live a life filled with lies, shame, regret, self pity and remorse.
        At this point I should state that I am Not a Christian, although I do come from a Christian family. I did attend church and Sunday school as a child, so learning about God and religion was part of my upbringing. So when I started to feel ‘different’ growing up I did turn to God. I didn’t automatically think I was gay, I don’t think that as a 8 year old child I even had an understanding of what being gay was. I just knew that something about me seemed to be different than the other boys. I can still vividly remember laying in bed, praying to God that he ‘Fix’ whatever was ‘Broken’ in me that made me different. I prayed for many years asking God to please, let me wake up tomorrow and just be ‘normal’. Needless to say, this had no effect. But I continued to feel shame, especially as I hit puberty and then began to realize what was actually different about me. Now you can probably imagine that growing up in a small rural village during the 80’s was not an easy road. I was lost and alone, with no one to talk to or to tell me that it was ok, that I would be ok. As an adolescent, I did Not want to be gay, I did Not want to have to go through what I imagined would be a life of ridicule, shame and self hatred. Now, I would ask that you stop a second and let that sink in…as a child, I would not have wanted, or Chosen to be gay. If at any time during my childhood I had somehow found a way to stop being gay, I think I most certainly would have. As I grew and realized that changing it wasn’t humanly possible, I tried to turn my focus towards accepting the life I was born with and making the best of it. I commend myself for having gone through that, and am saddened by the loss of all those who weren’t so lucky. Many of them probably even had parents much like some of the hateful people who have commented here. I could also say that some of you may have children who are going through similar difficulties at this very moment. Feeling ashamed and alone. Is this how you would like your children to feel? As good Christians, should you not learn to accept the things you cannot change? Should you not respect and accept other people even though they may lead a different lifestyle than you? Love and nurture your children, teach them the skills they need to lead successful lives, and not condemn them for being different than you? Do you honestly believe that a child who is loved and respected by their parents, would ever purposely hurt their parents by choosing to be gay? Of course not, it’s an absolutely ridiculous idea.
        Now this brings me back to the question of choice, and I would very much like to ask any Christian against homosexuality reading this, to ask themselves this very simple question. “At what point during your life did you make the choice to be Heterosexual”? Now stop and think, really think about that. When did you know that you were attracted to the opposite sex? Did you wake up one morning when you where 7 years old and say, I’m heterosexual? On your 15th birthday did you have an, “I’m a proud Heterosexual” talk with your parents? My guess is that none of you can remember when you chose to be straight, that’s simply how you were born. You could even now never imagine living your life any other way. Therefore, why is it such a leap of faith for some of you to think that the same is not true for homosexual people? Why can we not simply be accepted for what we are, as are you? There are so many different types of people on this earth, different nationalities, different beliefs and yes, people with different sex lives. Children are not born knowing hatred, that is something that is taught, or shown through example. Stop teaching and spreading hate, start accepting and focusing on the positive instead. Your children will thank you.

        To Pastor John: I apologize if I have rambled on too long, I did get a little caught up! I just wanted to say that I very much enjoyed reading your post. It makes me very happy to know that there are people such as yourself out there. Your children are very lucky to have such wonderful parents. I wish you and your family all the best.

      • I agree. This is horrible coming from a pastor. I agree that we are to love everyone and not to hate. We are not to judge but as a pastor to say that god created someone gay. I don’t believe it. Its wrong on so many levels and he is right, I will pray for him.

      • Growing up in Northern Canada in the 70’s, I knew of several teens who attempted suicide or fell into other self-destructive addictions. I later came to learn that most often, they were gay and could not exist in a community culture that denied their chance to be real and true. If this blog post of yours, which I admire greatly, lightens this burden of inhumanity for even one child, then you have done your part to make a better world.

      • Greg, having sex outside of marriage has been described in the Bible as wrong. That’s what your Bible verses address — the sex act. Thankfully, now many gay couples can legally marry so it should no longer be an issue for you.

        Frankly, the Bible has been changed thousands of times since the beginning of Christianity. Recognize that, as well as the teachings of Jesus, since His message has never changed. We are commanded to love one another.

        Don’t limit God.

      • Mathew 7:5
        Everyone sins, that’s why we need Jesus. And Jesus told us to love each other the way He loves us (which is literally to death) despite our flaws (sin). Christianity summed up. Don’t take my word for it, read it yourself: the entire new testament.

      • I’m very sad that you think a pastor who is thinking like a human and a TRUE Christian is out of line. You fear and hatred is the problem here! How dare you tell people that a book that says people should shave, eat seafood or have mixed threads. Oh yeah also salvery is vaild.

        Get a life and try to be human and love all people. Let the big man upstairs judge me not you!

      • You remind me a lot of my mother. Right about she’s in some nursing home in Alabama, dying all alone because of what an obnoxious, hateful jerk she is. For all I know she’s already dead. I hope your children treat you the same way.

      • Here’s some truth: Being gay is not primarily about sex, any more than being straight is primarily about sex. Both descriptions are primarily about love, and about whom you might be able to fall in love with. To the best of my knowledge, God doesn’t place any restrictions on love.

        And if you don’t make it your business what a straight couple does in the bedroom (and I hope you don’t!), then don’t make it your business what a gay couple does in the bedroom. That’s between themselves and their God(s).

      • Greg, its unfortunate that you like many other christians feel like its your job to change people. Jesus told us to do two things. Love the Lord your God with all your heart soul and mind. Then he told us to love one another. No where did Jesus ever tell us that we should correct or change people. That’s God’s job not mine or yours. My job is to love Him and to love others. Thats a big enough challenge for all of us. Romans 2:2 says that when we judge others we make ourselves out to be God. Thats not something I feel comfortable with.

        I don’t remember much about going to church when i was growing up. I remember my youth pastor speaking to me one time. He asked me if I had a cigarette in my hand. It was only an offering envelope I folded. But there was one sunday school teacher that had all the hippies in our church. His name was Mike Dodson at Rehoboth Baptist Church in Atlanta. I dont remember my youth pastor, but I remember him. He knew I got high before I went to church. He knew more about me that I thought he did. But the one thing I remember is that he loved me and he came faithfully every sunday to teach a group of guys who didn’t really care too much about being there.

        Greg, I hope you are the kind of person who others will remember one day like I remember Mike Dodson. He has no idea where I am or what I am doing now, but he impacted my life. All I can say is that I love God, I love everyone and I love you no matter what your beliefs are. I hope we can all find the love that Christ has to give to us.

      • The Bible tells us that God made us “in His image and likeness…” (See Genisis 1:26, 27) So… To say God has made some people “gay” is paramount to saying “God is gay.”

        I think… That this LIE from the very pit of hell has been bought hook, line and sinker by a lot of people, for their own reasons. And only God can deliver them. Every person trapped in this lifestyle are headed to an eternity lost and separated from God and eternal life. They need salvation just like any one else. Not judgment nor condemnation by anyone. But they also do not need anyone LYING to them by telling them “they couldn’t possibly help themselves because they were born this way.”

      • Just for clarity, since you are quoting the bible, you should continue the readings to include Romans 1:28, 1 Corinthians 6:10, 1 Timothy 1:8-15…..basically don’t be selective in what you put forward.
        Let’s also remember Matthew 7:1-5

      • Greg, as I was reading this article and
        was thinking the same thoughts. This article really sadden me. I would never stop loving my child but I would pray they he or she turned from their wicked ways(II Chronciles 7:14). It doesn’t matter what sin it may be. He is really confusing folks and God is not the author of confusion. His WORD is his WORD and you cannot add to it or take a way from it!!! Christian really need to start praying for our leaders and our country!!!

      • Agree completely with Greg. It’s so sad to see others distort Gods Word for their own purpose to justify the sin of the day (or decade). We were all created with a sin nature, it does not excuse our sin.

      • Well Greg, thank God that people like you are a dying breed. Pretty soon you dinosaurs will be extinct.

        And 100 years from now we’ll all look at people like you the way that we now look at people who thought blacks couldn’t go to heaven 100 years ago.

      • What about YOUR sins? Do you eat swine (pork), Do you eat shrimp? Do you circumcise your boy babies? Do you wear mixed fabric? Do you have sex outside of marriage? Do you tell little white lies? Are you fat? Do you eat or drink too much? Do you gossip? Do you look down at others? Do you desire another besides your spouse? The list goes on and on….sorry, you are the sinner. We are ALL sinners. I refuse to knowingly judge others, because I have enough to work on myself. Those who say they are without sin are lying. We will never be perfect in this world. We can ONLY do our best. Stop preaching sin and preach the Love of God, you will get better results in winning people to eternity.

        http://biblehub.com/matthew/7-5.htm

      • This is where Christians fall short in the department of knowing that Christ is LOVE. Jesus accepted EVERYONE. He loved beggars, thieves and prostitutes just the same. As a beautiful Methodist pastor and I had discussed (and agreed) is that it is not your place to judge someone whose sexual preference is different. Do you have to agree or condone it? No, certainly not, but by the same token, as a Christian, you love that person just the same, particularly a beloved family member! To love them does not mean you condone or agree. You hate the sin? Fine. Then it will be up to God to judge those people, not you. To turn your back and scorn or heap shame someone who is gay is far more sinful than anything the gay person can possibly do.

      • ‘Tis a sad child that has you as a father. Your love is conditional, only if your children completely fills out the mold you have created for them. This pastor is a beautiful example of unconditional love. Whether his children turn out heterosexual or homosexual or somewhere in between matters not to him; what matters to him is that they are his children, nothing more, and nothing less. To try and change your child to suit you, is to inflict the most insidious harm upon your son or daughter in a useless cruel attempt to change what you cannot. God help your children and protect them from you.

        By way of explanation, being gay is a lot like being left handed. It is not something we are born with, but develop in our early years. Your child’s sexuality cannot be changed, only imprisoned in a psychological cage of hurt and shame. If you do not believe this, consider that in the dark ages (400), left handed people were stoned because they were infected by the devil. Good that we have learned a few things since then.

      • You are the reason your church will die with this generation, and I couldn’t be happier to see this hate group I was raised in come to its well deserved and long coming end. I feel bad for the pastor that made this post, I have respect for them for what they have said and for the work they put into becoming a pastor however I would encourage them to change to one of the many many other religions that are very similar and have the same core set of beliefs minus the repetitive lifelong acts of hate, manipulation, and hypocrisy that the catholic faith is plagued by. And that’s not even starting on the uneducated opinionated losers like yourself that use an outdated and poorly translated book to defend your inability to accept anyone that isn’t like you. Either learn to read scripture in its original language or don’t use it as your only defense.

        Also, if and or when your children do question their sexuality, even if they do turn out to be straight, please just let a decent family raise them, its better that than let them grow up destroying their own psyche because of their messed up parents.

      • Greg,

        I am horrified, embarrassed and saddened by what you seem to try to convey with your post.

        I am baffled at the ideal that you feel the need to comfort your faith by belittling others. It is sad that you feel the need to classify others as sinners to make you feel better! You disgust me!

        You need to learn not to pick and choose what you want to in the bible. If you were a true Christian you would understand that you are to love everyone – I am lost at how you say you are religious yet you don’t love your neighbor as yourself.

        I tend to question as to why you are so aginst it and I strongly believe that you are hiding something! I would argue that you yourself may be gay, you are so naïve and ignorant that it is just sad.

        So next time you are at church, lying to the face of god, pretending to live the life god would want, next time you think a gay individual is a sin think about your self because let me be clear you are one naïve, ignotant and hyprocrite.

        You are the ideal of hyprocricy and an embarrisment to your faith.

        As a gay individual myself I have been ridiculed by individuals who call them selves Christian, I was absued because of how god created me. Who are you to judge what god created! Now, I know for a fact you think it is a choice, but let me be clear, – it was not a choice, I never said oh I want to e gay, I want to be harassed and abused because I love someone of the same sex. I never said oh I love being criticised and judged – if it were a choice no one would chose the hard path in life.

        Take some time, take your hands out of your eas, get with the modern society and deal with it, love people for who they are not for who they love!

        Next time you think you are the ideal Christian think of how you are violating the following passages from the bible … you sinner – as you said a sin is a sin so here we go you are just as much of a sinner as I am…

        John 6:37
        All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out.

        Romans 15:7
        Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.

        Ephesians 4:2-3 “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

      • Trying to replay to this comment: Dee on September 29, 2014 at 3:30 pm said:
        The Bible tells us that God made us “in His image and likeness…” (See Genisis 1:26, 27) So… To say God has made some people “gay” is paramount to saying “God is gay.”
        This might just be the most ridiculous thing I have ever read. Dee, you have ventured out of your home, right? You have noticed that people come in all shapes and colors, various sizes, and dare I say, different levels of intelligence, right??? So is it then blasphemy to say white people or black people are made in God’s image? I mean, he can only be one, according to your logic. So I guess women are not made in God’s image. And is it only tall people that are perfect? Maybe we can start a race of perfect people for you? Wait, that was tried. Do you see the LUNACY in what you are saying????

      • God doesn’t pick and chose who he loves, it is unconditional weather there is sin or not. We can choose not to believe it is right, but as parent, I could not withold my love either, that love is unconditional as well. Judging and refusing to love and accept a gay person, well what makes this not a sin as well?

      • No…everyone….just, no: “Make sure they understand that your love for them comes with strings attached. When you say that you’ll still love them “but…”, then you aren’t loving them unconditionally. It doesn’t matter what follows the word “but”.”

        It certainly does matter, Shane. If you child is a heroin addict, love them, but don’t support them. If your child is a serial killer, please don’t support them in that lifestyle. If your child abuses their spouse or children, please help them to change that behavior. These are all behaviors that are harmful to either themselves or others, or both, so they should not be supported/enabled.

        Being gay harms not a single soul; it simply means that your child will be attracted to people of the same sex, some or all of the time. It means that, should they choose to have a family, it will probably not be via traditional means, but through a donor or surrogate or adoption. That is all it means. There are really no other difference on this earth, and it doesn’t affect anyone or their religion or families in any way. If your religion won’t allow you to “accept” the reality of LGBT people in the world, it’s time to get a new perspective, because we’re here. Get over it.

        My father was in the seminary for 12 years of his life, both of my parents taught in Catholic schools and I attended them, and guess who officiated my recent wedding to my beautiful wife? My father. Guess who walked me down the aisle? Both of my parents. Guess who, even if they had hesitations when I came out, never burdened ME with any of their insecurities or confusion because they knew it was their problem and not mine? Your job as a parent is to make sure your child is well-adjusted, happy and healthy. If you are making them feel bad about something that is part of who they are and not harmful to anyone else, you are doing it wrong, period.

      • And what do you think “God” thinks about those spreading their constant negativity and hateful words? I suppose – based in your obvious beliefs, that you weren’t “born” this way, but rather you CHOOSE to be this ignorant and negative. I think I speak for many when I say that we will pray for you to stop this judgmental and sinful behavior. That is, you are a sinner since only God can judge us right? Yet you sit and judge this man’s beautifully opinionated post asking how he can be a man of God? Get a life or better yet, get a hobby that involves more pleasant behavior. 🙂

      • Greg, I think it is interesting that you insist we stick to the Bible, because the Bible presents – for you and many like you – our standard of morality. In that Bible we see that human slavery is condoned. In the Bible, one human being owning another human being is not just ok, but condoned. Paul sent Onesimus back to Philemon as a “brother in Christ,” but still a slave. True – Paul sends Onesimus to Philemon, “no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother.” But in the context (remember context?) Paul says, “I would have liked to keep him with me so that he could take your place in helping me while I am in chains for the gospel. But I did not want to do anything without your consent, so that any favor you do will be spontaneous and not forced.” Paul is sending the slave back to the slave owner, and deferring to the slave owner’s rights over the slave. This would have been a marvelous time to condemn one human being owning another human being, but Paul did not do this. Paul could have kept Onesimus with him as a free man, but he did not do this. Your Bible condones slavery – yet I think today even you would say that slavery is wrong. It is by this twisted moral authority that you condemn gay and lesbians.

      • Seriously. “My son is a pedifile/murderer/rapist/theif, but that’s how God created him, so I’m going support his decisions. I have 3 sons. I would hope that they would choose to live a God fearing life. I absolutely don’t hate gays, or alcoholics, or thiefs, because all of us are sinners. I have gay friends that I love dearly. But that does not mean that I approve of life decisions they have made. Shame on a “pastor” (I use that term loosely) to condone such behavior.

      • He’s is not glorifying any sinful behavior in my opinion!!! All he’s has shown by writing this piece is his unwaivering love for his children!! He is showing compassion for everyone not just straight people!! Just because you don’t agree with him you are judging him & that isn’t anyone’s job to do but God himself!! Everyone who believes in God knows that we all were created before we were ever born; the day we will be born, the life that we will lead for a reason and a purpose, to the day we will die and how!! So many people think that being “gay” is a choice, that it’s something that can be fixed…
        If it is a choice to be “gay” do you really think these children born into families & a world that are unaccepting would actually choose a lifestyle that disappointed their families & brings such heartache & criticism?? Why would anyone chose to be “gay” & struggle with their true identity, live for years depressed & unhappy because they have to hide their true identity to protect their parents/family from the ridicule they will recieve from their church, friends, co-workers, ect!! I know if I had a choice (& Im straight) I wouldn’t chose a life that is so unaccepted & would bring me much more pain than joy!! Why would any Christan who wants to serve our God chose a lifestyle that is so unaceptable in the Christian community, in a world where we are in a constant state of war not just with other countries but within are own!! There are plenty of people who are “straight” that don’t believe in our God, & do the devils work, so why should we comdem “gay” people who want to serve our lord & spread his word!! Why is it fair for anyone who believes themselves to be a Christian to take it upon themselves to judge another & push them away from Gods word because they disagree with the “gay” lifestyle…in my opinion I believe if you feel compelled to say it’s a sin to be gay or love/support someone who is because you believe it’s a choice, you are being hypocrites & are sinning just as the people you are judging because they believe different from you!! We are all sinners, & as children of god we should love one another & forgive!! Everyone’s entitled to an opinion, that is our God given right, my problem is not with the opinion anyone has, my problem is the way those opinions are voiced!! There are much more tactful ways to voice your opinion that will not cause a person so much shame & heartache & I’m sure there are many of you out there who have figured out a way to do that, to say I disagree but I still love you & respect you as a child of God!! This pastor is setting a great example of love & acceptance & he is giving the gay community a safe & loving place to serve our lord!!

      • Greg, what makes it a sin? You and several others interpretation of a scripture changed through several translations and interpreted without the aid of social science to develop a proper historical context? It seems to me, through my laymen interpretation of the New Testament, that Jesus spent more time showing love, compassion and empathy than running about harking on sin. In fact, he made absolutely zero mention of homosexuality; so if it is such a mortal sin that we should cast out, perhaps God’s son might have seen it as important to bring that up? You are a perfect example of today’s Christian, staring so hard at a tree that you fail to see the forest. The New Testament and the Bible are meant to be taken as a whole, so quoting lines does nothing for me when you fail to understand what the entirety of the word is meant to be.

      • A) He said nothing about living together. LGBTQ can court, or date or have pure intentions just like straights. Don’t assume all LGBTQ participate in vulgar acts 24/7 just based on who they’re attracted to. B) What does being a liar or a thief have ANYTHING to do with this post? You are making assumptions based on your personal biases by comparing LGBTQ to liars and thieves.

      • He neither glorified nor condoned the behavior. He just expressed how he would continue to love his kids regardless of their sexual orientation and not ostracize them or treat them like they have a disease. Just because a person may identify themselves as gay doesn’t mean they’re sinning and going to hell. The Bible speaks about it being a sin when you act on it. You compared Pastor John’s blog to a heterosexual couple living together and fornicating. He makes no mention of condoning gay couples fornicating just about loving his children well. I was raised in the church and am completely disgusted with legalistic people like you. I don’t mean to be rude. I was legalistic at one point as well. I’m so grateful that I woke up and realized that human beings just need to be loved and I need to leave the judging to the One who gets to judge; that would be God.

      • As a minister and a parent of a gay child, how can anyone call normal what God calls an abomination? I choose to pray that God will change my child and let them see that how they are living in NOT normal. It is a perversion. I love my daughter with all of my heart and we do still have a relationship. But I refuse to see Homosexuality as anyone’s normal.

        • As you are a minister, I find it extremely disturbing that you call homosexuality an abomination, instead of accurately stating that ritual behaviors involving homosexual acts (a common pagan practice at the time, and what the passage is about) are not acceptable within the Jewish culture. That takes more time to say, sure, but it’s a far more accurate description of what the passage means.

      • Yes the scripture does state these things very vividly but at the same time it also says not to look at the splinter in another man’s eye and ignore the plank in your own. We as humans are called to love everyone unconditionally as Christ loves us. Unconditionally meaning without condition, there shouldn’t be any buts about it. This pastor is speaking about love and acceptance, which goes far beyond the straight/gay conversation.

      • The funny thing is you’re bashing him while acknowledging you’re sinning and relying on contradicting statements laid out written in a book by man that has been re-written and plugged with improper comparisons and ideas.

        Your take on “The Bible” is a lie, it was written by liars, maybe not originally, but the original bible no doubt said many of the things todays bible does say.

        Either way, shame on you, for not following the bible you believe in.

      • Greg, could you clarify your usage of the word behavior? I ask because never in the post did the pastor mention any behaviors except those of a father loving his children. He didn’t speak to any behaviors that would be uniquely characteristic of a gay person, because that was not the point of the post. The idea that if a person is gay that he or she is automatically engaged in immoral behavior is an awfully big supposition. If you’re saying that the very act of being gay is sinful, that desires and temptations are sinful, then I point you to Hebrews, where Jesus is said to have been tempted in every way just as we are, yet without sin.

        This post is not centered on whether a gay man or woman (or any other LGBTQ person) can have a Christ-centered sexual relationship. That is an entirely different issue. The post is about loving your children because they are your children, regardless of their tendencies or even their behaviors.

      • Greg.. my God is a loving God… HE creates… and HE loves… and I thought that the only one to judge was God himself… why is it that so many of God’s children think they have the right to judge others??? That is so sad… I have two friends who are married and who happen to be gay.. They also both believe in God and have very strong faith. They are accepted in their churches with open arms. Aren’t we all sinners saved by grace? The only one who can judge is one without sin… If you can find a human here on earth who is qualified, I would love to meet them… May God bless you and open your eyes to His never failing love…

      • Because he worships a loving God, not that pale replica you’re touting. Because he attempts to live as “like Christ” as he can.

      • I’m posting on this reply for two people: the author of the blog, and the commenter, Greg. First off, JOHN – I wanted to thank you, for writing something so beautiful, and with your children knowing that whatever choices they make in life, you’ll be behind them one hundred percent of the way, without a doubt. As a gay man myself, one of the toughest things I had to go through was coming out to my parents (which, for them, wasn’t a surprise). I had expected the worst when I came out to them: I expected to be disowned, thrown to the street, and never to see my family again. But it wasn’t like that at all. The response I received from them was, “OK…..and? We still love you for you, and nothing will change that.” It came to be one of the greatest things I’ve done.

        And now, to focus my attention on this other person who has commented, GREG. You make it sound like being gay is the world’s biggest sin and nothing else tops it. Do you know what else is a sin, according to God? Lying, cheating, stealing, DIVORCE!!!!!!!! But everyone is okay with divorce, but according to God, it’s still a sin. You can get married 300 times in your life (all thanks to the “lovely” creation of divorce), but I can’t marry the person I love because it’s not accepted in the state where I live. What is wrong with this picture? Move onto another subject.

      • I wanted to rely to this blog for two reasons: the author, John, and a commenter, Greg. First, the author: I want to thank you for writing this blog. It’s nice to know that there are parents like you who will love their children unconditionally, no matter what choices in life they make. As a gay man myself, I know what it’s like to come out of the closet, so to speak. Coming out to my parents was one of the hardest things I ever done because, like many others, I expected the worst: I expected to be disowned, thrown out, and never see my own family again. It was heartbreaking. But when I finally told them, their response was simple: “OK……and???? We still love you for who you are. Nothing will change that.” So, I freaked out for nothing. I love that you will stand behind your children if no matter what their sexuality will be. There need to be more parents like you and less judgement.

        Now to focus on Greg. While I can respect your decision on your own beliefs, you make it seem that being gay is the only sin out there, or if not the only sin, you make it sound like it’s the biggest one of all. Well, guess what, Greg. It’s not the biggest one. Do you know what are bigger, according to the eyes of God? Lying tops it, you also have cheating, stealing, adultery, and what’s the other one? Oh yeah……DIVORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, Greg, divorce is still considered a sin in the bible, but guess what, EVERYONE DOES IT, it seems, and we, the people, think it’s OK, because we will repent and ask God for forgiveness, and then all is right with the world once again. You, Greg (I’m assuming you’re heterosexual), can get married 300 times in your lifetime if you wanted to, but I, a gay man, can’t marry the man I love even ONCE because it’s not recognized by the state where I live. So what’s wrong with this picture? Get off your high horse and stop acting so high and mighty, because you, sir, are a sinner, too. Get over it already.

      • It is not a sin. How old and mislead are you? I do not believe in the God or Satan but I do not have a problem with anyone who has faith. You’re a sin to nature. You’ve probably had a few dicks in your mouth and liked it. Does that scare you? It’s okay, no one will judge you. Mostly because you’re useless and no one gives a shit about you. This message goes out to all others who feel the need to give your opinion on this topic. I know everyone is entitled to their own, but yours is wrong. One day the world will be rid of ignorant people such as yourselves and it will be much better for it.

      • I agree that we should love our children if the were gay or living in other sin or simply not living for the Lord. However, I think the pastor is stitching the Psalms verse a little to much there to try to support his view. I do not think God will sinned some one to the Hell because of his orientation but the bible does clearly shows the homosexual behavior is a sin. The church does make this bigger than it is and I am sure the media has help them become even bigger than it needs to be. I agree, like I said, that we should love and show love to our children no matter what as this articlel says but I have to disagree with him on that he thinks that be gay was a God thing and that is not supported in scripture!!!! What he is doing is loving his kids more than the Word of God and Gods commands. Also, Tolerance and acceptance of a view are two different things. I just wonder what happen to all the Biblical Pastors out there have gone????

      • Greg, not only are you a bigot, you are a coward. You can’t even post your filth without doing it in anonymous manner. I hope you never have children. And if you already have children, I hope you die alone.

      • When I see religious people using the bible to condemn others I always remember this letter… But, first of all, I have to say that religious people, in the history, have used the Bible to justify their atrocities, they used it to slave people (slavery of black and indigenous people in America), to make profit out the scriptures and salvation; they used it to murder and torture innocent people (witch hunt), to neuter children (los castrati), to prohibit rights to women, and now to prohibit rights for LGBTQ community.

        Regarding the letter, Dr. Laura Schlesinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. She said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, Jack Kent Ashcraft, which was posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative.

        Dear Dr. Laura,

        Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

        I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

        a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

        b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

        c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

        d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

        e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

        f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

        g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

        h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

        i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

        j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

        I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

        Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

        Your devoted disciple and adoring fan,

        Jack Kent Ashcraft

        If You Have read christian Bible will realize that these biblical quotes from Orthodox Jews say the same as those of Christians. And, I think, many religious are inconsistent between the scriptures and their actions, also the Bible has many old ideas that have changed in the history and has many contradictions in many of its writings. As seen, in the above quotes, many activities as slavery are unacceptable and should never happen anymore, as now with discrimination towards LGBTQ community.

        P.S. Sorry if my english isn’t good enough is not my mother tongue.

      • Finally A True Man Of God <3 Oh how everyone putting down the Gay's …Yet they done read the full scripture . They don't understand the fact that God doesn't hate ….Human's hate with a sinful heart . Jesus said it is ok to be angry but Don't sin. In the bible is say "Hate" . Look up the word ! Definition of abomination…it is "Only " vile, shameful, or detestable action, condition, habit, etc. !

        Definition of Hate : dislike intensely or passionately…..Only Human's Hate with extreme hostility ….extreme hostility is a sin ….So there is no way the God will sin and or Hate with ..extreme hostility !

        Proverbs 6:16-19

        16 There are six things that the Lord hates,
        seven that are an abomination to him:
        17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
        and hands that shed innocent blood,
        18 a heart that devises wicked plans,
        feet that make haste to run to evil,
        19 a false witness who breathes out lies,
        and one who sows discord among brothers.

        So now Praise and give Jesus the Glory , Who love's us enough to die and take all of out sins. Don't take Jesus for Granted ….The Road to hell is Wide ! Stop and think ! Walk in Love

      • If a child of yours is made by God to be gay, and you forced them to pretend to be straight and live a lie to somehow gain your acceptance, aren’t you then forcing them to live a lie? And aren’t you then forcing them to sin?
        And if you’re going to list scripture to prove your point, please please please don;t take individual scriptures you’ve been fed on such subject and blindly list them;. produce an actual argument, rather than scripture stripped of its contextual and historical significance. It shows your ignorance and it shows that you will use scripture falsely and ignorantly to promote a fuse, rather than focus on scripture and the actual words of Christ (Christianity comes from Christ and his teachings, not from stripped down, picked out scripture).

      • Greg, I find it ironic that you would suggest a pastor read scripture. Do you really think he has never read it, or that you are sharing some revelation with him? Did it occur to you that perhaps he not only has read it, but has also understood it better than someone without theological training?
        Let me tell you where I stand on this: He is absolutely correct. Why do I say that and what are my credentials? I say it because I have more than 30 years experience researching scripture in the original languages. I began my study into biblical Greek in 1968, when I was still a child, and into Hebrew in 1979. I taught Hebrew on and off for many years. In 1982, I wrote the curriculum that has been used for training new ministers in a small handful of denominations. I studied theology at two Bible colleges, and was ordained in 1981.
        Here are some facts from the Hebrew Old Testament, as compared to English translations:
        >The Hebrew text never even hints at homosexuality in connection with the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. There is not even sufficient evidence that the people outside Lot’s house, who were the entire population of Sodom, not just the men, were in any way interested in having sex with, or raping, the angels.
        >There is no such word as sodomite anywhere in the Hebrew text.
        >In Hebrew, both Lev. 18:22 & 20:13 make reference to “a woman’s bed.” One of the earliest English translators, Wycliffe, knowing that in ancient Israel, a woman’s bed was her own, concluded that the verses meant the woman was in her bed, and took the verses to forbid two men from having sex with a woman.
        From the Greek New Testament:
        >The word that has been taken to mean homosexuals in 1 Cor. 6 and 1 Tim. 1 has not always been understood that way. In fact, only in the past 400 years has that meaning become widespread. Paul created this word. The gender of the word is ambiguous, undefined in either verse, and the word is found in no first century writing other than those two verses. It literally translates as “those who lie with males.” As early as the second century, one writer understood the word to refer to women who make their living by having sex with men.
        So how do we know what Paul meant? We weigh the evidence. Biblical Greek had no word for homosexual. But it certainly did have commonly understood expressions to refer to sexual relations between two men or two women. Paul never used any of those expressions in his epistles. So if Paul intended to refer to homosexuals, why would he create a new word that his readers would have trouble understanding that way, instead of using a commonly used expression they would know and understand? And since, as a Roman citizen, Greek was his native language, and he knew the grammar, why would he create the word with an ending that could be either masculine or feminine? By simply changing one letter of the word, he could have clearly defined it as a masculine noun.
        But why create a new word for prostitutes? There actually is a legitimate reason for him to do so. The ancient Greek word for a prostitute began with the root “porn.” Female prostitutes (plural) were “porne,” while male prostitutes were “pornoi.” This usage predates the New Testament by centuries. But since languages evolve over time, by the time of the first century, this root had expanded in common usage to refer to any sex outside of marriage. Thus it had come to mean fornicator(s), and Paul did indeed use the word. But some could argue that it did not include prostitutes, because that was an occupation, and in fertility cults, was also a form of worship. By creating a word to refer to women lying with men, in an illicit sense, Paul covered any potential loophole. (Note that male prostitution existed primarily in the fertility cults, and was always heterosexual… they only had sex with female worshipers.)
        >Jude 7 says nothing about “strange” flesh in the Greek. It refers to “other” flesh
        (sarkos heteras), and the word for flesh is also the word for meat. Since there is no reference to homosexuality in Sodom in the Old Testament (nor in the Mishnah, pre-Christian Jewish Bible commentary), there is no reason to try to associate other flesh with homosexuality… or ANY sexuality… since fornication was already mentioned. But cannibalism was known to exist in parts of Canaan, and was probably in Sodom. Going after other meat could be a reference to that.
        >There is nothing wrong with the translation of Romans chapter 1 in most English Bibles. The problem is that Christians today almost universally fail to consider the historical context of the scriptures, and frequently come away with the wrong ideas. Paul was writing to first century Rome about things that were going on in first century Rome. And if we don’t know what was going on in first Century Rome, specifically, then we set ourselves up for confusion. Just because something Paul wrote about in an epistle might, on the surface, appear to be the same as something we know today, that doesn’t mean it really is the same. The fact is that the Greco-Roman world was pretty much unfamiliar with the concept of two men or two women forming lifetime exclusive relationships. They had a very precise view on human sexuality, which was based in their religion, specifically their creation story. And that view held that both exclusive homosexuality and exclusive heterosexuality were abnormal. All people were expected to live in a way we would describe as bisexual, regardless of their actual orientation. There were rules about how this worked, so they weren’t just running around having sex with everyone.
        The problem with their custom/belief is obvious: most people, by nature, are not bisexual, but heterosexual. So the overwhelming majority of people had to go against their own instincts to meet the expectations of society. If they found that distasteful, they viewed themselves as flawed, not the expectations of society.
        Paul addressed this from the perspective of the heterosexual majority, for whom same-sex relations were unnatural. He said that what they were doing was “against physis.” That’s a Greek word usually translated as nature. But unlike the English word nature, it does not have more than one meaning. It cannot mean nature as in the world, the creation. Rather, it refers to a person’s OWN nature, their native instinct or disposition. In other words, Paul was referring to their sexual orientation. Think that straight people wouldn’t have gay sex to fit in with society? For much of the past few centuries, gay people have been forced to hide, often in heterosexual marriages, just to stay alive and function in society. People do what they think they have to do.

      • Greg – My wife and I learned our daughter is gay almost two yeras ago. If a person has not yet learned their child is gay it’s VERY easy to say harsh things and pray it just goes away. Once you are there, knowing your child is gay, it’s another story altogether.

      • I find this amusing. I have a lesbian daughter who is the most loveable, wonderful person you could imagine. She is intelligent, a college graduate, successful and a role model for her community. Never been in trouble in her life and has many friends and leads a moral, active, normal and healthful life. You are not going to believe this, but I actually had a friend who told me that she was “glad that her son only ended up in prison, but wasn’t gay like my child.” Friend anymore? Of course not. I just couldn’t believe that she thought her son was better than my daughter because he wasn’t “gay!” Absurd. I am a Christian who has attended church all my life. I love my church because it accepts gays and women pastors. I love my child with all my heart and if anyone I know says anything negative about gays, they are not my friend any longer. They are ignorant! God loves my child and she knows it because she mentions God a lot in conversation. She was raised in the church and has always felt she belongs there. She has not sinned in my eyes or in hers because she is a child of God. Shame on anyone who believes otherwise.

      • I find it extremely sad that people set themselves up a judge and jury over things that are none of their business. God will decide who is to be punished and I firmly believe a lot more people will be punished more for killing and hurting and spreading venom in his name than any gay person will ever be. The bible is interpreted by lay people and was back to the beginning and don’t even get me started on what Constantine the Great did at the First Council of Nicaea. He and other religious leaders basically decided what they wanted to be gospel and took out what they didn’t. Jesus included the women strongly in the church but that all changed after the council was done. I will treat everyone fairly and let God sort it
        all out. I can’t believe that a God who sacrificed his son to save unworthy people such as we are would condemn people who he made with all of their flaws ” in his image”.

      • My question for you is… Do you follow all the laws of the bible? Do you follow ever verse??? I am willing to bet the answer is no…..

      • “…never ending prayer that my child would stop the sinful behavior.” Oh, come on, that’s like praying for your child to stop being dark-haired, or tall, or a girl. Let’s face it: You are putting a book, yes, a mere book, before the welfare of your own flesh and blood – and that, Sir, is what I call a sin if ever there was one.

      • I will be proud of my niece and nephew regardless of their sexuality. If they were a thief or someone who lied constantly, I’d be disappointed in them but I wouldn’t stop loving them. Nobody is perfect – not me, not you and not any person living. Everybody sins in one way or another.

      • I just wannna share my story to all people who thought being gay is easy,
        I`m 20 years old gay young man from a christian family and so I grew up in the words and a fear to God, my grandparents and some of the elders in my family who happen to be a pastors never talk to me about me being gay though I know in my heart they want to tell something but they don`t know how to approch me, some of them make me feel I`m perfect just who I am and some of them they took the other way and use the bible to tell me that what I`m doing is a sin, so I grew up trying to fight what I am only to gain the love and respect, those days I never felt genuine happiness cause I can`t be who I am, so for my entire life I felt like I`ve been missing half of my life. My parents and I never talk about my gender but I know that they knew it so I have been doing all I can not to put my family in shame instead to bring achievements. Last year I wanna give my self a break and so I join an internship program here in USA, for a year now that I have been independent from my parents and away from all haters, for the first time in my life I`ve been very happy cause away from my community I can be who I am and I can do what I want not being discriminated. If only all parents are like Pastor John, then all gay kids wouldn`t need to do what I`ve been doing, “I kept in running cause I`m ashamed of myself or what people thinks about us. ” but now I`m going home soon fully open and I don`t know how my parents would react but no matter what happen I will stop on running and be strong as I can, cause right now what I think God wouldn`t put me through if he knows I`m not strong enought to handle what I am, and everyday I felt God`s presence cause no matter what I do or think or sometimes to something to end myself he is alway there to remind me that he will always love and wouldn`t judge me like those who did already. So to all parents or people who though being gay is a sin, I hope you whouldn`t have a gay kids or a member of your family so that they don`t have to go through or experience worst than what I have been.

        • Johnson, I hope your family accepts you with love and grace, in the true spirit of Christianity. If they don’t, please don’t lose your faith in God – stay strong and find your “real family” elsewhere. Good luck and God bless.

      • I think that God loves each one of us regardless of our sins, but sin is sin to God it doesn’t matter if is robing money or homosexuality which in God’s Word is an abomination to Him. But God is not a dictator and He gave us the freedom of choice and each one of us has to make a choice about following God’s Word and His promess of salvation or following the world and its humanistic teachings and end up in the wrong place. Still even if we continue sinning God’s love for us never stops.I also have family members that are lesbian and gays but I still love them because they are my family. Now it is their decision if they want to follow God’s teachings or walk away from Him but there is always consequences that will affect their eternal life

      • I’m sorry but I’m a conservative and a Christian and I think SINFUL behavior is using God’s name and teachings as weapons to criticize social change. SINFUL behavior is internalizing the Devil’s hate for love and commitment, and acceptance as a representation of God’s word and love. SINFUL behavior is denying your progeny that God gave you – just as SINFUL as an abortion. SINFUL behavior because you dare tell someone else who they are when God willingly with love and joy created that person and put him on this Earth. YOU DARE to go against the will of GOD then YOU ARE the SINFUL PERSON and YOU ARE the HELL-bound soul.

        • You seem to be an expert on the sins of others, as well as people’s eternal destination, Vince. Seems like you’re assuming the position of God. I imagine that’s a sin as well.

      • 2 Corinthians 5:13-21 (NIV) God made him [JESUS] who had no sin to be sin for us.

        No one, other than Jesus, could live a ‘perfect’ life. It’s simply impossible (the number of verses that could display that is uncountable). Only Jesus could do it, and even then, he took on every single sin that belonged to man kind. Obviously, that doesn’t make it alright to sin, but we are imperfect, unclear, and very, very sinful!

        As for me, if (and I’m sure I will) I have kids, then I would love them regardless of their sexuality. If we look at this from a slightly different perspective, and say my child was born with some sort of disorder, such as DS, I would treat my child with JUST AS MUCH love as I would have done before, as God has presented this child to me, and put it under my care and protection!

      • Very sad, will pray for you Mr. Pavlovitz. God didn’t create a person to sin and then call them to not sin on the same issue. You are taking Psalm 139 completely out of context. Much like adulterers are not born, they are self serving them self within their sin. Yes, they need love and prayer. Very much like yourself, made in your mothers womb, but deceiving others of the true Word.

        • You say they need love and care Shawnea? And that John is preaching sins? So… what exactly should you do if your child is gay, but you do follow God and wish to abide by him? Breaking it down to two choices. Love them, or hate them? Hate them because we’re all too religious, too blind to see that the children we create are actually creations of God. You can argue that they are deformations or what ever, but they are our children. Love them? Take them in, hug them, kiss them, support them. What’s wrong with that?

      • Wow, Greg. I don’t know you. I don’t know your faith. But I see the venom in the words of the posts responding to you, and I pray that you guard your heart if you read any of it. From what I see, all you did was pose the other side. I for one (among many) agree, with at least as much as I see. I can only imagine that perhaps there was more to your post than what is now left on the site because I cannot comprehend the hate that has been dished out towards you.

        For all those who read this post: Greg never (again, from what I read) said this guy was a horrible person or even a horrible dad. He simply questions the truth that John is proclaiming and tries to compare it to the Bible.

        John Pavlovitz, I think it might be helpful if you actually said whether you think homosexuality itself is a sin. Jesus did in fact spell out a few sins pretty clearly. Just as we can’t cherry pick the judgmental verses and base our entire faith on those, we also can’t cherry pick the nice-sounding verses and only preach on those until our pews and our pockets are full.

        Yes, God created us. No, God doesn’t make mistakes. The Bible is also clear that we all have sin and need to repent. We can of course love our children, but we still have to teach them to repent. One HUGE issue here that hasn’t been discussed much is that I can love my children who acknowledge same-sex attraction, but I can teach them to live within the framework of God’s holiness. Do we sometimes fail? Yes, but we have God’s standard to keep coming back to, to keep defending, to keep living, and by His grace, those who repent (of ALL their sin/sins) and follow Jesus by faith will indeed overcome.

        You might say, “But no one will ever be ‘cured’ of homosexuality, because they are what they are.” In this life, I’m not entirely sure that I disagree with you, although anecdotally there seem to be some who have managed to overcome, even in this life. But in heaven, even Jesus explained how we will not marry or be given in marriage. He says we will be like the angels. In my mind, it appears he’s saying we will indeed be ‘cured.’ Incidentally, I believe we will be ‘cured’ of all sin. That’s one of the huge benefits of being with the Father in heaven.

      • It’s so refreshing to see a pastor write such a thoughtful post.

        Well Greg, if that’s the biggest problem you have, consider yourself blessed. There are parents who have children who are dying and probably would care less what their sexuality is to have more time with them.

        How exactly would you stop your child from being gay? Would you constantly remind them of their “sin”? Would you like it if someone constantly called you out on something? It doesn’t sound like you would truly love your child if you would pray to change them.

        I recommend reading this article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/linda-robertson/just-because-he-breathes-learning-to-truly-love-our-gay-son_b_3478971.html

      • Greg,
        You are a Christian religious fundamentalist terrorist! You have declared a criminal form of jihad on children who are created by a kind and loving God. You are no better than the religious fundamentalist terrorists who use the Muslim religion to defend their death and destruction. You are using Christianity to cause death and destruction with your words and actions against the LGBT community. Shame on you! You are the epitome of ignorance in your understanding of these precious human beings. If you think being an LGBT person is a choice, you are just plain STUPID. Who would choose a lifestyle that brought hatred, death, criticism, loneliness, violence, and many other forms of suffering to their lives? The clear answer is no one. You use bible verses to state your case. I can quote plenty of bible verses that you wouldn’t like very much. But, you probably haven’t read the verses I would quote to you, or you refuse to admit their existence, or maybe you even interpret them the way that pleases you. You are Satan in a Christian’s body. Hitler hated the LGBT community also, and look what happened to him. No true Christian would ever speak the way you do about these special children of God. I hope that someday you will experience Karma in a very painful way, the same way you have dished out pain to others. What goes around, comes around, Greg. Better take a good look at the pitiful human being you are now, before it is too late. Hopefully God will forgive your hateful and destructive sins.

      • Sorry this is your experience and persecution style of the LGBT human being. I am GAY and a PASTOR’S SON. This hit home and for the first time in my life, I felt genuine love from a Christ following Pastor and servant of his light.

        I am not here to change your mind, but instead to say thank you to Pastor Pavlovitz. Thank you for being a true man of Christ and not a doctrine. Let me repeat, I am GAY, not by choice as I would not have chosen such a hard life of discrimination, harassment, rejection and public humiliation on the alter when the whole church congregation made me feel like a disgusting ungodly man.

      • You’re a piece of sh#+, Greg.

        (Note from John: Please try to avoid personal attacks. As much as we disagree with people here, I’d like retain decency toward everyone. Thank you.)

      • I’m confused a little by responses here, responses in my own town, across my state, country and the globe. I’M CONFUSED. Plain and simple.

        The Old Testament is revelation and law from God covering about the time from the creation of the earth to the time of Jesus’ death on the cross. The New Testament is revelation and law from God covering about the time from Jesus’ birth to His (future) second coming. It tells us that His Son, Jesus, came, lived, died, and arose so that believers on Jesus as the Christ might have eternal life. The New Testament also tells us, by both command and recorded example how we are to worship God today. The Old Testament was preparatory, temporary, and limited. The New is complete, eternal, and universal. The Old Testament promised a New Testament (Jer. 31:31). The prophet Isaiah spoke of the days to come when the new law would go forth from Jerusalem (Isaiah 2:2-4). In the New Testament, the Apostle Paul stated that the law of Moses had been given until the seed, which is Christ Jesus, had come (study Galatians 3:19-27).

        The New Testament is the will of Christ, its seal is Jesus’ blood (Hebrews 9:15-17). The testator of this will is Jesus, God’s Son. The inheritance is heaven. The terms are faith and obedience. The period of probation is the Christian age which will end when Christ returns. The beneficiaries are all men who accept the terms, and the executors of the will are the apostles.

        This will could not come of force until Jesus’ death, “For where a testament is, there must of necessity be the death of him that made it” Hebrews 9:16. Jesus’ death marked the end of the old and the beginning of the new, for, “He taketh away the first that He may establish the second” Hebrews 10:9. Christians are discharged from the law and joined to Christ (Romans 7:4-6).

        Since the time of the cross, even now in this Christian age, men live under the law of Christ rather than under the Law of Moses as in the Old Testament times. (John 1:17). Christ fulfilled the Old Covenant (or Law of Moses), nailed it to His cross and ended it there. (Study Luke 24:44 and Col. 2:14). Thus no portion of the Old Testament binds us today; even the 10 commandments have been replaced by better requirements. To illustrate this statement regarding the seventh commandment, where Jesus (during His sermon on the Mount) commanded, “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart”.

        To return to the old law, that is, to bind parts of the old law on Christians is to say that Christ died for nothing (Study Galatians 2:21). It is to be severed from Christ and fall from grace (Galatians 5:4), it is to return to sin and death (Romans 8:2), it is to sink back into perdition (Hebrews 10:39).

        The following are some comparisons between the Old and the New: Death versus Life (II Corinthians,3:6-8). Bondage versus Freedom (Galatians 5:1). The Old was to Jews only (Mal.4:4) while the New is to all men (Matt.28:18-20). Temporal versus Eternal (Galatians 3:19 and Matthew 24:35). Carnal versus Spiritual (Hebrews 9:10 and John 4:23-24). Continued Guilt versus Pardon (Romans 8:2 and Hebrews 9:12-14).

        From the Old Testament comes the inspired record of the creation, the history of man and his need for a Savior, and the wonderful prophecies of Christ. Christians are to recognize the Old Testament as the inspired word of God and use it for learning, for admonition, and for comfort, but they must not, however, use it for their law (study Romans 15:4, I Cor. 10:11). The law we are to follow today consists of Jesus’ commandments, the Apostles’ directions, and the examples of the early Christians as they lived under the direct tutorship of the inspired apostles.

        All these laws, protests, and even you so called ‘good parents’ that judge your children and others for being gay are citing and living under the old law. I don’t see those same people on tv or in the voting booth to stone unwed mothers, eating shellfish, or putting women in leadership. all old testament.

        As Christians it is our responsibility to be ‘Christ like’, love thy neighbor, be a testament of Christ’s love. To believe in the bible is to believe it cover to cover. Doing so you must believe the above. Please post the scriptures from the New Testament a.k.a. the new law where Christ (red letters) said he hated homosexuals and would condone the types of action Hypocritical Christian are professing are in the name of God. Show me good Christians.

      • Greg-How truly sad for your children to have a parent who is so brainwashed by hatred and uses religion as a vehicle for this hatred. Unfortunately, this is learned behavior and the mold doesn’t sound like it was broken in your family. I truly hope that you don’t have a gay child so he/she will never have to feel what it’s like to have a parent to feel ashamed of them and not accepting of who they are. Better yet, I hope you are childless and are sterile.

      • If you can honestly point to another, any other, group of sinners, whether they be liars, judgers, haters, the greedy, thieves, those who envy or gossip, adulterers, the divorced, god’s name in vain users, idolators etc. etc., and show me how that group of sinners is routinely denied inclusion in your organized religion from simple membership in your churches to positions such as pastors or deacons along with being subjected to organized movements within your church that would attempt to deny them rights you yourself enjoy such as the right to marry the person they love, well then, I will gladly listen and consider your point of view might be valid, but I’ll need to see the list of kinds of sinners your church treats in this way. Think about it, if the only group on the list is the lgbt group, you’re probably an unrepentant hypocrite.

      • This is the misunderstanding that kills and is not loving in the least. Have you noticed the difference in the briefs to the supreme court from one side to the other. Your side says essentially “I know God better than you, and because you disagree with me, I deem you null and void–not eligible to make you own decisions, legal contracts or relationship with God, I will force my ideas on you rather than listen to you, get to know you and discern by the results of your actions and how you live, my response to you. This idea erases you as much as me, leaving us with scripted war roles rather than the parent child relationship, leaving me abandoned and unseen unheard and alone. This calls my core a sin–my Love of a God greater than you can see at this moment in time, a sin, my Love for myself and my integrity, a sin, my Love of another and the Love we share a sin. This civil rights movement has been taken on by the abandoned and excluded in a Gandhi non violent fashion and many and now more than not have come to see us by our actions. We have won most of America because if you read the Amicus briefs to the supreme court and educate yourself to the results we live with in discrimination of calling a person a sin—–it is horrific that people will exclude their own children from their heart and ears due to what is essentially a religious choice to be in a church where we are seen as Loving and complete and do not have to comply with what is a lie to be allowed to exist, to be allowed to be good. My community celebrates me and my wife of 25 years and our son and I do not need to consult you and nor would your gay child. 50 years of all walks of medical research and professional organization agree, we are healthy and variation of humanity like the many flowers. The other side has “my God is greater than yours and here let me control you and I will allow you back in the fold–the violence off erasure and abuse of power, and now the incitement to violence that comes with declaring Their God is mad and is going to be violent. My religion is simple. Their is GodLove and alignment with this and blessings or their is misalignment and a bumpy road. It is clear to me that my religious freedom is just as valid as yours and that when you exclude my goodness as a human, my Love of my wife and our family, and my God as your “sin”, and claim with pride that you know what is best for all of humanity and all other opinions and religions that disagree with you are invalid, and would exclude your own child this way, you have shown a profound lack of Love and understanding. I pray for your painless awakening that you get to choose for you and you alone, and everyone else chooses for themselves and we all live with the results. So this religion of shunning is on it’s way out because shunning and controlling your own child with threats of excommunication and hell, are not very attractive, when the other side by their actions has inclusion and celebration and family and healing and 50 years of science and no evidence of all the sky will fall control with fear maneuvers. Huge numbers of homeless youth were throw out by their parents of similar language, much more than the population percentage expected–and is driven by just this conversation. A child can not take shunning like an adult. They get their first crush, realize they are dammed and begin auto-self destruct. I was 8. How old were you when you first had a notice of a crush? Suicide also out of proportion to the numbers % in the population. And Christianity has awakened— it is no longer possible to pull off this I speak for all– please stop.

      • That’s right, fall back on your verses you hypocrite. Fall back on your hateful “ifs” and condemnations of a man who loves his children. No one is born bad, no one is born sinful no matter what your book says. Would you condemn a child who’s done nothing? Then you’re a sorry Christian indeed, and not worth another word.

      • The premise you have is that being gay is a behaviour, not a state of being. Is being heterosexual just a behaviour? Or is it a set of attractions that you chose? Or is it something that is so intrinsic to you that it cannot be changed? Being gay is not a choice, a menu option, something that someone has an opportunity to accept or reject – any more than a baby accepts or rejects the “sex” that they will be perceived of having by the sexual equipment they “choose” in the womb.

        G-d supposedly does not make mistakes. Yet, some babies are born with both sets of genitalia, and some are born with one set of genitalia and a conflicting set of chromosomes. Science shows us that even gender is not as cut and dry, male and female, as some would like us to believe. Thus, did G-d screw up? Did he make a mistake?

        One has a choice here – accept that G-d has a broader view of what makes us human (as evidenced by the broad spectrum of gender options as well as our skin tones, eye colors, heights, weights, and everything else that makes us human)… or insist that G-d makes mistakes.

        I choose to embrace his creation – all of it.

        That does not mean that I have to accept immorality. However, my definition of immorality is likely different than yours. Mine comes down to morality being what is best for all concerned in any given situation (to the best of my ability to discern that)… and immorality is doing that which ignores the best for other parties concerned and looks to my own best interest instead. (One sometimes has to look out for oneself… but one should still do so with an eye for the best interests of others as best one can).

        “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, and so fulfill the law (teachings) and the prophets” (somewhat paraphrased). Jesus was serious about that, because the “law (teachings) and the prophets” is designed to teach us how to consider others. That’s the whole point of the Torah (G-d’s teachings and instructions, termed “the law” in Greek for cultural reasons). The ONLY way to fulfill the “law” (the teachings of G-d) is to live by them. To consider the best interests of all concerned in any given situation. If one is legalistic, one adheres to the letter of the law (which kills); the spirit of the teachings give life. (Do you see the difference now? In English, a “law” is a rule; in the Hebrew, one is discussing a teaching. Treating a teaching as a law makes it hard, unbending, cruel; looking to it as a teaching allows mercy and grace). If one believes that the teachings of G-d are true, then one needs to look to see how “doing unto others” fulfills those teachings… that’s a quest worth having. Ihope you seek the teachings of G-d, and the mercy and grace that go with them.

      • Matthew 6:14-15
        14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

        Paula’s comment are odd. Yes, sin is sin, and we are all sinners. But it sounds like Paula is suggesting that the pastor shouldn’t love his children unconditionally. I think that’s sad — for Paula.

        • Stephanie…we ar not to judge others. Jesus loved everyone when he walked the Earth…we are ALL his children and when each of us faces our judgement day…the One who has the only right and authority to judge, our Heavenly Father, will do that. I have 5 beautiful children…before he came out to us, one of my sons had attempted suicide because of his fear of coming out and not being accepted and I am sure many other things…I didn’t know this until he came out to me and my ex-husband, his dad. The day he finally came out to me was a beautiful day in my life and I believe his. You see, I love all five of my kids with unconditional love. I won’t judge them for anything they are or desire or believe in because we are all given free agency by our Father in Heaven. I am not a deeply religious person in the aspect that I very rarely attend a church. I believe God’s church is nature and it is quite amazing how much I feel Him and His Son taking a walk and looking at all He created for us. When a person is gay or bi-sexual or whatever…it has been PROVEN it is NOT a choice they make…they are truly born that way…we are all BORN “THAT” way…we are who we are. God knew us in Heaven and he knows us here (in Heaven before we were born). I personally believe that the Bible verses that those who hate gays and judge them harshly don’t have anything to do with being gay…yes, there are New Age Bibles translated that use modern terms…but MAN made those, NOT our Heavenly Father. And for the sake of this post and my points…let’s pretend it is a sin to be gay…how does it hurt you? It will only hurt the sinner of ANY sin in the end…If your next door neighbor is gay…so what? It isn’t affecting you unless you make it YOUR issue. This is still a free country…not as free as it once was…but still is…live and let live and Stephanie…you are not free from sin, I am not free from sin, so clean up your own backyard and if you ever get that perfect…then maybe you can try to fix the world you see wrong too…but that won’t happen because we are all just human…that is all…and if one of your children is gay—ask them if they grieve that and if they need you grieving it….my guess is they will say, “No Mom, don’t grieve…I am who I am, love me as I am. You are my mother…unconditional love mom.” or something to that affect. Don’t expect they to feel as you do about their being gay. No one chooses it…as one of my gay friends told me once…he said, “I jut don’t understand those who thing we choose to be gay because that means I am choosing to be called horrible names, to be treated like a leper, to be harassed and to be in misery at how how I am treated just pumping my gas at Kwik Trip.” Is it okay to go out of your way to walk past someone who you THINK is gay pumping their gas, look at them with pure disgust and hatred, and say, “F….ing Faggot!” Breaks my heart that someone could be that horrible…you see…I see that person as the one who is CHOOSING to be a mean, horrible, unkind, judgemental person and his actions are much worse because he IS choosing…the gay man pumping his gas is born a gay man and he is minding his own business pumping his gas. Jesus was sent here to be an example to us…would He do what that man did? Not a chance…He is LOVE.

          James 4:11-12 – Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of [his] brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not are of law, but a judge.

          Matthew 7:5 – Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.

          Matthew 7:1-2 – Judge not, that ye be not judged.

      • Exactly Greg!
        This is NOT religion. Religion includes all facets of life such as “tough love” and that requires TRUTH. God gave us scripture to teach us how to love AND how to judge. We aren’t allowed to condemn but we can judge or why would we have the 10 commandments. We are commanded. Covering up the truth is not doing your children a service AT AL and this pastor is woefully wrong. Not only that, he got Psalms 139 wrong.

        • I just want to make sure you know the Ten Commandments doesn’t have a single word in it that relates to same sex love nor for that matter same sex attraction or sex. So your referencing makes not sense. In fact considering it covers almost everything else one might say it is an argument that says Same Sex Love is Just Fine with God.

      • Greg I will pray for you! Lord I pray For this man… Help him and guide him… you know what is needed for him. May his words be kind and gentle!

      • My God is a loving God who created all of us in his own image. He made us just the way we are. God also says not to judge unless we want to be judged. As a christian you can’t pick and choose what scripture you want to follow and what one’s you don’t. My son turned to drugs rather then come out as a gay man. He came very close to killing himself. As a Christian mother who was always very close to my son was at first shocked. As I had friends talk to met, I remembered what I learned in church. That God LOVES all of us and that he made us exactly how he wants us. I told my son that and expressed to him that I am not assumed of him. He is the same young man I gave birth to and played catch with and had long talks with. My son is so much happier and not on drugs anymore. There is nothing better then seeing my son happy and smiling again. If you truly love your child and they are GAY. You can not pray the GAY away. You will make your child so unhappy that you are not accepting of them and they will live a very unhappy life. Maybe turn to drugs or commit suicide. I can’t imagine you would think that would be God’s will. GOD IS LOVE!!!

        • Apparently, there are Christian people out there who have no idea what “unconditional love” actually means…

      • Amen Greg. I was believing that in God’s Word too. A pastor giving an ok for sin? Wow…my children will not become gay nor born gay because bible says God created us in His image(Genesis 1:26). Is this pastor saying God is gay?! Also God’s Word says raise your children in the way of the Lord(Proverbs 22:6). This is not an attack either…this is truth with discernment in the Spirit of God.

        • You apparently need to read Matthew 7:1-6. One doesn’t choose to be gay , bisexual, lesbian or transsexual. One is born one. I being a transsexual bisexual I struggled for years trying so very hard not to be one because of the lies I was told by my old church which by the way was a Church of Christ or as I call them now Church of Control. You simply want to control people to live their life by your standards so you be comfortable which is bull ***t. You also need to take a look at John 8:7 too.

      • I think I am learning that most people post comments on sites like this, with its really excellent commentaries from Pastor Pavlovitz, just to state their existing position, rather than to debate and learn from what others might believe or have experienced. And even, maybe, amend their views a little. I am genuinely hoping to get perspectives from others, including those who may not agree with me, and my support for the tone and content of Pastor Pavlovitz’s work here.

        I am struck by people who say that gay men and lesbians have “chosen” the (sinful) life(style) they lead. Let’s just assume that human sexual response can just be broken down into a physiological and an emotional response. Research has been done into the physiological response. For example:
        http://elitedaily.com/news/world/homophobic-men-aroused-gay-male-porn-surprised/

        In a TV programme shown in the UK (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8aMdexrPW0&index=5&list=PLwAvJ6Mic4BOJzIsd3tw10fDwuEvU8mkh), Dr Christian Jessen took the physiological tests, that showed he was pretty much 100% gay- his body responded to images of men and not to images of women. So do those who speak of “choice” mean choosing to be stimulated by thoughts or images of your own sex, or choosing to act upon it?

        If advocates of it being a “choice” mean the former, when and why is this choice made? And when do straight people make the choice to be physically responsive to thoughts or images of the opposite sex?

        I believe there has not yet been an instance of a successful candidate of “reparative therapy” (an “ex-gay”) who has been prepared to take an independently-monitored physical test to show that they are now re-programmed to respond physiologically to the opposite, rather than the same, sex- even those who have subsequently married a member of the opposite sex. So what is the evidence that physiological sexual response can be changed- the “choice”, once made, can be reversed?

        If the “choice” is rather: “you had no choice about what elicits a sexual response from your body, but if you choose to act upon it, it is a sin”, that leaves me somewhat breathless. Let’s add the emotional dimension of a relationship here. So a heterosexual couple can flourish within the “succour that the one ought to have of the other”, but a person who had no choice about their physiological response must do without this for a lifetime. Or do people really believe that a heterosexual relationship is made up of a myriad of shared experiences on so many different levels, and a homosexual relationship is just about a sex act? Of course, the sex act I’m hinting at here, it seems, is assumed to be performed by all gay men. The fact that many gay men do not do it, and some straight couples do, seems to be irrelevant. But then, lesbians (probably) do not do it, and they are criticised nonetheless.

        I believe that, in the same way that lack of acceptance and validation can drive homosexual people to kill themselves, it can also drive them to seek acceptance and validation in a heterosexual marriage. If I were in a heterosexual marriage, I would prefer that my spouse desired a full and authentic physical and emotional relationship with me, and was not denying any part of their true nature in any way.

        If you believe being gay or lesbian is not a person’s “true nature”, please try to identify for me any instances where a person has been (independently) tested to be similar to Dr Christian (100% gay), then, having undergone some kind of treatment, has been re-tested and proved to be a “full-blooded heterosexual”.

      • Greg-

        First. I did not mean to like that cherry picked comment. Those verses you listed? Romans 1:26-27 refers to idolatry- their ‘lusts’ were God’s own intervention, as is stated explicitly. ! Corinthians 6:9 refers to Believers having lawsuits amongst each other- 6:7-8 ‘7 The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated? 8 Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, and you do this to your brothers and sisters.’- it has NOTHING to do with homosexuality. 1 Timothy 1:9-10 literally has NOTHING as well to do with Homosexuals, but of those who explicitly go out of their way to defy God. And as the final example in your cherry picking, Jude 1:7, perhaps you should read about the sins of Sodom and Gamorrah.. The things that those words refer to for us are NOT the same in the ancient vocabulary. Instead of making an assumption, and spreading false knowledge (which is a sin in itself) perhaps you should better educate yourself on the bible and it’s wording. You assume far too much. And in those assumptions you lie to others and mislead even yourself. You have not done any background on the verses you selected to ‘prove’ your point. The only thing you have proven is that you have no idea what the bible says.

        God himself hard wired each of us in the womb. What person would choose to be mocked and ridiculed? To be threatened, and, in some cases, murdered? Being within the LGBTQ community is a hard life. It is not an all inclusive, easy rider lifestyle. It is fear walking down the street. Fear talking to one’s own family. It is pain, and hurt, and self doubt. It is taking years to love yourself in the same way that ‘normal’ people do. It is HARD. People like you with their cherry picked bible verses, armed to the teeth with ignorance and judgement are NOT doing the work of God. You are doing the work your own devil searches to place. You are the embodiment of judgement, of condemnation that is not yours to give.

      • I thought what was written was beautiful and I cried as i read it this morning. I have been up for over 30 hours at this point. I always knew my son had tendencies that caused him to be different. He was sweet and caring but I’ve never known him to be interested in girls. The first place that I took him was to church and I dedicated him to God. He worked in church from the time he was old enough and sang on the praise team. He loved God with his whole heart but this praying continuously for this terrible burden to leave him wore him down. I know that it is sin and I have told him so but I have also told him that I loved him no matter what. I finally heard the words come out of his mouth yesterday that he was gay. He has given up and given in. My heart fell out of my chest. I noticed that you said that “If’ you had a child that was gay. I have dealt with many sad things in my life but this is the worst and believe me I have suffered greatly with my children. It is the last days. I know how he feels because my love for my child is so strong. He is 19 years old and has been living with his older brother for about 7 or 8 months now. He is running from the truth and just wants to live his life. I can hardly breathe. I am afraid for the pain that he is going to endure. I am sad for the loss of what God has planned for him. The natural love of a woman, the grandchildren that we may never have from him and he is so good with his nieces and nephews. I don’t know if I can live through this. I do agree that we have to pray and do anything that we can to get them out of this but I have been praying for years. I raised all of my children in church and have done all that I know to do. Please pray for my son that God would turn his heart back to him and convict him. Satan is the father of lies and he’s out to get our children. No matter what we do, once the go to work and get out in the world they will meet people that will tell them that everything that they have been taught is wrong. The hardest thing is seeing how much he has changed from the son that I knew. Leaving our home and the covering of christian parents made it worse. He has been in pain for such a long time from this struggle. It is a devil’s lie but it hurts just the same. Please keep our family and especially in your prayers. I don’t know how old your children are but there are so many things that they have to go through today in this world. God loves the sinner and hates the sin and that’s what we do because we love them so much. Seeing this happen to your child is absolutely the worst thing that I can imagine. There can be nothing worse and it is the hardest stronghold to break. I cried as if he had died last night until I was actually sick from grief. I pray you never have to face this kind of situation. It will turn you inside out.

      • Greg, you missed it.
        This pastor didn’t describe any “behavior”. He describes the arrival into a family of a much-wanted, squeezable, lovely, chubby baby who is BORN fearfully and wonderfully made, and begins to realize, even in the very young years, that they do not have the same feelings as you do.
        These children are not “less than”. I hope you never have a child like this; because surely you would drive them to suicide.
        —A loving grandmother

    • Thank you for understanding this. I have a wonderful son who tried everything to be straight since he was a Christian. He came out in college and thought his father and I would disown him because we are Christians. He was so wrong. We love him so much and we let him know it right away. Our relationship has been awesome. However we have many “Christian” so called friends that continue to tell us how our son is going to Hell. Needless to say our Christian friends that loved my son from birth still love him and accept him as he is. It makes me sad that we as Christians would rather judge than love each other. I love this article so much I will repost it on my facebook. My daughter posted it first. My children love and accept each other just the way they are.

      • the problem here is that the pastor doesn’t trust God,
        the Bible teaches that a “couple” to marry is one man and one woman,
        then sex is for the married couple,
        sex in ANY other relationship is perverted sin,
        so trust God He says that homosexuality is a sin all thru the Bible and because homos cannot marry and then cannot have sex,
        homosexuality is then rebellion against God and His Word and His plan for marriage and family,
        God says so and if you care for someone you will help them OUT of sin not help them gloss over it,
        helping someone recognize their sin and repent is not judgement,
        homosexuality is a a curable mental/emotional disorder it is not genetic that is a satanic lie that Christians have accepted,
        to have these feelings is a sign that you should seek help, to give in to these feelings with action is sin,
        to promote and justify these actions is very ungodly and anti-Christian,
        trust God not an ungodly culture

        • I am a Christian & truly believe that God’s answer to those who are making adverse comments here would be “It is your place to Love as I have taught you to Love. It is my job & mine alone to judge.”
          Many responses here that criticise the pastor are refering to homosexual acts as sinful. The pastor, in his blog, makes no mention of such ucts only of his love to his children if they were gay. It is a huge leap to assume that if a person is gay then they are practicing ‘gay’ sex. Many ‘straight’ young adults remain pure whilst single. We are all sinners. There are only 6 verses in the bible that address this issue and how to deal with it as a Christian. There are many hundreds coaching us against greed, wealth & surrounding ourselves with material things. I am sure God is more concerned with the fact that 600 children EVERY HOUR die of preventable starvation than what someones sexuality is. Every one of us falls short of God’s example & yet he still loves us unconditionally. If we do NOT love our children unconditionally are we not putting our judgement on our children & putting it above God’s judgement?

      • I said that you do not trust God because you do not believe Him when He says sexual sins are actually sins which means they are bad for individuals and society,
        homosexuality is bad just like adultery and fornication,
        they are bad responses to emotional problems in life,
        we are to be the light that leads people out of sin and into a right relationship with God, not condone rebellion against God with an abnormal lifestyle,
        God can and will change them if they allow the change just like any other sin,
        God DID NOT MAKE THEM GAY,
        they gave in to sinful desires instead of seeking help

        • I disagree. And the great thing is; neither of us has the market cornered on Truth. Guess we’ll all find out eventually. In the meantime, I’ll err on the side of love and relationship over judgement… Blessings.

        • Dazell, God makes us all. Our children are a gift from God. You do not trust God, for all of this, is his plan, and we are all in his hands. We are to Love God, Love others, period. We are to Love in life, and GOD will judge in death. Jesus died on the cross for ALL of us. Each person must form their own relationship with Christ, including you. I know I do not want to be judged because I did not allow some one to seek Christ, on his own, and in his time. It is a journey, and we are all a work in progress, including you. God is working on you right now. Rest in his grace and just love, for that is what we are to do. We want all to become born again Christians, and then the work, and God’s work, can begin. It really is simple. Stop cherry picking scripture, we are not to do that either. That my friend, is in the Good Book too.

          Be Blessed.

          Read Torn, Justin Lee
          Movie, Prayers For Bobbie

      • you disagree with what?
        that adultery is a sexual sin and is distructive to families?
        that fornication is wrong?
        if you claim that homosexuality is ok then you disagree with God, I am only revealing God’s Word to you,
        and I didn’t say to judge gays, God already did that and He said to get your life straightened out,
        He told the woman caught in adultery (John 8) “I don’t condemn you to death, GO AND SIN NO MORE”
        if you agree with Amy that the Bible is just a book written by men then you can’t claim ANY promise from God’s Word,
        that lie makes the whole Bible worthless- anyone can disregard any verse that they dislike and that makes them out to be god instead of God,
        God isn’t who you say He is and He isn’t who you want Him to be, He is who He is and you have to read His Word to find out who He is and what He requires and then BE HONEST,
        you need to stop lying about God, He set up marriage and family, when you misrepresent that you are against God and His plan,
        you can be “for” homosexuality and promote it but do not call it Christian,
        Christianity says “I’m sorry you have a problem, we will help you out of it”,
        trust God He knows best

      • thanks for posting my comments,
        I stand for the two things that are eternal, God’s Word and the souls of people,
        I want people to know and love God’s Word so they will not live in rebellion to God but instead remove sin that comes between us and God,
        I hope you will really consider what I wrote to you

      • Samantha I’m way past sick of the idiotic “judge not” comment or the “who are you to judge”,
        saying these phrases is not a get out of jail card, it doesn’t really excuse sin,
        it is someone who is uncaring or lazy that lets people live in a destructive lifestyle and does nothing,
        tough love is honest and takes the effort to help someone to realize that they are destroying themself,
        if you try to intervene in a drug addicts life to help them and they yell “judge not” are the drugs still killing them or not? do they still need to get off of drugs?
        if someone steals your car and they are caught and you meet them and call them a thief can they just yell “judge not” and then they are innocent?
        “judge not” comes from the sermon on the mount where Jesus says “judge not….more harshly then you want to be judged” people do not read the whole verse,
        the teaching is about hypocrisy,
        we as Christians are to tell the truth to help others know the truth so they can be set free,

        Proverbs 11:30
        The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, And he who is wise wins souls.

        Galatians 6:1
        Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted.

        homosexuality is sin- help people know Christ and be delivered from their sins- our current culture is wrong they want to change the definition of marriage and family, we need to trust God and spread His Word,
        our culture is trying to erase Christ and one way is thru the homosexual lobby,
        we need to be truth and light

      • Thank you for this post. I know I should never read comment sections on these articles but saw one of the first ones and just started getting more and more upset. After posting it I saw your comment under mine and it cooled me down/cheered me up quite a bit. I stand by my comments on disliking and not trusting the religion but its nice to know that there are people that put loving others (the way they are and not having rules on how much you love them), your own children especially, above anything else.

      • Rachel- Do NOT go lumping the Jewish people into this. In no way, shape, or form is intolerance of people a Jewish trait. You make yourself sound ignorant when you even intimate thing like that, by lumping all believers in the Old Testament into an intolerant category. I am sure by outing myself as Jewish, my remarks may be discounted but that really doesn’t matter. What matters is that this pastor has the guts to stand up FOR his children and let them know that they are loved no matter what. How many of us, in our lives, have been given unconditional love, even by our own parents? How many of us have worried that something we’ve done will alienate our parents from us? The pastor’s children will grow up knowing that their father will love them no matter what. He may to agree with everything they do but his love is always there.

        People spend so much time worrying about what others will say about their lives and blaming in on G-d and Scripture and Heaven and Hell. From all of my New Testament readings (I know, shocking, I’ve read the entire thing),Jesus, who was a Jew, btw, appears to be tolerant and loving and spent a lot of time asking for people not to judge each other. Many of the Christians I have met over the years (but thankfully, not all) spend more time condemning others in the name of religion than actually trying to get beyond their fear, prejudice and need to be holier than everyone else. Luckily, that is balanced with fine Christian people who embrace the teachings of Christ.

        If you are so concerned with only the “hereafter” for your child you will miss the here and now for the extremely short time G-d grants us in this world. That’s the real shame of all of this.

      • Dazell, you seem to know exactly what God wants. Are you His right hand man (or woman)? Do you follow all of his teachings every day? I’m more into acceptance these days than discrimination.

        I’m going to pray that one day you are as open-minded as this pastor and others. How do you know that God isn’t working through this pastor to show others love?

        PS- Gay marriage is now allowed in 35 states so I guess you have a lot of sinners to pray for.

    • Greg. It is sad that you judge on assumed ‘behaviour’. This pastor & parent does not glorify sin. He simply glorifies the love he has for his children & the fact that his love for them, like God’s, is unconditional. He will love his children unconditionally, whoever they turn out to be. He states quite clearly, (in promise #3), that he will not love them because of their sexuallity, nor despite it, but for numerous other reasons. I hope you will love your children wholy for, no matter what their sexuality, they are made by God & his children too. As such God loves them unconditionally. May love & peace surround you always. xx

      • Here is my only saying on this.

        First off, the pastor writing this has a HUGE heart and love for his children, we can see that. Regardless of what path your child decides to take in life, it’s there life right? How could you just one day after the years of raising them, laughing, building forts, loving on them etc, braiding their hair etc, just walk away because of a “choice” they made for themselves? We all make bad choices right? I get so tired of other christians always calling out “gays” as being horrible and going to hell etc. Don’t we all lie? Haven’t we looked lustfully at other women/men that are attractive and are married and we are married? If you say no, then you lied so there. 🙂

        You see, I think really the moral of this Pastors story is that we are called to love not only our children, but to love everyone regardless of what they do. Heck I think that’s actually what the Bible says too right? lol We are not defined by who we are, but by “whose” we are. We are all children of God and God loves us GREATLY! When He sees us He sees himself! I mean HELLO, if he didn’t then why did he create us? He created us to have a relationship with him, to love him and walk with him. Just like children with parents. We teach and train our children to walk the right path. To be kind, respectful, have patience, to love others as they love themselves etc. Trust me, reading these comments got me fired up from those throwing out Bible verses. It’s easy to copy paste that stuff or i.e. …be the one to cast the first stone. We all have our issues, make right and wrong decisions and in the end, that’s okay. We should stop putting God in a box and start really seeing Him for who He is. He is a loving, gracious, merciful God. Yes He is just and stands for righteousness, but God loves us regardless of our sin. And get this… He knows our heart. WHAT!!! So who are we to judge someones heart?

        I have a few “gay” friends and my wife has a few in her family as well. No they aren’t Christ followers, but they love BIG and it at times, it really shows me how God loves me. People need to realize that Jesus hung-out with the bad of the bad. He did not just hang with the good for the most of his time here. He wanted to know them and meet them where they were at. Now I will say this, I don’t necessarily agree with all the “He knitted us and formed us perfectly in our mothers womb.” I agree He did do that, but not in the context that some are saying. If that were true, then someone who hurts other people, children etc., are okay being that way and who are we to say it’s wrong right? Others would say no because they are doing something disgusting and terrible. But then again, if God made them that way who are we to choose what is right and wrong? I always get flack for that but it’s a valid statement and can’t be argued really. Think about the discussion….If God made us a certain way then it’s okay. Doesn’t matter what it is someone does it’s okay and we shouldn’t judge. Hmm….

        Either way, how about we all start loving others the way God intended us to and stop judging. We all have our faults and are only saved by grace and not by works. I have a beautiful little girl and the thought has crossed my mind because of how influenced children are from the world. Either way I would love her with everything I have until my dying breath.

        Inclosing, I hope Paster Justin that your children will turn out to be amazing, beautiful children who love God, get plugged into a church and serve Him with their whole heart and worship Him in spirit and truth. That they would show the world His love through what He has done for them and is doing. I pray that for all others readying this as well. God has HUGE plans for you and plans for a future.

        God bless you all and lets start loving instead of judging.

      • Does anyone else feel sick to his/her stomach after reading the comments on this post? Especially the ones calling others horrid names and wishing bad things upon them. Regardless of whether you agree with the content of this post or not, if we actually want to follow what Jesus calls the two greatest commandments (Mt 22:36-40), maybe we should all start practicing that whole “love” thing more often, especially in the words we choose. Just some food for thought.

    • I’m Sitting here reading all the comments with very mixed feelings. I’m a 60 year old gay man who was beaten, and verbally abused as a child for years, for only acting like a sissy (at 5 years old who even knows about “gay.”). I wish my parents would have hugged me and told me they loved me. Instead, I was forced to learn to love myself. It took YEARS to happen; but it did (after living alone and celibate half my life, because it was the Christian thing to do). I now have a wonderful life partner, and I thank God daily for his love, and companionship.

    • As a sinner, I agree that judging others is wrong, however, I also agree that whatever the bible says about sin then that is what it is. If you read the bible to become closer to God thru his son then you read with the knowledge that you are a sinner and that Jesus is your final answer. There is no way around your convictions, however, God takes us and directs us to study and show ourselves approved. We have so much sin in our individual lives that to point at others is useless. We are called to live it, day by day, hour by hour, and to slowly learn that God loved us so much that he would cover our sins. When we sin knowingly that others see us we might be helping that person stumble, so the goal is to understand what is sin and not to pursue it. If we read to learn and grow closer to God then we will not add words or understanding to what we are convicted of in our lives, we will accept it and try to sin no more. I believe we grow closer to God by admitting our sins and once we have truly changed he takes us a step further, if we do not we stay the same and maybe we have our salvation but we miss out on much more. I am not God and truly do not understand homosexuality at all so who am I to judge what God says, however, I personally believe from studying the bible to see what he says that it is sin, so I do not consider it at all a part of my life, but since I was not in that sin before I came to Christ it is not a hurdle for me. So first off each person must study the bible for themselves and then between them and God make a decision about their true relationship with God. It is hard for christians who are trying to live their lives the way God intends to accept something they believe is wrong, when we as a nation decided that it was OK for a women to abort a child we as a nation decided to look at life as something we can control without the need of consulting a God. We became the God of self and so as we move forward anything goes, but as individuals we are now truly left to ourselves to make a choice, so again we must study to show ourselves approved and listen to our hearts defining of our interpretations of Gods direction for our life by studying his word..

    • If you did not have a bible would you really be worried. And think about it, Jesus hung around with 12 blokes and a prostitute. Before you do start I an a devoted practicing Christian who has broken bread with people from all walks of life and religions. Love is love regardless how it presents itself.

    • Being gay DOES NOT mean you are participating in sinful behavior. You cannot change a gay person through prayer just as you cannot change an amputee through prayer. They are who they are!!

      • Chris just praying doesn’t help people with severe emotional/mental/spiritual problems, they need extensive counseling,
        homosexuality comes from gender identity confusion or neglect or abuses,
        They are who they are? does that go for all sins? all conditions?
        ALL sins can be overcome ALL people can be healed,
        Christ can change anyone from anything. There is hope and healing for all. Stop spreading misinformation.
        read the testimony of Christopher Yuan he wrote a book and he is on youtube

      • Dazell Rankin,

        God’s greatest commandment is that of love. God loves unconditionally, and we are supposed to follow his lead. Now you will turn to me and say that you love the sinner, but hate the sin. That is not unconditional love. His greatest commandment is love and honor, and maybe you are pushing this because you are uncomfortable. However, it’s not about us. It’s selfless. We don’t get to decide what kind of relationship others have with God, we are to worry about our own only.

      • Dazell Rankin said, “homosexuality comes from gender identity confusion or neglect or abuses”

        No, it doesn’t. A half-century of medical and psychological research says otherwise. Sexual orientation is innate. No one chooses which gender they’re going to be attracted to. Google: epigenetics, gay straight brain scans, gay birth order studies, gay identical twin studies, in utero hormone research. The medical and scientific proof is overwhelming. Homosexuality (and heterosexuality) is not a choice.

    • Thank you for sharing your views and feelings. Children should be loved and accepted for who they are. I don’t agree with the gay lifestyle, as I have a gay son, it’s not the life I would of chosen for him, but it is who he is and I know, as his mother he was born like this. I knew from the time he was 6 or 7 years old. With saying that, he knows that I still and always will love him unconditionally, no matter who he is with. I did explain to him about the hatred from “normal” people and the unacceptance of his lifestyle from the haters. I do pray that God will keep him safe. He is my heart and he knows I will always be there for him. It’s not for anyone to judge him or any other gay person.. God will do that in the end. I have no control over that. He is a genuinely good person who was raised to be polite and respect people for who they are.

    • I’ve never liked using the world “lifestyle” – especially when referring to someone struggling with same sex attractions. Lord knows, I’ve dealt with them all my life! In fact, I’ve never liked applying any term to any group of people that causes a separation – or compels one to view another human being as any thing less than…a “human being”!

      Today’s society is an extremely competitive one. We are driven and judged by our accomplishments, and we wear our statuses like badges. Unfortunately this value system has made it its way into our congregations — a place where it should NEVER be, and we have thus traded our compassion for “rules” — otherwise known as legalism. I don’t think it is at all too far fetched to observe that the Pharisees and Sadducees have their modern-day counterparts!

      About ten years or so ago — through the power of God Almighty himself, I ceased all participation in homosexual sex. It must be distinctly understood that at this phase of my life, I was so weary of the ongoing war with bible-thumpers and their well-rehearsed litany of “go-to” scriptures, I was hesitant to even let them occupy my airspace.

      It was the belief of the pastor that led me to Christ that believed that is important first consider the physical needs of an individual, before even consider they’re spiritual needs. At that time I was looking for acceptance; I wasn’t looking for a sermon…I’d heard it all before…ad nauseam!

      I sometimes think that Christians — somewhere along the line, forget what it was like to be a nonbeliever; to be an outsider; to be freshly ignorant of the love and redeeming power contained within the person of Jesus Christ. Today, a great many Christians are hard, calculating and apathetic, because of their preoccupation of attending to God’s “checklist”.

      Getting back to “Mike” – the nameless pastor I mentioned earlier: it was he who gave my first glimpse of the bountiful and rich life that Jesus had in store for me. He had taken a special interest in me several weeks before, and I hadn’t told him of any of my “secrets” for fear of being thrown out of the church. I knew at some point I would eventually tell him, but I had to wait until the time was right. At that point, I was a very hardened, and very “out and proud” gay man, and really didn’t care who knew it.

      The day I finally decided to tell Mike about my life, I was ready. I was ready for him to reject me. I WANTED him to reject me so I could have the satisfaction of lashing out at him. His response was simple…

      “Ok…so…I don’t have a problem with that…”

      I was shocked. The man completely stole my thunder! What? Is that it? No turn or burn? You’re not going to recite scripture to me and tell me what a horrible and “un-save-able” person I am? I wasn’t sure how to react. I just knew that I felt an overwhelming peace surround me, and I felt “safe”. For once I was face to face with a Christian who accepted me exactly “as is” with no conditions or expectations thrust upon me whatsoever.

      When my mother could see that Mike was making an impression on me, she promptly “laid down her weapons”, and I was able to just “be me” for a change without hinderance, and feeling that God hated me, or that I wasn’t worthy of His love.

      Mike had a very special way of “smacking you on the wrist” without you feeling like you had been. Mike had the patience to love me right where I was, and slowly teach me about the love of Christ. After several months of being free from Pharisaical attacks, I felt a conviction come upon me still — but remember, this wasn’t a conviction that was prompted by my pastor, my mother, or any other person telling me I had to change. This was a conviction that I felt internally. This conviction didn’t lessen my attraction for men, but it was a conviction that was coming upon me making it painfully obvious that this is not what God intended for my life.

      I tend to think God works in four phases: Desperation, Isolation, Confrontation, and finally Exaltation. Desperation is when God slowly starts to whittle away you, by stripping us of all our earthly comforts, and our “life-lines”. Then He brings us into that realm of Isolation where we are literally backed into His little corner. Confrontation, is when we have come to the “end of ourselves” and our self-reliance, and you are literally smacked in the face with God’s truth, and there are no more excuses; a decision has to be made. Exaltation comes when we fully accept him and his truth and we become new born babies in his arms!

      There are some Christians who seem to have a pedigree ruining their every witness by clobbering people with scripture. Their compassion is — obviously somewhere else, because they can’t seem to get past keeping “the law”. Haven’t they realized Jesus was the fulfillment of that law, and therefore He is freedom from that SAME law. Christians who “calculate” their walk with Jesus is making it a “salvation of works” and not a “salvation of grace” — a gift! How can you work for something that is given to you freely — without price? Plus, do you not realize that nothing you do will ever be good enough to earn what Jesus did willingly on the cross for you over 2000 years ago?

      The need for an “ultimate sacrifice” (Jesus) was already being set up in the old testament. There could be no forgiveness of sins without the shedding of blood – which is why there was the daily sacrificing of lambs in the jewish temple. The lamb represented purity innocence and cleanliness.

      Jesus was a sinless sacrifice, and the only way that could be accomplished was through an immaculate conception through a virgin birth — otherwise, if He had been born son of Joseph, he would be born under the same law as you and I, thus making His sacrifice futile.

      When Jesus went to that cross, He was the ULTIMATE SACRIFICE! He became sin, and took upon his person every sin of this world, past, present, and YES, FUTURE as well! When the word, “Tetelestai” – the single greek work for “It is finished”, was uttered from His lips — it was finished, and it was complete!

      If after you have been saved, and somehow you feel that you have to improve upon – or “add too” what Jesus did on that cross, its like what what he did wasn’t good enough, and that is blasphemous!

      So many people complicate salvation. When Jesus died on the cross, the veil in the temple split right down the middle, allowing ANYONE to enter in. No longer was it restricted to just the Jewish priests who had to go through tedious cleansing rituals before entering, but it was now free to anyone who wanted to gain access. I think that should speak volumes about the “formality” that so many Christians try to maintain, is no longer required!

      In other religions of the world you hear how followers are all trying to “reach up” to their God. Christianity is the ONLY religion where God “reached down” to us in the person of Jesus Christ!

      I remember I heard a guy just the other day talk about how churches aren’t fulfilling the commandment, “Remember the sabbath and keep it Holy”, because the sabbath isn’t really on a Sunday. What so many Christians don’t know is that the ten commandments were created exclusively for the purpose of proving to man that he can’t live without sinning — its impossible! If you really want to get technical, the WHOLE bible is impossible to follow to the letter! If you really step back and look at the bible from Genesis to Revelations, it is really a tedious thing to follow. Just look at the Old testament alone! I feel that it was all in God’s divine plan to orchestrate his word in such a way that its sole, fundamental purpose is to point to its core — its paramount and central figure: Jesus Christ! The only refuge you have — the only “fire insurance policy” available — the ONLY way you’re getting off planet earth alive is through Jesus Christ alone — not by keeping a set of rules!

      As for beating gay and lesbian down with Levitical laws and making them feel unworthy…leave it at the door. It’s getting old people! The definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting a different result…it ain’t workin’, and they aren’t listening!

      If you don’t remember anything else from my spiel, remember this: There was a time when Jesus took you to His bosom with all you’re flaws and ugliness — completely and unconditionally…and just remember…He didn’t HAVE to!

      • AMEN!

        I sincerely hope that you are involved in teaching and/or counseling others in some fashion. There is serious wisdom in your response.

        And this: “It was the belief of the pastor that led me to Christ that believed that is important first consider the physical needs of an individual, before even consider they’re spiritual needs. At that time I was looking for acceptance; I wasn’t looking for a sermon…I’d heard it all before…ad nauseam!”

        Jesus saw and cared about people’s felt needs — physical, emotional, social, etc. I think about him seeing Zacchaeus in the tree and going to his house to share a meal. He ministered to Zacchaeus socially, emotionally, and spiritually. When the sheep are separated from the goats at judgement, Jesus talks about the “sheep” as those who met the felt needs of others (physical, emotional, social):

        “‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’” Matthew 25:34-36

        And your point about the Sabbath made me think of “Jesus said to them, ‘The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath.'” Mark 2:27

        I could go on and on, but I won’t. Ha. I just want to relay that I so appreciated your thoughts. Thank you for sharing them. They are a confirmation. I thank God for your Pastor Mike and how he was the love of Christ to you. No doubt that man is highly invested in the Kingdom of Heaven.

        May God continue to bless you richly, brother.

    • Greg,
      You are not saving your children from damnation you are condemning them to a life of it. Life is difficult enough without the hateful, misguided, unapologetic, negative energy that you fill the world with. If you truly want to make a difference in the world and in your children’s lives, stop being afraid and embrace life with all of it’s wonder, surprises and light.

    • I am a single mom with a gay son and son-in-law. Could not be more proud of them and sooooo! proud to be called mom. It is a genuine great feeling to be connected to this world so many people shun. If more would remember there is only one judge and it isn’t you or me, our two worlds could emerge. Proud mom in Oklahoma.

      • Every child born gay should be lucky enough to have parents like you! Thank you for not only being supportive of others that are different than you, but for sharing your feelings. God and Jesus want us to love each other, and leave the judging to God. Thank you for doing just that!

    • Greg, hang in there and hold fast to what you believe. Do not let anyone make you question what you know to be true. You said yourself you wouldn’t stop loving your child and people completely skimmed over that. Just because you lovingly correct your child because you know God has a better plan for them does NOT mean your love comes with strings attached or that you are hateful. Even if the Bible isn’t especially clear on subjects (although I believe on this one it is), if we have a deep, personal conviction from God that something is sinful, then others really do not have the right to question that. This is such a hard, sensitive issue. I am proud of you for standing up for God, not what the world desires. You and I know we cannot serve two masters, God and man. I am with you on serving God. Yes, that includes loving others and praying for them to repent. Ultimately, they are the ones missing out on God’s greatest blessing and it makes me feel so sorry for them. People seem to only describe God as loving, and yes, he is absolutely loving. I wonder how many if these same people remember he is also a just God? I will be the first to admit that I have just as much sin as anyone else and one sin isn’t worse than another. But I will not backslide in my walk with God by agreeing with what I know in my heart is wrong. Greater is he who is in me than he that is in the world! Let’s pray for everyone, ourselves included. In the end, only God knows our individual hearts, and that is so much more important than what others think, and that is what I am going to focus on. If that offends others, so be it. God bless.

    • Why are so many ‘Christians’ obsessed with SIN, SIN, SIN? They do not follow Christ, the follow SIN! If they followed Christ they would be obsessed with redemption, love and forgiveness – imagine that, loving forgiveness as Christ loves forgiveness.

      • Sin and forgiveness isn’t even the major theme or metaphor of the Bible. It’s Exile and Return, bondage and liberation, sickness and healing.
        Exiling gays can’t be God’s heart, but it’s what the church has done even on the parent and child level.
        These people obsessed with SINS are blind and need to see. Sometime people don’t need forgiveness, they need return and healing. As a church we have a metric shit ton of healing we owe to gays.
        But we can just love the exiled sinner and hate the sin, right? That sounds as stupid to me as love the pizza, hate the toppings.

      • because i remember that I was a sinner before, and I asked GOd to forgive me. And He did.So, I t decided that no matter how great the temptation to sin is, I hold on to Jesus and His name, that I will not sin againn. Alhtoug I am not perfect.so Sometimes, there are times that I fail short.But, Jesus is always ready to forgive. However , i feel like I dont wanna abuse his goodness.That is why, I am always cautios not to sin. However, its not my work that will save me, its Jesus’ grace. Just but it is also important to remember again to keep from sinning.like int he Bible..Jesus encourages us to turn away from our sins and to keep from sinning.Because I love Jesus, I try my best to do just that. and all the rest of His teachings.

    • Although I completely agree with the sentiment, and I don’t mean to make people angry, scripturally, he is completely incorrect. God did not make them that way, feel free to do a study on homosexuality and you will find the truth. I will say though, that yes! we need to love on these people and treat them like Jesus would; with love and compassion.

      Matter of fact, there is no gay gene, there weren’t born this way, scientists have actually mapped out the whole human genome and they did not find a “gay gene”. Suffice to say, it is a choice for each and every one of them, just as much as the choices I make to sin every day.

      My only point is to say, we need to love the sinner, but not the sin, regardless of what culture teaches us. Culture is not truth, the Bible is God’s truth to us, if we sway even a little bit from God’s truth, then we can make the Bible say anything our itching ears would rather want to hear.

      If homosexuality is ok in the Bible, then I can also show you scripture where suicide is ok as well. Love the sinner, not the sin.

      • Actually the science shows homosexuality has an epigenetic origin. It’s not heritably genetic, it’s a change in the genome in the womb which is due to the particular hormonal environment of the woman’s body. It cannot be changed, and LGBTQ people ARE born that way.

        It’s not a choice any more than their skin or eye color is a choice.

      • @Sarah Jones Geer

        Please do not buy into junk science and come to conclusions based upon it. You commit the fallacy of equating correlation and causation, which is a huge no-no in scientific research. The science actually suggests that there is no known cause of homosexual behavior, therefore is cannot be concluded that LGBTQ people are born that way. Behavioral patterns develop over time and can be changed. There is OVERWHELMING evidence that people who had once participated in homosexual behavior no longer participate in it. So blaming a behavior on genetics alone as a means to justify one’s own personal choice is fallacious and morally irresponsible. So if pedophilia turned out to be ‘epigenetic,’ would it be justified? I sure hope not. I believe all people should take responsibility for their own behavior. If their destructive habits and deviant behaviors have psychological or sociological roots, they should be able to receive treatment without feeling condemned by those who think they cannot change. If someone is struggling with Same-Sex Attraction, they need to know that change and healing are possible and there are many counselors and therapists who are more than willing to walk with them during their healing process. Many times, homosexual behavior is linked to some kind of trauma in a person’s life which may have triggered their behavior. Genetics/Biology may serve a minor role in how a certain behavior is triggered but it cannot be confirmed with certainty that genetics is the cause of that behavior. It’s important to examine behavior holistically, keeping in mind that people are morally responsible for their actions and (most) have the ability to make their own decisions. People are not merely products of biology; they have the ability to make personal decisions, deal with and learn from the consequences of their own actions.

        God is in the business of changing people from the inside out. If someone claims to be a Spirit-filled, Bible-believing Christian and denies that God heals and changes people, I would strongly question whether or not they know Jesus. That’s not making a wrongful judgement, it’s stating the Truth. If a Christian struggles with SSA, Gender dysphoria/confusion, that doesn’t mean that their struggles define them. Jesus bore their every sin, past, present, and future, and their true identity is in Christ, His death, burial, and resurrection from the dead. He is also with us in our struggles. We may struggle with the same sins and temptations for a season or for the rest of our lives, but they still will not define us because our identity is in Jesus Christ. The enemy will tempt us and deceive us into believing lies about ourselves and about God, but God has he final word. He made people male and female. That’s the only ‘sexual orientation’ that exists biologically. Gay, Lesbian, Queer, Transgender, etc, are all social constructs and labels created by society. No one is born gay/lesbian/transgender. No one comes out of the womb knowing about sexuality; they are taught by their parents. If parents don’t teach their children clearly on sexuality and gender roles (and why they exist and are beneficial to society), children will grow up extremely confused about their identity and why they exist. The last thing we need is a generation of confused adolescents who cannot even comprehend basic biological facts about who they are and who God made them to be. If someone is born male, then he has a social responsibility to take on the masculine role. If someone is born female, then she also has a social responsibility to take on the feminine role in a given society. This is how God designed men and women to function. Men and women complement one another perfectly. Blurring these clear lines will only lead to more confusion, division, and disorder in the generations to come.

      • Joshua, who are you to say God did not make them that way? Did God tell you that or does a study written by man tell you that? When you Open your Eyes you open your heart and that what it is to be a true Christian. Not one who quotes and judges and tries to get other to believe it is written or there is a study on it. When you write THESE People we are all these people under 1 God.

      • @Katherine Olbeter. You said: “You said no scientist have ever found a gay gene, Did they find a blind gene? Did they find a deaf gene? No, of course not.”

        Nice try. There are hundreds of known genes that cause deafness and blindness. Connexin 26 is one of them, look it up.

        God goes through great lengths to protect the disabled (Blind, Deaf, Mute/Speech Impediments and Handi-capable) in the Bible. Here are a few quotes.

        Leviticus 19:14 ‘You shall not curse a deaf man, nor place a stumbling block before the blind, but you shall revere your God; I am the LORD.”

        John 9 “As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” “NEITHER this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.”

        Put it this way…if being Gay was genetic like deafness or blindness… God would’ve protected them as well. BUT He did not… in fact He found the gay behavior detestable. Why? The lifestyle itself is not physically or mentally healthy.

        • And if you’re bald, god will send down a couple of she-bears to slaughter 42 children for making fun of you.

          (sorry -couldn’t resist)

      • Allie M., can you please post the OVERWHELMING EVIDENCE of the science? I have done some research myself, including a study where 35 homosexual women and men underwent Christian rehab, for 30 days. Only one continues to try and work through his issues. Would you consider a woman as a significant other, wife, lover? of course not, nor would I. but don’t ask someone else, who you have no idea of their biological make up to love another gender they also find completely repulsive. And that’s what it comes down to. Put yourself in their shoes to the demands of society. I love my husband, and if someone told me that was wrong, it would be a long and sorry existence due to people I didn’t even know. Stop already.

      • It’s nonsensical to think there would be one gene that would determine someone’s sexual orientation. The whole “gay gene” meme is only brought up by anti-gay bigots (aka: church goers) to justify their bigotry. By the way, there is no straight gene either. So we should demonize straight people too, right?

        A half-century of medical and scientific research overwhelmingly points to sexual orientation being innate. Brain scan research, birth order studies, in utero hormone research, identical twin studies, epigenetics, pheromone research, and on and on… ALL point to sexual orientation being innate. There is literally NO proof that people choose their sexual orientation. None. I have yet to meet a single straight person who said that they chose to become a heterosexual when they were a teenager. So why would you assume that those straight teenagers would make the choice to become ostracized by people like you? Of course, the idea of a straight person choosing to become sexually attracted to someone of the same gender is laughable. I’m fairly certain that if I offered you a million dollars you wouldn’t be able to “play for the other team” so-to-speak.

        It also might be best to not use the Bible as a scientific journal about human sexuality. Does it really need to be said that it isn’t one? We’ve learned more about human sexuality in the past 50 years than in the entire history of mankind. If you want to pretend that we still live in biblical times, I’d advise you to stop using your computer, your smart phone, TV, car, etc. In 2014 we know that sexual orientation is innate. A 2,000 year old book of faith-based stories is not a credible resource to dispute science.

      • I can only say to you who “choose” to label these acts as against God and sinful and Homosexuals “choose” their sexuality and it is not God given; When did you choose to be a heterosexual?

    • I am leaving this only to make one thing clear. if I could become straight, for years I would have rather been straight then to be gay in this messed up world. there are so many comments on here that say it is a sin. you probably sin atleast 5 times in a day without even realizing it. thou shall not judge. how many people did you look at and judge today? the mother coming out of the club trying everything she can to get through college and feed her child? the mother with 3 children who were being bad at the store? when really she lost her husband in war? look at yourself. you are one of the biggest siners. (this is to everyone who states that being a lgbtq is a sin) for years I would have chosen to be straight. but here I am. 20 years old, living my life, a full time college student who loves herself because it is I who matters. not what every other person thinks.

      my advice to you is, look at yourself. than look at others. you are not perfect, so stop acting like you are!

    • John, I think this is beautiful and even though people will try to break you down or make you feel ashamed, I hope that you will remain confident in your beliefs, because it is love that leads people to Christ. Without the love of Christians I would not be where I am today. Unfortunately I have encountered the conditions of love from some Christian friends simply for agreeing with you and others like you. I think that the hatred that has infected believers will push away many more than the ones being hated. I know people who have walked away because of the hatred. I digress, I just wanted you to have one more encouraging message about this topic because lets face it encouragement can never overflow.

    • Last time I looked, Jesus said to Love Everybody. He made no distinctions between sinner or sanctified. EVERYBODY. I no longer consider myself a Christian due to the personal belief that what is referred to today as Christianity today seems to have somehow ignored the teachings of the Christ: Love, Forgiveness, Acceptance, Service, Compassion, Humility, etc. and has instead has become a place of judgement, condemnation, and hatred directed toward immigrants, homosexuals, liberals.

      Thanks for proving me wrong, that not all Christians are hypocritical dicks

    • My 13 year old son came to me a couple of months ago and said ” mom, I am gay”. My response was: I know and I love you and I support you with all my heart. The one thing I always knew, is that if any of my children told me they were gay, I was going to support them no matter what. I love my kids, good or bad, gay or not gay. I am so glad to see that as a preacher you understand the true message of GOD is to love everyone, treat them with respect and kindness no matter what their sins are. Thank you for letting others know how you feel and giving confirmation to those of us who support and love our gay children.

    • How is this beautiful? Change the word gay to liar, or paedophile, or thief, or adulterer, or alcoholic, and I can promise you this “pastor” will not be running around proudly telling everyone, or not praying for God to help change their hearts, or thinking they were born that way.

      • But you miss the point. He did NOT say liar, pedophile (CORRECT SPELLING), thief, adulterer, OR alcoholic. He said GAY. The beauty is in open hearts, and NOT thinking we know better than God and His perfect decisions. He made us this way. If you say we are wrong, then you are saying that God is wrong. If you believe God is wrong, then you, too are just as I am, as we all are. Imperfect and loved by God because we are so. There is no praying for changes, no “thinking”… there just is. We are all Gods children. If He is almighty, and all knowing, and He Himself is the only Perfection, then you are in no position to judge. HE IS. He is God. Not you. You are NOT his mouth. You are NOT his hands. You are one of his children, just as I am, just as ALL LGBT members. We are no different. We are ALL loved and made perfect by Him. I choose to accept what and who I am. I do NOT choose to question Gods decision for me. And lady, I WAS born this way. GOD MADE IT SO. GO IS GOOD.

      • To Jess: I did not miss the point. I am saying that homosexuality is no different than being a liar, or a their, or an alcoholic, or a paedophile (perfectly acceptable spelling by the way :))

        1 Corinthians 6:9-10 “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”

        To say that God made people gay and therefore being gay is not sinful is calling God a liar. My point is that this pastor would not be running around saying they are proud of their child if they exhibited any of the other qualities on this list, other than being gay.

        No one would be telling all their friends and family “my child is a drunk, they were born that way, and I’m proud of him.” They would be saying “my child is an alcoholic, he/she is bound in sin, (even if they are a believer). I love them will all my heart, but please pray for them because their lifestyle is destructive.” Which is exactly what I would say if my child was a homosexual.

        I believe that someone can be a believer and be homosexual. Just like I know people who believe and have fallen into alcoholism, or cheated on their spouses, or have been guilty of lying, but their believe in Jesus does not make their actions, and mine any less sinful.

        I personally was a fornicator and struggled with pornography for many years, and my sin weighed heavy on my heart. I knew the Lord loved me and forgave me my sins and that I was saved by my faith in Christ, but I also knew that my lifestyle was still sinful and my relationship with Christ was broken. It wasn’t until I gave up my sin and repented and turned from it that my relationship was restored. I know first hand that telling someone they can live any way they want and that God will accept them is NOT loving.

      • Lying, pedophilia, stealing, adultery, and alcoholism all hurt people. Whom does homosexuality hurt? What harm are two consenting adults doing by loving each other?

    • People keep saying this dialogue is “terrible coming from a Pastor”… Are you kidding me? He is preaching complete, unconditional, whole love for his children regardless of whether they are gay or straight. He is preaching of a Father’s love for his children despite anything and everything that may come one day. He is preaching of God’s love for us.

      “Many of our attempts to understand Christian faith have only cheapened it. I can no more understand the totality of God than the pancake I made for breakfast understands the complexity of me. The little we do understand, that grain of sand our minds are capable of grasping, those ideas such as God is good, God feels, God loves, God knows all, are enough to keep our hearts dwelling on His majesty and otherness forever.” – Donald Miller, “Blue Like Jazz”

      This idea that being gay makes us undesirable as people, as Christians, is abhorrent. Don’t come back at me with some scripture regarding men laying together, etc. I’ve read them. I’ve read them in historical context. If you are a Christian, regardless of domination or faith practice, the number one take home message is that we are so loved, so completely and totally loved regardless of our actions, that Christ died for us to make us perfect in His eyes. This is how this Pastor loves his children. He loves them totally and completely for the unique people that they are. He loves all of them. So whether one day they decide to become an artist or a neurosurgeon, whether they move to Australia to surf or serve as missionaries in Guatemala, whether they choose to have their own children, adopt, or not be parents at all, whether they are gay or straight… he’s going to love them in all of it. As Christians, the take home message HAS TO BE of LOVE. Of unconditional, intense, love.

      We as a Christian community have to be better than petty picking and choosing of which sins we hold as “worse than” others. We have to move on. If all of us sat and truly contemplated the totality, the majesty, and the entirety of our God, surely things like the sexual orientation of whom one chooses to love and spend a life with would become the least important thing, because at the end of the day, love glorifies God. A loving life, a loving heart, a loving relationship… these things bring God the greatest joy. He delights in us. In our love for others, in our love for his creation, in our love of Him.

      When people who identify themselves as Christians continue to vilify the gay community, it makes the world see Christians as haters. We hate people who are gay. We hate people who have an abortion. We hate people who don’t believe in our God. We hate. We hate. We hate. Where in all of Christian doctrine is there ever a single idea that hate is what it means to follow Christ? Put down your swords for Christ. He doesn’t need your weaponry. He needs your heart and your love for your fellow man. I pray for all of you that in your upcoming week you feel a deep understanding of God’s love for you regardless of any hate you may feel in your heart. And that that love, and His spirit, can move you to love more. I pray that he forgives your sinful, hateful heart, and opens you up to love and kindness and acceptance of his amazing creation.

      I invite people to join in a Christian community that focuses on real things that they church should be involved in. Ending genocide. Ending sex trafficking. Healing hearts broken by a hateful world. There is enough hate in this world. Let’s not add to it. Love thy neighbor. Love God.

      For anyone who has been ostracized by the church or their Christian community, I encourage you to find Christ again in your life. He wants to have a relationship with you. He loves you. There are churches all over the country that are open and accepting of all people. Find one. Be proud of who God made you to be. Love the haters. They are sinning with every word of hate or judgment that they throw at you. Pray for them. Pray for their souls and that God would heal them. You are a loving, kind being that deserves to have a relationship with God, and no person can take that away from you.

      I love you all. God loves you. It doesn’t need to be as complicated as people with small minds, small hearts, and small worlds would like to make it.

      • Well said!! I knew my son was gay since he was 3 years old and wanted a purple tutu, red sparkly shoes like Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz and a breaky tea set! I didn’t care…and yes, I bought him these things! Just like I bought his brother baseballs and footballs. By age 12, I saw the internal struggle he was having. At age 13, we were having a discussion about Thanksgiving and I told him that if he or his brother ever brought a boyfriend home for Thanksgiving dinner, they would be welcome at our table. He just smiled at me. Two years later, he had his first date and he told me about it. My son is gay; he has been ostracized from our church – they say they love him, but every time he goes they pray over him. My son did not choose to be gay when he was 3 years old. He came out this way. My son is smart, funny and extremely handsome! If you have a problem with him or me, I’m with John…frankly it’s none of your business. I read a book once called something like “What about Grace?” that talks about homosexuality. If a gay couple came into your church, would anyone welcome them? Would anyone minister to them? Would anyone even speak to them? Or would they just be stared at and be made so uncomfortable they wouldn’t come back? Where is the grace that God showed to us? Aren’t we to pass that on? Think about it and then tell me I”m wrong for loving my gay son. My last word to him before he left for college? You can always come home. He knows that if anyone gives him a hard time about his sexuality, he can always come home. His parents love and support him. In my eyes he’s no different that his younger, jock, heterosexual brother.

    • Amen! As a 40-something year-old who spent more than a decade trying to figure out how to feel okay about myself when I realized I was gay, I can’t thank you enough for this blog. I grew up as a Southern Baptist and would have been so grateful for this kind of acceptance as a child. Your children are lucky to have you as their father – whoever they turn out to be. Thanks again for this wonderful message of support and true Christian love.

    • Thank you for being a wonderful, kind, caring human being. I have been involved with LGBT youth since I, myself, was a youth. So many kids thrown away like suddenly, with one admission, they have become a monster. My best friend was one of those kids. It is sad, but even sadder is that most of these kids expect this treatment. Thank you for not being one of those that tries to vilify someone for simply being who they were meant to be.

    • This brought tears to my eyes… I am a lesbian.I just wanted to say Thank You, John. For your words of encouragement. Even for someone like myself… I was raised in The Church and then told not to come back when I came out. I found a wonderful new Church eventually, but it was a long road to trusting the people that it held. I always worried someone would say something horrible to my son about me and that he would be forced to be my defender… but so far, it hasn’t happened. I guess I just wanted to say that this story is truly an inspiration in proving many people wrong. Not all Christians are bigots. To Greg, and all others that are slapping down their two cents on this being all about sin…. Go take a hike. If any of these things effects you, your family, your marriage or your beliefs…. Then YOU are your own problem. Same as I had to get past myself to open my heart to a new Church Family. My marriage, my family, my LIFE is not for you to judge. It is Him and Him alone that will judge me when I leave this life. GOD MADE ME THIS WAY. He is good and absolute in his design. He is perfection. YOU ARE NOT. You are basically telling me and everyone else out there that you know better than Him. That somehow you are the mouth of God. Which is completely untrue. THOSE are the people I pray hardest for. When I’m at church. With my wife and son. Every single Sunday.

    • Greg, as a fellow Christian, I will pray for your ability to sleep at night, knowing you have many journeys to still learn about your fellow humans, and especially your children. God has certainly blessed you ,may you celebrate His blessings to you by honoring all His creations, not only the ones you deem worthy.

    • N0where in the New Testament, with Jesus in the picture, was homosexuality ever mentioned. I for one, love Jesus, and live by his words of Love. Christian “scholars”, do your homework.

    • Please do not be so hard on yourself. If you are Christian you already came a long way by accepting your son! A lot of Christians are sheeps and don’t have their own minds. Remember gay is normal and there is nothing to fear. They all just want to be loved. I’m not gag myself but have always been a strong ally. Glad you have joined the fight! With more gay accepting Christians, the world can overcome bigotry! 🙂 God bless you..

    • When I see religious people using the bible to condemn others I always remember this letter… But, first of all, I have to say that religious people, in the history, have used the Bible to justify their atrocities, they used it to slave people (slavery of black and indigenous people in America), to make profit out the scriptures and salvation; they used it to murder and torture innocent people (witch hunt), to neuter children (los castrati), to prohibit rights to women, and now to prohibit rights for LGBTQ community.

      Regarding the letter, Dr. Laura Schlesinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. She said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, Jack Kent Ashcraft, which was posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative.

      Dear Dr. Laura,

      Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

      I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

      a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

      b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

      c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

      d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

      e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

      f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

      g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

      h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

      i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

      j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

      I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

      Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

      Your devoted disciple and adoring fan,

      Jack Kent Ashcraft

      If You Have read christian Bible will realize that these biblical quotes from Orthodox Jews say the same as those of Christians. And, I think, many religious are inconsistent between the scriptures and their actions, also the Bible has many old ideas that have changed in the history and has many contradictions in many of its writings. As seen, in the above quotes, many activities as slavery are unacceptable and should never happen anymore, as now with discrimination towards LGBTQ community.

      P.S. Sorry if my english isn’t good enough is not my mother tongue.

    • I had chills the entire time. I have left the church, mainly for the reasons you have stated. I am gay and happy and engaged. You made my heart melt and my spirit glow!

    • I can honestly say that to me this post is an inspiration and a call to all people (regardless of religious affiliation, race, class, gender, sexual orientation or any other category) to live by the golden rule of “love your neighbor as you love yourself”. Thank you for your courage and for speaking your truth. You make a difference in this world.

    • If you have gay children, you should pray for them. That they would repent from sin so they wont go to hell. Whether your child was fornicating, getting drunk, high, living in sin or just not born again. The truth is (according to God’s word) is: There won’t be any homosexual people in heaven. It’s too bad that as a pastor, your views don’t line up with GOD’s Word. People will perish because you won’t preach the truth, not willing to bear the reproach of the gospel.
      Romans 1:24 So God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies. That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another, men committing indecent acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.

    • Greg, The 21st century is an amazing place filled with human diversity. This Pastor and dad is sad, he might be the kind of Christian that converts other people with his humble, Christ-like love and compassion for others. You, on the other hand, remind me why I never want to be a Christian. My son is Gay and my son is a perfect expression of the Creator’s love for all people.

    • Greg, we all sin. my children are proud, they sometimes are liers, i am sure they will worship things in the world that are not G-d. this does not stop me or G-d from loving them. it is not our job to abolish sin, Jesus did that already.

    • I find it a shame that some many people make God the kind of person you would not like living next door to you. The kind who would torture his kids for eternity in the basement for breaking a rule. Pavlovitz understands this. He understands that God is not an abusive father, but a loving father. Jesus said nothing about homosexuality. Jesus said that the most important things we could do were loving God above all things and our neighbor as ourselves. Both Jesus and Paul did not approve of judging others and noted that those who judge, as people are doing here, are condemning themselves. How can they not realize that?

    • I feel the same way as you do Cheri…this was a beautiful blog. I also have a son who is gay and the day he came out was a joyous day for him and for me. I have 3 other sons and one daughter and I love them just as they are. Thank you to this pastor for writing every word of this!

    • Honestly, I started reading this expecting it to be absolutely horrid towards the gay community, but instead I was pleasantly surprised. I’m glad that you would love your gay children and that they would know this too. It’s a good sign that the Christian community is opening up towards others and it’s great that you’re one of them. Thank you so much for posting this-it made my day.

  2. As the mother of a gay child, I thank-you from the bottom of my heart for this beautiful tribute. I can’t even begin to describe the fear we first felt when our son came out. God has TRULY turned our relationship into something so very beautiful. I wouldn’t trade him for any other person in this world.

  3. Thank you so much for posting this! I have always had so many issues with the church’s treatment of people who identify as GLBTQ. Even though I’m not totally convinced it’s natural, based on my interpretation of scripture, that does not excuse some people’s attitudes toward their fellow human beings, and that’s certainly no reason to deny someone basic human rights, whether they’re GLBTQ or what-have-you. I have several friends who are GLBTQ who have been mercilessly persecuted by Christians. I’ve been persecuted by Christians just for being their friend. This is ridiculous and it’s a stain on the honor that is representing Christ on this side of eternity.

    • We live in a corrupt body; and I am certain the early church had the issues of those who found Christ Jesus and were homosexual. The Christian life is about overcoming sin and mortifying the deeds of the flesh. We are called to love as Jesus Christ loved no matter what area a person may be facing to battle in the flesh. Many have so badly pointed the finger at homosexuals who have sincerely desired to follow Christ; and honestly I think it has caused more hurt and pain to those who are gay but is it an “unforgivable sin”? Look at the depiction of the woman taken in adultery. Christ said those without sin to cast the first stone; none could throw a stone because all were sinners. Christ did not condemn the adulteress; but told her go and sin no more.

  4. This post has brought tears to my eyes and an achingly sweet joy to my heart. From the mother of not one, but two, gay children, I want to tell you how very much your words are like water in a parched land. How I wish I had, at the time of my son’s coming out, the education I now have and sense enough to have responded in nothing but love – but I was quaking in fear and allowed that fear to drive my thoughts, my scriptural interpretations, and my words. Now that some years are behind us (and since he is a compassionate, forgiving soul), my son and I have forged a bond that cannot break. It is the same with my other gay child, since their coming out occurred after I’d learned where God’s heart really is in this. I just wish the earlier journey had not been so difficult, mainly for my son.

    Your future child(ren) are both blessed and blessings.

    Thank you.

  5. If I have cheerful children it will be because there are no nuclear weapons to threaten all of us any more, there will be no more cruelty or war or famine or suffering and it will be because Christ has returned to bring the World to rights and to restore it to its rightful condition and to judge evildoers and for us all to be transformed in our hearts and minds by God’s Grace and by Jesus’s sacrifice of himself on the Cross of Calvary and his rising again from the dead to love mercy do righteousness and walk humbly with God the Father of us all

    • Your daughter was definitely wonderfully made! But God did not make her gay, I find no evidence of scripture supporting God making people against what he already said. Please do a Bible study on it, and I think you will find the truth.

      Matter of fact, scientists(not Christians) have mapped out the complete human genome, they did not find a “gay gene”. We as Christians are letting ourselves be swayed by culture instead of being swayed by the truth! Please know, I am not condemning anyone! And I pray that God gives you clear revelation as to how HE created us and how this is not how we love!

      • Joshua -you are making what is known as an argument from ignorance. If you say “we don’t know what causes this”, you can’t turn around and make a claim -any claim- about the cause. This is the same fallacy people make when they say “scientists don’t know what caused the big bang, therefore god did it.”
        We have written out the human genome, but work continues on determining what various genes do. We know from twin studies that homosexuality is not strictly genetic. Genes may play a part, but they’re not the only determining factor. But we also have a tremendous amount of data on epigenetics, and no serious scientist has any doubt that sexual orientation is determined either in utero or soon after birth.
        I would encourage you to practice rationalism. Demand evidence, but be willing to accept that evidence, depending on it’s strength, no matter where it leads you. Don’t look into a question with an outcome you Want to believe. That’s like popping the hood, wanting to believe you have a dirty fuel filter, finding oily foam in the radiator, and still believing the fuel filter is the problem instead of the head gasket. Your desire for a particular result leads you to the wrong result almost all of the time.

      • Please quit talking about something you know nothing about! Science HAS found a difference in the brains of straight and gay people. New scientific findings are announced all the time, including genetic mutations.

        But I didn’t need any of that to tell me I was born with an innate attraction to the same sex, despite being raised in a solidly Christian, churchgoing and loving family. (And to Dazelll, I did not suffer any trauma that made me this way… not even any kind of physical abuse. I was a good kid who made excellent grades and never got into trouble with drugs or alcohol).

        I first became aware of what my difference was when I was about 12, then spent the next few decades running from it, praying daily, often in anguish, to have it removed from me. I tried my hardest to be straight, but it didn’t work.

        Finally, after having suffered some personal losses, God let it be known to me that my natural orientation did not need fixing.

        I cannot change it any more than I can change the fact that I’m short. I could pray to God constantly to make me several inches taller, but He is not likely to do so. I know without a doubt that He made it clear to me that He loves me as I am, the same as He would if I were straight.

      • I bet you feel good about yourself. I mean how christian of you to stand up and smash this mother who just positively supported her daughter and thanked the writer for a kind and true Christian perspective on this subject. Now you could have keep you ignorant beliefs to yourself but you wanted to try to hurt this woman. It is supposed “christians” like you that make me sick to my stomach. Sorry to be so blunt but how dare you….

      • I just discovered this site from a day on my job listening to a lunch date on this subject. My oldest daughter is dating an identical twin whose brother is gay. they are planning a double wedding and we have “friends” who raise their eyebrows! What? My husband and I are Christians, and Please know that God loves us as we are, who we are, and what we are and will be. I can’t wait to continue our extended family of love. and that’s the bottom line. Marriage is a covenant between God and your significant other.

      • I agree..for this ” We as Christians are letting ourselves be swayed by culture instead of being swayed by the truth! Please know, I am not condemning anyone! And I pray that God gives you clear revelation as to how HE created us and how this is not how we love!” let not flowery words of this pastor blind us from the truth…revelation from God is very imprtant

      • Joshua – You’re partially right on one small part of your comment. Scientists have “mapped out” the entire human genome, however, the human genome is huge. Scientists do not have the slightest idea what every single gene in the genome does. If they did, my life would be much easier. But, facts are, the entire genome has not been figured out, and scientists still cannot even identify all of the various specific genes that can cause multiple, actual health problems like increased cancer risks, debilitating mental disabilities, and even painful connective tissue disorders like my own.

        Another thing to think about- scientists also have not found a straight gene. That means heterosexuality can not be proven as innate either. So how do you know that heterosexuality wasn’t something you chose as well? (Of course, we know that all of the varieties of human sexual orientations are not choices, so that question is rhetorical.)

    • Kelli the Bible starts off with the first couple, one man and one woman, all the way through the Bible a marriage is one man and one woman, their offspring make their family, God created man and women to accommodate each other physically (sexually) and emotionally, the children need influence from the dad and the mom,
      the Biblical principle-God’s plan is a marriage is one man and one woman and sex is only for the married couple, all other sex is sin and perverts God’s intent for sex,
      homosexuality is listed all thru the Bible as abnormal and perverted, just like adultery, incest and fornication etc.,
      there are many reasons that people are tempted by emotional problems to misuse sex with rape, fornication, adultery, homosexuality ect, but acting out these feelings instead of seeking God and His right plan is definately sin,
      as a parent if you find that your child has gender id problems get them counseling immediately, do not let them harden those feelings, it will be so much harder to overcome as an adult,
      our liberal culture is turning away from God and so wants us to believe that we should change the definition of marriage and family to leave out God and make abnormal unions, unhealthy families,
      Jesus does not accept sexual sin relationships, He talked to the woman at the well about her “shacking up” and He told the woman caught in adultery (John 8) to go and sin no more, the requirements for church leaders is “the husband of one wife”,
      homosexuality is not genetic it is an emotional/mental disorder and is completely curable,
      it is direct rebellion against God to live as a homosexual, we are not to mistreat homos but instead love them and help them to know Christ as Savior, Christ died to save them from their sin

      • Dazell, you wrote above that “all the way through the Bible a marriage is one man and one woman…,” yet this is hardly the case. How many wives does Abraham have? Isaac? Jacob? David? SOLOMON? Multiple wives for each one. And don’t even get me started on concubines! While I understand what you’re trying to say, here, the “one man/one-woman = Biblical marriage” is not the case, especially in the OT. And what of the Levirate marriage law in Deut. 25? Why don’t we practice that any longer? This particular argument needs to shutter its doors, because it doesn’t hold weight. It’s like trying to compare apples to oranges.

        You also wrote: “as a parent if you find that your child has gender id problems get them counseling immediately, do not let them harden those feelings, it will be so much harder to overcome as an adult …” I’m a parent who DID do these things in the early days, when I was being ruled by fear over the truth, yet my gay children are still gay. Are you aware that the APA doesn’t see SSA as a psychiatric disorder? Are you aware that most Christian counselors are in agreement with the APA? Are you aware that Exodus Int’l closed down after the co-founder said that sexual orientation, for 99.9% of people, is fixed and unchangeable? Again, this is an argument that is dead in the water.

        You then wrote: “homosexuality is not genetic it is an emotional/mental disorder and is completely curable.” Please present statistics for how you know this to be a fact and also stats for how many SSA people have been “cured.” (Or google Exodus International and read what they, as experts on reparative therapy, now have to say about the dangers of such therapy and how many people who came to them for help were never “cured” of their SSA).

        And, since you ended with this: “we are not to mistreat homos but instead to love them,” I’m going to tell you point-blank that referring to gay people as “homos” betrays your suggestion that you love them and IS mistreating them. That’s not loving. How would you feel if you were black and a “Christian” referred to you as “nigger?” You’ve done the same thing here to LGBT people, and that renders your entire argument “a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.”

      • From a Psychology student’s perspective, gay emotions and feelings are not a disorder. Schizophrenia is a disorder. Being suicidal is an emotional disorder. Bipolar is a condition. Your closed mindedness and inability to care for people is a disorder. But being gay is NOT a handicap nor is it something that is “cured” by anything. Grow up and do some actual research man. Stop judging what you have no right to judge, because God himself even said that was not your place. Christ said “love one another.” Judging someone is not love. Neither does it show how wonderful a Christian you are.

        Clearly, you need to open your eyes and see what “love” is truly about. I may not agree personally with the LBGBT community, but I sure as hell won’t let them feel unloved and alone. No one deserves that treatment.

        Put your heart in the right place and embrace those people. Prove you are a loving Christian worth his salt. Because right now, you are demonstrating the closed mindedness of a hippocrite.

      • Dazell – The bible starts off with a story of creation plagiarized from an earlier creation story told by the Babylonians. It also has a mythological story about 2 people starting the human race. Why because we all need simplified stories for understanding. There was no Adam and Eve if they were they would have created the greatest incestuous family in history. Also how did their family grow to the other continents separated by the supposed geographic origin of man. Additionally Biblical principals are not of one man one woman. There are story after story of 1) Woman being property, 2) Men having multiple wives, 3) Men having slaves as concubines. Another lie you spoke of is how against Jesus is for “sexual sin” and yet low and behold Jesus never once condemned same sex love, same sex unions, or same sex sex. The direct rebel;ion against God is to deny the way he created you. Living a lie and denying God’s creative force and designed attraction would be the only sin. Perhaps Jesus died to save people like you who try to hurt others with lies and miss information and a lack of love. But he did not need to die to save the LGBT community living as God created them.

      • Dazell, please cite your sources to back up your statements about how homosexuals are made, not born because reputable scientific data does not agree. The gay people posting on this forum, and the parents of gay children posting on this forum are telling you that you’re wrong but you insist on perpetrating that myth.

        I feel sorry for any children you have or may have. You are not good parenting material. As much as you seem to be able to quote the bible, you don’t seem to understand the message.

      • Peter,

        Your delusional thinking of the bible being wrong will all be verified one day. When judgement day comes everyone will have to answer for the sins that are committed. I pray that you are saved. This life is short, heaven and hell is forever. Is living in this world sinfully worth taking a chance to spend eternity in Hell? I think I can behave. It’s not worth the chance. Being a Christian is hard, but its worth it! God’s not dead!

  6. I’m a parent and have wondered about this a time or two as well. After reading this I have some questions and please, please don’t read them as if I have a judgmental tone. I sincerely am just looking for someone to be honest and provide biblical clarity – scriptures that support opinions on the subject.

    1) Are homosexual acts sinful? Not homosexual thoughts, but the acts themselves.
    2) Are there scriptures that tell us being in a homosexual relationship is acceptable to Christ?
    3) There are several Old Testament passages that call homosexuality an abomination (not exactly sure what that is by the way), are there other passages in the Bible that make these passages void?

    Thank you for your thoughts!

    • We could get into numerous debates about the 6 texts in the Bible that people say condemn homosexuality, but there is a common thread through them all that people tend to overlook is that every reference is to either homosexual rape or prostitution of young boys.

      As Christians we wrongly teach our children that there are a list of sins, and because we fail to realize that sin is ANYTHING that stands in the way of our relationship with God or hurts one of God’s Children.

      It’s not my place to judge what is sin for you because I can not understand what is keeping you from God. I can only focus on my own relationship with God.

      • Add to that there is a presupposition that it is married adult invividual who are committing the sex acts you mention. So odd that people over looks these very relevant facts.

    • You should also check out Dr. Michael Browns “Can you be gay and Christian?” He’s an Ancient Near Eastern language scholar and messianic Jew. He lays out each question you have in detail. He also addresses other authors like Vines.

    • Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, 1 cor. 6:9 The Good news is that when we repent of our sins and turn away from them and follow Jesus we are saved!!
      Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 cor 5:17. We change and we produce fruit–those who do not Matt. &;3 says:”Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.

      • Mona, instead of cutting and pasting Scriptures, please address the topic.

        Let’s say that you have a 14-year old son, one who has been raised in the faith, and he tells you that he loves Jesus and that he’s gay…

        What do you do?
        What do you say?
        How do you move forward?
        Do you just read these Scriptures?

      • By the way, so you’re saying that “effeminate” men are going to Hell? That’s what the Scripture seems to say. Guess I’ll ask how the effeminate person “produces fruit” that will get them in to Heaven; to “inherit the Kingdom”?

        Not trying to gang-up on you, just want to point out who difficult it is to give stock, black and white answers. If you’re going to simply use Scripture as the response to these issues, you’ll need to make sure you follow them through with actual suggestions on how they are worked out with actual human beings, especially ones you love.

      • Thank you Mona. You are the first to attempt to answer my questions with scriputre. That was what I was hoping for. I love that 1 Corinthians 6:9 goes on to say “And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.” SO even if homosexuality is a sin (which is obviously a topic of hot debate) all can still be washed, santified, and justified. Praise God! The work of the cross was for ALL!

      • John, yep, that’s what I’m saying. The only prerequisite (John 3:18) for being a Christian is to believe that Jesus is the Son of God (John 10), that He died on the cross for redemption of all our sins (1 Corinthians 15:3; Ephesians 1:7; Hebrews 2:9;), that He rose (John 11:25), and He sits at the right hand of the Father (Mark 16:19).

        That said, I still believe, based my reading of the Word, that homosexuality is sin. I would like to further add that homosexuality is not a greater or lesser sin than any sin I have committed. Jesus paid one price for all sin. And praise God He didn’t expect me to be sinless when I first surrendered my life to Him! Praise God that He still doesn’t expect sinless perfection out of me today! And if I were a homosexual, praise God that He would expect me to become straight in order to profess Him as my Lord and Savior. Knowing how much grace He has extended to me encourages me to extend grace to others.

        As a Christian who believes that God does not want us to live in homosexuality, the best thing for me to do is to pray for homosexuals and that God reveal His truth – not my truth – to them. I emphasize *not my truth* because I am humble enough, or at least hope to be humble enough, to realize that I could be completely wrong in this matter. There have been times, many times, when I have had a disagreement over scripture with someone. When I completely and whole heartedly surrendered the disagreement to God I have found that one of two things always happens: 1) The Holy Spirit convicts the person I am praying for or 2) He convicts me and reveals to me that I have been wrong.

        Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, ***does not seek its own,*** is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, ***but rejoices in the truth;*** bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Corinthians 13:4-6). So no matter which side of the debate we find ourselves on, I believe that the best course of action for each of us is to truly love (suffer long and be kind), to pray, and to let the Holy Spirit do his job. He is far better at than we could ever be.

        Sorry for being so long winded. This post and the debate that followed have obviously struck a chord within me. I’ve been mulling it over and looking for scripture on the matter since you posted two days ago. The greatest take away I have gotten from this entire discussion is that we need to stop pushing our own agendas, stop focusing on how wrong others are, and fix our eyes on Jesus.

      • Mr. Pavlovitz, I can tell you exactly how it feels to have your child look in your eyes and tell you he’s gay. I had to bury the secret dream of his marrying a young lady, settling down and giving me grandchildren in a split second (because this happened before gay marriage was a dream of being legal). In the next part of that second, I knew the young man sitting in front of me was no different than the young man who had been there a minute before. So I hugged him, and told him there was absolutely nothing he could ever say, or do, that would make me stop loving him. Deep down, that felt like the most right thing to do and say. Seven years later, it still does.

      • Mona, if your version of the bible uses the term “homosexual” you may want to buy a new one. You see the term and concept came about a couple of hundred years ago not a couple of thousand. And modern interpretation of the bible which uses that term does so with a subversive agenda. It is not authentic. It is not real or accurate. But that being said if gives great testament to why the Bible should never be used to hurt and condemn men as throughout the ages bias and miss translation have creeped in and given cause to some pretty horrible actions. There is however some teaching which is rather pervassive and consistent. It comes from Christ. He teaachers to lover your neighbor as yourself and or how he loves us (paraphrasing) and he cautions men not to judge men as that is God’s role not mens. So be careful with your condemnation speech as it is in direct violation of Christ’s, who is pretty important to most Christians, teachings.

      • John, I’m surprised that you are choosing “how it worked out” as your definition for truth being effective. (And when I say “truth”, I mean God’s Word.) God’s Word is enough. How do you teach your children not to lie, not to steal? How do you teach your students?

        It’s the same. The foundation of truth is God’s Word. You read it and explain it so they understand it. You t-e-a-c-h.

      • this is for Johndpay:
        my asnwers for your questions are:
        1. I will accept my son for who he is, and for his gender preference, I love him cause he came from me.God gave me him.
        2. I will tell him that to be gay alone is not a sin.But, I will also remind Him that in being gay he will face differnt trials and circumstances. It’s gonna be a tough road. And one of the toughest road he will face when he come to age is to keep his path straight. That is when he reaches puberty and the call of the flesh is tempting. I will tell him that I am super proud that he loves Jesus. I will encourage him to keep that faith,improve that personal relationship with Jesus, for I believe that Jesus with the help of the holy spirit, will guide him as well…I beleive Jesus will give Him some revelations about himself.About what is the truth.About what is righteous and pleasing before God.
        3.HOw do we move forward, well treat him as he is, guide him along the way until he gets old and I get old.we live a happy family.Of course, we will make Christ as the center of our lives. He will make our burdens and circumstances easy.
        4. I beleive that reading the scriptures alone is not enough. We need to be in constant prayer, We need to put our faith into action too. He will be exposed as a gay christian. ANd one day, when my son is of the right age, I will tell him that if you really Love Jesus, you will find Joy in following his teachings..

    • Did your god make man in his image… Has he not commanded you to love others as you love him. What more do you need to know. Is it not also written that each child is fashioned by god in the womb. Made who he or she is by god himself. Does your god make mistakes? To not accept a child fashioned by god himself i would consider that the most grievous sin. And before anyone questions me for being non-christian I was born and raised catholic.

      • True understanding of one’s own salvation right here……or the meaning there of…….

        This hits the nail on the head!!! Very simple.
        No, God does not make mistakes. His Plans, his hands.

        I Love the simple, clear, comment!!!!!
        Mmmmm, I think God just spoke through you!! 🙂 🙂 HaHa……

        Christian or not, Be Blessed.

    • Kelli, you are a woman. According to the Bible, you may not EVER question the teachings of a man. You may not EVER speak in church. You are unclean and are nothing more than property. I hope your husband made good use of the two goats and a sheep he was paid by your father, because that is your total worth as a person.

      Wait, what’s that you’re saying? You don’t believe those things? You want the Bible to agree with your complete and total ignorance when is suits you, but you don’t want to believe the Bible when it applies to you?

    • Kelli,
      I won’t pretend to know what the author’s response will be, so I will speak for myself only. And it is long and for that I apologize.
      In answering your three questions, one has to, HAS to, look at it in proper context– who it was written to, who wrote it, why it was written and what was going on in the society and time it was written.
      So, for the New Testament verses against homosexuality there are several things to realize: 1) the term homosexual did not exist back then (the term homosexual did not exist until around the 18oo’s). 2) The Romans were worshiping the young male body instead of worshiping God and the Greeks were also worshiping the young male body instead of worshiping God. 3) The top scholars almost all agree that what Paul condemns in Romans is pederasty– because not only are the original words used were the word for child/adult relationships and it always surrounds idolatry and/or prostitution.
      I am not saying you are wrong. What I am saying is that when you look at it in historical context for the time when it was written, that is what you are left with.
      Your second question: Christ said nothing against homosexuality, even though there WERE adult/adult consenting relationships going on back then. Even some of the earliest Popes and Priests in the Christian faith had male/male relationships. Historically, it wasn’t until the Renaissance period (about 1400’s and 1500’s) that severe condemnations were pushed (the time of King James).
      As for the term “abomination”– from my understanding, that term relates to ritual cleanliness and ritual purity. Eating Pork products is an abomination. Eating unclean fish (including crawfish, shell fish, oysters, and many species of fish) are abominations. Wearing clothing with two or more mixed fibers, also an abomination. Women wearing men’s clothing (jeans would be included, I believe) is also an abomination. So if we condemn those who commit abominations, then 99% of us are all going to hell. By the way, what IS specifically forbidden, is adultery– and Jesus makes it clear that if a married man and woman divorce and remarries, they are committing adultery. So we must therefor condemn all of the people in the world who are on their second, third, fourth, etc. marriage because all are committing adultery. (Mark 10:11)
      The old testament specifically forbids one specific physical act. Nowhere does it forbid the love of two men or two women. The Torah is not about emotions when it comes to what is or is not allowed. The one forbidden act in Leviticus is in with the verses forbidding a man from being in the same bed as a woman on her menstrual cycle (remember, back then women who were on a menstrual cycle had to go outside of the city walls and be secluded). So the scholars tend to think that the forbidden act of “man lying with man as he does women” has to do with “bloodletting”.. That is one historically contexted interpretation.
      Remember, it is all about relationship with God.. And if we are hurting others (engaging in that forbidden act causes pain) or worshiping humans then we can not worship God.
      Although just friends, David and Jonathan in the Bible made a covenant with each other, became as one soul, and loved each other “more than women”– and it was not forbidden. It was because it was about committed relationship with each other (as very deep soul mate friends– I am NOT suggesting they were gay lovers) and not about worshiping each other but rather a relationship with each other and with God.
      That is what it’s ultimately about — our relationship to God and Jesus, not worship of the flesh.

      That is my interpretation, and my understanding after many years of Biblical study.

      • Mathew Ive also looked up “fornication” and many Christians believe it is sex before marriage, but no where in the bible did I see that…. What I did see was a comparison to parents having sex with there children? what is your definition/findings on that? I do know it says if 2 cant wait they should marry.

    • Kelli the Bible starts off with the first couple, one man and one woman, all the way through the Bible a marriage is one man and one woman, their offspring make their family, God created man and women to accommodate each other physically (sexually) and emotionally, the children need influence from the dad and the mom,
      the Biblical principle-God’s plan is a marriage is one man and one woman and sex is only for the married couple, all other sex is sin and perverts God’s intent for sex,
      homosexuality is listed all thru the Bible as abnormal and perverted, just like adultery, incest and fornication etc.,
      there are many reasons that people are tempted by emotional problems to misuse sex with rape, fornication, adultery, homosexuality ect, but acting out these feelings instead of seeking God and His right plan is definately sin,
      as a parent if you find that your child has gender id problems get them counseling immediately, do not let them harden those feelings, it will be so much harder to overcome as an adult,
      our liberal culture is turning away from God and so wants us to believe that we should change the definition of marriage and family to leave out God and make abnormal unions, unhealthy families,
      Jesus does not accept sexual sin relationships, He talked to the woman at the well about her “shacking up” and He told the woman caught in adultery (John 8) to go and sin no more, the requirements for church leaders is “the husband of one wife”,
      homosexuality is not genetic it is an emotional/mental disorder and is completely curable,
      it is direct rebellion against God to live as a homosexual, we are not to mistreat homos but instead love them and help them to know Christ as Savior, Christ died to save them from their sin

      • Dazell, examples of marriage in the Bible have not been solely 1 man , 1 woman. We also have examples of one man and many wives, one man and hundreds of wives and concubines, one man and his wife’s slave, women taken against their will to be wives/sex slaves as a war prize after their families have been slaughtered, a raped virgin woman as long as the family has been paid, Lot and his daughter’s although they didn’t marry but still fathered children to them, and Paul wasn’t crazy about marriage at all. So let’s not pretend that there was only ever one form of marriage.

      • To say the bible teaches marriage as being “one man, one woman” throughout shows an all too common ignorance of the book. The bible endorses polygamy, rapists marrying their victims, and marrying your widowed sister-in-law, among other variations on human relations.
        You cannot provide a peer reviewed study that supports the idea that homosexuality is a choice, or is “curable”. The evidence points to exactly the opposite; it is innate and not generally changeable.
        I would encourage you to look beyond your own comfort zone and read up on what science knows about the issue. We have learned a thing or two in the last two thousand years.

      • Dazell, being born a homosexual or heterosexual IS genetic. An endocrinologist can help you read about it all. Here is what you can look up on your own if you wish to. Some where in this feed I explained it a little bit. It is hormones and genes. Hormones are at play in utero. A good medical, endo book has a chapter dedicated to this very thing. 🙂

        Prenatal Hormones and Sexual Orientation

        Sexual differentiation of the human
        brain: relevance for gender identity,
        transsexualism and sexual orientation

      • Dazell Ask yourself this, do you have a kind heart? if there was no bible and no god to tell us how we should be, would you be a good person? And i don’t just mean not murdering and not stealing but how you observe the world and those who inhabit it, do you feel righteous anger when you see the weak being crushed by the strong, would you see an injustice like someone being beaten and robbed and run in to help or would you walk away and pretend you didn’t see or hear?

        Be honest, imagine these situations. Would your heart thump and burn so much if you didn’t have god to tell you it should.

        But i suppose this is a redundant thought, in this world exists the bible and god, but on the other hand didn’t jesus say something about how so called holy men can parade around as good people but on the inside their heart is black and god can see what is in a persons heart.

        Your post made me angry but only because you refuse to see anyone else’s view but your own, you have shut you eyes and blocked your ears to any voice that doesn’t mirror yours.

      • There are SIX different kinds of marriage in the Bible.

        One needs to learn more about the history of the Bible.

        Some of the Bible pertains to the year and times for which it was written, hence, some of the stuff in there is illegal today. It no longer applies in 2014.

        Prenatal Hormones and Sexual Orientation.

        Love God , Love others.

        You need some medical, science, education my friend. 🙂 🙂
        Happy reading

      • the Bible tells about the lives of people the good, the bad and the ugly, God started the first couple as one man and one woman, the new testament tells us to pick church leaders that are the husband of one wife,
        but the Bible does speak of men who took on several wives especially kings who collected them, BUT it was a problem for them and lead them astray, they didn’t follow God’s plan for marriage- big mistake,

        in case someone out there wants to believe that I must be a hateful person because I believe God- that homosexuality is a sin (just like the Bible says), sorry to disappoint you, I’ve ministered to many people, I do care for people, if I didn’t care then I wouldn’t say anything just yawn and let them go

      • When did y’all forget that ‘man and woman’ are actually a mammal that share the same spinal structure as other non male and female mammals? Mammals have been around way longer than man, because man did not evolve into a mammal right? Man did not spawn foxes, horses, apes, even a chipmunk. Yet I can list 10 mammals to be proven to also have homosexual behaviors and act on them, some of which a pure partnership and bonding, some of which actually engage in the act of sex itself.
        I know you are going to tell me how life was created in the Bible and state that is the all knowing fact because ‘it is stated in the Bible’. Testing and research proves science when it comes to mammals from what I see and hear each and every day. Only a book written by man is your basis for all life on Earth. How is that proven fact?
        I can prove I am writing this right now because of the text in plain sight. I can prove that we see color due to the spectrum of light and reflection because it can be done hands on. I can prove that I love someone by showing them the honor and affection that they so deserve. How can you seriously prove your above ‘fact’ and expect everyone who does not have the same opinion as yours to be in the absolute wrong because a book that has no definite proof other than words on paper tells you. I can at least prove right now that I have put ‘words on paper’.
        Other than because a book tells you, prove to me that there IS a god, and I mean solid hard proof that is factual on the basis of what is fact and fiction, and I will believe each and every story a wonderful author of the best sci-fi thriller’s with the most recognizable name in story-telling is fact. His books states the impossible, so why could that not be fact as well? Can anyone answer this question with undeniable unbiased reasoning?
        If you can prove to me that there is a god with undeniable facts to back up your beliefs then I will bow before a creator I never knew I had, that being said, I would rather burn in hell for an eternity before I ever made anyone feel less of a human being based on rules that shun our brothers and sisters in this life. I love every single life form based on the fact that I have a brain and genetics and matter and atoms in my skin that allow me the awesomeness of being able to speak, see, breathe, taste, touch, smell, live, run, love, fish, hike, feel the breeze on my skin, be me. Give a helping hand, a kind word to a stranger, an encouraging word a struggling soul. All of this while not caring who someone is having sex with.
        I would burn a million lifetimes before I ever allowed myself to ‘care’ about what other’s are doing behind closed doors and treat them like an outsider or expect them to change.

    • In answer to your questions, Kelli, the concept of homosexuality was completely unknown at the time, as were mental illness, diabetes, and the existence of bacteria to name a few modern discoveries. Mental illness was blamed on curses, demonic possession and other things we now know are the result of ignorance. Disease was thought to be caused by sin, curses, etc,. because people had no idea of the scientific bases of disease such as poor diet, genetics, or bacterial contamination.

      In the same vein, they believed the production of heirs and passage of property to them were the only natural function of marriage, so a loving, committed relationship between same-sex partners seemed unnatural (though it isn’t — homosexuality is present in many creatures that mate in addition to humans). There was no context in ancient times for homosexual relationships.

      Scholarly examination of the oft quoted Bible verses condemning homosexuality actually deal with temple prostitution and pederasty; there were no words/terms/ideas for same-sex love in those days. NONE. Jesus never spoke about it once; instead, he commands us to love one another, to judge not lest we be judged.

      I believe the pastor has it right here. It’s not up to us to determine whether or not someone else is sinning. It’s up to us to love others, to live as examples of God’s love for us. God gave us 10 Commandments to live by, and what we do in our beds isn’t one of them, unless you count “Love one another.” It doesn’t say love someone of the opposite gender.

      So the answers are:
      1) If you believe an act is sinful, don’t do it. If the act is one of true, compassionate, whole-hearted love, I don’t believe it can be a sin… but that’s just me. God’s opinion is the only one that counts. If you can defend what you’ve done to Him with your full heart, where’s the sin?

      2) Since the concept didn’t exist at the time (though homosexuality did), how can there be any prohibitions against it?

      3) See # 2. The Biblical passages are talking about other acts entirely. Read up on some scholarly examinations of the original Greek/Latin/Hebrew texts IN CONTEXT with the passages around them. It’s an enlightening study, and one that those who offhandedly quote King James’ version have never read. They’re just repeating what they’ve been told and don’t have all the facts.

      The Bible counsels many, many things we now believe are wrong and offensive. The way we treat LGBTQ people should not be determined by outdated beliefs. The Bible is a history book, a GUIDE to good behavior, but God gave us the ability to reason, and we should be able to figure out which passages in the guidebook are the result of ignorance and superstition, and which still hold true. Unfortunately for our LGBTQ children, too many people miss that point and hold onto their illogical fears.

      My gay son is just the way God made him, and I love him because of who he is, not how he is or isn’t wired. He’s been legally married (in England AND in California) to the same man for 14 years. They have a daughter together, and I don’t believe their marriage is any more or less valid than my own, nor do I believe they live in sin.

      LGBTQ orientation is not abnormal or different from homosexuality. It’s natural. Birds do it. Bees do it and thousands of other insect, fowl and animal species do it, too. It’s just another variable in biological construction in God’s great big, beautiful world.

    • 1. Yes, the acts are; the person identifying as LGBT is not. All passages are in regards to behavior, not identity.
      2. No, there are not. Christ does however mention LGBT in reference to Eunuchs who are “born that way” (seriously, how many people were born castrated that it warranted mention in the Bible? It has to be in regards to LGBT). At the time, Eunuchs were considered those with no attraction to the opposite sex. Although Jesus does state that they should not marry, He also states that they should be accepted for who they are, and that they should abstain from sexual relations and focus on serving God. Lasting LGBT relationships are not built around sex any more than hetero relationships; at least the most lasting ones. Why can’t an LGBT couple ask for God’s forgiveness for their sins the way anyone committing sexual transgressions does; or any one who sins for that matter?
      3. No, sexual transgression is sexual transgression; unless you’re the Supreme Ruler, who can rape a 13 yr old married virgin by sweet talking her with promises of creating the Savior.

      I think this is the issue the church has with homosexual behavior; premarital sex of any kind is sin, and since LGBT are not allowed to marry, then any sexual relationship is viewed as sinful, and same-sex marriage is viewed as condoning the sin in order to excuse the behavior. I believe the church should view SSM like divorce; sinful disregard for God’s covenant, but socially acceptable in today’s church. Of course, all of this only pertains to those who believe sex is a sin in the first place, and is only my own opinion.

      • I beleive and support this explanation….i just am sad that..for people like us who tries to say that we are not hating nor condemning lesbians and gay for being that way but is still viewed as haters of LGBT because we emphasize the painful truth that man to man sex is a sin..even based on the bible, people call us unloving christians. WEll maybe what these people who call us judgemental would like to hear from us is that YEAH, I ACCEPT YOU AS A GAY, AND WHEN YOU GROW UP SON ITS JUST FINE TO HAVE SEX WITH THE MAN YOU LOVE. then my son broke up with his first BF,a nd HAVE SEX AGAIN in each relationship because HE CANT CONTROL HIS FLESHLY DESIRE…but ..we stand by the truth. If I hay son, I’ll explain to him lovingly and sincerely what is follwing JEsus is about.It’s about keeping yourself from sinning.Yes JEsus forgave us from our sins, he commanded us to turn from our sins. and by His power name and Might we can resist temtpation of sinning. And in this fact, I will tell my gay son the temptation he is about to face during his adulthood.I will tell him about the Love of Jesus.I will let him seek Jesus and for surely Jesus and the Guide of the holy spirit will give him the revelations on what is righteous and acceptable to God.THe sin thing is not just about gays here. SIN has many specific names. WHICH WE CHRISTIANS TEND TO STRUGGLE TO KEEP AWYAY FROM…we are not perfect..that is why Jesus gave us his Grace…but to be able to express our love to him…we should be sincere into keeping ourselves from sin.

    • 1. Downright Yes! Homosexual acts are sinful. It opposes the fabric of natural law and whatever fails to adhere by natural law offends God. Marriage or sexual intimacy is supposed to be a covenant act between a man and a woman. Just because a majority of purported adept folks institutionalize it doesnt necessary make it a moral act.

      2. Downright NO again.. Take Sodom and Gomorrah as an example.
      Re: It offends God.

    • Here are your answers

      1) Are homosexual acts sinful? Not homosexual thoughts, but the acts themselves.

      No. This is for several reasons. 1) The bible was an oral tradition started thousands of years ago. If you know the game Telephone you know what happens to original messages. 2) What was written when it was written was done in foreign tongue. This book has been translated over an over and most translations were done with bias of the translator or the one who paid for it. 3) The term and concept of homosexual did not exist in biblical times. 4) During biblical times they factually did not understand how procreation worked. All of these things bring into question any sexual teaching from the bible.

      2) Are there scriptures that tell us being in a homosexual relationship is acceptable to Christ?

      Christ never once preached against Same Sex Unions, Same Sex Attractions, or Same Sex Actions. Christ also healed the Gay lover of a soldier. Considering Christ covered pretty much every other possible sin, it is odd that he left off what so many think is the greatest of all sins… NO?

      3) There are several Old Testament passages that call homosexuality an abomination (not exactly sure what that is by the way), are there other passages in the Bible that make these passages void?

      There is NOT ONE Old Testament passage that calls homosexuality an Abomination. If you read a Bible that uses that term toss it out. It is not worth the paper it is written on. It is fraudulent in message and not honest. In total there ar 6 potential passages that some refer to when bashing Gay people. Please just read all of the laws of Leviticus and tell me if you think that Book should be taken seriously at all. Everything under the sun is an abomination. But regardless of that fact the 5 primary passages the anti gay folks point to have nothing to do with gay love and attraction but have to do with: Gay rape, Gay prostitution, Gay religious sex worship, and Gay pedophilia almost all always done by married individuals. Thus they are committing adultery. The last passage is almost certainly a huge translation failure.

      There is your answer. Even if you give a semblance of credence to the Anti Gay folks I think it is clear this is anything but a clear issue. And to ostracize an entire people of this ambiguity is the epitome of Anti Christian behavior.

      Do a google search and you can find may scholarly pieces of what I just mentioned.

    • “As a Christian who believes that God does not want us to live in homosexuality, the best thing for me to do is to pray for homosexuals and that God reveal His truth – not my truth – to them.” Guess what Kelli… God has revealed his truth to millions upon millions of Christians and that truth is there is nothing sinful about being LGBT nor about forming healthy loving relationship with same sex partners. If you grow up Christian and LGBT you likely know no greater torment. But at some point it is revealed to you no matter how much you pray and beg to be released of this torment it does not happen. And eventually it is revealed this is how you were created and live your life as you were intended to do.

      You say you wanted to understand and you spent a whole 2 days studying the issue and you know proclaim an absolute understand of a scripture written thousands of years ago by individuals with cultural and scientifically ignorant biases but you are ready to proclaim the truth. Kinda scary really. I recommend you look a little harder. I also recommend you look at the many passages which minimize women and the Bible and try to figure out why they are wrong but these mere 5 or 6 passages are definitive (in your mind).

      A true scholar rarely quotes individual passages as definitive and the reason is not passage can merely be informative on wording alone. On must look deeper at history, bias, science of the time, and context. Quoting a mere passage never meets the test of scholarly understanding.

      Good luck on your journey to understanding.

  7. Thanks for articulating the God intended message of love that every human being needs to hear and be reminded of, even those who find themselves lacking it….blessings! Ron N.

  8. Amen brother! Parenting is unconditional love and my cup runneth over. And if a child has no sense of home how distructive that would be. You are the man!

  9. Beautiful words. Thank you for this beautifully written post. It is powerful and precious. I will share it far and wide. Sending love to you, my courageous friend, for the good work you are about.

  10. Bottom line, we are all born into sin, which is why we all need a savior. To say, “oh well, that’s the way God made me, so I will just stay in that condition.” is not the message I hear from God and his word.

  11. My partner and I have talked about this topic several times before. He is open-minded, but I grew up in a conservative christian home (in a country where homosexuality is a crime). However, I have come to the realization that one’s sexuality should not be used as an excuse for despising them.

    Here is what inspires me in life:

    Matthew 22:36-40 — New International Version (NIV)

    36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

    37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

    Thank you! God bless you.

    • Thank you…. it almost moved me to tears. I posted some time back about the pain and consequences in my life from not having someone like you. Whether it is your own children or the kids you work with, you will change the course and very essence of their lives. You will give them hope for a life filled with love and happiness. Priceless.

  12. Thank you for this lovingly and wonderfully written article. My father was an Evangelical-style pastor. He and mom wrestled with this mightily, but never disowned me. My, how things have changed in forty years. I reposted this article on FB as this NEEDS to be shared with a larger audience. Blessings to you John.

  13. My daughter came out about a year ago. If anything, it’s made me love her more, if that’s even possible–for being honest and brave and for trusting us to tell us.

  14. AMEN!! I have four beautiful children and two of them are openly gay and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love them just as much as the other two. I really enjoyed reading this article because I to whom is did not grow up in the eyes of the church but I do believe in God have wish to become part of a church but have been very scared because they would except my whole family. We need more people who are as excepting and open minded as you are. All the things you have said you would do for your children I have done for mine. I want to thank you for sharing your story.

  15. Yes to all of what you wrote, especially the end recording all the tender moments of parenting and why I don’t care about what an extended family member believes. That’s how I/we feel about our son. He’s the same brilliant, handsome, funny, athletic, artistic, caring, thoughtful boy he’s always been.

  16. I prayed this before I had children…I had read a book about a family who rejected their son when he came out to them and how they relationship with him for a time and regretted it. I prayed that I would never do that to my child! I believe that was God preparing me for the day that my son did come out to me. I was actually proud of him, and I felt honored that God had prepared me and trusted me to raise this beautiful boy. Thank you for your validating words – Amen!!

  17. Thank you so much, this is so beautiful. I wish every pastor and parent felt this way and said it out loud. I am a Christian and my 30 year old son is gay. It was hard to be out as a family in church when he was coming out circa 2002. Many comments were well-meaning, but began in hushed tones as if we were talking about a terrible scandal or illness, not an amazing young man. I find it funny because my son is the one who brought this whole family to an active faith. My son was the first to attend church and truly believe and be baptized… his step-dad, uncle, mom, aunts, cousins and siblings all followed and continue to love God be involved in a church community. Thanks again, I will be sharing this over and over.

  18. I am seeing this from the very opposite side of the coin here…I am a Christian parent of a trangender daughter who wants the world to know that she is a male. Your implication that you are OK with your children being gay is laying the ground work for them being deceived and bowing into false prophets or teachers or leaders of the LGBT culture.
    I understand that you have heard the cries of the teenagers coming to you…confused about their sexuality. Please know that satan is the author of chaos and deception.
    I could emblellish your interpretation of Psalm 139 and make a presentation of what a female is and a male is, however, that would not be seen as an “understanding of scriptures” because I am not of the same mind as you.
    I can tell you that I sincerely pray for and love my daughter to the moon and back, however, when she was in college
    is when she decided to “come out” as they say. I did not abandon her, but she abandoned Christianity and us as her family, althought she claims she has no family at this moment…I pray and ask the Lord to bring back my prodigal daughter and restore her to her God that she professed and laid claim to as a child of 6 yrs.

    • Lilly, I am very sorry that you’ve experienced estrangement with your daughter, but I will simply say that there is no prayer that will “restore” her, if to you, restoration means making her straight. The only prayer that is worth praying, is that your daughter will have a relationship with Jesus, but that will not necessarily be measured by sexuality, but by a life that seeks God.

      God made every child the way He made them, as much as your own heterosexuality is a part of you. I think blaming Satan is a disservice to God.

      You may interpret Scripture as you like, but you and I will both need to admit that there are things that are far beyond what we can fathom, and that ultimately our information is incomplete.

      I will pray for restoration between you and your daughter, and that will likely involve a move toward the other. Blessings with that as you both move ahead.

      I appreciate you reading and commenting.

      • Wait a minute, johndpav. I am a woman married to a man who wrestled with sexual identity issues for years and years. He was raised with a very conservative theology that offered nothing for a Christian feeling gay. Today, praise God, there are many good ministries out there that offer truth, real hope for healing, and restoration. My husband did experience restoration and healing about 10 years into our marriage. He believed for years, as you seem to, that people are born gay or straight. He believed he was made ‘different’ and that there was no hope that he’d ever be free of unhealthy homosexual attraction. He thought he was stuck in a ‘no man’s’ land. But he wasn’t. He didn’t change God’s truth to make himself more comfortable, but pursued God’s truth passionately and found that God offers restoration from all sins. We’ve now been married for 25 years. We don’t have a perfect marriage, but we have a darn good one. I’d marry my husband, and walk the same road again, knowing the outcome… and knowing that God is also working in me… to heal my broken places and misconceptions. For any seeking hope and restoration, I’d suggest looking up Dessert Stream Ministries or Leanne Payne.
        And Lilly… keep praying for and loving your daughter. The faithful prayer of a godly woman availeth much!

      • John,

        I think it’s important for someone who wants to work with queer people, as you sincerely seem to, to speak about them correctly when you speak about them. As far as I can tell from Lilly’s post, she is the mother to a person who was assigned female at birth, but identifies as a man. It’s important that people recognize that he’s a man, not a woman. Calling him a woman is as disingenuous as calling a gay person’s boyfriend/girlfriend their “roommate” or “friend”. This isn’t intended to come off as a personal attack, I’m just really passionate about trans people, since most other queer people tend to gloss over them. I don’t know how familiar you are with gender theory, but looking up the “genderbread person” is a really good place to start. I appreciate the post!

    • Keep praying and loving her Lilly. You can still stand firm in the Scriptures and show love (it’s actually the only truly loving act is to share both truth and love). This is the hardest issue American Christians are walking thru in a long time, and as long as you continue to hold fast to your belief in the authority of Scripture and love of Christ, then your daughters relationship with God is between God and her. Pray God softens her heart, strengthens her faith, and renews her mind! I hope restoration comes in this life – but God will restore all things one day.

      • TLynn thanks for your message, you are right on,
        we do people a great disservice if we tell them that Christ cannot restore them and save them from sin,
        homosexuality is not genetic and it is completely curable,
        our liberal anti-Christian culture wants to glorify sin and wants us to turn away from God and His Word and instead believe the lie that abnormal sexual relationships are ok (including fornication and pornography), which means the Bible is old and outdated, God is not to be trusted so we should change the definition of marriage and family so that it doesn’t fit God’s plan,
        the homosexual lobby is anti-Christian they’re misleading and will ruin our culture

        • Dazell, Homosexuality is genetic and hormonal. It begins in utero. Look up Prenatal Hormones and sexual orientation. It begins in utero, and ends in puberty. Testosterone is the final assigning orientation hormone involved. A medical book in Endocrinology has the information in there. An Endocrinologist can explain as well. It is complicated.
          You also stated that it can be cured, I hope you are not speaking of reparative therapy, that of which is illegal in most states now, and the American Psychiatric Assoc. no longer uses it. It never worked.
          Also, Exodus International, never worked either and caused more harm then good.
          So I want to know the “cure” you speak of?
          I am sure many others do as well.
          Please, you could help so many people if you have the cure.

    • Lilly, I, too, am very saddened to read that you and your child are estranged. There is no worse pain for either of you.

      I wanted to step in here to say, from experience, that when we believe that our LGBT kids are “deceived and bowing into false prophets or teachers or leaders of the LGBT culture” or take the road that they are confused about their sexuality, no matter of our saying how much we love them is going to make a difference. What they are hearing from us at that point sounds like this: “I love you BUT (you are deceived/confused/bowing to false prophets for believing that I as your parent should be okay with this).” The “but” negates the “I love you” in their minds. There was a time I was sending the same mixed message to my gay son – a message of “I love you but I don’t love who you are,” which was clearly interpreted as, “I don’t love you. You must change to straight before I can love you.” It took a rock-bottom experience and nearly losing him from this earth before I finally understood that my mixed message was pushing him further and further away not only from me but also from Jesus. I think this is why your daughter has abandoned Christianity and may feel abandoned altogether. As John has expressed with much eloquence, she cannot change who she is. This cannot be prayed away or re-thought or altered. The most important aspect of who she is is not sexual but is her identity in Christ as a member of His Kingdom (“where there is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male or female, for all are one in Christ Jesus” – Gal. 3:28).

      This is a difficult and often frightening journey for both of you, and I want to acknowledge that. Something that has helped me in our journey is remembering that fear should not drive our decisions; love is the only motivator. I will join John and others here in prayer for restoration between you and your daughter.

      God bless you.

    • I pray for you Lilly.really…I pray for your daughter that wherever she may be she will find Jesus..all she need to do is call to HIm.And I also in one…beleive that this article sound too beautiful, but I feel like there’s some hidden tone , confusing message in it. Restoring is same as making her way straight. That she knows she’s lesbian.She’s happy about it.she will feel god’s overflowing love. She will not fear nor be confused anymore.She will see your love for her.I pray for her

    • It doesn’t sound like you are trying to be accepting at all. You think it’s some disease that can be cured. Unfortunately it’s not. You are obviously pushing her away with your beliefs. I had a mom like that and she is still like that to this day. I’m now an Atheist because of the HATRED I saw in the church. It’s a shame really but the church did it. And luckily I didn’t kill myself because in the beginning, I wanted to die. Luckily I had enough strength within me to not go that route. Be warned the more you push your beliefs and try to change her (by telling her she is some sinner) the farther from you and the church she will go. It’s not an opinion, it’s a promise.

      • I’ve got to say something here, and I mean every word of it.

        Some of you people who claim to be “Christian” are some of the worst people I’ve ever met in my entire life. You use God’s name to sanctify your hatred. You used God’s name to be prejudice. You use God’s name for your own personal way of disguising your hatred of others.

        You are NO different than any other religion that uses their Higher Power as an excuse to kill others. You just aren’t “killing” people. Do you not realize religion is how war, countries, and even new churches are started?

        Damn, people….why don’t you grow the hell up and stop thumping on your bible thinking you are the one hanging on a cross somewhere? You think that because Jesus Christ was crucified, it was for YOUR sins? NO. It was NOT for YOUR sins. He died for ALL sins.

        YOUR definition of “sin” might be different from His. His definition of sin might be different than YOURS.

        ALL of you need to get off that cross. Our higher power already owned that wood.

  19. Thank you. Thank you.
    I came out to my family earlier this year (has it only been a year?). And while they still love me, they definitely do not enjoy my not being straight. My mom constantly has me hiding it from people she knows, and my dad and brother still haven’t even acknowledged it at all.
    But this… This is what I crave, what I did crave, when I came out to them. It tears me up that they’re so ashamed, but it’s not like I can be anything different.
    And just… thank you. It’s nice to know that not all hope is lost. 🙂

  20. I enjoyed this, thank you for allowing love to guide you.

    I am curious though, would you react the same way if your child came out as atheist? I feel as though you would pray for them to change then, even if they enjoyed life, laughed, loved, and dreamed just as many atheists do.

    Forgive me for steering off topic. It is close to my heart as my minister father did not speak to me for an extended amount of time due to coming out as an atheist. We are trying to have a relationship again, especially for his grandkids but I feel his disappoint in me. Peace, Holly.

    • Hey Holly,

      That’s a great question. I’m a little different as far as many pastors go, in that I don’t believe that life is a clear “yes” or “no” to God. I’ve spent years earlier in life as an Agnostic, but I was still seeking, and still trying to live an honorable life. I believe God was still pleased with me, and wasn’t angry that I hadn’t prayed some magic prayer. I’ve also seen the damage done to pastor’s kids, as their parents tried to force their beliefs on them, or as the children lived under the pressure of not veering from the family faith.

      I’ll teach my kids as best I can and guide them on the road, and I’ll love them whatever decision they come to.

      Appreciate you reading and commenting. Stay in touch!

  21. This is without a doubt one of the most beautifully written and expressed sentiments I’ve ever heard. More pastors like this might actually have helped me maintain my faith in not only a god but mankind in general. And, if an agnostic is allowed to pray, I pray that every gay child, born and unborn, will grow up with a parent like this! Come to think of it, I pray that every child, gay or straight, grows up with parents who think like this.

  22. I really love this post, especially as someone whose family has been (and is) torn apart by shame and condemnation from many Christians regarding the spectrum of human sexuality.

    which brings me to my critique of this post– while the heart and tenor of this post is to be inclusive, etc., your note about choosing to use “gay” in every instance because it is easier or quicker causes some pain. What if your children are bisexual, trans*, etc? if this post is really about “those you waited on for 9 months,” surely the wide range must be acknowledged, especially since so many children of this life who don’t fit into “gay” OR “straight” feel invisible and swept aside.

    I am a writer, and I understand that in posts like this one, the acronym doesn’t always fit linguistically (can it be an adjective? a noun? I think our language is still developing around this)–but I think there could have been some creative ways to wrestle with the differences–peppering the post with a myriad of names and descriptors, saying “sexual and gender minorities”, or talking about the many kinds of people your child could love would be great starting points.

    • Thanks for the kind words.

      It was simply a device (which I explained at the bottom of the post itself) to somehow encapsulate a large group of people. For me, the emotional weight of the piece was stronger with that simple word, rather than trying to illustrate the complex group of people we’re talking about. If I were writing something more academic or informational, I certainly would have used more descriptive, detailed language, but in the context of the post, I chose to simplify. In other posts, this will definitely be fleshed-out.

      I know you get that, and I totally see where you’re coming from.

      Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment.

  23. The implication of the post is that we should unquestionably accept a GLBT person as having found their ‘normal’ as God designed them. Having heard the stories and testimonies of several people from that community, I can tell you that is not always the best approach. Many in the GLBTQ community have been physically, sexually, and/or emotionally abused or traumatized during their youth. To overcome this tragedy, their psyche is looking for same-sex validation which can easily turn into same-sex attraction. To blindly accept them as having found their ‘normal’ is to possibly deny them someone who can speak truth into their life and help them overcome the hurt that they’ve received. Once they reach a point of acceptance and forgiveness then maybe they will find out that God didn’t make them GLBT after all, it was sinful man who did.

    • I disagree, Jeff, but thanks for sharing your perspective.

      Of course there are people who experience trauma, but the vast majority of people knew every early on, without any such abuse.

      I stand by the post.

      • Guess we are aware of different majorities. When I looked into this issue, I would say at least 70% of those in the GLBT community had experiences that could have easily had an affect on their sexuality. This goes the full range of events from the ugliness of same-sex rape to the innocent event of walking in on an old and extremely overweight aunt changing clothes in the bathroom. The gay friend I was talking with at the time I was exploring this issue agreed with me that those 70% of the people may have indeed became GLBT and were not born that way.

          • John: To your reply that you would rather err on the side of love, than spend time trying to fix people.

            First, and maybe you have answered this already in this thread, but is homosexuality a sin? I’m not talking about what one feels or has a same-sex desire. I am speaking of taking part in a homosexual act. Is that a sin in your belief?

            Second, do we Christians have any obligation to try and effect change in someone’s life from the practice of sin to one that has perhaps less sinful activity? It just seems to me that to say I will love someone rather than “try to fix” them, is a copout. I can do both, and rather than “try to fix” someone, can’t we follow biblical teachings to both love and encourage a life with less sin? It sounds as if you are labeling those who would encourage others to live without sin, as “trying to fix” those people. If sanctification is “fixing” ourselves, then so be it. Maybe I have it wrong, and I don’t ridicule gays or champion anti-gay agendas. But, if an LBGT person asked my opinion, I would tell them that in my opinion it is a choice that God does not want them to make, that He wants better for them. I’m not “trying to fix” them, I am simply offering an honest opinion that I believe is based on biblical truth, the same answer I could give for my sins as well.

      • I mean, I can see different roads leading to different places. There are many factors that shape all aspects of our personality. But my family is loving, kind, and has been there for me for the better part of 21 years, and I discovered at the age of 15 that I was gay. So it is definitely plausible to say that a happy, “normal” man or woman can be gay. It’s not always the product of abuse or mistreatment.

      • It is not a choice. I met with an Endocrinologist, PhD, and she taught medical students. She is now retired. She got her Endo book and there is an entire chapter dedicated to this very subject. People need to get educated about it and become open to science on this topic. It is genetic, and runs in families. It occurs in utero. It has also been linked to families who have twins in them. She explained it in this way; LGBT folks fall in to a spectrum, like folks with Autism. If a heterosexual man is on the left, and a heterosexual female is on the right, the LGBT folks are all in between. A very masculine gay man is over on the left. A trans person has the physical appearance and sexual organs of a man or woman, how ever, at puberty, when the orientation, sex assignment occurs, it goes in the opposite direction of the persons physical body. One can go to a medical school book store, a medical school, endocrinologist, and/ or Google to read more about all the genes that this involves. It also is directed by hormones, Testosterone, Androgen, and Estrogen in utero. Testosterone is the final deciding hormone at the stage of puberty. It is very complicated. I have spoken to many LGBT folks. Two conclusions so far, 1.) People are born this way. 2.) People did experience a child hood trauma and thus lean towards these feelings. One needs to ask “why” am I having these attractions. A PhD psychologist can help to unlock the truth. Then one can go from there as to accepting them selves, etc.etc.

        An Endocrinologist can help.

        Research : Prenatal hormones and sexual orientation.
        Sexual differentiation of the human
        brain: relevance for gender identity,
        transsexualism and sexual orientation

        I hope this helps.

        If a Christian, God makes us all. It is up to the person, persons, to carry their Cross To Christ. We must read the Bible with God guiding us, he will reveal the truth and interpretations, to us. Don’t JUST listen to your church leaders, read on your own, God will guide your heart. Pray hard for the truth, it will be revealed. We as Christians are to Love God, Love others, period. Folks have to form their own relationship with Christ. All sin is forgiven except the sin of not believing. Yes, we should try not to sin, if one looks at the relationship/sex issues in the LGBT as sin, again, that is between that person and God. Marriage is constitutional, atheists marry. If Christian and asking for God’s Blessing on a LGBT couple or their marriage, I lean towards, yes. God knows all about these folks, and if they are true seekers, he sees that. He will meet us where we all fall short. Thank God Jesus is our Savior. He took care of it all. Galatians is a great study for this topic. God’s Grace. It is a journey and one of spiritual maturity.

        Love, Mercy, and Grace.

    • JeffB: See, it’s this kind of untruth that spreads like wildfire within the Christian community and causes believers to look at my husband and me and our family (with both gay and straight children ) and wonder if our gay kids were abused, either by us or by others. This is simply NOT true, and it’s patently unfair to us to have such a myth promoted. We’ve had friends pull away from us because of this erroneous thinking, and it is a travesty. I can tell you that we knew our son was different from toddlerhood. Did we “cause” him to be different? Not unless you want to talk genetics and/or prenatal environment. Many straight people have been physically, sexually, and/or emotionally abused or traumatized during their youth; they’re still straight. No person can “make” another person gay OR straight. Do we have the power to wound? Yes. Do we have the power to traumatize? Unfortunately, yes. I have a friend whose father sexually abused her for years. The shame she endured from those horrible events gave her an eating disorder but didn’t make her a lesbian. Saying that we have the power to alter someone’s sexual orientation is like saying that we can plant an apple tree, call it a pear tree every day, and hope it produces pears.

      Please be cautious with your statistics, because they simply are not true.

    • I’m a gay man who listened to lots of statistics for many years that were thrown at me by conservative Christians. Chief among them were the claims of “tens of thousands” whose sexuality had changed from gay to straight. Those claims resulted in decades of fruitless effort (those claims have finally been soundly refuted and sincerely apologized for.) So… when I hear that 70 percent of LGBT persons experienced traumatizing abuse resulting in sexual confusion, I want some hard facts in the form of research and peer-reviewed studies to back up the claims. Personally, I do not believe it to be true, and it certainly does not describe the experience of ANY of the many LGBT persons I have spoken with regarding their early experiences of sexuality.

      • Yes, Rick, I bet it was Exodus International. They did more harm then good. They have now apologized, and help the LGBT folks in a different, more positive way.

    • JeffB you are correct and as Christians we need to steer people to God’s Word so they can know the heart of God and know God’s Biblical principles,
      God made man and He made woman, He designed marriage as one man and one woman and sex as a part of that marriage,
      homosexuality is obviously abnormal it doesn’t work biologically or physically (the plumbing doesn’t match up) also God calls it a sin, when God calls something a sin then there is a good reason for it, trust God He knows best

      • Oh trust me, it fits. If it didn’t we wouldn’t be having all this “Sinful” sex. The question I would like answered is why does your god get to dictate how I live? You can hold any beliefs you want but that’s how you choose to live. If I’m on a diet I don’t demand the world stop eating cakes and cookies. and while we’re on the subject of God, Creation and genders, Who was Lilith?

      • Funny… All people like you Dazell do is drive people away from religion. Well done… Oh and for the record just about every single species known to man exhibits same sex activity… hmmm I guess that makes it, well Natural and normal. Oh an one last think what makes you think the plumbing doesn’t match? You must know something I don’t. Oops, one more thing. GOD never called it a sin. OK done with silly comments now.

      • So what would you say to all the gay people who are already married then? In my country, it’s perfectly legal to marry another man or another law if you are so inclined. And even straight sex doesn’t always work physically – I have straight friends who can’t have children naturally with each other.

    • @ Jeff,
      Your theory that being gay is in result to some traumatic life circumstance is not only ridiculous, but insulting as well. Being gay isn’t a symptom of your past. No amount of therapy will change that fact.
      @John,
      I absolutely love this, thank you so much for sharing. We are called to love one another. Your blog was right on point with that message.

    • Your 70% figure seems to be grossly inflated in addition to making absolutely no logical sense. If a young boy is sexually abused by a male, logic says that it would scare him away from men, not cause him to seek out men. I was molested as a child by a male, it didn’t turn me into a lesbian. I was born heterosexual, therefore, I am heterosexual.

      100% of the gay people I know say that they were born gay. They didn’t choose it. They just are. They are also normal, loving, caring people with the same hopes, dreams and lives as the rest of us in spite of the narrow-minded among us who insist on denying them equality. Why do people insist on calling them all liars? Is it because you’d have to accept that your god made them exactly as he intended them to be and that you’d have to stop sitting in judgment? Who would you target then with your feelings of superiority? Why would these people choose that life knowing the hatred, bigotry, violence and rejection gay people are exposed to every day? It, too, defies logic.

      The problem isn’t gay people. It’s people who profess to have all of the answers based on ancient writings and teachings, done by fallible men, who undoubtedly interjected their own prejudices into their “interpretations”. Why is it that homosexuality is the only sin from the OT that you cling to? And the fact that the hatred, bigotry and rejection that gay people face every day is driven by people who claim to be christians is a sad commentary on, and a bastardization of Jesus’ teachings. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

    • None of those things happened to me, Jeff. I grew up in a loving Christian home and was never abused, or had problems with alcohol or drugs… Just a normal, bright kid who knew she was different and later tried her hardest not to be gay. It doesn’t work. Try to not be heterosexual for a day & see how that works for you.

      Some straight people will just never understand. That’s okay, because only God can judge me.

    • Oh Good God what a stupid arguement. There are straight and gays who experience trauma and abuse. It doesn’t make someone one thing or another. But kinda of interesting if a “straight” person if abused by an opposite sex person you would do everything to let them know they are OK and try to relive their mental anguish. For a gay person you want to instead inflict more pain, more harm, more torment.

      Well don Jeff. Very Christian of you.

  24. Dear John,
    I’m a straight man and father. I don’t believe in god, but I try hard to keep my children’s minds open, and I constantly reinforce the value of other’s beliefs and practices. As a pastor, you are addressing the christian dilemma of dealing with a homosexual child. I think there are non-christian parents who also struggle with this, which means that as people, we need to look within ourselves and not just to the scriptures. Posts like this, and many of the comments, bring me one step closer to god because I can seen that among his followers are kind and loving people. I also want to say that it is totally possible to follow the good word in a life that doesn’t fear satan. Lilly’s comments made me terribly sad for her and her daughter.

  25. To love someone and have them love you back is the greatest gift in life. Our children are exactly who we ,as their parents, made them. Gay, straight, blond ,brunette , blue eyes or whatever. Everyone has the right to find what makes them whole and happy. How does it matter to anyone else who makes you complete? As parents we should all just want our kids to find their happy and live their lives with love and dignity.
    Shame on parents who can not see that their kids just want to be loved and accepted for who they are. Parents it’s called genetics! You made them exactly as they are. It is biology!!
    LOVE THEM!!!!
    Well said John Thank You

  26. Thank you for such a touching and inspiring article. I too am parent to a gay child. And although frightened and angry when he came out to myself and his father many years ago, we have quickly learned that it is not the end of the world….he is still my wonderful, bright, selfless son that we raised well. I remain proud of him and love him dearly and would not change a thing about him. And now we are blessed to know and be family to his sweet spouse. We are an open family, and have found great support and understanding from friends and family alike, with a few unfortunate exceptions for whom I all pray for. God’s peace…

  27. I have questions-

    If homosexual relationships are accepted by God why would He not reveal that in His word?

    If heterosexual sex (outside of the marriage bed) is the same as homosexual sex in God’s eye’s, why does marriage make one okay and not the other.

    Does God accept same-sex marriage?

    I am asking these questions because I am genuinely wanting answers. Answers that are backed by God’s word because the rest are just opinions. I love everyone easily but love and acceptance seem like such a fine line. I want to share truth in love that will bring others to a relationship with Jesus that will ultimately result in their eternity being in heaven. I don’t want to paint a blurry picture just because I’m afraid to offend. Jesus offended many. I know that only God can ultimately draw us into relationship with Him but I want to help and not hinder that drawing.
    Thank you for saying the things that need to be said but can you answer the questions that need to be answered?

    In Love

    • Hey there knb4evr95, and others who have asked these questions.

      I haven’t addressed gay marriage specifically, but we can hit that in a roundabout way.

      The problem is, the Bible is far less black and white as we wish it was on many things; on war, on sin…. and definitely on sex. In the time in which the bible was written, (even the NT), people still thought physical illnesses had moral/spiritual causes, (John 9), so we have to be very careful when simply trying to draw direct parallels to life right now, because, the Bible is clearly in some ways, reflective of the time in which it was written.

      The concept of sexuality as we understand it now, was never addressed in the Bible. There is no Scripture explicitly forbidding monogamous same-sex relationships, and so we really can’t definitively say what the Bible says in that regard.

      When what is translated as homosexuality is mentioned in the Bible (and this happens literally a handful of times), it often refers to a pagan, random, cultic act, one that saw hetereosexual men engage in acts of humiliation that were “against their nature”. It makes no mention of people who consider themselves LGBT from birth, and who love God and want to follow Jesus, because it simply wasn’t something that was addressed culturally.

      Divorce is clearly not God-h0noring and Jesus condemns that explicitly, but somehow we’re now OK for 35-50 percent of Christian marriages to end up there, and that’s because we have evolved/changed over time, and have decided that it is simply unfortunate.

      There is also certainly Biblical evidence of Kings and religious leaders of God’s people having multiple wives; where those relationships were not explicitly condemned, so again, it’s not as nice and tidy as we wish it was.

      We can (and will) debate all of this forever, but ultimately, I would rather love people and teach them about Grace through my treatment of them, and keep them connected to God. Whether one believes homosexuality is a sin or not, what we all agree on, is that God can and will do whatever He wishes in a person, not you or me. I’ve seen thousands of LGBT people pushed away from the Church and from God for good, by the actions of those who claim to speak in His name. If what another Christian calls “tolerating sin” or “enabling someone”, keeps them connected to Christ, I’ll see that as the right path every time. As a parent, I’ll fight for that.

      Thanks for reading and commenting. Greatly appreciate it.

      • Thank you for your reply…this is a topic that has given me much turmoil. I really wrestle with the implications that homosexual relationships are acceptable and pleasing to God. Can this be? In every scripture I’ve read that addresses homosexuality or the act of, it has been in a negative context. When given instruction concerning marriage scripture refers to husbands and wives. Therefore I don’t understand how we can paint homosexuality as accepted by God even in a monogamous arrangement. And here is where I struggle with love of an individual (which as I stated earlier comes easy) and acceptance of an individual’s lifestyle. On a personal note I have a daughter who has struggled with submission to any and all authorities over her her entire life. She moved out of our home at 16 against our wishes and has since brought her rebellion to an even seemingly higher level. I have to be honest in saying that her having sex with her boyfriend didn’t affect me nearly as much as her telling me she was possibly bisexual. Why is this? Fear? Most definitely. I’ll admit I have viewed homosexuality as a worse sin than heterosexual sex outside of marriage. Product of my upbringing most assuredly. I now am motivated only by my desire to see my children on the other side of this life in eternity with Jesus. I do not want to be motivated by fear. But it seems to be all around me.

        • Can I jump in here, knb4evr95? I agree that Scripture doesn’t seem to leave the door open for endorsement of homosexual behavior. But it doesn’t leave the door open for endorsement of gluttony, love of money, or pride. I should be convicted, without Christ, for all three. Praise God that my salvation is not determined by my behavior or worthiness. Neither is your daughter’s. I will pray with you for your daughter as the Lord brings her to mind. You are right… fear is antithetical to faith. Only He can free you of fear and replace it with hope and peace. Only He can free your daughter of the deception that prevents her from seeing His love right now. The hope for all of us is found in Him alone. His arm is not too short, and your prayers can reach the deepest places in her soul. She can’t escape them – even if she wants to.

      • Brilliant reply. I hope you don’t mind I have copied it and will likely reuse it down the line. I will of course give you credit when I do.

        Thank you for truly being a Christian on this topic.

    • knb4evr95, you mentioned that you “wrestle with the implications that homosexual relationships are acceptable and pleasing to God.”
      Although it was made clear that they were friends and gave no implications as to what sexual orientations they had, you need to look no further than David and Jonathan.
      David loved Jonathan enough to make a covenant before God (covenant is a vow– a direct vow, a vow that is never to be broken.). They became one soul. The one said to the other that he loved him “more than women.” They had to hide their friendship after the one ended up, after turning down the offer twice, being convinced to marry a woman, who was the daughter of a ruler (as a way of making peace with that ruler).
      God did not strike them down instantly and they went on to be looked favorably upon.
      So all we have to do is look at David and Jonathan and realize that God may allow men to be in committed relationships with other men. (I say may because none of us will ever know for certain- scholars who have studied this very issue for their entire lives until the day they died didn’t know for certain, so I highly doubt any of us would have the answer– only God Himself knows the answer– the rest of us can only assume to know- to know for certain would be arrogance which is a sin in the Bible.)

      Plus you must remember that there is a difference between “sex in the Bible” (it is only mentioned in context of rapes, and prostitution and idol worship) and physical intimacy between two consenting, loving adults who are in a lifetime committed relationship to each other and nobody else. A huge difference.

      Since committed covenant friendship/relationship between two adult men in the Bible is not condemned by God, then I can state that there is a chance that committed covenant relationships between two adult men in today’s age is not condemned either.

    • knb4evr95 you need to love your daughter and pray for her,
      her fornication is a sin and homosexuality is also a sin but you are correct that they are rebellion against God and she is angry she has severe emotional/spiritual problems,
      she needs to know how much Christ loves her and that He died for her, her sexual sins are outward signs of inner problems, but Christ can overcome any and all sins,
      I wonder what made her angry with God? identifying that may help her to work thru it and have a right relationship to God,
      you are correct that you do not want to be blurry, no one respects a wishy washy Christian, the clear Biblical principle thru the entire Word of God is that marriage is one man and one woman, sex is for married couples only and they have children which make up the family, some kings took on several wives but the Bible does not say that it was the right thing to do,
      don’t believe that people back in Bible days didn’t know what homosexuality was or didn’t have a word for it, the Bible lists several sexual sins in case anyone cannot understand “sex is for married couples only”, sex with corpses is wrong so is un married sex, sex with someone else’s spouse and yes sex between same sex people male or female,
      it is sad that our country is turning anti-Christian and that so-called Christians agree with them that we do not need to follow God’s Word when it comes to marriage and family, apparently they do not trust God,
      I trust God that He knows what is best

      • Thank you Dazell! Your words are encouraging. According to my daughter she is not angry with God. I just really feel she is being led astray. She has left the fellowship of our body of believers and is dabbling in things that have been forbidden in our home. She is now living with her boyfriend and his mother and doing all sorts of things we never allowed or approved and still don’t. Seems like your typical rebellious period. I pray for her safety every day and for The Lord to reveal the truth to her of how her actions are affecting her own future and the people around her. He did just that for me.

    • Jesus healed the same sex lover of the Roman Centuria, or PAIS, without even seeing him in person. Then He praised the simple faith if the Centurian before the crowd.

      Pais can also at times mean servant, but the Csnturian used the more common word for servant, doulos, when talking about his actual servants.
      Jeses healed the Pais, but doesn’t say anything about making him heterosexual.

    • THis is merely my opinion on premarital sex being the same sin as these gay couples who our states are simply no allowing them to get married. The fact is yes I believe sex is sacred and our bodies are meant for the one we marry. However apparently when there was separation of church and systematics marriage was not considered. The fact is, the good christain gay couples feel the same way I’m sure. They are with the one they love, it is a sacred bond they have between themselves and God because our states step in and speak for God and say NO! Not because they just want to go out and have premarital sex. So they celebrate a sacred bond between themselves and their God through love and prayer im sure because they “allowed” i legalize the bond through state and judgmental churches lead the wrong direction through judgments. I feel compassion for these people who are being told they cannot have this sacred bond because “we say so!”

  28. I just want everyone to know it is possible to be a Christian and be gay. I am engaged to a woman whom I love very much, but I grew up in a very Southern Baptist home. I am believe in the Lord with all my heart and soul. He is my firm foundation. I am currently studying to be a Pastor, and love being apart of ministry. It is my greatest joy. I too thought it was wrong until I decided to look for the answers myself. I was tired of hearing what others interpretations are, and after all I believe in the Word of God. I did my own research, and came to a completely different interpretation than what I have been told my whole life, and I’m okay with that. I would love to share my thoughts and scriptures with whoever would like to think for themselves and not what they are being told to believe. Email me at twofishytacos@gmail.com. Love to share (:

  29. Lilly, did you ever think that your “daughter”(to which I will respect his wishes and refer to him as a male because well obviously it is who he believes he is internally and isn’t surrounded by the insecurities and falseness of physical appearances which seems to be where you still sit.) chose college as a time to come out because he had more confidence or independence of you and was hopeful to you accepting him as the same child who you raised with the same heart within, instead of focusing on whom he might date, or because again you are looking at the physical nature of your son and not what matters most, his heart and his love and if he has a love for Christ or not. You can pray all you want but at the end of the day it seems you need to pray for yourself, to be a better loving parent and to open your eyes and your heart to accept people for how they were made and not how you wish they were made.

    Jeff-Your implication that those in the LGBT community are looking for same sex validation which turns into attraction as a way to overcome abuse is ignorant beyond a reasonable scope. While some get abused not all are abused by someone of opposite sex to turn them to seek love and attraction from the same sex, what does it say about a man who was abused by a male as a child? Does it mean he has to be straight because he needs to seek love and validation from the abuse? Meanwhile I can see how well versed you are on the lives of others, especially because a woman, made from a rib, ate an apple as told to by a snake… Please explain to me if not made in the liking in the eyes of God, then what? All gay people are just Satan’s army? Yet I could probably find more faithful, committed, caring, loving gay people than some straight people and yet I could find some real hateful ignorant gay people too, but I would normally just refer to them as ignorant people not reflect their sexual identity as it really doesn’t matter but seeing as this really is the topic at hand, I am.

    LOVE IS LOVE people! Those who are in the LBGT community are living in a world that is so blinded by ignorance that it really is pathetic. I don’t care if you are tall, small, white, black, purple, gay, straight or otherwise. I care if you are a good person with a good heart who loves and protects your children and family, and that you are faithful to your spouse, and that you are not being a bully, that is all that matters. I guess that it would matter if you are a person of faith who wants to preach about God, that you are actually being kind hearted and non judgmental. People are so wrapped up and focused on “gay marriage” what happened to it being just a marriage where two people love each other and are committing their lives to each other in front of God, friends, and family? Why is it such a big deal that a kid have two moms or two dads? Shouldn’t it just be the kids is lucky to have two loving parents whether its a mom and dad, two dads or two moms?

    I guess I will end my “rant” and really, truly, hope that each one of you reading this will put yourself on the other side and open your eyes, and your hearts, and especially your minds. Stop putting labels on everyone, look at the person from the inside, not all this other layered stuff.

    • Well if we are validating sin now and relying on Christ’s Salvation, then y should I be faithful to my spouse. Its the way I was born. Its in my genes. I’m a player. I LOVE God. I LOVE Christ. I go to church but just like those kings mentioned above, I need more than one partner. So respect NY wishes. Dont talk around me in hushed tones. And dont call me a sinner. I am polygamous with knowledge and acceptance from my three partners. I am hurting no one. Does this sound OK?

      • @fatim181: As long as you are honest with your partners, I see nothing wrong with being polygamous 🙂 I hope you and yours are all happy and I do not believe you are a sinner in that regard at all.

  30. John, this is beautiful thank you. I knew my son was gay from about 3 years old, but prayed against it day and night in grieving, pleading prayer that God would intercede. He had never been molested and I couldn’t understand why the little boy that God gave me, and that was beautiful and loving would also wish he were female and ask repeatedly when his penis would fall off. In my ignorance and fear, I caused him to hide his true self and kept waiting for God to ‘heal’ him. He himself as a teen used to beg God to change him and take away his same sex attraction, finally believing that he was better off dead than gay. With every hint of his ‘gayness’ I became more extreme and more fundamentalist, trying to build an ‘ark’ to protect him from ‘gay influence’. My ignorance and fear nearly cost him his life and may still as he has suffers bouts of depression from years of believing all of those things we hear in Christian circles about the deviancy or brokenness of gay people. If I could have my time again I would show him nothing but love and acceptance from the very beginning. He would know that is was possible to be a Christian and gay, instead of him now believing that God’s nature is unforgiving, demanding and cruel- to create him and yet condemn him to hell for being the person He created. My home would be a safe haven for my son where he could truly be himself and feel totally loved and accepted for exactly who he was instead of a gruelling and alienating theatre where he played a role 24/7 that was not who he truly was.

    • Lynette, this is one of the most eloquent descriptions I have heard, and the reason why I wrote this post. Your story echoes so many, and while I am sad that this has been something you all learned after great pain and difficulty, I’m glad that you have arrived at this place, and that your son is alive and here to experience it.

      This is why I do what I do. Thank your for sharing this. It is a tremendous gift.

      If there is ever anything I can do, please let me know. Blessings to you and your son.

    • Lynette,
      Thank you for sharing this. I know it can’t be easy, but what you said has touched me. As a young mother, I hear your words as the warning that they are. Time is short, I gotta love these young babes.

      • Blessings to you Meghan, don’t repeat my mistakes and share with anyone you can, you may be a safe haven for someone else’s child one day.

    • You know what? We all make mistakes. We do. But I bet you anything that if he heard you talk like that, if he hasn’t already, he’d be pretty darn proud to call you his parent.

      Please don’t beat yourself up forever, if you still feel guilty. Your son will be happy, I promise. Sometimes life is like walking a long and scary road, but it’s better than standing still forever.

      Chin up, sweetheart. Love =)

  31. Thank you for this writing. I truly love this. This is exactly how I feel although I could not have said it nearly as well. I have 4 children of which 2 are gay. I love them all the same….yes they each have their own personalites but that’s what I love!!

  32. Thank you to everyone who has shared stories of you, your parents, and your children regarding this issue. These are all beautiful, even though many are sadly very painful.

    I am grateful that this post is resonating with many of you, and that you are finding some of your story in it. If these words in any way provide some comfort, relief, or peace to you, it will be a great encouragement to me.

    Please share this post with others you believe it will bless.

    Thank you so much for the responses and affirmation.

  33. Anyone who believes homosexuality is a condition that can be changed are part of the problem of marginalizing a known group of wonderful loving people who are in the service, who are police officers, are peoples sons and daughters and as a parent of a wonderful gay son the ignorance of assuming something like seeing an unattractive woman can unhinge a heterosexual orientation is ridiculous. Or assuming that my son was abused, or experimented with sex until he became jaded and looked for sinful ways to have sex etc. It mean-spirited to make assumptions about people just because something has always been assumed in the Church. (Slavery and racial discrimination was supported by scripture. They fought hard to before society finally made the church change.
    I bet all that think along the church narrative have never loved anyone who is gay or knew anyone well who was gay because the church teaches that to fellowship with the sinner in his sin is a sin. It is like an ongoing ignorant circle.

    • John, my story is similar to Lynette Joy’s. My son was raised with a stable marriage modeled for him all his life. I was a stay-home mom, Bible Study Fellowship leader, AWANA leader, and Sunday school teacher. He was in Christian school, AWANA, and youth group. He accepted the Lord early in his life, and tried to live the most upstanding Christian life he could. He was never abused. He had a good father. In fourth grade, he came to me in confusion and told me he thought he had a crush on a neighbor boy. I completely disregarded that, telling him he was too young and probably confused. He never brought up same sex attraction to me again. He searched for answers in youth group, and then tried to figure this out on his own/ He tried dating a few girls and then ended up with years of depression culminating in horrific pain issues that lead to narcotic addiction and cutting. Suicide was a constant specter in our home. Those were years of absolute hell for my husband and me. We couldn’t figure out what was wrong with our good-looking, brilliant son who had a stable Christian family, but just couldn’t find the right girl. He was so lonely. Finally, last year at the age of 23, he came out to us. He was terrified of losing us forever, but he couldn’t live with the secret any longer. We have never, ever in his life seen him so relaxed, so happy, and so at peace. It was never his choice to be gay. If anything, he tried everything not to be gay. God did not take it away or change his orientation, and I don’t believe God expects him to live a life of loneliness without a partner and family of his own. I am not a deceived Christian. I have been on both sides of this issue, and I now see how wrong I used to be. Gay is who God made him. Thank you for your ministry!

  34. Can you help me with your thoughts on proper disclosure, re #1. Is it necessary for a family to publicly come out to everyone or do you view coming out as a family being only to those who are close, need to know, etc.?

    (I hope my question makes sense. I can clarify if it does not.)

    • Totally depends on the child, Paul. Since he or she usually feels trapped and isolated, what they crave is being able to live openly and authentically. However, if a child shared things with theIR family, but asked that it be kept within them, that would be the right thing. It’s about protecting and caring for the child. I’m just basically saying that I wouldn’t force a child to live in secret simply to make life easier for others.

  35. johndpav on September 19, 2014 at 10:19 pm said:

    Kelli, are you saying that LGBT people who believe in Jesus (and who still identify as LGBT) are saved? That’s one of the “rubber meets road” questions for Christians.

    Yes, folks that identify as LGBT are saved and can still be saved. They are born that way. The real hot pavement hits the road at the relationship and marriage sections…….some in the church affirm it, some do not. That my Brother In Christ, is the real debate. Continue to pray and continue in the conversations, there is much work to do.

    I posted above the explanations of born that way. 🙂

      • I have been in it for over a year!!! It is about Loving unconditionally. Some cannot “see the forest, due to all the trees!” Ha. The cherry picking of scripture is the worst, I think. We are not supposed to do that. If more Christians, more churches, and church leaders, would be open to the conversations and have open support groups in churches, a huge change in the distain for the LGBT community could occur. I have heard some church leaders say, (email me), well, the LGBT folks can not attend our church, some say, they can attend, but cannot be members, if we allow that, we condone the sin. Oh my. You must fit in to all the rules, and then you can enter? Reminds me of the Pharisees. We are better then you. They, the church leaders, just shut the church doors on the folks, and Jesus wouldn’t do that. ALL are welcome, come as you are. Then, and only then, can the LGBT hear the word and experience the love of Jesus. When some Christians do not reach out the hand of compassion, they just dismissed Jesus. What about all the other sinners, ones who sin, and the church leaders don’t know about their sin? They can enter!! OH, because they appear perfect, no sin in their lives?? What about the LGBT folks who live a celibate life style? They belong on the front row!!!!! 🙂 🙂 GOD SEES and KNOWS ALL!!!

        So far based on my work, the SBC seems to be the worst. They are not open to it at all. Why can’t they agree to disagree, no marriage, no relationship, how ever, you are still welcome in the house of God at the level in which you feel comfortable. Whose church is it? Who belongs in the pews, and whose pews are they?
        No , I am not LGBT. I am a heterosexual Christian who has a heart for this community and a standing strong in my faith Christian.

        Families and kids, especially, need more support!!! People get thrown out of their homes. Who wins when that happens? People become non-believers, because of the treatment they have experienced from the church!!!!

        I identify more with the ELCA, raised Lutheran, like to just be called a Christian. One has to read the Bible and read between the lines, to get the true message of the Good Book. Women can be Pastors in the Lutheran faith. etc. etc. Many churches have been divided many times by this very topic. Some may have to change religions. There are options to have a healthy psyche, remain a good Christian, and live happy.

        Religion can be messy, if one lets it. This topic is messy, but we must talk about it. Together we must work it out.

        It is simple, Love God, Love others. Period.
        Let the “Jesus Spirit” infect your heart. Show who Jesus is, by your response to others. People should see Jesus in you every day. Live your religion.

        Jesus street preached a lot. He was around the worst of the worst.He then walked away, and let those who wanted to follow, follow. On their time, and he let them work it out. It took some a long time to come around. This cannot be forced.

        Win hearts and minds for Jesus with Love, not hate, judgment, and by putting all the rules first.

        Be prepared for your “friend scape” to change.

        Prayer is huge in this process.

        Be Blessed.

  36. If I have gay children.
    Yes I have thought about this many times even though my children are still very young. After reading this article I thought about it even more. Here is what I got.
    1.) If I have gay children, you will all know about it. Not because I want to brag or that I am proud of it. But because it’s not really something you can hide. People have a tendency to know those kind of things. Also out of sight out of mind is no solution.

    2.) I will pray for them. Mostly because I always do and always will. But also because I believe in the power of prayer that is lifted up in the name of Jesus. But specifically I will pray that they will understand the sin that they are living in and allow Christ to set them free.

    3.) I will love them! Be they gay or anything else I will love them. My love for them is not conditional and never ending. I will love my children no matter who or what they become. But because I love them I will tell them no at times. They are young and still learning and at times they will make bad choices and as a parent I will do my best to teach them to do the right thing Biblically not just what they want to do. I love them and will continue to love them but I will not agree with any sin.

    4.) If they are born gay I will show them it can change. As a Christian i defenitly believe that people can be born gay. In fact we are all born into sin. It happened when Adam and Even sinned in the garden that from that point on we are born into it. I was not taught to lie it was something that I, by nature, knew how to do. I am a sinful man from birth and it is only by the blood of Jesus and his mercy and grace that I am seen as worthy to my God. I learned that telling a lie is a sin and sin does not please God so I try not to lie. I fail, constantly, but He helps me to overcome my nature and make me more like Him. Just because we are born sinners does not mean when have to or should stay that way.

    I will love my kids but God will always love them more. I will point them to Him!

    • Scott, have you not read anything people have shared on here? People are sharing their real life stories, not some imagined plan on how to fix a gay child. The message that you are sinful and not acceptable to God until you do a,b and c is permanently damaging to the child and their relationship with Christ. It would be the same as telling your left handed child that they are wrong and sinful to use the hand which is natural to them but instead must use the right hand, so as not to be different and to be the same as everyone else (which used to happen in years past). We as straight people come from a position of power and privilege, we are the majority, we get to define ‘normal’. If you believe that being gay is a choice, try to imagine yourself being physically attracted to another man. It does not come naturally to you, not because you’re Godly, but because it is not the way you are wired. The messages I sent my son when he was very young, are the same as you are suggesting above, it is not love it is a very subtle warning which becomes more blatant as they grow, more oppressive as you think them old enough to understand. And if your child happens to not turn out gay, you will think it is your parenting and God’s blessing on that, not that your child wasn’t gay anyway. However what you have done is instil in your child an intolerance, fear and perhaps a hatred of people who are gay. it may be dressed up in ‘love the sinner, hate the sin’, but is still judgemental, non accepting and superior, nonetheless.

      • When we live in fear, we miss the gift of the child God gave us. I KNOW God loves my child and I am just doing my best to love as God does. I am ashamed that I thought I “knew better” and showed him that he wasn’t good enough. God got my attention and I have been given grace from my child. Thank you, Lynette! When we know better , we do better.

      • Lynette,

        First an acknowledgement that we are sinful until accepting Christ (a,b,c) is not damaging to that relationship but essential. Secondly I have read all the comments and what I posted is how I will (or try my best to) raise my children. Which is what I believe John was saying about his own in this post. As far as changing handedness it really is irrelevant to what I am saying or to what anyone is saying. However I understand that we must relate homosexuality to something in order to make a comparison. As a strait male I am attracted to females. (Be that normal or something else is irrelevant) It is wired in me to want to be involved sexually with the opposite sex. This was particularly obvious as a hormonal teenager in high school. Everything inside me wanted to be with a girl. However the Bible says that premarital sex is a sin. I knew that and I wanted and ask God to help me uphold that. It was not easy, took loads of prayer and took sacrifice. But I remained a virgin until my wedding night. This was completely against the way I was “wired” but it is possible.

        • I’m sorry Scott, at least you had the hope of one day being married to the one you loved and were attracted to and a lifetime to be together, with societies and your church’s blessing. You weren’t told that you could never act on those desires. By saying that a child that is attracted to the same sex should pray on it, be delivered from it, not act on it and that it is sin, is denying them hope of ever having an authentic, hopeful, loving life. Same sex attraction, or same gender attraction is not only about sex it is about who you are attracted to , physically, mentally and spiritually. I guess this, like anything else can only truly be understood when we live through it, otherwise it’s purely hypothetical. We cannot make judgements on peoples lives and rights purely based on what we might hypothetically do if we were to be in a similar situation.

    • Lynette,
      I understand that my comparison falls short. However it does demonstrate that we can be and act different than our body tells us. As far this part,
      “We cannot make judgements on peoples lives and rights”

      First I don’t believe I ever said it wasn’t someone’s right to be gay. We can choose to do whatever we want. However if we are having a Biblical conversation, which I believe John established in this post that we are, we can make judgement based off of that. The judgment however is only if it is a sin or not. Which the Bible clearly states that it is. We cannot however send anyone to Heaven or Hell nor will I try to.
      As for this part.
      “purely based on what we might hypothetically do if we were to be in a similar situation.”
      I think you have forgotten what this original post was about. Not a man with gay children, but a man telling you how he will treat them if they are. Which is exactly what I did, you just happen to disagree with mine.

      • You said, “However it does demonstrate that we can be and act different than our body tells us.” So hypothetically you are saying although you are not attracted to men if god came down and told you sex with a woman were a sin and he told you to only have a relationship with a man you would be able to do that? Because apparently we have a choice? Is that right? It appears to be what you are saying. Because if homosexuals try real hard they can change the way they feel and spend their entire lives with someone they are completly not attracted to? That is what it sounds like you are saying. I’m just curious.

    • Scott you are correct, you have grasped the proper Christian view of homosexuality,
      just like any other sin, we Christians are not to wink, pat them on the back and tell them that they are ok,
      that is a lie, a practicing homosexual is living in direct rebellion to God,
      the Bible does say to care about them and try to lead them to the truth,
      Christians lose all credibility when they embrace an obviously abnormal anti-Biblical behavior,
      I’ve known “sissy” guys who did not live as homos,
      we do not have to act on every urge that we feel,
      are murders born “that way”, are pedophiles born that way? are adulterers born that way? if I just could not respond sexually to the opposite gender then I would be celibate,
      but there are ministries that help people out of homosexuality successfully, homosexuality is not genetic,
      quit lying to people instead help people out of the bondage of sin,
      God rightly calls homosexuality a sin,
      check out this youtube video to hear the testimony of a man out of homosexuality,
      http://youtu.be/cwmUNqrirO4

      • Unless I’ve missed it in your dozens of responses here, you still haven’t answered these questions at all:

        If you find out your 14-year old son, who has accepted Christ and been raised in the Church, tells you he loves Jesus and he is gay…

        What specifically do you do?
        What precisely do you say?
        Do you kick him out? If so, when?
        If he refuses to repent of his homosexuality, do you allow him to stay in your home? If so, are you condoning sin?
        Do you tell family members and your church family?
        Do you get him treatment? If so, what kind?
        What would he have to do or say to prove to you that he deserves to get into Heaven?

        If you’ve already answered this, please repost. If you haven’t please respond, as this was the context of the original blog, and what, in all the Scripture quoting and principles discussions, you may be avoiding.

      • pastor I’m not sure who you are addressing but I’ll answer,
        you and your friends here would have everyone give in to homosexuality just surrender and let it infect us completely,
        instead parents need to look for warning signs in their children just like any other problem, the sooner you catch it the better,
        also Christian ministries need to be ready to address homosexuality properly,

        you ask about a teenager coming out and you want me say that I’ll hit them in the head with a big Bible so that you can try to discredit me,

        but actually if my son came to me as a homosexual or addicted to pornography or addicted to some horrible drug etc it would all be the same,
        I’d hug him reassure him and tell him that we will get him help,
        I’d let him know that we will stand with him as long as he admits that he has a problem and desires to work on it,
        I’m not ashamed, we are not immune from temptation,
        if he decides to give in to his problem instead of work on it then I would not let him bring any gay friends into my home to rub it in my face,
        I’m not condoning sin, I’m taking care of someone who needs help,

        salvation is a different issue, he may have accepted Christ as Savior and be a Christian but cannot grow as a Christian while living in rebellion to God thru homosexual acts, same as other sins,
        of course he would still be the subject of my prayers and be on every prayer list that I know,

        I am not a counselor so there is only so much that I can do, it takes extensive therapy to get thru root causes of gender confusion or abuses etc,

        the book “The Complete Life Encyclopedia” by Minirth-Meier has a chapter on homosexuality,
        http://www.sbministries.org/members/sbm
        http://livehope.org/
        http://truthministry.org/
        also check out books and youtube videos by Christopher Yuan and his parents

      • Right, because it was homosexuality that made him mess up his life. Let us just forget about his sexual imprudence, drug dealing,stresses of dental school, and the years of, what sounds like, disciplined study since he was young. Because none of those things lead him to a reckless lifestyle, not a homosexual lifestyle, a reckless lifestyle that many straight people partake in and mess up their lives over.

  37. Scott, I might have written something very similar to what you wrote before I lived the life of a parent with a closeted gay kid. It sounds so simple in a 10-minute comment–words in cyberspace, but when those words are living and breathing in the heart aching reality of your child, God’s child, a child who is “everything they have been taught to hate,” they are not so simple. It’s not a “nature” to be overcome, it is not a behavior, but it is about the whole person, and the only way out is death. Tragically some find that way out, and fortunately some find another way out by coming out, hopefully to the loving arms of parents and friends who love them just as they are. I leave you with one question: if we proclaim that God is omnipotent, a giver of good gifts, and an answerer of prayer, then why doesn’t He change those dear gay Christians who beg Him for that change?

    • One Loving Mom,

      I agree that post a comment to a blog is much easier than living out something you say. I also hope to teach my kids that we never hate someone because of a sin or for any other reason. They will have sin in their life and how can you hate someone who is just as sinful as we are. As far as overcoming that in our life it is very possible with God’s help to be set free from homosexuality. I personally have friends who have been. I’m not saying that it is easy I believe it is only by His power that we can. Just because God hasn’t answered those prayers yet doesn’t meant He won’t.

    • God doesn’t change the LGBT community even with deep prayer because there is noting wrong or unGodly with being gay. All of that judgement is man made and literally killing kids. It is that simple.

  38. Pastor Pavlovitz,
    Let me begin by saying that I was deeply moved by your blog post. I’m not a Christian man, since I’m Jewish, but I can tell that you are a true man of God and that you honestly believe in the grace of God and his unconditional love for mankind.
    The points that you raised really hit home for me because they are the exact same ones that my boyfriend wrestles with his family: he is his family’s secret; they only love him so long as I am not around nor anything else that they consider to be related to his “gay lifestyle;” they continuously tell him that he is a disappointment because he is gay and the list goes on! It’s sad and heartbreaking for me at times to be a witness to this. If it was me, I would have cut ties with them a long time ago after what they’ve done and said over the years but he’s scared of loosing his family. Nevertheless, I would love for them to speak to someone like you. Someone who knows the Bible, because that’s what they use to rationalize their intolerance, and maybe educate them on what that book actually means instead of using it in such a disgraceful manner. So what are your thoughts on how to deal with people who use the Bible as their source for why me and my significant other are “disgusting” and “immoral?”
    Thank you in advance!

  39. Thank you for your excellent essay. I spent 40 years and a lot of blood, sweat and tears trying to change who I was. In the end, I was left with only one realization. Jesus didn’t want me to be any different than who I am. I know already that he Loves (Unconditionally) just as I am. I wish my own parents (both long ago deceased) had read something like this, but it wasn’t in God’s plan or time. I didn’t finally Come Out until I was 54 – and only after I was certain (in my own heart ) that God’s answer to my prayer for change was NO.

  40. Great essay! I have a younger brother who struggled with his sexual orientation by himself for years; when I think of how alone he felt, it breaks my heart. He is a fantastic human being, and altho he has lived with HIV since Jan 1984, and been disabled by the disease since the late 90’s, when my mom had a stroke 2 years ago, he’s the one who became her full-time care giver, which allows her to stay in her own home rather than a nursing home. I help out financially, but took a job across the country, so my help is distant. He keeps mom happy, which isn’t easy because this aging thing is not for sissies, and mom suffers not only from the effects of the stroke but also has alzheimer’s, dementia, and late-onset scoliosis, which has caused her back to fuse into 3 pieces. He has figured out things around the house to make her mobility easier and safer, and he cooks all her meals and makes sure she gets her medication. My older brother is heterosexual and fought with mom shortly after her stroke and has vowed not to speak to her until she apologizes for whatever she said! Which one of these men is acting the way Jesus wanted us to when he said, “Love one another as I have loved you.” I hope you don’t have kids who are gay, just because they will face so much more crap from the world; but at least they have a great dad who loves them unconditionally, and they will help them navigate their way. You are a fine example of a Christ-led life. Thank you.

  41. One think about this god states in the bible that man with man is an abomination and a sin. So when God come for his poeple they will not go. As a pastor you should now the bible and should not put your self or your family before God. His word was written. Should not be change to fit your life style.

  42. Clergy offspring already have been burdened with undo scrutiny by misguided congregants their whole lives. We love our son AND his husband to the Nth degree! We wouldn’t have it any other way! Thanks for the common sense and compassion.

  43. Brilliantly spoken! Thank you for putting yourself out there. I’ve always said, “The God I love and follow would never not love one of His own, no matter what!” My son is gay and when he told us it wasn’t in fear – it was in passing conversation. My response was, “You know we’re totally cool with that.” And he said, “Yeah, I know.” And the conversation didn’t skip a beat. Of course my husband and I cried later because we knew the hard road ahead of him. The prejudices, the haters, the religious who tell you that you’ll go to hell for being gay. We were afraid for him. He’s now 31, shining in his field and living life and loving it. He’s still not had a partner but we know when the time is right God will put a wonderfully special person in his life. We can’t wait! We want everything for him that every parent wants for their kids. Happiness and unconditional love.

  44. We can all pick and choose what to believe from the bible, however I personally believe the bible is a guideline for life, not a “do this-don’t do this” rule book. Jesus died for ALL of our sins, not just heterosexuals sins. The bible also states that we are not to judge others, for that is the job of God. Every single one of us sins, the only pure person to ever walk earth was Jesus himself. Don’t judge people for sinning differently than you.

  45. I would simply say that according to point number 4, you have a severely flawed understanding of human sexuality and how it is formed. Environmental factors have quite a bit to do with it. You’re correct, there’s not some magic expiration date or something or a magic formula, but children are every bit as much a product of their environment as of their birth. It’s a basic principle in psychology called “nature vs. nurture”. Essentially what you are doing is taking a defeatist stance that you as a parent have little to no control over who your children become, but nothing could be further from the truth. Your children learn a great deal from the home they are raised in, from their sense of humor, to the food they like, to the music they enjoy. Your children are watching you, and by default want to be like you and mimic you. It’s not until they experience something negative that they begin to feel out a new path. You can help guide that path though. Even if they experience things that you never did, your reaction can mold how the interpret their feelings. If your attitude about who homosexual are includes any activity other than who they choose to spend their life with, then you are putting your kid in a box that they may never escape. Don’t lump people together that way or you actually steer them toward destruction under the guise of “encouraging them to be who they are”. Society has become increasingly guilty of this in our effort to be tolerant and accepting, but what’s really happening is that we’re forcing people to follow a path towards living as homosexual s when they really didn’t care either way and their behavior just didn’t conform to what society has declared was normal for a heterosexual person.

    • Ben, Here is a new research topic for you. I have explained all of this in an earlier feed.

      Pre natal Hormones and sexual orientation.

      Sexual differentiation of the human
      brain: relevance for gender identity,
      transsexualism and sexual orientation

      People are born this way. It happens in utero.
      Happy reading, it is complicated. Genes and hormones my friend

      • Heide,

        Thank you for being the voice of reason in this conversation. As the mom of 2 gay kids, I am far beyond over having people on the outside of this suggesting that my kids “learned” from their dad and me how to be gay. What utter male bovine excrement! Straight parents have the superpower to “teach” their kids to be gay by either something we’ve done or something we’ve left undone? Really? Who knew! 😉 Just as people in the Middle Ages believed left-handedness was of the devil (but science and genetics later proved it to be an inborn trait), I fully believe that science will continue to enlighten us about SSA being an inborn trait.

        As you’ve stated, there is a lot of complicated reading out there. Sexuality is very complex and not a black/white issue. I would encourage anyone feeling the need to comment that my children, and others like them, have been taught or somehow had SSA modeled to them (or not counseled out of them – which is impossible, BTW), to start reading the science before weighing in. That seems fair and reasonable. Then we could have a conversation around this with integrity.

        Thank you for reminding everyone that these are people we’re talking about here, not “issues” to be solved. 🙂