People leave the church every day.
As a pastor, I am sadly witness to the myriad of reasons they give…
“It’s too big.”
“The music’s too loud.”
“So-and-so offended me.”
“It’s too cliquey.”
“It’s too slick.”
“I feel judged.”
“I don’t like the pastor’s clothes.”
And on and on and on…
As I hear these reasons, the first thing that usually comes to my mind is: “We failed you.”
But the failure does not come from us having big churches, or loud churches, or modern churches or slick churches.
The failure comes from us not teaching our people that these are not good enough reasons to leave a church.
When people walk away from our church and youth group because of a disagreement with someone, or the style of music, or the lights in the worship service, or a crowded parking lot, it makes me realize that we have not adequately taught them what The Church is, and why it is so much bigger than these tiny things.
It shows me that we have created or nurtured consumers; purchasers of a product, who will seek out the biggest and the best. They will head up the street when not entertained.
It reminds me that we have not engaged people in something of purpose; that we have allowed people to be bored enough to dwell on music, and clothing styles and building decor and sermon series.
It shows me that we have made The Church easier to walk away from than a gym membership.
The thing is, we’re not selling a product here. We’re not marketing a fad diet. We’re not pushing inventory. We’re inviting people into a life-altering relationship, first with One, and then with hundreds of others.
With relationships come mess, and mess requires commitment, compassion and compromise.
Real relationships endure flaws, and embrace adversity. Real relationships are built by stayers.
Are there reasons that are good enough to walk away from a church community? Sure; corruption, immorality, bad theology, racism.
The problem is, those are almost never what drive people from the vast majority of honest, loving, serving faith communities. Usually, they come down to style, personality conflicts and boredom.
So if you’ve recently left or are about to leave a church, ask yourself the question, “If I really believe what I say I believe about Jesus, is this a good enough reason to leave the community He has placed me in.”
Sometimes, mature faith is shown most fully, in how you learn to stay.
