Not long ago I was having a conversation that’s become all too familiar in my years as a Youth Pastor.
I was listening to a parent justify why his or her child didn’t really need youth group. After talking about the issues their teenager had with group (which included the hypocrisy of the kids there), they wrote something like this:
“So, the question is, is it better to attend youth group regularly and do all kinds of terrible stuff, or to not attend youth group and follow Jesus on your own or with friends?”
I didn’t want to point out two huge flaws in this question… It suggested:
– that all kids who attend youth group are doing terrible things (possibly true:)
– that their own child was morally superior and without flaws. (not true)
For lots of people, this seems like a logical question: ‘Why do I need the church to worship God?”
I don’t know, ask Jesus.
He was pretty clear that his desire was that his people live in community. His unambiguous direction, was that his people demonstrate his love as a “people”. Nearly all of the promises and commands of the Bible are to a group of people, not to an individual as we like to believe.
His desire was that his Church”, as it was so eloquently described by the Apostle Paul, was a living “Body”; with all the parts dependent on one another and responsible to one another. (The elbows can just run off on their own and “be with God”.
Somehow we seem to want to ignore this when conflict comes. We want to go our own way, and we rationalize why our faith is “between us and God.” But when does that ever work in other areas of our lives?
To use sports, for example… No right-thinking student would say, “I’m on the soccer team… No, I don’t attend practices or workouts, and I don’t participate in the games, but I talk to the coach on my own, so I’m on the team.”
The same goes for work and friendships and clubs. To be part of those groups, we need to put in the time and deal with the tough stuff.
When it comes to our spiritual journey, we want, frankly, to avoid the tough stuff.
When we are confronted or corrected or challenged, we want to go out on our own. My job as a Youth Pastor is often, to say the hard words to teenagers. These hard words sometimes make them decide they don’t need Christian community. We need adults to tell them they’re wrong.
Parents of teenagers, I know you are in a really, really tough spot. Your kids have a million things competing with the Church, and most of them are looking for any excuse not to go or to stop going. They go to youth group and encounter judgmentalism, hypocrisy and cliques. (Those exist where people are present. Should they avoid those things?)
But ask yourself these questions:
– Is it possible that a youth pastor knows even more about my child’s private life than I do, and needs to have the chance to speak into their life?
– Could my child’s issues with the Church, be because it is the only place they are asked really tough questions about their behavior or motives?
– As “nice” as my child’s friends are, are they championing purity, speaking honorably and living respectfully? (Will they question or celebrate disgusting Facebook posts or horrible language or questionable behavior by my kids?)
– Am I, myself, part of deep community in the Church, or do I only attend services? Am I hesitant to be in deep fellowship because of fear, conflict or doubt?
The bottom line: The Church is God’s plan, and by “The Church”, I don’t mean an hour-long worship service on Sunday. I mean, a day-in-day-out community, where one is authentic, accountable and invested.
I mean a place where you are challenged to grow, expected to serve and encouraged to mature.
Can you be a Christian without the Church? Yes. Can you grow deeply in faith without it? Not a chance.
You can’t do it without the Church.
Your kids can’t either.
