Have you ever been going through your day, feeling pretty good about yourself, and all of a sudden, you see your reflection in the mirror and you realize that something is terribly wrong; like a big smudge on your face, or a piece of spinach in your teeth, or perhaps most horrible of all: a big booger hanging out of your nostril.
It’s shocking, right?
What’s worse is when you realize that you’ve looked like that the whole day and no one bothered to tell you. Oh sure, lots of people were distracted by it, but they didn’t have the heart to say anything.
For some reason, you see someone with a hangin’ booger, and you feel awkward telling them, don’t you? It’s as if you’re attacking their character or assaulting their upbringing or questioning their moral fiber. You hesitate to point it out, even though it’s for their own good. It’s not like your making a value judgment on them, you’re just… pointing out their booger.
But a real friend points out your booger. You want booger-pointer-outers in your life! If someone loves you, and wants to save you the embarrassment of looking foolish, they will point that stuff out, even if it makes you angry or defensive or uncomfortable.
In our spiritual journeys, we need the same kinds of people. We need strong, loving people who will look at our lives; our words, actions, the stuff we post and the way we do what we do, and let us know if something looks messed-up. That’s supposedly what we want too.
We might SAY we want that kind of help, but the first time anyone says anything remotely critical about our dress or our language or our friends or our Tweets, we get defensive. The moment people question our conduct or our character, we immediately fire back with that retaliatory line, “It’s none of your business!”
Truthfully though, I think we’re actually pretty selective about people being in our business.
The other day, an older woman drove past me, about to turn and head the wrong way down a busy one way street. I honked the horn like I was in a parade, flailing wildly and screaming to attract her attention. “You’re going the wrong way!” I yelled, loudly enough to carry through both car windows. She gave that kind of embarrassed smile one does when realizing they nearly caused a traffic disaster, and then she turned around.
Could you imagine her yelling back at me, “If I wanna drive the wrong way, that’s none of your business!”? ”
“Hey, the bridge is out.” “Mind your own business!”
“Buddy, your house in on fire.” “Stay out of my business.”
“Dude, your dog is on fire!” “That’s none of your business!
We who claim Christ, are called to care deeply for the lives of others. In a very beautiful and real way, the follower of Jesus has to make other people his or her business. At some point, we step into people’s spaces and, motivated by love, “point out the boogers”.
The Bible shows underscores the truth, that you cannot really love someone without giving them some hard words once in a while. We have this myth that “love”, means you never criticize or question or call out.
The Old Testament prophets, Jesus and his disciples, and the leaders of the early Church, (all driven by intense love), ended up having to regularly deliver hard words to people, so that they could choose to act upon those hard words, and make good turns. This is the heart of Repentance. Because of this powerful, intrusive love, they were more concerned about delivering Truth to people, than those people’s response to them.
Good news often begins as hard words.
May you have people in your life who love you enough, to point out your boogers. And when they do, may you be grateful that they are in your business.
