Search
Close this search box.

Guy-nocology: The Fallout From A Man, Challenging Men To Be Men


Mangina.
Feminazi.

Learning new words can be… fun.

Last week I shared a few thoughts about men, and about the need for us to take personal responsibility regarding our interactions with women.

The heart of the post, was that regardless of what a woman does or doesn’t do, how modestly or immodestly she dresses, what signals she intentionally or unintentionally gives off, how much or how little she seems to value herself, our job as men is the same: control ourselves.

The challenge was from a man, to men.

It didn’t exonerate women from their role and responsibility in the slightest; it simply spoke directly and purposefully to half the population.

It seemed like a fairly sensible, reasonable, honorable concept; helping a man find his true manhood, in the strength that it takes to be accountable for what he thinks, sees, pursues, and touches.

Apparently, this is a foreign concept to far too many guys out there, (and strangely, even lots of ladies, who still somehow feel compelled to continually bring women’s modesty, into a discussion about men’s integrity).

In the flood of passionate, thoughtful, deeply personal, sometimes silly comments that followed the blog, there was a dark, heavy, oily impurity that was pretty alarming to me.

It was in the kind of hostile, aggressive, bitter sentiments, best captured in this response:

“Your sad little article belongs in the trash as well. There was a time when I would’ve tried arguing with someone like you, tried debating facts and showing you the error of your ways, but I learned long ago that it is absurdly pointless to try reasoning with someone who has partaken of the feminazi kool-aid. My hope is that, one day, one of the many women who have friend-zoned you over the years decides to breed with you, so that when the spawn of a feminist and a spineless mangina gets older you can instruct it with the same nonsense you filled your article with, telling that child that it should never alter its behavior based on the world around it, that it’s always someone else’s fault, so that child can get hit by a car, or eaten by a bear, or experience some other misfortune by adhering to your words of wisdom. Because in that moment, when you write another mindless article about how your child shouldn’t have had to wear a helmet or look both ways before crossing the street, all of your fans can finally see just how full of sh&% you really are. “

At first, to be honest, I just laughed at the immediate absurdity of the words; how silly it all seemed; almost an overblown bathroom-wall caricature of the manly men stereotype that I’d heard on talk radio and seen on YouTube comments sections.

But then something smacked me in the face like a New York, January morning: This guy’s real, and he’s serious.

I mean, he’s walking around right now.
He exists as a physical presence in somebody’s everyday life.
He’s a son; maybe a brother, a boyfriend, a co-worker, a spouse.

The reality dawned on me as I considered these words and others like them: These are actual flesh-and-blood men, whose lives intersect with actual flesh-and-blood women… and I shook my head, and then I shuddered.

I wrote the original piece because I knew that all too many men want to pass the sexual buck; to on one hand be tough guys who refuse to be”emasculated” by suppressing what they claim to be their God-given biological urges, while in the same breath, wanting to be seen as helpless victims of manipulative women, who incite the urges in the first place, simply by existing.

I guess I just didn’t realize how many guys were angry, and just how angry many of them were.

I’d like to sit across from these men and ask them: Which is it fellas; are we meat-eating, macho, Alpha males, just doing what we’re wired by nature to do, or are we weak-kneed wimps; under the thumb of any girl in tight shirts and low-cut tops who crosses our paths?

We just can’t have it both ways.

Guys, maybe I’m naive, and maybe I’m asking too much, but I just think we can do better than either extreme.

I believe we can have natural desires for women, and express them in ways that honor them and us.
I believe that I don’t have to check my manhood, at the door of decency.
I believe that when it comes to our interactions with women; we own what we do; period, end of story.

I’m really glad to have started a dialogue this week, and honestly grateful for the comments of men who vehemently, violently disagree with me on all of this.

They remind me why it’s always worth saying stuff you believe needs to be said.

 

 

Share this: