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Kirk Cameron's Dreaming Of A White, (Male-Dominated) Christmas


Kirk Cameron seems like a perfectly nice guy.

I believe he genuinely loves Jesus. As such, he and I are family. Sometimes brothers have to say honest, hard words to one another.

I bet if we were to speak face to face, I’d find him charming, personable, and quite endearing. I imagine we’d have great conversations about our love for God and family.

That’s part of the problem.

With nice guys like Kirk, it’s especially difficult to realize when they’re doing damage, and I believe that in subtle but real ways, he is, even unintentionally.

This week he released this video in advance of a book release called Saving Christmas. On the surface, the content seems perfectly benign, life-affirming, and downright heartwarming; a call to reclaim the “joy of the Lord” during the Christmas season and let it be a beacon for others.

If that was all it said, that would be wonderful.

The problem with the video is its target audience, and the one delivering it.

It’s another example in a long line, of something that we’ve become all too accepting in the Church: A powerful white guy, telling women how to feel and behave.

In the video, the actor not only lays the burden of rescuing Biblical Christmas joy, squarely on the shoulders of Christian women, but of a very narrowly defined definition of what one looks like. (It involves cooking and decorating and singing and telling stories).

Cameron’s delivery and tone have that sweet, nostalgic, Norman Rockwellian veneer that makes them go down smooth and feel warm and fuzzy, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t really dangerous to take internally.

His theology is one most American Christians have been quite comfortable with for decades, and one he’s probably convinced is really healthy and Godly. It’s the one that seems to forever and lovingly harken back to the “good old days”; those days when traditional Christian family values guided America.

I always wonder what “good old days” he and those who feel like him are trying to recapture:

The ones when black people were property, when they couldn’t use the bathroom where they wanted, when they were treated as less than human?

The ones where women were essentially the purchased products in marital transactions, the ones when they couldn’t vote, or work, or get an education, or run companies?

The ones where gay people lived forever closeted and in constant fear of physical violence?

The old days don’t look as good from everyone’s seat.

I’m not saying that Cameron directly advocates these dark part of our recent history by any means, but the Patriarchal, top-down Christianity he so often reflects, has certainly been one of the key reasons for the slow social progress of so many groups, especially within the Church.

Tradition is tough to shake and it’s also difficult to remember accurately. Cameron himself may not even be intending to send the same message, but I believe that he is. Christianity has been a man-run game for so long, that too many of us, women included, seem totally fine with it. 

Several such women took to social media yesterday to passionately and angrily defend against my perceived defamation of Cameron, and in so-doing, simultaneously and unknowingly attacked my position; that women should be able to decide for themselves how their faith and joy and personal roles are defined.

I’m not saying that Kirk Cameron is a bad guy at all. He seems like a really decent guy, actually; one who believes what he says. He may see women as equals, and not really think women are responsible for the joy of their homes.
I’m not saying that family and tradition, and making them the center of one’s holiday aren’t really good ideas. They are beautiful ideas, and Kirk Cameron and I would both want to deliver the same message.
I’m not saying that the world couldn’t use a lot more joyful Christians. It’s something I pray and advocate for every day.

I’m simply saying that maybe, just maybe, Christian men should stop telling Christian women how they should feel, or act, or express their faith.

(Not maybe; that’s exactly what I’m saying).

Some women do find great meaning and purpose in caring for their homes and in being full-time, in-home parents. (So do many men).
Some women absolutely love cooking and decorating and singing carols at Christmas. Some women; even good, Godly, joy-having women, have no desire to.
Some women have flourishing, vibrant careers, and get great satisfaction by using their God-given gifts in that way. That’s where the joy of the Lord resides for them.

I’m not against Kirk Cameron, or against guys who believe what he believes about recovering joy.

As someone who is often the victim of people misunderstanding my message, that’s the last thing I’d want to do to someone else, especially someone who claims Christ.

As a public figure, I’m often challenged to consider the power of words; not just what I’m saying, but how it’s received by others, especially those who have been on the lower end of the power struggle for so long.

I’m advocating for that here.

I’m not trying to wage war on Kirk. I am simply a Christian man, who respects and values women enough, not to tell them what joy looks like for their hearts, during Christmas or any other time.

In his video message, Kirk tells women not to let anyone steal their joy, and on that he and I are in complete agreement.

Ladies, don’t let anyone steal your joy; not even a man.

Not even Kirk Cameron.

(Note: Two days after this video, Cameron released another one, addressing men. You can watch it here. I will let you determine whether or not the second video was the result of the negative media coverage and pushback, or part of the original plan).

 

 

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