Christian, Let My Transgender People Go! (When Bigotry Uses the Bathroom)

Urinals2
Some days you read the news and you wonder how we’ve managed to survive as a civilization for millions of years without blowing it all up.

Today is one of those days for me.

This week Charlotte’s City Council voted 7 to 4 to approve new legislation protecting the LGBTQ community. These measures would allow these folks to shop and use public transportation and go out to dinner without being discriminated against (you know, like real human beings). Similar legislation is pending in many other cities.

Part of the new ordinance allows all people to use the public restroom of the gender they identify as.

Cue the predictable sky-is-falling, hand wringing and chest beating from so many of my professed Christian brothers and sisters, who rushed to social media the next morning to tearfully lament the insidious danger now certain to be unleashed on the stalls and urinals of the Queen City.

The assertion is that women and children are now in new and grave danger; not from Transgender folks necessarily (though there certainly were many suggestions of exactly that) but by predatory straight guys, who these religious folks believe will use this legislation for their gain, claiming they are Transgender and/or dressing up in women’s clothing in order to easily enter the ladies’ room to commit acts of violence.

What in the hot and humid Hell are we talking about here?

This is the kind of Don Quixote-esque manufacturing of a non-existent enemy that American Christians specialize in, in order to mask the fact that they are woefully uniformed, propelled by religious-fueled fear, and that they frankly find all this public and personal plumbing talk—icky. Their ignorance of the complexities of what a Transgender person is, causes them to caricature those people in order to fit the desired Christian narrative they’ve lived in, often reducing Trans people to cross-dressing female impersonators. (Too much Bosom Buddies and not enough Public Television).

That this represents some new public bathroom security risk is simply a myth.

What world are these people living in anyway? Where are all these supposed conversations taking place between strange straight men and the moms of elementary school boys, where the guys talk openly about their gender identity to cultivate trust and then proceed to follow the child into the bathroom and assault them without the mother’s knowledge? What massive hypothetical rabbit trail are we running down where such a scenario unfolds?

Whatever coming danger the opponents of this legislation are imagining for women or children, is already present. If sick straight men (who are overwhelming our societal predators) want to sneak into restrooms they don’t need to pull a Tootsie and claim they’re Trans to do it. Guys already do vile things and they aren’t seeing this LGBTQ anti-discrimination legislation as some welcome boost for business, running out to Cato Fashions for a new sundress.

Seriously, this is the reddest of herrings.

Others allege that malfeasant college dudes looking to cop a feel on campus will conveniently “identify as Transgender” to get themselves easy access to female students in the loo. Right.

Do these folks have any idea what openly Transgender people go through on a daily basis; the relentless taunting and bullying and physical violence they endure? Do they know the alarming rates of depression and self-harm and suicide among the Transgender population?

I’ll answer that: they don’t have a freakin’ clue.

Because if they did have an inkling or if had done any reading or educated themselves at all, they would know that no straight guy is going to attach that label to himself just to get some perceived advantage on deviant behavior. No heterosexual man in his right mind would willingly subject himself to the kind of horror that other heterosexual men subject the Transgender community to each day. This is another no-brainer.

But let’s put aside the Transgender community for a moment. Do you notice the common thread here? Do you see the pattern?

The clear and present threat that all these terrified Christians are really concerned about is straight guys behaving badly, and yet this is not the battle we are choosing to fight. As so very often, the Church is engaging in a convenient holy war of misdirection.

We’re punishing Transgender people who want to use public restrooms, because we don’t trust heterosexual men not to be predatory animals.

We’re diminishing the quality of life of the Trans community because so many straight guys can’t control themselves and they can’t be left alone with women and kids.

This is a problem.
It’s not the LGBTQ community’s problem.
It’s not the dreaded Gay Agenda.
This is straight, Christian America’s legendary sexual hypocrisy rearing its disgusting head again.

It is a symptom of the sickness of far too many heteronormative (often Christian) guys who have all the power and all the privilege and all the breaks, and yet are the ones most likely to sexually assault women and to molest children and to make public spaces unsafe. They are the boogeyman we should be warning people about.

I am so tired of Christians tripping over themselves to be outraged by stuff that simply isn’t real or that so pales in comparison to the dangers truly lurking out there, whenever those dangers hit too close to home. (It’s much easier to “focus on the family” when it’s someone else’s family.)

Rape, sexual assault, prostitution, and human trafficking are largely the sins of those who are protesting the loudest. The truth is, if straight Christian men stopped engaging in this stuff it would probably soon evaporate for lack of funding and lack of business.

Maybe we need to stop making the LGBTQ community the scapegoats for the failings of straight folk.
Maybe we need to focus on heterosexual men and figure out why they can’t behave like decent human beings.
Maybe we need to pray about that and protest about that and preach about that, Church.
Maybe some high-profile evangelists need to stop chasing the low-hanging fruit of bigotry and show some real moral courage and preach truth to their own jacked-up choirs.
Maybe some holier-than-thou Presidential candidates should speak directly and continually into the sins of their siblings instead of throwing round irresponsible rhetoric that actually gives religious people consent from God to discriminate.
Maybe we Christians should ask ourselves where the love and compassion of Jesus are in all of this, and just what kind of testimony we’re giving to the LGBTQ community and the watching world?

Transgender men and women shouldn’t have to hold their bladders every day because we can’t get our act together and because we aren’t willing to open up a book that isn’t the Bible or isn’t featured on FoxNews.

Maybe we need to take a good, hard, unflinching look at the straight guys in our midst and ask why they are so very broken—and allow Transgender folks pee in peace for God’s sake. 

Christian, let my people go!


If you’d like to educate yourself on the realities of Transgender people so that you can engage respectfully and responsibly, you can start HERE and HERE and HERE and HERE and HERE and HERE.

 

188 thoughts on “Christian, Let My Transgender People Go! (When Bigotry Uses the Bathroom)

    • I have not finished reading John’s post, but I got so tickled I had to come straight here and say something. This is the thing that broke me up:

      John Said: “…but by predatory straight guys, who these religious folks believe will use this legislation for their gain, claiming they are Transgender and/or dressing up in women’s clothing in order to easily enter the ladies’ room to commit acts of violence.”

      I didn’t know that you now have to wear a special “uniform (women’s clothing)” to commit violence against women in restrooms. Historically, men who want to do such things just enter wearing their normal clothing—and then beat and rape the crap out of some poor lady. But now you have to be dressed up like woman to do it!!!!! Talk about being couture correct!!!!

    • John also said: “Transgender men and women shouldn’t have to hold their bladders every day because we can’t get our act together and because we aren’t willing to open up a book that isn’t the Bible or isn’t featured on FoxNews.”

      If you take a diuretic medication and you are transgender, you can forget about holding your bladder for any longer than 10 minutes. Instead of holding your bladder, it is probably best to just nail it to the wall of the stall and hope for the best.

      • “If you take a diuretic medication and you are transgender, you can forget about holding your bladder for any longer than 10 minutes. Instead of holding your bladder, it is probably best to just nail it to the wall of the stall and hope for the best.”

        LOL!!! I love your comments Dover. This is true though, and most of us do take a diuretic. I take Spironolactone, which keeps my testosterone level within the normal range for a cisgendered woman. Spironolactone is a potassium-sparing diuretic. When I first started taking it, I was shocked at much more often I had to go to the bathroom.

        • I vote for non gender single. Stall bathroom . No one is discriminated against, women and girls can feel safe. No one has to feel exposed or at risk. I don’t want to be in the rest room with a transgender. But I want them to feel safe also.
          My cousin as a young boy was raped by a man in the mens restroom. He needed protection too.
          Each of us should feel comfortable.

          The problem is not the actual trans but those posing.
          If men transgender are a allowed we women can’t distinguish between. It not like they will wear a safe badge.
          Separate but equal.

  1. Good idea John. That fits the common stereotype of segregation. After all, that’s what Moses did- segregated the Hebrews out of Egypt into their own nation.

  2. So very well put. Thank you for standing up and saying these important things. Hopefully some folk out there will be convicted, repent, and change their attitudes, so that (as you so prosaically put it) the transgender folk can pee in peace.

    • Or like the people in Moscow do today. I have a friend who paid the Russkies a visit. You would find Princess Di alive in Moscow quicker than you would find a public restroom.

      Well, what do they do?

      Like the guy said—the shrubs.

    • I’m with you or make all restrooms unisex where everyone can go in n out, because next trasgenders will want urinals in the women’s restroons.

    • Seems to me this is the sort of incident that John is actually talking about anyway. It’s not a transgender person but a heterosexual male who is an habitual offender so he was going to cause trouble whether he posed as transgender or not. Can you cite any other instances? This is one only in how many uses of the shelters by women who remain safe? You can’t go out in the road you know; you might be killed by a careless motorist or a drunk driver. Let’s ban the use of the roads to protect everyone.

    • I would like to see an article about this from a real news source. Lifesitenews.com is a right-wing publication of Campaign Life Coalition, whose main focus is abortion. The publication is well-known for sensationalizing and distorting facts to scare people. If this really happened as reported in this article, it shouldn’t be hard to find an article from a legitimate news source, like the Toronto Star, reporting it. But an internet search reveals that only ultra-right wing organizations, known for using scare tactics, are reporting this. A letter to the Toronto Star from Barbara Hall, Chief Commissioner of the Ontario Human Rights Commission, written in January of 2014, states in part “We have never seen a documented case of a heterosexual man gaining access to a woman’s change room by posing as transgender. In fact, in washrooms and changerooms, and in society at large, transgender persons are more at risk than anyone else of being harassed, abused, assaulted, or even killed.”
      I find it oddly coincidental that the article in lifesitenews appeared three months later, almost as if in response to this letter. It’s even more odd that Toronto Star did not report such an event. My conclusion? This never happened. Homo/transphobic websites are replete with made-up stories and faked statistics, carefully crafted to scare the gullible and fearful. Intelligent people will research these stories and statistics, usually finding them to be false. But most of the people reading them, the people to whom such sites pander, simply accept them as gospel truth without question.

        • That article isn’t about a trans person using the bathroom. It’s about a bigot who opposed the law and sought to make a political statement by deliberately going into a facility that matched neither his physical sex nor his gender identity. He succeeded in making a fool of himself and getting arrested… oh, and of course, providing other bigoted people with supposed ammunition for the fight. But it’s a waste, because the only people who think the story is really relevant are those who didn’t read it well enough to understand who this man was and what his motives were.

          • I’m Christian and have a transgendered child. Two points. 1) Fears of transgendered folks harming others in a bathroom is a non issue. Even straight men posing as one, is a non issue b/c the disguise is not needed to assault someone in a bathroom. Straight men commit the most attacks in bathrooms, and they occur everyday with no pretense or costumes involved.
            Transgendered people are far more likely to be victimized, than other groups and are among the least violent offenders. (See the Dept of Justice/FBI report on violent crimes).

            I’m also bothered by the smearing of Christians.

            Most Christians I know are not bigoted. Most practice a live & let live lifestyle, and are socially aware activists who love others well. Don’t lump us in with a few intolerant outliers. These types of blame games serve no one.

      • Frank….I searched for about 40 minutes looking for FACTS concerning your post. I didn’t expect to find evidence supporting your statements and indeed no evidence exists. Pedophiles are almost always straight, a family member or close family friend. Being gay has nothing to do with it. I’d appreciate facts instead of bigoted lies please.

      • Right on Rev. So many stories like this have turned out to be false propaganda put out by religious people with a political or social agenda. Fundies are famous for being liars—like Ted Cruz.

      • Kit9…when did I say anything about being gay had anything to do with it? I mentioned men targeting boys…I never mentioned sexual orientation. But wow you are quick to hurl insults.

      • Here’s one: I was working at a restaurant about two years ago, when a man came in and was waiting for a table. Ten minutes later, he was caught peeking into the stalls of the women in the bathroom.
        He was let go. Why? Because he claimed to be trans. That’s all you need these days to get off Scot-free.
        It happens. Quite a bit, actually.

        • I call B.S. You’re either making this up or leaving out significant details. Even if he were trans, it is not a license to peek into stalls. Short of looking for feet under the door to see if a stall is occupied or free, there is no excuse for looking inside.
          If this had been a transwoman, she would have been dressed as a woman, not as a man, living as a woman… and she wouldn’t have been doing more than checking for a free stall.
          If by some fluke your story is true, and they simply allowed a man to nose around the ladies’ room because he claimed to be trans, then the people involved are colossally ignorant. Which would simply demonstrate the need for better education about trans people.

            • Oh, so now it’s a store? I thought it was a restaurant? Which is it? You need to get your story straight before coming up in here and throwing shade.

            • Sara,

              I reject both the facts you asserted and the conclusion you derive from it. A straight man who is a voyeur is committing a crime – and claiming to be transgendered would be utterly irrelevant. (It’s also not credible.)

              Even IF such a thing occurred, and the suspect blurted out “But I’m transgendered!” it’s Not a legal defense to voyeurism or rape, anymore than claiming to be “so tall” would be.

              Finally, saying it happens “quite a bit actually” is flat out false.

    • Dear Might of the Widow. This argument (or link) proves exactly what John is saying. The problem is NOT with transgender folks, it’s with white heterosexual males, according to your link. Even if there were not a single transgender public restroom, a straight male could walk into a public restroom and assault someone. It would not make a bit of difference if the equality laws were in place or not! Fight the real enemy, hate and fear.

      • It’s not the act we’re preventing-that will never happen as long as sin exists- but we can allow for punishment for the crime. As it stands now, all he has to do is claim transgender and suddenly it’s the woman’s fault for being “bigoted”.

        • Sarah, please get an education. You are very confused. A person can’t simply decide to be transgender or claim to be with impunity. It’s not difficult to determine if a person is trans. A person who is transitioning will be living as the target sex. So a man dressed as a man who goes into the ladies’ room is not transgender. Further, a person who is trans has a professional diagnosis as such, and that can be verified if there is question.

          • I am highly educated, which is why I feel confident in stating my opinion.
            It is true that a person living as a trans person will be easy to spot, but anyone who claims to be trans can buy themselves some time, because it can be used as a get out of jail free card, even if only temporarily.
            The professional diagnosis is the only way to prove without a doubt, but many(not all) do not receive such a diagnosis unless they go through transition.
            I have done quite a bit of research on this matter, so I don’t appreciate being called uneducated and confused.

            • There is a world of difference between legitimate research, including getting to know actual trans people, and simply believing the lies and distortions found on dozens of homophobic and transphobic websites.

              Even people who cannot afford to transition, or choose not to for whatever reason, still get the professional diagnosis. We do not have multitudes of self-diagnosed trans people running around.

              Sorry, but if you were truly educated on this subject, you would not have posted so much misinformation, particularly the gem about people choosing to be trans.

              • Did you read my last line? I am one. I was convinced I was David when I was around 12 years old, just as I began to develop. I went to a therapist, got some help, and now I realize that I struggle with gender dysphoria disorder, and it is hard. But I am a she, not a he, and that’s okay with me.
                Is that good enough “research” for you?

                  • I didn’t say nothing before that. I just became convinced of it at 12. Aren’t you denying my transgenderism, jus the way you say all the “know-alls” do? Sounds like you’re the one who’s confused.

                    • I would think if you were trans, you would have been convinced long before you were twelve. In fact, they would have been trying to convince you that you weren’t male earlier than that.

                    • Pastor Carey won’t, but I’ll call your lying ass out. You don’t know a damn thing about being trans. We know who we are WAY before puberty. Not as we “begin to develop” (puberty). WAY before. And it isn’t Gender Dysphoria Disorder. It’s Just Gender Dysphoria. We’re not disordered, no matter how much you believe us to be.

    • If you search hard enough you can find an exception to EVERY rule. An Oregon mother threw her child off of a bridge. 133 feet till he hit the water and died. Are all mothers guilty?

  3. This revved me up more than the pot of coffee I just drank. And instead of spewing I will dedicate my day to a very beautiful woman and person… Anne Mayes (11/6/07) Transgender advocate and pioneer. Who fought tirelessly for dignity and civility that she so often did not receive. Champion pool player. Audacious cue maker. Relentless and patient coach and mentor. Fearless “hustler”. And exquisite Christian. I miss your daily inspiration. Every pool hall in Texas misses you too… Lol… But our pockets a little fuller 🙂 I love you Annie O. Save a table for me.

  4. I am not “gushy”. I do like this blog…and this post. I, too, am a fellow heretic. In fact, I call myself Heretic Christian as a way to name my faith. I hope you don’t mind that my blog “Stones in the Middle of the Jordan” has a much less followed Facebook page and I shared this post there. I keep trying to persuade Christians to act Christian…sometimes I even have hope that it might be working. *sigh*

  5. Reblogged this on darren's thinking and commented:

    “The clear and present threat that all these terrified Christians are really concerned about is straight guys behaving badly, and yet this is not the battle we are choosing to fight. As so very often, the Church is engaging in a convenient holy war of misdirection.

    We’re punishing Transgender people who want to use public restrooms, because we don’t trust heterosexual men not to be predatory animals.

    We’re diminishing the quality of life of the Trans community because so many straight guys can’t control themselves and they can’t be left alone with women and kids.

    This is a problem.”

  6. Oh my, John, you are a brave soul; thank goodness! You really put it to ’em with words that needed to be said. I don’t know if any of ‘those’ people really heard you or care or will ever change their minds about anything, but some of us have to try. Thank you for all you do and say; I appreciate you.

  7. I disagree with the premise that we should make a blanket rule to allow the transgender community to use whatever facilities they identify with. The article is well written, but it doesn’t change the social and economic ramifications. If we were truly going to open the doors to every community of diverse thought and claim that they all have equal standing, I would still balance the scales with Biblical support, common sense and an individuals right to freedom of choice. I enjoy and am encouraged by your thought provoking articles, My journey is forever being redirected by the Holy Spirit and the circumstances God puts me in. I will continue to share community with everyone I meet.

    • Your journey is based upon needless fear and I suspect a certain amount of revulsion. These are not attributes of your Jesus. You need to reflect on what scares you.

    • The problem with “Biblical Support” Is that this is a SECULAR nation, not a theocracy. Too many ‘christians’ scream that this country is a christian nation, that it was founded upon christian ideals and totally IGNORE the documented fact that the founders clearly made a point that religion needed to stay OUT of our government, because all religion did was CORRUPT people… and yet modern day “christians” want to impose a christian theocracy on our nation and ignore the constitution… which they also scream they support.

      Fact is… I haven’t seen a real christian on this planet in my entire 51 years of life. At least not any that follow the teachings of Jesus. Rather, I have seen a whole bunch of followers of Paul.. but Jesus? Not one.

      • Elain I think you have pointed out a big hypocrisy that I have also noticed. How can a Christian support the American Constitution and the Bible at the same time? They actually have text which contradicts each other? Wierd.

        Jem I think Elain has a point about Christians. If we put ourselves in her shoes she is saying she has not met any Christians who have treated her in a Christ- like way, (loving others as yourself, the second commandment)

        • You so right, Kathy. Wish I could take back that comment. I thought she was coming across as one of those folk who really know nothing about Christianity and stand on the side lines judging them. After reading Elain’s testimony I understand where she is coming from and she has every right to judge Christians after what she’s been through. I feel huge remorse on behalf of Christians who treated her badly and seek forgiveness on their behalf.

      • Jem,

        I used to be a christian. I tried desperately to make it work and the only thing religion has succeeded in doing for me is increase my self hate and self loathing. Every where I turned I was told that people like me shouldn’t exist. That we were worse than animals. That we were all pedophiles (sorry, kids don’t even remotely attract me in any way). That we don’t deserve any rights at all. That we all deserve to die. That God hated us. That we were possessed. Etc. Etc. Etc. until the hate makes you want to vomit from it’s evilness.

        It eventually proved to me that christianity was more about hate than the love they pretended to. Mind you… I separate christianity into two groups. Christians and christians. At least with Christians, they TRY to understand. But even in so-called “Liberal” churches who are accepting and encourage transgender people to be a part of their church… the hate lies just under the surface in the side ways looks, the backhanded disrespect, the whispered comments meant to be heard while pretending they are not. This misgendering. It gets old.

        Are all Christians like that? No. But enough are (The vast majority) that it is simply easier to paint the entire mess with one brush, instead of trying to find the real Lambs amongst all the sheep and wolves. So no, I don’t consider myself to be a christian. I consider myself to be a simple person who believes that Jesus would look at christians today and be saddened by what they have become. Angered by how so many have twisted his words of love into weapons of hate. I believe in Jesus. I don’t believe in (most) Christians because they have shown me they are unworthy of believing they are actually followers of Jesus.

        I am, as always, pleasantly surprised and joyful when I do though.

        ~Elain

        • I’m actually thrilled to see you say this as I too so often wish not to be called a Christian in order to disassociate myself from that hating brand of Christianity that does not portray Jesus at all (and it’s why I love John Pavlovitz and his blog). And I love that you love Jesus. That’s the important thing. I love Him too. He is my Lord. I talk to Him often, but I don’t go to church anymore. I might if I could find one, but not possible where I live. I have joined an online prayer group in another country and I’m growing to love those folk as I pray and share with them in the things they are praying about. It’s an MCC fellowship. There are fortunately a number of good internet faith sites where I feel comfortable sharing and interacting. They are my church. Thank you for your sharing here. It has been sadly devastating to read your story, but also I feel it has helped me to see better and understand more so I can love better. I am eternally grateful to you.

      • jem You seem to be under the most ignorant impression that in order to understand a faith one must be a part of that faith. Sheer arrogance.

    • Dan, could you cite for us your biblical evidence concerning transgender human beings and their standing with God, for good or ill? I would keenly love to study it, as I have done extensive study on the subject myself and have been unable to find any.

      Oh, I find plenty of OT law regarding many odd things, but as a believer in the New Covenant who is being redirected by the Holy Spirit, I am certain you would be aware of the errors of importing Old Covenant law into New Covenant Life.

      And each of those OT references have their own inherent difficulties and implications.

      It is a common assumption that people change gender orientation like they do clothes…and it is a very harmful and inaccurate assumption as well. In fact, if you wish to test this, I suggest that you prove to everyone by dressing as the opposite gender you identify as, by living that way 24-7…by seeking to pass that way…procuring the clothing needed…and even thinking about it, you can see that it would be awful to have to do.

      No…if gender orientation was so easy and malleable, well I would not have been so unsuccessful in an endeavor that resulted me in ripping my own psyche in half and burying my heart deep deep inside a pain cave, all for the sake of those important people in my life…I was around 6 years old.

      I loved what you said about the HS redirecting you, and I would prayerfully exhort you to pray honest, naked prayers for leading regarding transgender people…ask the HS…and follow the leading and get to know some trans-humans…you can check out my blog at charissagrace.com and there are numerous others. I think you will be glad you asked the HS to lead you, because your life will be the richer, and you will not miss one of the true justice issues on our generation’s table.

      Blessings as you walk with God!

  8. I love this! Thank you!! I had a very dear roommate when I lived in NYC who was a transgender male. We have many amazing conversations about what being transgender really meant and he was able to help me understand some things that would have been so difficult if I wasn’t able to have a discussion with someone who was actually going through it. He was generous, honest, compassionate and understanding of my ignorance and he actually ran a support group for the trans community to help recovering addicts. Seriously, one of my all time favorite roommates ever.

    He asked me a question once, “is it simply our genitalia that makes our gender? What if someone were to lose their genitalia in an accident, or due to cancer, or because of medical necessity… do they stop being male or female then?” It really opened my eyes. If God has made us so much more than just our bodies… why do we use our genitalia as a definition of gender? That wouldn’t make sense… not when we believe we have a soul, spirit, and mind…

    Thank you for bringing light to the real issues here.

  9. Thank you for standing up for us, the LGBT community. I have little more to add, simply: yes. Thank you. Thank you for being a model to the rest of the church.

  10. Great article, just one note… it’s not simple heterosexual men, since trans men can be straight, but hetero cis-men ego who are “the problem.” I know the evolving language can be a challenge, but I wanted to be sure that the problem kids are properly identified! Again great post.

  11. I have been fortunate enough in my long, varied, exciting and diverse life to have known people from all walks. Human beings are human beings. I was once walking home from a late night bartending job when two large men started to mug me. Out from no where sprang and transgendered woman who beat this sh** out of them and then she bought me breakfast. An angel.

    • GREAT story!!

      and one minor correction: it is best to say “transgender woman” rather than “transgendered” woman…

      a transwoman can be “othered” but has not been “transgendered”…rather she IS transgender

      • Thank you. In today’s world of pc language which is constantly changing one can have the greatest love and respect for people and yet be labeled “bigot” due to language differences.

  12. If more people would bother to actually get to know a transgender and hear their plight, I doubt that they would be afraid of them anymore. The problem remains, they only know “what they hear.” Every DAY is a battle for them! The fear, the hurt, the shame (put mostly upon them by Christians) they endure is overwhelming. Those who are so quick to judge, should actually get to know one, before condemning them to hell.

  13. When our transgender friend comes to visit, she uses the same restroom we all use. And in public, she would act like any woman would in a restroom. She would never hurt a flea, and yet bravely faces a world each day that seems intent on hurting her, either emotionally or physically. When I became sick with cancer, she was one of the first to come over with a dinner for us. If you don’t personally know a transgender person, get to know one, and you will realize they are just like you–only braver!

    • I totally agree with all these points BUT: I am just a majorally shy person. I am uncomfortable in public restrooms anyway. At home I run water in the sink so no can hear the tinkling of the water. A friend in my home transgendered no problem, in a public restroom yes. But I would say the same about using a combined heterosexual restroom as well. I totally agree on the grans rights , but what about us uncomfortable with all folks using the Same bathroom?

  14. Ok, I am going to put myself out on a limb here. I hope you just don’t get out an ax as some of these counterresponse seem close to doing.
    I admit I for one struggle with this. I’m sure it comes from 50 years of doctrination and the way I was raised etc, even though I have truely been trying to understand John’s posts, I still struggle.
    I fully understand the love of our Christ. I suppose what I have a hard time with is overridding what I’ve always been taught. Honestly, I don’t know a transgender person and have only met 3 gay people in my life. I have never had a conversation with them about their lives or how they feel. I don’t know the challenges or hardship they go through daily other than what I read here.
    I know me and I know I would never do or say anything to hurt someone deliberately. But I still stuggle.
    Love is hard. I doubt if anyone posting here shows love to everyone without an inner struggle at times. But we keep striving for the goal, I hope you keep posting these articles. I know one day I will get there, without a struggle.

    • thank you so much for your honesty!! I believe that honesty is so dear to God’s heart, and it is the beginnings of so many transformations “from glory to glory”.

      I would humbly offer you access to my FB page and to my blog charissagrace.com

      Perhaps this would be a slice of life in my life that would give you encouragement to seek out a transwoman in your area and simply get to know her as you would any woman.

      Again, I cannot tell you how much I was blessed by your vulnerability.

      Oh, one last thing…I am a mid-life transitioner, and I can relate to the things you were taught and how you were taught. You will find the world of study in this area to be as different as the Pre-Copernican model of the Universe is from the Einsteinian model.

  15. Thank you John for highlighting the importance of being aware of the challenges transgendered people face in thier everyday life. This is more than just an issue of using public bathrooms, as you mentioned shopping and travelling on the public transit, going to restaurants, walking down the street, taking a taxi…everything a transgendered person does in public could lead to being targeted for discrimination or unwanted attention. Let’s be friendly and aware of thier prescence in our community and extend them the same dignity we do to others.

  16. So let me see if I’ve understood the article correctly: legislation has been introduced to protect the rights of a minority group, here, the transgender community, in order that they are able to use restrooms pertaining to the gender they identify with. Seems very reasonable to me. However, as a result, a whole bunch of people have taken to social media to vociferously suggest that this piece of legislation will put women at risk because it will encourage heterosexual men to dress up as women and try their luck in the female restroom.

    What on Earth is going on in the minds of some people that would lead them to fabricate such a ridiculous scenario? I mean, come on, this is just ludicrous! Or, is it just a case of indirect veiled prejudice by some towards the transgender community? An indirect dig at this community by disguising it as concern and worry for women because some heterosexual men cannot control their urges. The jury is still out for me.

  17. I have to say… I’m generally for the single occupant potty. They can put any and all gender signs on the outside of the door. But one at a time. Please. It really is getting hazardous for women to use facilities. From up-skirting to vent and wall cameras. Not to mention navigating installed changing stations and hand dryers that blow like an F5! I try desperately not to use public places. But… Sometimes. I’m a Christian who needs a bit of privacy… I don’t want anybody in there. And btw… I have had one wrist in a cuff after being apprehended for going in a men’s room at a baseball stadium. It seemed like a better idea than the trash bin. Men have disproportionate numbers of stalls than women have. All that been said… Be kind. People have a lot more going on than that outward appearance…

    • I’m going to bash my own post :/ I am not by any means making light of the fears my trans-kin or worried moms have by saying this but it seems to me good old fashioned resourcefulness, including thoughtfulness, is in order for this restroom dilemma. We live in world where bad things can happen and do… And I know all to well that availability and opportunity are a welcome mat for disaster. Vigilance is necessary for ourselves and others. It’s another way to ‘act’ compassion. I read a comment above about men preying on boys and it made me cringe. And I don’t discount that it does happen and its devastating for any child but 1 in every 4 girls is assaulted by a random act. And that doesn’t include familial relationships or date rape/assault where the numbers skyrocket. It’s the use of entitlement and power. Sick is sick. I watch out for my family, neighbor, straight, LBGT Christian or no and anybody else.

      • it’s a very safe assumption that we are experts in this “old-fashioned resourcefulness” that you mention…I mean this very nicely, but you really don’t know resourcefulness until your life depends on it…as mine does everyday.

        And yes…I am so very grateful for your support and your encouragement as well!
        <3

        • Didn’t mean to understate. No harm intended. I’m certain the ADA will get involved in some manner to reconstruct restrooms from here to Bangor, Maine. I am Lesbian not Transgender, so I can’t speak directly, but I’ve never personally heard transgender being referred to as a disability. But I have guarded quite a few restroom doors in order to make a comfortable situation for a person in need. What I’m saying, is we treat others the way we wanted to be treated. I’ll watch out for that asshole straight guy, bent on harm, for you if you will for me. 🙂

  18. Eh, I typically love your posts, but I don’t like the over-simplification present in this one. I don’t like how it focuses solely on the feelings of the transgender. I don’t agree anyone can state that no problem, in any context, will ever arise from this decision- or that it will not open a bag of worms even more complex. While the fears may be numerous, unfounded, or unlikely- there will still be incidents that will happen as a result (as is life), and frankly- none of them will likely affect you. But it will affect someone.

    I have not studied transgender people. I do not know any, and even if I did, I could not understand their pain as it does not affect me personally. The most I could do is try- and that is obviously the best thing we can ever do for others. But in the same way, John cannot understand the level of discomfort a female may feel with a transgender in the public bathroom, for no other reason than he is not a female.

    I’m not saying all women will have an issue with this, but there are women that will, and should not be told they are essentially a heartless individual, devoid of understanding and compassion, for expressing concern or fear or uncertainty.

    The issue is more complex, and over-simplifying, while embracing the feelings of one set of people – and dismissing the other- is unfair.

    The predatory issue is by and large a separate issue than that of comfort.

    • Well, maybe you can explain to me one of the great mysteries of life. You can be sitting at a restaurant table with 10 men and 10 women. One woman asks the waiter for the location of the ladies room. Simultaneously, all 10 women stand up and go to the restroom together. You know they are not all on the same pee schedule or the same menstrual cycle. So, what gives? I find this odd female behavior far more threatening and weird than having a cross-dresser or transgender person in the same restroom with me.

      Would any of you ladies like to explain the “female flock to the restroom together” behavior to me. I would really hate to die not knowing it.

      And by the way ladies—just in case you ever wonder about it—all 10 men left seated at the restaurant table think in unison. “Now, that’s just damned weird.” My dating days are long over—but if I were 18 again and out on a date with two other couples—and you flocked to the restroom like that—there is an excellent chance I would be permanently gone when you got back. I don’t like weird 1958 chick stuff—and neither do a lot of other guys. Mark that down on your list. “When I am out on the town with couples, I shall not flock to the restroom with the other women.”

    • The salient part: “I have not studied transgender people. I do not know any, and even if I did, I could not understand their pain as it does not affect me personally.”

      John, on the other hand, has done both, AND also knows women and 2 very intimately (wife and daughter).

      I think my hope would be that you would seek out a few transgender people to get to know, and do some reading. I don’t see anyone who frames the issue with the expectations and assumptions you offer in order to make the point of how complex the issues are…

      and if they are that complex for cis-hetero humans, I am sure you could see how that complexity is multiplied for transgender people.

      And as I feel you are wanting to be kind and compassionate, I would share with you that to talk about us as “the transgender” is othering and hurtful. Simply saying “…on the feelings of transgender people.” This may seem unnecessary to you? But it would mean a lot to me.

      Thanks for reading and for your comments…keep hanging in there on the issue!! 🙂

      • You know, I speak that way because after the death of my child, so many people told me they understood, they knew exactly how they felt (you know, because their dog or grandpa died three years ago). Since then, I am acutely aware that we absolutely do not understand someone’s pain and experience UNLESS we are going through the exact same life event in the exact same way (not going to happen, even in like scenarios).

        I apologize for not using politically and socially correct language for the transgender community. I hope you can also understand I have two children and was typing on an iPhone- researching how to say what wasn’t my top priority at the time.

        I absolutely stick to my guns that John does not know how women truly feel just because he listens to how women truly feel. I understand that must feel like an insult to someone who is transgender (I am sure I am using the wrong word usage here too), because it defines the genders as separate and different. I am only guessing here because again, I cannot understand your feelings and I would imagine another would have a different viewpoint. I would only speak to my own– I am careful to not speak on behalf.

        Not meaning to offend or hurt you.

        • What a beautiful and empathetic response. I am so very honored to have the chance to interact with you, and OMG the framing you give certainly provides a previously concealed layer of meaning here. Thank you for sharing something so personal and indescribable. When I am hurting, I will remember you as well in my prayers.

          Definitely receiving these into my heart.

      • It’s hard for true intent to come through writing at times- but I wanted to make sure it was clear I am sincere that I do not mean to be hurtful. I realize my original point was that I didn’t find the bashing of those who are uncomfortable with this necessary, because I find it offensive to those people, and less likely to build bridges. (A lot of progressive thought occurs in places other than say, the Midwest…and yelling at someone to get in line isn’t exactly respectful). I’m not even sure how I feel about it, I am indifferent…. And as I think about it, I am not sure why this is an issue- seeing as how transgender individuals need to use the bathroom and have been forever, without incident or awareness? Why is it a big deal now?

  19. I’m transgender. Do you know what I think about when I go into the bathroom? Going to the bathroom. Washing my hands. Checking my hair and makeup. Full Stop. I and every other transgender person I know (and I know about 600 transgender people personally) feel exactly the same way. We just want to pee.

    “Use the mens room then” people say.

    I have rather pronounced breasts (Yes, real, physical breasts, natural and made by my body). I wear a dress. Heals, Blouses. My hair and makeup is not even close to being masculine.

    Do you know what happens to me when I go to the mens restroom looking like this? 4 times I have been assaulted. Once that put me in a hospital for a week. I have been spit on at least 30 times. I’ve had more disgusting things said to me than I can count. I’ve had urine thrown on me twice, feces once. I’ve had to pull my pistol out on men 5 times. I started carrying a firearm after I was hospitalized by a right wing christian hater in Florida, who nearly beat me to death and would have, had he not been pulled off me and restrained btw. One of these days I am going to be forced to shoot someone who thinks it is perfectly fine to assault the transgender person for no other reason than I am transgender. And it will be because of right wing pretend ‘christians’ and their ramped up hate towards transgender people, since they can no longer legally hate on gay people.

    We are the next target for their disgusting, un-Christ like hate.

    I got so tired of the hate I was facing, on a daily basis. EVERYWHERE I went, that I chose to relocate to a state with transgender protections because I REALLY don’t want to have to shoot some hate driven so-called ‘christian’ for trying to assault me because they have been taught by their church that I am an easy target for their hate and fear.

    ‘christians’ are always screaming about people who are LGBT being so militant.. you know why we are that way? Because YOU do everything you can to cause us harm, to revile us, to hate us, to treat us as less than human. So.. we got active. We defended ourselves from YOU. Now many of you are crying we have an agenda.. that we are trying to take away your rights. NO.. WE RE NOT! We are just trying to be allowed to live, love and be happy, like everyone else. BUT YOU WON’T LET US. So we have to activate, protest, be militant. We’d rather not have to do that. We just want to live, like everyone else, without being afraid we will be fired for who we love, evicted for who we are, not for anything we did wrong. Be able to walk down the road without pretend ‘christians’ spewing their idiocy and hate at us. Be able to marry the person we love. JUST LIKE YOU!

    And then we have people like John here, who actually gets it. Who understands that humanity isn’t black and white. One way or the other, that we are in fact an amazingly diverse and variable species. People like John give me hope that someday, I will be able to walk down the street without fearing I will be attacked, and possibly murdered, just for existing. Right now, that is a very real fear for me EVERY TIME I STEP OUTSIDE OF MY HOME. And I blame that 100% on ‘christians’.

    If any of you walked a day in my footsteps. Lived a day in my shoes. Had the faintest glimmering of what goes on in my mind, how I feel, how I think… you would know that being transgender isn’t a choice, it’s a matter of living or ending your life. It almost ended my life. I fought who I was as hard as I could. I created a facade. Male. Tried to live so society would leave me alone. Buried myself so deep, that nobody even knew I was there. And I hated myself and life so thoroughly, just hated everything and everybody but mostly I hated myself. I was so deeply, miserably unhappy that death seemed a viable and much better alternative. Every day of 50 years of life, I was miserable. Unhappy. Hated myself. Hated everyone else. It came to a head. I almost succeeded in killing myself. My doctors don’t even know how I survived and have told me that I shouldn’t have. That was a year ago. I stopped pretending and playing YOUR game, and finally accepted what I had been forced to deny my entire life. I accepted who I was, something I knew before I even turned 4.

    Oh yes. I have memories going back to 4 and earlier. Massive distress at my body, at parts of my body. It was wrong. Broken. Mishappen. I didn’t know what to call it back then, but the one and only time I voiced it… I got beat so badly I had to lay on y stomach for three days. I never mentioned it again until a year ago.

    And you know what? I am happier. I no longer hate people. No longer look in the mirror and hate myself. For the first time in my entire 51 years of life… I like who I am. I will kill myself rather than be forced back into that THING I pretended to be for 50 years. You don’t know my pain. None of you except another transgender person can really know it. But you can be empathetic. Understanding. Instead of hating and fearing what you don’t know. You can educate yourself. And if you really are Christian… you can do what Jesus told you to do in the first place. Love your neighbor as you love yourself. You can’t love your neighbor when you are trying to criminalize their very existence.

    Sorry for the rant John. You strike me as a decent person and one I could respect and admire. But it had to be said. From our view.

    ~Elain

    • Ahhh! Elain! Your testimony is heart-rending. Thank you for sharing it. It touched me deeply. Sending you love and blessing. Keep up the fight. Glad you doing better. The more you open yourself, painful as that is, the more others will begin to understand.

      • I know I came off as a little angry in my post, but I am a little angry. The transgender community buries one of our own nearly every day. If we are not being murdered by some hater, we are ending our own lives because the level of hate and vileness we get thrown at us constantly becomes too much, and going back to pretending we are something we are not… Most of us would rather die than do that, because the amount of pain THAT causes is even worse than the hate we constantly get.

        Let me give you an example from just yesterday.

        I needed to go to the store to get some water. Our water where I live is so heavily chlorinated that it really isn’t drinkable. So off to the store I went. I grabbed a cart, Put my purse into the seat part of it, and started shopping. It wasn’t more than maybe ten minutes into shopping when I walked past this woman in the isle. She gave me a weird look and then the next thing I know, she has reached over, grabbed my purse and is rifling through it. When I grabbed my purse back she actually fought me for it screaming “You’re not a woman and I’m going to prove it to everyone!”.

        Seriously…. what gives ANYBODY the right to do such a thing? She was trying to find my ID so she could feel justified in her hate and “prove it” to everyone. I was fortunate that I had my pistol strapped in my waist holster under my sweater instead of in my purse like I normally do or she would have had access to my firearm. I managed to get my purse back from her, but not until she had strewn half my makeup and possessions in my purse on the floor, breaking about half of my makeup. I use MAC, if any of you ladies have ever used MAC makeup, you now it isn’t exactly cheap… and having $500 worth of makeup laying broken on the floor due to some fake christian psycho’s hate…. had me in tears. That had been a gift from my sister, and now it was at least 1/2 destroyed thanks to her….. She then started screaming I was an abomination unto god and was going to hell, at the top of her lungs.

        I want you all to understand something about me. I have been on hormone replacement therapy for nine months now. My entire personality has changed. I used to be angry and filled with hate ALL the time. I hated everyone and everything, but mostly, I hated myself. That has changed completely. I no longer hate everyone. In fact, I don’t really hate anyone. I have forgiven all the monsters of my childhood and life. I have forgiven myself for hating myself for so many years. I have cried more tears in this last year, than I ever cried in the prior fifty years. Releasing all the pain and anguish I felt. And now I am facing entirely new monsters who are being taught to hate me simply because I exist. When I say it left me in tears. When I say the anguish and hurt I felt because of her actions was as bad as anything I had ever felt before. Understand that that is now coming from the heart of a person who cares about life for the first time in their entire life. Who cares about others and in particular, my transgender family.

        That is just ONE example of the near constant hate I get from people.

        The police were called and I refused to press charges. I told her that I forgive her and that I hope she can find it in herself to learn more about people like me from people like me. She kept spewing religious based hate at me. Telling me the entire time she was there that I was going to hell. That God had forsaken me, etc etc etc. The store banned her from returning forever. The police officer asked me why I refused to prosecute her and I said this. “If I press charges, the only thing I accomplish is confirming her persecution complex. By forgiving her I rise above her hatred and I am the better person for it. I don’t need revenge anymore. I just need the freedom to live happily in my own skin.”

        I then finished picking up my broken makeup, hoping I can salvage some of it, and left the store. I got in my car and drove to a nearby park and cried for about a half hour. Then went home. I didn’t get my water. I’l be leaving here in about half an hour to try again.

        ~Elain

        • Please forgive me for questioning your attitude or motives. I understand. My heart cries for you. Sending you hugs and love and blessings. You are amazing. A treasure. So glad to have met you and very humbled by your story. Wish I could make it up to you in some way. I will definitely be praying for you.

      • Jem…

        I wasn’t offended by your questioning me in the other thread. It was a perfectly reasonable thing to ask considering the content of my post., and you did so politely.

        I will never identify as a christian because to me… doing so identifies me with the worlds largest hate group. I will though, Identify as a person who believes in Jesus and tries to live and follow his guidance as much as I can. Do I think that Jesus is the savior of all mankind? If I had to base that statement off of what I see coming from many people claiming to be his followers… no. But if I were to base it off of the words of the man himself, as written by people more than 100 years after his crucification…. yes, but with the caveat that stories change over time, and a story retold over the course of a hundred years or more before actually being written down, can change greatly. So… while I believe in Jesus… I do believe that at best, we are only getting a paraphrased version of his actual words.

        But no. I am NOT a christian. I flat refuse to ever identify with such a hate group.

    • Elain, I am absolutely gutted, thanks for sharing we need to hear your story. Like Jem said sending you love and support. I am so glad you prevailed !

  20. Pingback: Wisdom from Elaine | Missyspublicjunk

  21. Oy vey, John! Why don’t you run your arguments by the Haredi and see how far you get. Try this over in Jerusalem or in Brooklyn. What? Is that silence I hear?

  22. Pingback: Christian, Let My Transgender People Go! (When Bigotry Uses the Bathroom) | Russ Skinner's Blog

  23. Thank john, for that insightful comment. By and large, it’s a very accurate and informative document and I applaud you for it. There is just one small item I have to take issue with. Neither Americans nor America has been a ‘civilisation’ for millions of years. Indeed, judging by the multiple murders and endless bigotry coupled with the appalling degrees of ignorance and violence surrounding transgenderism in the disunited states, I would offer that America has not, even now, arrived at anywhere close to being civilised or indeed united.
    America is NOT a civilisation!!
    Otherwise John, your personal observations and arguments are fair, accurate and just.
    I am a sixty-nine-year-old transgendered UK woman.

  24. It’s disappointing to see how some people are so arrogant and filled with their own self absorbed opinions they cannot see past their own hate-filled agenda as this post is clearly one hate-filled rant against the Christians. Just another puppet for the media and political attack on religion and this circus is fueled by the political class who have no conception of what the average-joe (gay or straight) anywhere in America is like let alone has actually met one.

    My suggestion to this author is to get his head of the sand and take a long hard look at the hate you have inside. Typically people who hate themselves run to social media to hate on others as a WHOLE as this author states the “Christian community” ran to social media to wail about some new ordinance to protect GAYS. WHICH Christian community? Please be specific since their are more than 2000 different flavors all who profess the Bible as their book, add in the Catholics who don’t even look to the Bible because they have their catechism. WHICH community again? Oh that’s right it was the ENTIRE Christian community posting on social media. Funny all cops are bad, all Christians are bad YET the sheeple look to the politicians like gods!

    The REAL clear and present threat is some in the GAY community who continue to HATE on Christians because SOME treated them unfairly. Get a clue LIFE IS NOT FAIR. Is it fair that some people make millions and others make minimum wage? Is it fair that some football players rape on campus everyday and NOTHING can be done about it because the football programs PROTECT the players? Is it fair that women make less then men in the workforce? Is it FAIR that people who have deformities, or are ugly, overweight or don’t LOOK PERFECT, handicapped, deaf, or blind are bullied, made fun of, and rejected? And please don’t get me started about the HORRORS of bullying committed in middle and high schools all across America – just because – just because some want to bully and they know they can get away with it. Oh bullying goes FAR beyond the schools and is now part of the work place too. But don’t look to these HORRORS they are ALL unimportant.

    If you would like to educate yourself about the realities of what Christian people do as a whole for ALL in their communities so that you can engage respectfully and responsibly why don’t you visit a soup kitchen, a suicide hotline (where MANY who call in are GAY), a domestic violence shelter or hotline (where some victims are also GAY being in an abusive relationship)f or learn about the work many Christian communities are doing about the HORROR of the sex trade where millions are enslaved all of the PLANET for the purpose of performing sex AGAINST their will – in some parts of asia it is TODDLERS. Homeless shelters, Rape Crisis centers, and anywhere there is a VICTIM including GAYS are often staffed by compassionate Christians.

    The fact is it is impossible to ENGAGE truthfully with people like John, and a few other politically charged GAYS (and the ones who support the political HATE on Christians). because the TRUTH is you can’t see any of what was just written it doesn’t FIT YOUR narrative and therefore impossible to ENGAGE.

    Back just about 10 years ago if you didn’t like a group for what they stood for you just ignored them now it is a war to make ALL Christians bow down to GAYS and punish ALL Christians for the ignorance of a few. That idiots who foster this agenda and narrative are the ones to be FEARED certainly not the ones you will meet in a bathroom stall.

    And the author and GAYS who support this militant opinion should truly get on with life and release their HATE – life is too short by all means go out and enjoy it – you have a choice continue to be ignorant and fill your head with HATE on Christians and work tirelessly feeding the idea ALL Christians are boogey-men. TERRIFIED Christian HATERS all have the same common thread – HATE on ALL Christians for the ignorance of a FEW. Of course this makes them no different then the few Christians who hate on gays but please don’t look at that logically it doesn’t fit the militant gay agenda that all Christians are ignorant!! And by reading this article it appears that in their minds EVERY GAY on the PLANET has NEVER done anything wrong they are spotless perfect people who are persecuted by everyone else. It takes a lot to swallow that one but the GAY AGENDA is going to feed it to the masses until they believe it. Think it is not outlawed YET.

      • And ODDLY your ASSUMPTION is CLEARLY the very point you would NEVER be able to comprehend. My animosity toward GAYS? You can print that filthy LIE to serve your own agenda it only serves the political agenda. Not every GAY person believes the political agenda that Christians hate them. Did you not read where Christians are the MANY who do things for GAYS? Like I said LOGIC is a very difficult concept today when hetrosuggestion by the political class rules. And how is it you believe I am not gay myself? Not every GAY believes the militant political message that ALL Christians hate gays.

    • My, my, my, Chris! You sure have a serious problem. You are guilty of the very things you seem to be accusing others of. And such a long rant too. You should start your own blog since you have so much to say about so little. I did read quite a lot of what you wrote but I gave up in the end as you sound so disrespectful of anyone except perhaps those that agree with you, though not sure who they would be.

    • You’re funny. Hilarius actually. You do realize that there is no gay agenda right? We just want to live our lives with the right to love who we want, marry who we want, and not have ignorant tools like you tell us we are sinners, or going to hell, every time we step out our door (in other words cupcake. Been there, heard that. Don’t care, so keep your religion to yourself and STFU, it gets tiring and rather boring and unoriginal after you have heard it 1000 times or more already, and ALL of us have heard it more than we ever should have).

      Do you know which people harass me the most? Hands down, christians, of ALL stripes. and ALL denominations. Evangelicals tend to be the worst but every denomination I have ran across, and I have ran across most if not all of them that exist here in these not so united states (oh sorry, did I forget to mention I have lived in 49 states, Canada and Mexico? hmm sorry that must have slipped my mind while laughing at you), so many ‘christians’ have taken issue with who I am that I generally can spot an idiot at 200 yards now (I spotted you in the first three words, and yes, you’re an idiot). Not that it is their right to be judgmental. But people like you seem to enjoy ignoring the very words Jesus said to you in favor of following a dude that never met Jesus and ran a con game on you that you bought hook, line and sinker and still do (Paul).

      You get up on your high smelly horse and start spouting off at people, thinking it is your duty to annoy everyone you see with your idiocy. And then when people call you out for your poor behavior, you gaslight (look it up chrissy girl, I know you are too ignorant to know what that is, even though you are doing it here). The truth is chrissy girl. Most people just look at you, realize you are a ruddy bore, and ignore you because your opinions are worthless, arrogant, prejudicial and uninformed.

      So yeah chrissy girl… hate on the gays, we’ll stand back and laugh at you and your ignorance and hate. Froth at the mouth. Work yourself up into a state of apoplexy. With luck… your heart will collapse from all that hate you are spewing soon and nobody will ever have to deal with you again except God. I’ll be saying. “Good Riddance to bad Rubbish.” and laughing at you some more.

      Kiss Kiss chrissy girl.

      ~Elain

      • After reading, “After the Ball,” by Kirk and Madsen, I’d say there is some sort of agenda. The Mattachine Society certainly wasn’t sitting around sharing recipes. Magnus Hirschfeld wasn’t thinking out loud and simply having fun. Kinsey’s decision to include sex offenders and pedophiles wasn’t a statistical oversight. And, the events that led up to the 1973 decision on the part of the Board of the American Psychiatric Association to remove homosexuality from the DSM, wasn’t simply a coincidence. So no, there isn’t any agenda —

      • Oh gosh.. I guess we have been caught trying to be allowed to live our lives without being villainized, called pedophiles (when it’s far more likely that a ‘straight’ cisgender person is a pedophile than any of us), treated as less than human, refused basic rights, like the right NOT to be fired just for who we are or who we love. The right NOT to get thrown out of our homes, just for who we are or who we love. The right not to be assaulted just for existing. Yeah you are right, we have an agenda. Our agenda is to be treated like human beings. Something people like you seem completely unable to manage. Yep, sure do have an agenda. Righty-o there cowgirl, you caught us.

        *sighs* another completely ignorant and uninformed cis person, going about cisplaining something he doesn’t know shit about. You do know it is better to keep your mouth shut and appear wise, than open your mouth and remove any doubt that you’re a moron, don’t you?

        Oh and Stephenie girl… the DSM has changed repeatedly over the years. Many diagnosis have been completely removed, others added, and some modified as new science increases our understanding of human beings. Science, unlike your mind… isn’t stagnant. Dumbass.

        *kiss Kiss Stephenie girl*

      • Oh also Stephenie girl… this seems like a real evil agenda,,,

        The Mattachine Society ‘agenda’

        The primary goals of the society were to

        “Unify homosexuals isolated from their own kind”;
        “Educate homosexuals and heterosexuals toward an ethical homosexual culture paralleling the cultures of the Negro, Mexican and Jewish peoples”;
        “Lead the more socially conscious homosexual to provide leadership to the whole mass of social variants”; and
        “Assist gays who are victimized daily as a result of oppression”

        ooooooo really scary there cupcake. Sheesh what a tool. LOL

        *kiss kiss Stephenie girl*

        ~Elain

      • So basically, you don’t have an argument. If you want to discuss Judith Butler, Foucault, Irigaray, maybe some Lacan, fine. We can discuss the philosophical incoherence of Butler’s appropriation of Foucault and the latter’s misuse of Heidegger and Nietzsche; or, perhaps Lacan’s questionable use of Saussure that led to his belief that the self, too, is a matter of interpretation. But I suspect you’ll not let facts get in the way of your opinion. And the DSM — there is a history here, darling. It begins with Freud and Bieber and segues into the work of Ford, Szasz, and Hooker — the latter three taking issue with the psycho-analytic view of homosexuality. How this all led up to the 1973 decision is an interesting story, a political story. But I suspect you don’t know anything about this. You’d rather shoot from the hip. As I look at your posts here, I can only say you’ve got a point there — too bad you don’t put a hat on it and cover it up.

      • Stephen, frankly and honestly, I have never read any of those people. Nor do i actually care in any way. You know why? Because the only way I will ever have the right to live my life w/o being criminalized, is to fight politically, because asking nicely to be treated as a human being and respected as such didn’t work, so yeah, now we have to be active and have to DEMAND our right to exist freely in the faux “land of the free”. I’m sorry you think that means we have some secret agenda. The only agenda we have is wanting the right to exist without christians or anyone else trying to block us from having the same rights and protections you do, just because of who we love or who we are. So yes, there is an agenda.. it’s to be treated with basic respect and dignity by a western and european society that has demonized us for thousands of years without actual cause to do so other than some book written by bronze age shepherds tripping on ergot, or because they think we are icky.

        I get very tired of people Gaslighting. People like YOU have denied us our rights. We are fighting for them. That is our only agenda. To be allowed to live without mental midgets spouting pretend religious excuses for their reason to hate us and deny us our rights as human beings.

        Now. While I may not be as read as you on this subject. I have personal experience with oppression from this society because of who I am. That oppression is WHY I stand on the front lines and fight for my right to exist, fight for my right to be viewed as a human being and fight for my right to use the bathroom the matches who I am instead of being forced into a bathroom where I have a grossly high probability of being attacked, castigated, assaulted, raped or murdered by terrified little boys pretending to be men who lack a shred of decency or humanity.

        Yeah. I have an agenda. It’s to be allowed to live in peace, love who I want to love, marry who I love, and not be attacked or murdered for who I am. If you have a problem with that, that problem is your own until you make it mine, and you make it mine when you try to deny me my rights as a human being. And if that happens, I’ll see you in our state legislatures, and at the voting booth. Because I am politically active and I do vote.

        ~E

      • The problem El, is that you’ve breathed the gas fumes yourself — I don’t know anyone, Christian or otherwise, that actively seeks to persecute homosexuals. None. Nada. The rights you imagine have been denied you — did they magically disappear under Title IX? Have you seen anyone anywhere lobbying to take away your right to vote, to own a house, to take out a loan, to speak freely? The problem with what you say (and how you say it) is you do so with a flourish of hysteria that undermines any legitimacy to what you might have to say. And while the suggestion will no doubt fall on deaf ears, you might take the time to educate yourself about the philosophical and historical trajectory of homosexual rights. I don’t agree with it but I’ve taken the time to read people I don’t agree with BECAUSE it is an important issue of our time. For instance, you might start with a book by Richard Mohr, “Gays and Justice.” Regarding gender theory, Judith Butler’s “Gender Trouble.” A read of Foucault’s “History of Sexuality — Volume 1″ would also be in good order. While I don’t agree with much of what the activists say, my concern has nothing — NOTHING — to do with denying anyone their basic human rights. Rather, the issue is when activists start using the Office of Civil Rights, the DOJ, George Soros’ Foundations,”Dear Colleague Letters,” and political theater to force their normative views on me. When the government, partnering with NGO and private foundation funded groups force schools to teach LGBT philosophy in school, parents and students who disagree have a right to reject it. It’s ironic that people such as yourself make an appeal to a right to freedom of conscience but then turn around and deny it to others. Yours is a totalitarian spirit, a Bolshevik in kind. You slash and burn what you call Christian but I’m guessing you’ve never read the Church Fathers, don’t know the difference between the Catholic church and the Eastern Orthodox; couldn’t say what the Cappadocian Doctrine of the Trinity is, and have no idea how the Protestant view of Original Sin (following Augustine) differs from the Orthodox understanding of Ancestral Sin. I’m guessing you don’t read Greek or have bothered to look into translation issues of what is in the Septuagint and what this means for sexual sins as listed in Leviticus. But, more importantly, I’m guessing you don’t care. Because you’re an ideologue — content to condemn others while you remain sanctimonious in your ignorance. If you knew something about Christianity, it’d help your case. Let me guess — “who cares?”

        • OMG, who is being sanctimonious and then accusing others of same? Elain has a good reason to be angry if you will bother to read her testimony. A good reason to fight back for what is denied her. And you sit on your pretty little high horse banding about all your knowledge that in the end doesn’t amount to a hill of beans because it’s all empty words without action. And you in all this somehow feel threatened by Elain and by the LBGTI movement. I can’t understand that. You need to find someone to teach you about love in all your reading because I don’t see much evidence here of that.
          But here is sending you some love and hugs in Jesus.

      • Oh My God.. nobody is trying to persecute me? REALLY? What then, pray tell, are all those bills rolling through legislatures and statehouse all over this country pushed by puke ridden shit hole republicans pretending to be christians then? Huh? WTF are the 6 bills that they tried to pass here in Washington state? You are a very smart man obviously, who is clearly dumb as a rock.

        Seriously dude, you are gaslighting. Look it up. You obviously don’t know what the heck it means and you sure as heck don’t know what the hell you are talking about. I have lived with being discriminated against for who I am. You haven’t. I have experienced it PRSONALLY.

        Want me to start laying out all the times I have been discriminated against for being transgender? Lets start with, being evicted 2 days after informing my landlord that I would be changing my name and information. Then there was the job i was fired from 1/2 an hour after informing my boss of the same information. Want more? Because that is just the START of the shit I had to deal with in Florida, Georgia and Missouri.

        Not being allowed to vote? Really? Ok cupcake,what about the bills they are trying to push in I believe it is south Carolina that will deny ANY transgender person from changing their information legally, which then puts them in conflict with Federal laws?

        You obviously do NOT know what you are talking about. You likely live in an insulated little world where oppression never happens to you. Well just because it doesn’t happen to YOU does not mean it isn’t happening all over this country right now, to my trans siblings, to my gay siblings etc. Seriously dude. you do NOT know what you are talking about.

        So far THIS YEAR ALONE there are over 120 bills sliding through state legislatures seeking to allow discrimination of LGBT people, more than 44 of them directly targeting people like me.

        Oh and Stephen. I am a former minister. I not only know a great deal about the bible, it was that knowledge that made me choose to stop believing in it.

        So don’t bother responding. You’re clearly only interested in gaslighting and refusing to see the actual and REAL persecution and discrimination of LGBT people that is going on around you, right under your willfully ignorant nose.

        I just have this to say to you. I’m living that oppression every day, even here in Washington state with all our protections where just a couple days ago I had a woman who grabbed my purse and started going through it, screaming at the top of her lungs that she was going to prove I wasn’t a woman. She shattered about $300 worth of my makeup while doing so. Right there, I was being attacked for who I am. Oppressed for who I am. Disrespected, castigated, preached at by her. The venomous hate flowing from her has an effect.

        My RIGHT to exist and live my life happy in my own skin was assaulted by her ‘christian’ hate of me because I am transgender. THAT is oppression. THAT is another human being trying to take MY rights away and THAT is what I am talking about. That you “don’t know anyone, Christian or otherwise, that actively seeks to persecute homosexuals. None. Nada. ” is your life. It isn’t my life because the largest group actively trying to criminalize my existence, are people JUST EXACTLY LIKE YOU.

        So why don’t you quit being a self righteous condescending prick, climb down out of your ivory tower, walk your backside down to any of the LGBT organizations and tell them nobody is trying to deny them their rights. Go ahead. Face those accusing you if you think you are so right. I challenge you to do that. Sit down and LISTEN to our stories and get our experiences first hand, from the source.

        OBJECTIVELY look at the bills going through state legislatures. Objectiely LOOK at the GOP platform as they have it written down. LOOK at ALEC’s stance. The Family Research Council. Oh btw… every one of them will claim they are christians…. so your statement that no christians are actively trying to take our rights away.. is flat out wrong. We had to FIGHT to get the right to marry the people we love. Because CHRISTIANS opposed that and tried to DENY us a right they have.

        You know what. You obviously do not want to listen. You nit pick tiny areas of content and don’t look at the substance and direction of it. You want to sit here dropping the names of all the authors you’ve read, as if that makes you some kind of authority on the subject, when the fact is… you have academic, white washed ‘knowledge’ and no actual knowledge. Nuff said. I’m done with you. You can yap your ignorance all you want. You have nothing to say worth listening to because you think everything LGBT people experience on a daily basis around the world and in this country, is just made up dog whistles.

        excusatio non petita accusatio manifesta

        ~Elain

      • More hysteria — really? Lots and lots of bills? Name ONE that denies you any of your Constitutional rights. You can’t — because none of them do. And even if they do, in your fevered imagination, there is a political process. It can cut both ways — it can fall in favor of your cherished causes or it can cut against them. As I said, you’re an ideologue who wants to bluster and blubber in place of argument. I could care less what you imagine — it’s the facts you need to address. Name me ONE bill anywhere that seeks to take away a Constitutional right you currently have. One. Maybe you need to visit the ivory tower, or whatever cliched gripe you want to offer in place of an argument. Do yourself a favor and read a book. Nobody that I know feels “threatened” by your “movement.” They simply reject the normative scale you’d like to apply and make everyone agree to. Perhaps in the near future we’ll see adult children stepping forward demanding that they be allowed to marry their parents. And incest rights movement will spring up. Or, polygamous religious groups may demand “recognition.” Oh I know — you don’t care about critically engaging ideas — it’s all about your personal experiences — they trump everything. Godspeed El — in you’re solipsistic world you’re king —

      • And just in case you deign to condescend a thoughtful reply, that’s a CONSTITUTIONAL right — not a right you imagine you have, think you should have, or would like to have. And the last time I checked, Title IX was still in effect in Washington. There are all kinds of rights many of us would like to have but that doesn’t mean we are OWED them. Property rights sometimes mean the property owner’s say has more weight than ours. If we start to try and curb property rights too much, we’ll find ourselves forced by the government to do things with our property that we don’t want to — see the Trail of Tears and the American Indians for details. There is a difference between legal rights and what we believe to be our personal rights. When the two are conflated, we have people demanding prerogatives and protections that often conflict with the prerogatives and protections of others. That’s why these debates are so impassioned. One man’s right is another man’s violation of conscience. I don’t see anything in what you’ve said here that really addresses THAT issue. You’ve made everything personal, the old saw that the political is personal and vice versa. So, anyone that disagrees with how you read your “narrative” is a bigot and full of hate. That’s a formula for coercion —

      • *falls over laughing at the person that can’t seem to stop gaslighting for 3 seconds*

        You are slow and very very dense. For all your intelligence and ‘knowledge’ you don’t seem to care a whit about people being oppressed. People who’s very existence is being criminalized. You are a very smart man. I have no doubt about that. But you are stupid as fuck on social issues and discrimination. I’m done with you Stephen. There is no point talking to someone who is so sure of their moral superiority that they don’t feel the need to see where others are coming from, or what others have experienced. And Stephen, every one of those bills is trying to deny LGBT people the right to live their lives without facing discrimination and inequality. That you are so incredibly dense you are unable to see that… speaks more to your lack of empathy and understanding of what others go through, than anything else.

        Have a nice life. You will soon be relegated to that ancient world of fallen dinosaurs, like so many people before you.

        Sapiens qui prospicit, scientia ipsa potentia est, nos sunt a scientia vincere tenebras.

        ~Elain

      • Again, no argument just name calling. I’ll make it simple. Suppose I’ve had weird dreams since being a teenager. I then study up on Hinduism in College and come to believe in the doctrine of reincarnation. After majoring in French history, I come to believe I am the reincarnation of Marie Antoinette. I visit life regression therapists who confirm that yes, I do indeed believe I am Marie Antoinette trapped in a 21st century male body. I take to French like a fish to water. I begin to dress like Marie and insist that my employer call me “Marie” and that my titled be, “Your Highness.” I demand to change my name and that my new name be listed on my driver’s license. My brother, a Francophile, begins to believe that I am the reincarnation of Marie Antoinette, too. We fall in love and want to get married because, after all, we’re not really brothers. You cis-history people and your ignorant, bigoted views deny us the right to marry who we love. My employer refuses to change my name or call me Marie and the courts won’t let me change my name either — despite the fact that my therapist says for all practical purposes, I am the reincarnation of Marie Antoinette. My rights have been violated by cis-history bigots like you. I am trans-historical but you and various religious groups who don’t believe in reincarnation deny me my rights to be who I believe I am. Yes, I have Constitutional rights but that isn’t good enough. I have lost my job and I can’t marry who I want. Why don’t you trans-history bigots just let me be who I am —

        • I don’t know about you being trans-historical, but if you think that’s what being transgender is about, you’re definitely misinformed. It’s never a good idea to take a public stand on an issue you don’t really understand. And clearly, you don’t understand what being transgender is all about.

        • I really find your peevish sarcasm and disrespect for others a bit too much, Stephen. Why don’t you do a bit of research on the question of gender related to the births and gender identity at birth. It is an extremely complicated issue, and it is all scientifically recorded and reported. It has nothing to do with “choice” or “preference” or some such silly idea as you seem to concoct in your pee brain. I think you must have been born a eunuch who has frustrated dreams of being the Czar of Russia. What else could result in such ridiculous ideas. Or perhaps you come from another planet. Certainly, that must be it, for you display no humanity, no compassion, no mercy, no love. Yes, you can’t possibly be human. That must be the explanation for your hard-hearted, bitter, tearing-away at other human beings.

      • Condemnant quod non intellegunt.

        They condemn what they do not understand.

        Stephen, you are Gaslighting again. Obviously you are unable to stop doing that, because you have done it in every single response you have made to me. You ignore what I say and make comments that have nothing to do what so ever with anything I have said. You totally bypass the very real oppression I have mentioned, and toss up the constitution as if that is actually part of this conversation. Guess what. It’s not. The constitution is not the be all and end all of our rights as human beings. I am talking about discrimination. I am talking about systemic oppression. You are off on some other tangent entirely, thinking you are discrediting what I have said, when all you have done is paint yourself as a heartless, inconsiderate, holier than thou, boor.

        Contra principia negantem non est disputandum.

        There can be no debate with those who deny the foundations.

        ~Elain

  25. oh and BTW right now (until some law is passed to say otherwise) TRANSGENDER has been lumped into the GAY community. So until we have some political agenda on correcting the ignorant masses and a handbook on how to deal with EVERYONE in humanity and all of their very special needs it is impossible to truly have a conversation until the TRANS community has its OWN special legal identity. Soon the logic of just being HUMAN will be an impossibility because everyone wants a label and to be a part of a group. And WOE to all if your group is not part of the politically ACCEPTED groups because the witch hunt will then be your group. The insanity is only apparent to those who apply LOGIC but it is impossible when one group wants to hate another group because they were bullied by a few. Hate will continue to be hate until we realize we are all human beings. Until then LABELS will separate and one class of labels will always be out to demonize another class for their beliefs all part of the political agenda to have people hate people.

    • ahhh, the terminally ignorant and uninformed. Sorry to burst your bubble chrissy girl, but it was Transgender people who kicked off the “Gay Revolution”. It was us who pushed the LG part of LGBT to form up and start fighting for their right to exist because people JUST like you, were criminalizing us. It was transgender people who were on the front lines fighting the hate and bigotry (that you are so filled to over flowing with btw) that had and continues, to make our lives hell. It was transgender people who stood up and sparkled in the face of the darkness and hate flowing from people EXACTLY like you.

      And we are still fighting. Still standing up. Still calling ignorant and fearful little minds like yours out and dragging your hate into the light and showing everyone what you really are. Nor will we stop until EVERY state, EVERY country, recognizes our right to live, our right to exist, our right to walk down the street without being assaulted, spit on, reviled, castigated or murdered… by people EXACTLY like you.

      And we will win. Because we are right, and your hatred of us is wrong.

      *kiss Kiss* chrissy girl.

    • Dear Chis, I truly hope that very soon you will have a freed heart. I can only surmise by your comments that you get your information and views from possibly a narrow pool of information. I know it takes a lifetime of conditioning to hold onto these archaic and one-sided views. I know because I grew up in a very conservative, fundamentalist church (not my home, my parents were actually very cool) my church was not full of “bad” people, it just became evident that they didn’t bother to investigate any other side/opinion other than the one they grew up hearing. It became ingrained in the very fabric of their being. For me, it took a real shake up to reveal just how misinformed I had become. It didn’t happen over night, but over time I came to realize that people who were not exactly like me were just as acceptable as me. They were worthy of the same love, respect, consideration and acceptance that I craved. God loved them just as much as the next person. In essence I finally allowed my heart to be freed. Sometimes the louder and angrier our response to the topics we think we understand, but in reality might not, speaks to our own need to be understood and heard. May God bless you and soften your heart.

  26. Transgender woman here. Great read and we’ll said.

    I just want to use the bathroom. That’s the only reason I’m there. One the medications I take for hrt, spironolactone, is a testosterone blocker. It also acts as a diuretic. I’ve never had had to pee so often in my life. Couple that with the fact that as I progress with my transition, my bladder will shrink. That’s reality. That’s fact.

    We’re not begging for special treatment. Honestly we just want to be left alone. We want to use public restrooms without being harassed. We don’t want to be fired from our jobs for being our authentic selves. We would rather not be harrased, assaulted or murdered just for existing. It’s usually at the hands of white hetero men who are perpetrators of the latter.

    We are human beings. And we literally have to beg to be treated as such. It’s funny how hetero cis gender men will seek us out for private sexual encounters and turn right around and shun our very existence. Think about that for a second.

    Thank you for saying what needed to be said.

    • Then what is wrong with going in the bathroom of your gender? If all you want to do is pee, as you say, what’s wrong with the other bathroom? Why does it need to be legislated?

      I am a straight “cis” woman, and I have on occasion used the men’s room in an emergency. If that’s really all it’s about, what’s the big deal?

      • Um, because the gender she identifies with is female. So, she wants to use the bathroom that aligns with her gender identity. As do I. I think most of us feel the same way regarding what bathroom to use.

        • And of course.

          If you’re a Transwoman transitioned or living full time as a woman you identify as.

          Well using the men’s bathroom as claimed re birth sex.
          Can cause more problems since you might be in danger of being attacked or assaulted for using the men’s bathroom.

          There’s been some Fundie anti trans rhetoric going around online going on the lines as.” If I see a Caitlyn Jenner use the women’s bathroom. I beat her up because my daughter uses the bathroom. And if that freak uses the men’s bathroom I’ll beat it up because its an abomination!!!

          Straight Cis-women can cause problems in women’s bathrooms/changing rooms as it is. I see one of them got into trouble for photographing naked women in a Women’s Gym changing room. Just recently!

          SHOCK horror if that was done by a transwomen!!

          The fact is if you’re: Straight/Gay/Lesbian/Transgender if you deliberately do something inappriately in bathroom/toilet it’s against the law. And you should be arrested for it.

          Having said that. The vast, vast, vast majority of people including transgender people. Use the bathroom for what it is and aren’t harrassing or deliberating doing anything wrong in the bathroom. As they’re just going about their business!

  27. By categorizing Christians this way you are stereotyping them. I would assume that members of the LBGT don’t like being stereotyped. I suspect that other groups, religious or otherwise, don’t like being stereotyped either. Please don’t presume to speak for me. I don’t like to be labelled.

    • Unfortunately, the inflammatory title of this article had already alienated this Christian woman – even before I had a chance to read it. It made it difficult to read and agree with the points made because the author had already assumed, incorrectly I might add, what my bias would be.

      • If the shoe fits wear it, the saying goes, and methinks the shoe fits you to a T lady, otherwise you wouldn’t be taking the offense you have. Shame. There so much good in the article if you’ll just move beyond yourself for a bit. Maybe get a glimpse of what is like to be a transgender person. That’s really what we trying to do here rather than get too hung up on the Christianity thing and miss the main idea.

      • Actually… the title of the article is spot on. I have received more hate, disrespect and actual physical attacks by people who ‘claim’ to be christian, than I have from any other group. Hands down. Are all christians that way? No. And that isn’t what John was saying. But when bigotry masks as ‘christianity’ that becomes a problem. You made a CHOICE to view the title negatively and directed at you. But if you are not a bigot, then the title should not be offensive to you because it’s not directed at you. Your perceptions and preconceived notions triggered that reaction in you. The question you should ask ourself, is why?

        ~A Transgender woman named Elain

    • Thank you for your comment, C.

      Unfortunately, there is such a vast experience of mistreatment at the hands of Christians that the things John says are true.

      Any reasonable person knows there are exceptions, and in the hundreds…as a lifelong lover of God and a Christian, I know whereof I speak.

      If you could find it in your heart to not get your toes stepped on, and to know in your own soul that your hands are clean, it may enable you to then begin to stand with we who love God with our whole heart and also are created as we are.

      Knowing John as I do, I am certain he did not presume to speak for you…I am also certain he was speaking TO you…to us all. We are all culpable in many ways and we all have power in many ways to contribute to that glorious understanding of who we are in Christ.

      Blessings to you, and I rejoice that it is just your toes getting stepped on…I have had my face stepped on and it is far worse.

      Charissa

      • I just find it interesting that someone who is talking about bigotry and stereotyping is himself doing the very same thing in his article.

        People who criticize me for being a Christian without knowing me or my beliefs are making a huge error assuming that I do not agree with the points being made. Wrong, I do agree. I just dislike being lumped in with a bunch of misguided people who don’t.

        I hate labels as much as the rest of you. Jesus would have been appalled by the way some people are treated. The second half of the great commandment is “love your neighbor as yourself”.

        • I’m so sorry for your pain. I do know how it feels. May you find solace in Jesus’s promise that in this world you will face tribulation for His Name sake. May you be granted Grace to return goodness for hurt, and Mercy for judgement. May this pain of feeling poked at be evocative of compassion for those who are literally beaten simply for breathing. And may you be strengthened in your faith that Jesus has overcome the world.

          I speak Peace to you, may the Peace of Christ be with you, and rest assured that I will look you up in heaven and give you a hug ❤

      • Thank you for your response. I am reacting the way I am because I am just tired of Christian bashing and don’t want to let it go anymore. I recognize that there are challenges in your life and the life of many. I respect that and my personal life goal is to be open, non-judgmental and welcoming to all wherever in life they find themselves.

        I am just tired of the blanket statements that people throw out there. I am sure that you are too. A catchy title, using an Old Testament phrase and aimed at a certain sector of society just makes me angry. If someone wants to win me over to their way of thinking, alienating me from the git go is not the way to do it.

      • You are tired of christian bashing? Oh poor thing. You know what I am tired of? I am tired of having my very existence bashed by, denied by, criminalized by, christians. I am tired of being spit on, having urine thrown on me, feces thrown on me, being castigated, assaulted, brutalized and victimized by so-called ‘christians’. I am tied of my transgender family being villainized by ‘christians’ for literally no other reason than we exist. I am tired of christians trying to discriminate against my LGBT family in the name of their ‘religion’. For a religion claimed to be based on love… it sure is filled with a lot of hate. You can’t love someone while at the same time trying to criminalize their existence. It just means you are not being truthful and you really just hate them.

        So maybe, if you are so tired of it, then you should get off your backside and confront those self identified ‘christians’ who are giving all christians a bad name by their hate driven rhetoric. I used to BE a christian, but the amount of hate I have seen pouring out of a group of people who supposedly follow Jesus… was more than enough for me to decide that christianity as a whole, is a hate group and not actually followers of Jesus (followers of Paul, yes, Jesus…. no) regardless of what they pretend.

        Until christians stop allowing hate to spew from the mouths of their preachers and congregations… you are guilty of allowing it, and that means you get branded as a hater by everyone else. If you don’t like that suit, then I suggest you start speaking up to the ones causing it, your fellow ‘christians’, not getting upset at the ones who have suffered because of christians bad behavior and neither like, or trust any of you because of it.

        ~Elain

  28. Chris, you said…
    “and a handbook on how to deal with EVERYONE in humanity and all of their very special needs it is impossible to truly have a conversation ”

    You already do have a handbook regarding how to treat all of humanity. It’s in the Bible and the words are red.

  29. Okay, I read some of the replies but I want to approach this from my perspective. I am a white, female. I am Christian but that has nothing to do with my view on this. Frankly I have always hated sharing a bathroom with anyone, G,S,T, child, of any color, etc. I don’t even want my daughter to be there with me. I hate to get naked in front of people. Is that clear enough? Perhaps a lot of other folks feel that way. I wish we had single bathrooms for everyone everywhere and then this wouldn’t be a problem.

    • I get what you are saying Cindy. However, I must also say I have never had to get naked in front of other people to use a public restroom room. All anyone wants to do when they are out in public and have the need to pee is just that. Get in, get out. The issue of who uses which rest room is kind of ridiculous. Some one wisely posted this: It is not likely that anyone was waiting around for a law to pass and thinking “great now that this law has passed I can finally dress up like a woman and go around to public restrooms and sexually assault people/ women / children……………..”

  30. I just found your blog, and I was considering following you based on a few of your other posts. However, if you do not see the obvious disconnect here, then I can’t follow you. I know this won’t be any great loss to you, but I hope you look into the matter further before making this kind of judgement call.

    Transgender people choose to be who they are. They choose to call themselves such, to mutilate their bodies and try to chemically change themselves to the way they “feel inside”. The feeling is real, yes, but it is a disorder similar to schizophrenia and identity disorder. It’s not something to be celebrated or protected, it’s to be treated and contained. You would not tell a schizophrenic or a sociopath to “follow their heart” and do what they believe best “inside”, so why do we expect that of doctors faced with gender dysphoria disorder?
    Now, I’m on my phone right now, so I don’t have my sources with me. However, I’m sure there are people reading this post who have those sources available, or I can provide them later when I get back to my computer.
    God does not make mistakes. He just doesn’t. If you feel like you were “born in the wrong body”, maybe you should the Book on who made you. “For I knit you within your mother’s womb; before you were born I knew you.”(Jeremiah 1:5) So, if God makes us within the womb, does it seem likely that He would put you in the wrong body? He, who is perfect? No.

    This is not to say that some people are born with a disconnect in their brains that causes them to think this. I realize that is the case, and I know people who have struggled with this. This is not a result of God’s mistake, but rather the purely vile nature of sin: it pervades every cell in us and destroys God’s perfect creation.

    Modern medicine is a miracle gifted to us by scientists working through God’s design and through the genius given by God to allow them to heal the sicknesses that were brought on by original sin.

    I know this has been a long and rambling comment, but I hope you read it. And you are reading this and struggle with gender dysphoria, please know that I love you and I am praying for you and your healing. Let me know if there is any way that I can help you.

    May the stars shine upon the hour of our meeting.

    Just a note here at the end, I have never read a more bigoted and vitriol-filled set of comments in my entire life. It makes me physically sick.

    • Some of those comments are like that because of people like you come and tell others that you know better how they must feel and what their problem is. It’s a case of the pot calling the kettle out. I hope you decide not to come back on John’s blog because this blog doesn’t need narrow minded Christians like you who think they have all the answers because “The Book” says so. Such a lot of tosh. You make me want to be a heretic and and aetheist. Some witness for Christ you are. Just adding to the things that I hope might make you feel a little more sick and take yourself off this blog. Bless you as you go. Mind the door doesn’t hit you!

      • I’m sorry you feel that way. I was trying to be nice and state my opinion, which is based on my research and study of the Bible, calmly. If this is the reaction I will get here for doing so, then you are the one who is a poor witness for Jesus.
        Blessings to you as well.

        • What gives you any idea I might be witnessing for Jesus? No such plan. Lol! Who would want to spend time with you. Not me. Give me some transgender and gay companionship any time. They are kind, caring folk who have been through a lot and have first hand experience unlike the know-alls who actually think they know everything and know nothing at all. They can’t even read The Book nicely. Lol.

          • I’m sorry, I misunderstood. Since you were so adamant that I am not a good witness for Christ, I assumed that you were intimately involved with Christ so as to judge others.
            Since I am a bit more choosy with my friends, your companionship would not be missed.

            If reading my Bible and studying what God says about homosexuality and transgenderism makes me a know-it-all, then I am happy to be so. Bless your heart.

    • To be succinct, Sarah, you don’t know what you are talking about. Your quote from scripture does not alter the fact that not all people are born with a physical sex that matches their gender identity. Nor are all people born with a clearly distinguishable physical sex. Nor are all people born neatly divided into XX and XY chromosomes. If Jeremiah 1:5 meant what you think it does, then there would be no such thing as birth defects of any kind, or if there were, we would have to conclude that God deliberately made people incorrectly.
      Here’s a simple fact for you: God created a grand total of two people from scratch. All the rest of us, billions upon billions of people since that time, have been born according to the rules of biology and genetics. And there are countless things that can go wrong.
      Trans people don’t decide to be trans. They KNOW they are trans, often from earliest childhood. With all due respect, you are speaking from a position of ignorance, with no experience and evidently no real knowledge of the subject. Do you even know any trans people? Do you know their stories? What they have lived through?

      • To be succinct, yes. Other than hermaphrodites, they are born with either a penis or vagina. It’s simple biology, nothing more.
        Jeremiah 1:5 means exactly what it says. Sin has corrupted God’s perfect creation, as I mentioned in my original comment. This is what causes the problems you speak of.
        There is a definite disorder that causes people to feel as though their biology doesn’t match their mind. It’s a terrible affliction, but it isn’t to be given into, but diagnosed and treated like the personality and mental disorder it is.

        And no, I don’t know any trans people who have “embraced” their disorder. I do know a few who have struggled and have either overcome or are overcoming this disorder.

        I am one of them.

        • Simple biology? Biology teaches us that a person with XX chromosomes is female. But there are people with XX chromosomes who have male anatomy. Do we determine their sex and gender from their anatomy or chromosomes? And what about people who have mixture of XX and XY cells, offering no clear clue to actual sex?
          I’ve shared this story before, but I will do it again, because it gives a good example of what could happen if a person who felt there was a mismatch between gender and physical sex ignored that feeling and listened to misguided, ignorant people who insisted God doesn’t “make such mistakes.”
          In the early 1960’s, a baby boy was born and named Tom. Nothing unusual about Tom, from all appearances, a perfectly normal baby boy. The first sign of something wrong was when Tom was a small child, because Tom rejected the notion of being a boy, claiming to be a girl. This wasn’t some fantasy or something Tom was going to outgrow… this was a definite, fixed idea, and no amount of physical evidence of being male could shake it. Tom’s parents believed that this was a delusion, and that any attempt to alter physical sex was a sin. So they refused to allow any transitioning. By age 18, Tom was over 6 feet tall and had very heavy growth of facial hair. Finally free of parental control, Tom was formally diagnosed as transgender and began to transition to Laura. An early chromosome test was done, and the results were abnormal: some cells were male, others were female. Had Laura listened to her parents and church, she never would have learned that, but would have gone through life in a male body, trying to fight the knowledge of being female. When surgery was done, the real surprises came: Internally, Laura had been female all along: She had a uterus, ovaries, and a partial vaginal tract. She lacked a prostate gland. It turns out that as a male, she had been sterile. Once the testicles were removed, her ovaries began to function, producing estrogen. A typical case? Hardly. But it demonstrates the point that people’s medical care and decisions should not be made based on fear, ignorance and the religious beliefs of others. Religion is not science, nor should it pretend to be. Throughout the history of the past 2000 years, Christianity is routinely opposed things that were later shown to be facts: the fact that the earth is round and travels around the sun. The fact that being left-handed is a genetic trait, not the result of demonic influence. Ditto for red hair, which in some circles was also thought to be demonic.
          That gender identity exists independently of physical sex is already established. People can rail against it all they like, but it is true. For the vast majority of people, physical sex and gender identity match. For a minority, they do not. Obviously, that’s not the way it should be, and it can make life very, very uncomfortable, if not downright miserable.
          Medical science has no way at present to alter someone’s gender identity. It cannot be changed through psychotherapy, medication, hypnosis. Therefore, at present, the ONLY solution we can offer such people is the opportunity to alter their physical sex to match their gender identity.
          There is only one proven case where God has intervened to alter the gender identity of a trans person. But given what happened after that, I wouldn’t blame Him one bit if He never did it again. Instead of giving God the glory for that great miracle, the person listened to ignorant people in the church and began to tell people that God had instead cured him of homosexuality! That was a blatant lie, a slap in the face to God who had actually done a wonderful thing for that man.
          Do I believe you have known people who have successfully changed their gender identity or are successfully in the process of doing so? Not for a minute. I don’t believe that anymore than I believe in ex-gays. I am all too aware of how people are able to delude themselves, wanting so much for a thing to be true, following the advice of uneducated people, only to have it all explode one day when they can no longer lie to themselves. I also know what happens after that. I’ve got decades of experience dealing with the aftermath of such things… the loss of faith in God, the self-loathing, the severe depression, and way too often, suicides. I know that people like you, as well-intentioned as you may be, do far more harm to such people than you can imagine, and do not help them in any way at all. You’re like the bull in the china shop, doing all kinds of damage, oblivious to it all. It’s left to others to go in an clean up the mess, and salvage whatever might be salvaged.
          Too bad you never thought it worthwhile to get to know any of the many, many trans people who have successfully transitioned and are living happy, healthy, productive lives. Many are in ministry, or in churches, living for God, finally feeling whole and complete.

        • Sarah, from your quoting of scripture, I think perhaps you have mixed up a couple of them? Jeremiah 1:4-5 is the account of God calling a reluctant Jeremiah to be a prophet: “The word of the LORD came to me, saying, ‘Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you; before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.'” Psalm 139: 13-14 says, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

          Neither scripture is meant to be a science text. One is an account of God persuading Jeremiah to be a prophet, and the other is a song attributed to David in which he reflects on his intimate relationship with God, using poetic and metaphorical language.

          Neither scripture addresses gender issues. In my opinion, in both scriptures, the writers are trying to express something that words cannot adequately express–the mysterious, intimate, complex, lofty relationship between a person and their God. I find that to be beautiful! No need to use them as “clobber” verses or as reasons to police public restrooms. I get to enjoy them for what they are: a glimpse into the souls of two men who loved God.

      • I just found this blog today as a result of a Google search, and after reading a few of these articles — would that I had known a Christian like John all of my life! There’s no doubt I would still be one.

        Instead, much like Elain, I have also received intolerance from the Christian end. It went even further in that it was not from strangers, but my own biological father.

        …but I digress. I have posted here for you, Sarah. I use the term “transsexual” instead of transgender in what follows, and there’s a reason for that: I’m not a layperson here; unfortunately, you are.

        1. Being transsexual is not a choice. There’s substantial evidence to show that it’s related to bits of the brain that are improperly sexed from birth (which are “organised”), and the remainder of the condition is thought to be “activated” at puberty; this is called the organisation-activation theory. Transsexuality is a birth condition, and nobody who has honestly examined the evidence could conclude any differently.

        In addition, transsexuality has a long and storied history of being highly resistant to any treatment outside of transition — there is nothing that can treat it out of you, and I can point you to psychological testimonials and studies that vouch for this. I’m sorry if this news pains you, but you’re deluding yourself when you suggest it’s a condition that can be “overcome” — if only that were true! I used to call this the “transsexual cycle of denial” — and you’re right in the middle of that as we speak. You’ll keep coming around to what you are, no matter what you do. Until it finally forces you to deal with it.

        If you have been mislead by a professional into thinking any of this, they are flat-out lying to you.

        2. Sex reassignment surgery is no more “mutilation” than any other plastic surgery. When you say that, you are in essence saying that millions of men who have had prostate cancer (and an orchiectomy) or breast cancer (and a mastectomy) have “mutilated” themselves, because both of these operations are a big part of sex reassignment on either end. Obviously, this is not the case at all and you have only convinced yourself that this surgery is drastically different from any other.

        3. Transsexuality is not a “mental illness” — it hasn’t been officially considered that for three years in psychology now (since the advent of the DSM-V), and it never was in the first place. If one was to make a comparison of the condition, it is far closer to intersexuality of the brain than it is to schizophrenia. Studies have demonstrated transsexual brains are close to opposite sex controls in roughly a dozen different dimorphic areas, and a recent study shows that scans of white matter show the condition.

        4. This may come as a surprise, but there was no Adam and Eve. The original couple of the Bible is a genetic impossibility, and what you are proposing based on the Bible (that mistakes are never made or people are produced unflawed) does not occur in nature. I can only assume that this is your remarkably shallow viewpoint of things at work, because children are born with plenty of intersex conditions daily.

        What of women who are infertile? Women who aren’t born with uteri or vaginas (Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser syndrome)? Women who are born with XY chromosomes? I have known a genetic chimera in my life, someone who was so difficult to sex that they gave her two birth certificates.

        God may not make mistakes, but nature most certainly does. It has nothing to do with sin hocus pocus as you believe, and a lot more to do with good old fashioned genetic mutation and variation.

        I have taken my time out to write this for you, and I sincerely hope it helps you deal with your issues.

        Since I’ve been there and done that, it seems to me that you’ve got a good amount of self-loathing going on about your own status there. I would imagine it’s why you are channelling it into hating on transsexuality and futilely attempting to convince yourself that it’s curable. I tried everything and the kitchen sink myself back in the day, and I cannot stress enough that this is not “treatable” in the fashion you believe it is. It will be with you for the rest of your life. Do with that information what you will.

    • Your ‘knowledge’ flies in the face of medical science. That is enough for me to dismiss you out of hand.

  31. Call it or call me what you want but I have a right to feel safe n restrooms is one of those places. Is very simple if you have a dick you belong in the men’s restroom n if you have a gina in the women’s. If you feel strong enough in what you think you are, cut them off n get a gina n then you’re welcome in the women’s restroom. End of story!!!

  32. Call it or call me what you want but I have a right to feel safe n restrooms is one of those places. Is very simple if you have a dick you belong in the men’s restroom n if you have a gina in the women’s. If you feel strong enough in what you thi

  33. Talk about being misdirected! Can we just get back on track here? This is not about 0.3% of the population! It’s about 100% of the population!
    This isn’t a law or a bill but a demand by the administration. It is a power grab by this government trying to tell us how to live. This new federal demand covers students using bathrooms and locker rooms in grade school to sharing dorms in college. (Sharing dorms of the opposite sex is different than co-ed; think of a strange man sharing a dorm room with your daughter.) And that doesn’t even scratch the surface.
    If we don’t give into those demand then the government is threatening to withhold millions in federal aid (beginning with education). This is nothing short of the kind of blackmail our forefather’s called tyranny! I thought there were laws against blackmail!

  34. What a bigoted article. Do you seriously think that only “Christians” have a problem with adult males using the bathroom with them? How shallow and ridiculous.

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