On the Day I Die

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On the day I die a lot will happen.

A lot will change.

The world will be busy.

On the day I die, all the important appointments I made will be left unattended.

The many plans I had yet to complete will remain forever undone.

The calendar that ruled so many of my days will now be irrelevant to me.

All the material things I so chased and guarded and treasured will be left in the hands of others to care for or to discard.

The words of my critics which so burdened me will cease to sting or capture anymore. They will be unable to touch me.

The arguments I believed I’d won here will not serve me or bring me any satisfaction or solace.   

All my noisy incoming notifications and texts and calls will go unanswered. Their great urgency will be quieted.

My many nagging regrets will all be resigned to the past, where they should have always been anyway.

Every superficial worry about my body that I ever labored over; about my waistline or hairline or frown lines, will fade away.

My carefully crafted image, the one I worked so hard to shape for others here, will be left to them to complete anyway.

The sterling reputation I once struggled so greatly to maintain will be of little concern for me anymore.

All the small and large anxieties that stole sleep from me each night will be rendered powerless.

The deep and towering mysteries about life and death that so consumed my mind will finally be clarified in a way that they could never be before while I lived.

These things will certainly all be true on the day that I die.


Yet for as much as will happen on that day, one more thing that will happen.

On the day I die, the few people who really know and truly love me will grieve deeply.

They will feel a void.

They will feel cheated.

They will not feel ready.

They will feel as though a part of them has died as well.

And on that day, more than anything in the world they will want more time with me.

I know this from those I love and grieve over.

And so knowing this, while I am still alive I’ll try to remember that my time with them is finite and fleeting and so very precious—and I’ll do my best not to waste a second of it.

I’ll try not to squander a priceless moment worrying about all the other things that will happen on the day I die, because many of those things are either not my concern or beyond my control.

Friends, those other things have an insidious way of keeping you from living even as you live; vying for your attention, competing for your affections.

They rob you of the joy of this unrepeatable, uncontainable, ever-evaporating Now with those who love you and want only to share it with you.

Don’t miss the chance to dance with them while you can.

It’s easy to waste so much daylight in the days before you die.

Don’t let your life be stolen every day by all that you’ve been led to believe matters, because on the day you die—the fact is that much of it simply won’t.

Yes, you and I will die one day.

But before that day comes: let us live.




445 thoughts on “On the Day I Die

    • Things nobody ever says from their death beds:

      – I wish I would have worked more.
      – I regret all the time I spent with my family
      – If only I would have had a nicer car and a bigger house

    • The problem is that we do not know at all if there is gonna be “Late in life ” when we will be sitting in our rocking chair on our porch…

      • So true, ewa – so quit preparing supper and go out on that porch & watch the sunset with your loved one – toss the ball one more time with your grandkids – go visit a friend – call an old friend – supper will wait! Life goes by way too fast – I know because I am 81 yrs. old – I always thought when I retired, when the kids left home, life would go by more slowly – IT DOESN’T – IT FLYS! Enjoy what is around you!

          • Very true.I have never stop to think I was gonna lose my daughter I was with her day in ,day out but never did I think I was gonna have to let her go

              • My niece left us when she was 27, I was 45. Never a day goes by that I don’t mourn for her, I loved her so much. She was my rock. I know God had plans for her and she I making beautiful using in heaven, one day I will join her.

                • I heard at a funeral once and have never forgotten: As a ship sails from the shore and we watch as it over the horizon and out of our sight as with our loved ones we say they have gone but on a far distant shore there are others and they say “Look here comes the ship” and they are reunited with all of their loved ones who have gone before . It gives me comfort on a daily basis to know my mum is in the arms of her mum once again.

                • My nephew who had just turned 20 yrs old was killed in car accident on July 3rd 2016! I will never be the same again! I know one day I will meet him(Tyler), husband & mommy in heaven!! They will be waiting by the river!

              • It is so difficult when someone young passes away. My Brother passed away on June 5th at 30 years old. I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I know how you feel, as I see my parents grieving. Prayers to you.

                • I’m so sorry about your loss too. My son passed away at 24 and the void last forever. I pray that when I die he will come to greet me. ????
                  God bless you and all those that lose their children.

                  • Thanks for your input I loss my baby boy at the age of 14. It’s been 24 yrs ago the pain I can’t describe but it’s been a very empty life without him. We miss him so much.

                  • I too am sorry for all who lost loved ones, especially their children. I understand – my sweet boy died at 25. 4 and 1/2 years and I miss him everyday. I too pray that he will be there to greet me when I die!

                    • I too lost my son Michael…Dec 31/2016
                      ..he was 22….I never knew pain like this existed. .never ending pure grief. …I love and miss my boy so much…..healing hugs to you

                • I can feel for everyone who loses a loved one. I lost my son, Curtis , 37 with heart failure the week after Thanksgiving, 2016.He left his son, 16 yrs, daughter, 13 yrs., wife, four step children he raised from when they were very young, sister, brother . It hurts sometimes more than others. God is my Rock

                • I lost my daughter Gabby @ 16 yr to suicide. The pain is unbearable some days. It will be 2 years of grief work come March 5 th. I have hope in the after life…seeing her again.

              • I lost my daughter too. So unexpected….5 years ago. Times doesn’t name it easier. I wish I had spent that last whole evening just being with her. Instead I was out shopping. And she was at home. Later we watched tv together for a couple of hours before we went to bed. I kissed her goodnight…told her I loved her and off I went to bed. She went to bed too. But she never woke up.. It never crossed my mind such a thing could happen. Never take a single moment for granted. We never know when a moment with someone we love might be the last one we will have.

            • You are so right. I NEVER expected my son to go before me. Maybe God knew a Scott needed the emotional comfort only HE could give to Scott if he were in heaven. God made mother’s extra strong lest we be unable to bear the unbearable pain we would go through with the loss of a child. Them emotional pain of losing a child is far worse than the labor pain we endure to bring that child into the world.

        • Yes it does! I’m only 62. Days go by faster and faster. I love sittin’ on my porch. But do wish I was as active as I used to be.

          • Now that I’m the same age as you And just lost the last of my family I know I would have been more active than I am.
            I always needed someone to live for and now I have no one. If I went somewhere I always had someone to tell about it.
            But now turning a key to enter an empty house takes away the meaning of where I had gone and my telling of it.
            I do not like this “new reality”, in fact, I detest it.

            • George,
              Thanks for sharing about your situation. Sorry to hear about your loses. I hope you try some new things and reach out. Eventually, you will find some new people to care about. This world is filled with much loneliness and sometimes unkindness, and so many people need and could appreciate from your spirit and from your company. Best wishes xoxo, B

        • Flying time, the bane of the elderly. Trying to cram in all the activities one didn’t have time for when working only makes it fly faster.

        • Granny Beth. You are so so right. We were so looking forward to Being able to spending time traveling and enjoying our retirement years but that was not to be. When I retired he only lived 3 months so please spend every moment you can enjoying the time you have now. Don’t put it off oo long.

          • When my Dad retired, he and mom were gonna travel, having never been on a vacation. She got sick. They finally diagnosed her with cancer. She lived 3 months. They never got to take that vacation.

        • I agree totally with you. I am approaching 77 and have had so many serious illnesses that brought me so close to death’s door. But God wanted me to live. Getting older is not easy, your mind and body are no longer in sync. You still feel young, think young, but your body says slow down and enjoy sitting in your rocking chair. But by today standard keep us busy and on the move. However you realize one day, wow I really this old? What happened to the last 10 years, they just went too fast. So enjoy the time you have for non is promised.

      • Granny Beth has a great reply. But I am only 38, and know too many friends that have already come to pass leaving their family and friends behind way to soon. I have learned through many hard times of losing good friends too soon, that yes, let some this go and enjoy the moments you can.

    • I had a birthday recently. A has been very much in turmoil lately. My husband had a stroke the day after Christmas became a type 1 a few days before Christmas we were having money problems we ever had in our lives married thirty-seven years. he took me out for dinner where we encountered angels now you can believe can disbelief but I am 100% sure that I encountered angels. they paid for my dinner stuck the money in my purse. Saying happy birthday to me and decided they didn’t want to wait at Outback they came in after us and left but not without my birthday song and money and here’s the kicker they were going to get wings. Actually didn’t hit me for a week that they left to get wings but when it hit it hit like a ton of I met angels. Everything that was going so bad suddenly changed they came good our problems disappeared. Just like they say they came in did their job and I know they were angels. Thank you God for sending them to me.

  1. Very true, John But there’s a typo: shouldn’t your 3rd from last sentence read:

    Don’t let your life be stolen every day >by the belief that< all that you believe matters, because on the day you die, much of it simply won’t.

    Yours in precise prose….

  2. 29 June 2009…I rose before 4 AM, fed and walked the dog, checked my husband in the hospital bed the hospice had set up in out living room, gave him a dose of pain medication, cleaned the oxygen canister, made sure the caretaker had all needed supplies and refreshments in the refrigerator – and I went to work, arriving at 6:30. Logging on, doing database administration, etc …something said to me that I should go through the list of funeral and cremation services the hospice had given me. I left work at noon, because the caretaker would be leaving at 1 PM – arrived home, was chatting with her; shed bathed him and made him comfortable; he’d stopped eating and drinking; I offered him ice chips for any thirst. As the caretaker was leaving, we looked at my husband, and she said to me, ‘I think he’s going’. I watched him die – I was 51 years old and no one I ever loved had died in my life up to this point – not parents, cousins, other relatives or friends.

    My life has never been the same since – I miss him every single day. My life has changed in ways large and small – I have an empathy for those who have loved ones die that I did not have before.

    The day I die is the day i believe I will be reunited with him, no longer crippled with psoriatic arthritis, hepatic encephalopathy, anemia; he will be able to walk, and he’d better run, for I intend to chase him and apply the Black Woman’s Hand to his Montana Farmer Boy Butt – I will smack him (only once) for leaving me, and enjoy real life in the Kingdom of Heaven forever ( and I hope that all of Heaven will laugh and rejoice with me!)

    • I get it. My son passed from cancer in my arms a year & a half ago. I relived all of it over & over until I heard his voice in my head say to let it go. Don’t remember me like that. Remember me when I was well & happy. So that’s what I try to do. I don’t always succeed but I try. I look forward to the day we will be reunited in spirit & until then try to honor his life by being kinder, more compassionate, more aware of life’s many blessings. Joy has not yet returned but I have found peace again. And incredible continued love for him & all.
      This is the most difficult experience we as humans can go through I think. To learn to live without those we love. To go on in a new way.

      • Love this but you have a little typo in your first line and I reread it and thought I read it right the first time but no it’s incorrect. . You say: On the DIE I DAY a lot will happen. should be on the DAY I DIE bu hey, I loved this and will keep it in my files. It’s powerful. I just lost my son this past September and it’s so very hard. . Hope you do’t mind I posted this error.

      • Jan, you are truly beautiful in your thoughts. I just lost my father & I think about all the wonderful times & I know he will remain a part of me. I am also learning to go on in a new way. Bless you.

    • I can sympathize with you my love, for my husband had a stroke after a rather good day of dialysis. But gradually declined with poor hospital care. Finally, on a respirator not properly functioning,he went into cardiac arrest at age 53, and I with his daughter had to decide to stop all life care. I did this, after doing the same for my mom 10 yrs earlier, and dad a yr later. I will always carry the guilt of being the “one”.

    • Sorry for your loss. What a beautiful story; thank you for sharing.
      Yes, smack that Montana Farmer Boy Butt. Twice! The second for affection:-).

    • My husband was 54 when I lost him to an inoperable brain tumor. Like you, I had him at home, took a leave from work and tended to him with the help of hospice. When hospice wasn’t there, I learned to change the hospital bed with him in it and move him to prevent bed sores. Just before he died, I told him I loved him, kissed him and said that it was OK for him to go, and that I would be OK. I left to get a glass of water, came back and he had passed. To this day, 15 years later, I think he wanted to hear those words and didn’t want me to witness his last breath. I am crying now, but good memories keep him close to my heart.

    • I,too, watched my husband die. Like you, I expect him to be waiting for me in heaven, and we’ll dance a rhumba again! ????

    • Beautiful!
      I was caregiver to my dying parents. What a privilege to hold vigil over them at the end of this part of life.
      My Priest tells me “Church is where you prepare to die”. (We Greek Orthodox don’t get scared talking about death)
      I’m 68 and getting ready!
      I’m here but my heart is looking forward and I have work to do.
      When someone you love dies, it’s amazing how little fame and fortune means. Your perspective changes as you said so well.

    • I lost my husband 15 years ago, I know the pain and anger and surviver’s guilt.
      Allow yourself to mourn and grieve but, let time heal you and LIVE.
      Live for the both of you
      I am sure your husband wants you to

    • Your message touched my heart.in 2001 my husband left to go to work.. riding his bicycle.we had been going through alot I had just had surgery 10 months after my last son was born.. needless to say things had been hectic.as he said goodbye that day I shrugged him off mad about something little..he was hit by a truck right out side our home.. life flighted to school falls where the decision was made to take him off life support..those last hours I lyed with him as he took his last breaths were just…..anyways my high school love..the love off my life was gone ..I too had never experienced death..no one I was close to had died before this..hear wrenching..but I too hold on to the day we will dance as he sings to me..

    • I lost my dear wife in a very similar manner November 9th 2015. 10 months ago today. She was 51 years young and battled cancer for a gruelling hard 18months. She passed away at home surrounded by loving friends and family holding her hands. The hardest part for me was not being able to help her. Sure, i was there for the meds. the cleaning, the bathing but i couldn’t make her better! My life will also never be the same! We were high school sweethearts who ran away from home at 16 to be together and were a team for 34 years. I too can’t wait until I will be reunited with wife. I wish you all the best!

  3. Working in a hospital where so many do die, everyday; I’ve come to realize how peaceful many of them become, looking forward (or some not) to meeting Jesus. The world of man means very little to them. They are polite, but the appointments, the “well nice seeing you again (that uncomfortable I don’t know how to say you’re dying phrase), but I’ve got to get the kids to hockey practice” cease to have urgency or necessity. Its that wholeness, that peacefulness I see in them; that I strive for everyday while I live in kindnesses, in loving God here, in nature, animals, in doing things for others without them knowing that make life meaningful.
    Well said, John…….let us live. Be kind to one another.

    • marcgilbert662, Please reconsider your atheism. At least look into it. I would hate for you to be denied everlasting life in the glorious kingdom of Heaven with your creator. God loves you no matter what you believe, though.

        • Neither does religion change anything. You may not want to see us atheists die without faith, but as a former Evangelical of 40 years, I regret those wasted years. I am now a happy atheist and enjoying life as it should be.

        • I believe that it is never too late to ask for forgiveness. As we lay with our last breath let it be Jesus please forgive me for my sins. All though I have many painful issues and regretfully had to go on disability after 40 plus years of working. My wife left after a affair on the internet and won the house and our get away. I believe that God has placed us on earth as a test for the very short life’s ups and downs. I look forward to once again see all of my loved ones that I believe are in heaven. I sit here with no monies and a son that needs my help. what do I do God helps those who help them selves.; I thank God every day for my family and friends. Ted

    • God’s SON, is the way to the father, he will give you rest.. You only must believe, and seek him. He would have died, for only you…

    • Why not believe? You have everything to gain and nothing to lose. There is a song called “What if you’re wrong” by Mike Walker. Listen to it.

      • Neither does religion change anything. You may not want to see us atheists die without faith, but as a former Evangelical of 40 years, I regret those wasted years. I am now a happy atheist and enjoying life as it should be.

  4. I enjoy your posts. I liked this one at first. Until I noticed I could not get it out of my mind. For anyone who is going through a rough period in their life. You are offering relief in leaving this world. I know this was not intended. I like most of your posts but not this one.

    • Trying not to think of it as a zero sum proposal. We can embrace living and capturing joy wherever it may come and still make peace with the inevitable. Few things are either/or. Your reservations bring to mind the wise words from our fine philosopher Stephen Sondheim:

      Why not both instead? There’s the answer, if you’re clever. . .
      Just a moment, One peculiar passing moment…
      Must it all be either less or more, Either plain or grand? Is it always “or”? Is it never “and”?

      Oh, if life were made of moments,
      Even now and then a bad one!
      But if life were only moments,
      Then you’d never know you had one.

      Let the moment go…
      Don’t forget it for a moment, though.
      Just remembering you’ve had an “and”,
      When you’re back to “or”,
      Makes the “or” mean more
      Than it did before.

    • My dear, as someone who has gone through many rough patches, to quote my beautiful mother in love, this too will pass. I often thought the same thoughts as you, but I wouldn’t have the wisdom I have today had I not “passed the open windows” in life. There is much to do, people to touch, and yes, people to remind that you will make it through tough patches because you had a 100% record of making it through the past tough patches. Open your hands and let go of all the troubling thoughts that seems to bind you. We cannot receive blessings in closed hands.???? God bless you dear! I’ll pray for you tonight. ????????

  5. I love this piece of writing. I suffer from a group of rare diseases and sometimes struggle to “do” much at all in a day. Chronic illness has a tendency to make us focus on the half empty cup. This piece of writing is a good example of the balance of cup half empty half full idea. In particular it is a great reminder to me to focus on what matters in my life and to be thankful for all I have. Beautiful words at a perfect time (Rare disease Day was yesterday) and a gentle but significant emotional impact. I may well save this to be read at my funeral.

    • Some people say “My glass is half full.” Some people say “My glass is half empty.”
      And, other people say, “Hey, I have a glass!”

  6. Love this line:
    Don’t miss the chance to dance with them while you can.
    It’s just so beautiful, not that I can dance, but it holds all the joy and beauty. Thank you!

      • Lila, thank you for the sweet encouragement. I really appreciate that. Why I love the line so much is that I can’t dance to save my life – at least 2 left feet. Lol. Sometimes feels like 6 of them all tangled up! And I can’t sing – can hear that it’s not right, but can’t seem to get the voice to come out the way my mind wants it to, so end up hopelessly out of tune. I so look forward to dancing and singing in heaven where it either will not matter in the least or somehow I will be able to do both well. Hahaha! But until then I shall rejoice in others dancing and singing. Lol.

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  8. Interesting…I wrote an article about “when I die” but haven’t posted it yet. I hope you and I aren’t having premonitions about anything soon! If so, I’ll see you in Glory! Until then -Keep Smiling! Wow, this was a weird comment if I say so myself…but it’s what came out.

  9. what took you so long whatit seems like I’ve been waiting7 00 backward yearsto be compensated for all the pain and anguish I’ve been through

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  11. My path to peace since my husband died almost two years ago is this motto: Don’t cry because I’m gone……Smile because I was here!
    This just makes sense to me. Each day when I recall a special memory of my late husband, I smile!

  12. Wonderful blog. Just a little side note that you are probably already aware of. Your very first sentence of this post has some turned around words, you had written “on the die I day a lot of things will happen”. Not a criticism, just an observation, thanks. Guess I am so used to my husband asking me to proof read his writings, for 53 years, that I am more aware of these things than ever. Happy to have found your blog and will continue to follow it. The closer we draw to the promise of Heaven, the more aware become of our lives and how we have lived then, as well as how we will live them from each day forward. Blessings, because of Jesus’ love, Lynne

  13. Very beautifully said…I was widowed five years ago at the age of 44…your writing brought me to tears…
    So very true on both sides…grateful for the Grace of God through it all…thank you

  14. My best friend passed away TODAY and I have been awake all night and couldn’t sleep. Seen this post and it brought me relief. Thanks!

  15. I have had MS for almost 30 yrs. I am crippled up like a prezetel. I pray that God will come for me I am in horrible pain daily it never stops. There is nothing left for Dr’s to do. I just want to die but don’t believe in suicide. I ask if u believe in prayer u pray for me & ask God to come. I am ready.

  16. I want to die because I suffer so bad each day. I am on the highest pain medication out there. MS has crippled me up I can’t do anything. I have to be fed, cleaned up….etc. I dont believe in suicide. I just want help & there isn’t anything.

    • Your two posts really moved me Jamie. I would like to pray for you . I hope you are OK with that.
      Dearest Father in Heaven, You know this precious child of yours, Jamie. Please Lord
      help Jamie be able to handle her/his life with such pain. Father we know this is not from You. This hurt is from the evil one. Please God I stand in the gap for Jamie and ask for a creative miracle…I ask for You to take away all pain and completely heal Jamie, in the precious name of Jesus Christ, who died on the cross for us. Jamie
      holds life in high esteem and does not believe in taking life as a human so God I ask You to honour Jamie for that and take away all pain. Because I have accepted Jesus’ s death on the cross and have been given the Holy Spirit to do this miracle of healing I boldly pray this prayer for your very loved child, Jamie . Amen
      John 3:16-17, Matthew 19:26

    • Jamie, I have been bed ridden for 8 1/2 years now, I am daily racked with pain, I have several health issues… hereditary chronic migraines, fibromyalgia, scoliosis, osteoporosis, as well as 10 surgeries including four discs replaced in my neck. (I have survived the two rarest female cancers known, while pregnant, then a radical hysterectomy, followed by no hormones for the last 15 yrs because of the cancer risk) so full menopause at 33 right after delivery.😭 AND NOW …two days ago we found out I have spots on my brain and my brain stem shows that I either have Lyme’s that has attacked my brain (stage 3) (I have lived in Alaska for 32 years and was last out 12 yrs ago!)
      Or I have MS. So now I have to fly to Anchorage and have a spinal fluid test for both and see which one.

  17. I MISS YOU
    I know you wouldn’t want it but I shed a tear for you today
    Not to defy your wishes,
    It’s because I miss you in every way
    The tears that I shed have oh so many different feelings
    From another moment of our storied past
    That is ever so revealing
    My emotions have no on and off switch
    They react from deep within
    Each one controlled by memories of you
    That are never wearing thin.
    So if you are up there watching
    And your wondering why I cry
    It’s because I Love you oh so much
    That’s why! Our memory’s never die
    Mark Wheeler February 24 2016

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  19. Love this…especially now. My partner of 20 years is in the end stages of COPD. I tend to be so focused on taking care of her and worried about having to go on without her that I forget to just enjoy the time we have left together! Hoping this helps me focus more on the here and now than worrying about what we should have done in the past or won’t have time/be able to do in the future!
    Thank you!

  20. How profound, we lost our son only 43 last May very suddenly from sepsis.
    I find great comfort and consolation in the fact that only days before he was taken ill I hugged and kissed him and told him how loved he was, you do not expect to lose your children.
    So never miss the chance to tell your loved ones just how much you love them, it may be the last opportunity.

  21. I’ve wanted to respond to this piece but at the same time not. I didn’t want to sound self-righteous. But I’m going to give it a go. Forgive me if I offend.

    I know what it’s like to be so near, a breath from death. Before my heart attack I always wondered if death hurt. Who would I call out for. Who would be on my mind at that moment. I now know…

    All I thought of… The only name I called for was Jesus. And I knew He was with me. And, oddly, I had walked a very long, long spiritual wilderness up to that night, that hour, at 3 am on 8/31/12. Sadly, Jesus’ name wasn’t on my mind 3 hours earlier.

    I’ve since only kept a toe here on earth. I ask for more of the Spirit. I don’t fear death. I know beyond any doubt that I am ready. What I fear is not loving while I’m still here. Wasting an opportunity. And I couldn’t want to live more. I want every second to be filled with love. I blow out my electronics texting love notes to people. I tell people at random that I love them. And I show them. Because that’s what He saved my heart to do.

    I don’t know that I’ll be remembered but I want US to have moments in love; in the here and now.

    • Why haven’t I read this before? this is beautiful, your are a blessing, thank you for spreading love, I will never forget you, you are pretty amazing ♡

      • Since this is so far back in the posts, I’m going to take a risk and reply directly and plainly. Because I do love you. I’m afraid you’ve misconstrued me. My love doesn’t involve a U-Haul, cohabitation, joint checking, or even physical intimacy. I wanted to share thoughts and words about Christ and his love… something eternal… one on one and not with an audience. You see that is what attracted me to you… your spirit. But I see that isn’t possible. You don’t trust me. That is likely bc of two people we both know. I did make a mistake. I made a comment I shouldn’t have. I trusted sm1 I shouldn’t have. And it created a problem for you. That’s the best I can figure. I am so sorry. It took me a while to understand you have personal challenges also and I pray for Perfect peace for you in that regard. Kathy, you will always be in my heart. I do love you very much, even if you don’t trust that. I’m always here for you, no matter where I am. You reach out and I will be there. Even if you don’t believe it. And I hope this doesn’t sound trite but Jesus does love you…. his Spirit has told me so.

        • I don’t think I have misunderstood you at all. We are all learning to love, and part of that is learning each others boundaries and what the nature of our relationships are. So just because I want to have dinner with you doesn’t mean I am asking you out on a date or the U-Haul thing. But I think we have had a special journey and it would be awesome to talk about it sometime in person rather than all this avoidance. It doesn’t mean it has to be anytime soon. But I do trust you and despite my burdens in life I am just a normal person wanting what everyone else wants from life, don’t worry so much about it. I appreciate you being conscientious. Hugs and much love from me. It’s all good trust me.

        • Hey you, I was pretty quick with my reply. I know you have a need to go over this possibly because you are going over things. There are some things I would rather say in person but thank you for explaining. I tend to keep moving forward in a determined manner. Occasionally I get distracted but I’ve learned so much about life and love in the last three and a half years of my life to fill me to bursting and I don’t regret any of it; even the stupid or desperate or foolish things I have said, along with the good. I have come to understand that grace allows us to be ourselves but also compels us to learn, to grow and to choose differently than we have before; yet not before we sometimes make the same mistake again. I accept your apology but you should know your comment was forgiven seconds later. If I might explain myself, my biggest concern has always been not wanting to be a bad influence on others because my thoughts and ideas were constantly in motion and I can’t keep my mouth shut. I didn’t know where I was heading and certainly didn’t want to take anyone with me until I investigated to see that it was a good path. So I was surprised to see so many others arrive at the same place as me on or around the same time. How does that happen? Makes me thankful.

          • Kathy, you’re so far ahead of the pack spiritually and intellectually that’s it’s mind-blowing. I’m just a passionate but broken artist, poet, hugger, and activist/advocate. I leap before I look, speak before I think. I have a temper that won’t quit. And I wear my heart on my sleeve. You and I couldn’t be any further apart on a continuum. You kick my ass and make me laugh at the same time. You are 100 percent correct, I am a fool. 🙂
            So, here’s to you! I did not ask for this but dang… you’ve been worth the pain. You rock! I’ll be waiting to feed you that
            cake! With all my heart ♡

            • When I was a girl my brother begged me to play chess with him all the time. I hated chess I preferred playing checkers, And, on top of that I would rather be outside climbing trees or building a snow fort. But he wanted someone to play with because he has a brilliant intellect and no one was interested in chess at age twelve. So I would bargain with him and say if I agreed to play chess with him he would have to play checkers with me. So this is how it would go. Then one day while I was reading a comic book an idea occurred to me. Why not combine the two games? So I created a game called checker-chess. It had, what I thought was a great principle: we would use the chess pieces on a checker board. The pieces were equal; they did not have special ways to move around the board. It was a level playing field. Of course my brother thought it was garbage. Where are the rules? What is the point? All I could say was, ” it’s fun and isn’t it a great idea?” Then he said, “All you are doing is replacing the checker pieces with chess pieces. You are trying to get me to play the game your way by using the chess piece on a checker board!” That hurt my feelings because I had not realized that at all. It hurt because he thought I was trying to trick him. Instead I thought I had come up with a game plan that would work for both of us.

              Struggling with my perfect straight A’s brother shaped me and is a big part of who I am today. This is life, isn’t it? …how we are shaped by each other? and how we respond to it. I am still trying to figure all of this out… how complex our interactions are and how we respond to circumstances and people while trying to live a life that does no harm to others and asking God for courage and strength. I don’t view myself quite the way you view me. I think I have a long way to go and you are much better at loving than I am. You make me want to try and do better with the time I have left. And I appreciate it all. And yes I am looking forward to that cake… after we have dinner of course, just kidding 😛 ♡

              • I love you.
                And you are everything I believe you to be.
                And more… so much more.
                He created you.
                By living you may have altered His design a bit, colored outside the lines at times… but He knew you would.
                And He says Ha! Well done daughter!
                You just don’t know what a masterpiece you are.

              • It’s going to be okay. In my heart I know that; all things do and will come into Him. I was considering an art project. Something I’ve been compelled to do. I haven’t had much time lately, been a while since I’ve picked up pen or pastel or brush. I started to make the first stroke and froze. This is important to me. I want it to be just so. And then it occurred to me the glory to Him wasn’t in the perfection of the end so much but in the
                praise of doing. The act of creating. I know you Kathy; you’re in the act of creating. You compel others to think differently, in Kingdom likeness. You keep creating to His glory, without comparisons. I’ll say it again, well doing.

                And by the way, you need a new car. If I remember correctly that raggedy Impala of yours is somewhere between classic and deceased. What’s up with that? Shoot it already.

                  • At where because I’m confused. Didn’t know Chinese Checkers was so popular. Getting more crowded by the letter and I’ve got issues as it is. Matter of fact, I’ve had a long day so I’m wishing you well. You folks in Canada keep late hours. Peace to you. Sure is hard saying goodbye to you… I’m not very successful at it. Hmm. 😉

                  • I cannot do it. I cannot say it. I cannot mean it.

                    And pls tell me that email address is really you. Bc the Kathy I believe I know would not invite such a thing.

                    • I guess it upset me when you said, ” Sure is hard saying goodbye to you… I’m not very successful at it” , so I wanted to make it easy for you, to let go; but on the other hand you have said you are there for me and all you intended was to speak about spiritual things and Christ, one on one. I am open to continuing that. This is my email kathyoflondon@gmail.com which I use for blogging. I don’t live in London now but I have lived there in the past. I posted it here just in case you lose it in the future. So let’s move the conversation about us off the blog. That’s my invitation otherwise we need to let go until such a time our paths meet again… which could be in a future comment on this blog, about a post but not about us any more, is that fair? I care about you and love you but let’s try to move forward. ♡

  22. Great essay. But, um, it starts with “On the die I day”?!?! Guess that won’t matter on the day he dies. 🙂

  23. Pingback: On the Day I Die | Good Morning Gratitude

  24. Dance while you can, while your body allows. There may be many years in-between you being able to dance and leaving this plain… So dance while you can, make a fool of yourself, act like a prat and give those who love you stories to tell when you’re no longer here to tell them yourself.

  25. I have had many of these feeling ,being the only girl out of 8 ,and have lived to see all of them die guess
    god has a lot or had a lot for me to do …..There is not any feeling I have not had , just wish I had my Mother my best friend to have been with me during all these times , but I know she was , I could feel her
    funny how that happens,LOVE NEVER DIES !!!!

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  27. A very good post!! I copied it share specifically with few of my peers who are actually giving all their precious time to the regretful thoughts of their past and worries of their future..
    It;s absolutely true that We realize the value of time when it’s gone… So Better to Live at the Fullest Before We Die!!

    • It’s wonderful!if death would have not been there,there was no meaning to life!Life is a seed which flourishes on the tought that it will finish one day.All human affection
      Revolve round our being temporary?

      • It’s wonderful!if death would have not been there,there was no meaning to life!Life is a seed which flourishes on the tought that it will finish one day.All human affection
        Revolve round our being temporary? If we look back on human history all great people we can call personalities we achieved pinnacle of their services may be messengers,scientist humanist etc whose names are engraved in human history were firm believer that life can end any time?

      • That’s True but We should enjoy this journey barring the fear of death.. Because Death is again a part of the journey of life.. Every thing has to come to an end so life.

  28. this is a very very good post. i will copy and save this post. I just don’t know why my eyes are so quick in noticing the typo error. first line…on the die I day a lot will happen, shouldn’t it be…on the day I die a lot will happen? I know I should not worry about that, it’s just me, I’m sorry.

      • I agree, and I believe it’s a statement not a question….
        See, it’s these kind of things that don’t matter after your gone….stop it ! Please !

    • Give it a rest. I think most of us read it as it was intended to be, “On the day I die . . . “. After all it is not a letter to stock holders, to potential investors in an invention, or a dissertation to a professor.

    • Criticizing must be your super fall in life. Everyone is Human (except the typewriter) We type fast, we think fast, we read fast, some Judge too Fast. Now slow down & slow to judge.

      • i couldn’t help but notice that you didn’t put a period after “typewriter)”. Then, in the next sentence, you capitalized the word “fast”. Perhaps your last sentence should have been, “Now, slow down, and be slow to judge.” (You missed comma’s and used a capital letter where it should have been a lower case letter. (i.e., “Fast” vs “fast”). Same error with the word “Judge” vs “judge”. . In addition, it would have been more understandable for your readers, if you more clearly defined “fast”. Did you mean refrain from eating, or did you mean that, “I done made bunches of mesteaks, eider cause I were in a hurry, or “Spell Check” hates me”.
        btw, I recently judged myself,(even know the cliche is, “Judge not, that ye may not be smudged!”), and found that I was somewhat overweight, thus I am fasting whenever I can. In a fast way, ifn I can. (Although I’m kinda old, and kinda slow, too). It’s kinda tough to do, but, as many have stated in the past, it is definitely something “important”. [lol ! ]

    • Why the question mark? I don’t see that first line you mention as a question. “On the day I die a lot will happen” is a statement, pure and simple.

  29. Beautiful post.

    Typo in the first line – you swapped die and day. I point this out because I know this post will be shared and should be shared and should be internalized as it was meant.

  30. WOW That was Beautiful and I believe every word. To live each day , each moment because you never can get it back. Some people worry too much about the little things. Live every day as if it were your last because you never know it could be. If you LOVE someone tell them every chance you get. YOU may never get a second chance. It is a Choice and that’s the best thing that God gave us. Was CHOICES !!! AMEN TO That and live life to the fullest 1 at a time !!!***DANCE LIKE NOBODY IS WATCHING! SING AS IF NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU. LOVE AS IF THERE IS NO TOMORROW !!

  31. John Pavlovitz, every year on April 18th I post a photo and verse in our local newspaper in memory of my son who passed 6 years ago. Might I have your permission to use this in his honor this year?? thank you so much for your beautiful thoughts.

  32. Pues es una refecion hermosa ypara vivir asi como se nos invita no complicarnos el existir poner todo en las manos de Dios

  33. Pingback: On the Day I Die | john pavlovitz | THE SILVER BIRD 3

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  35. Rather than pick apart the way it’s written or any mistakes, take the wonderful message. I just buried my 86 year old mother March 3rd and I can tell you she didn’t have the worries mentioned, but she will be missed by my brothers, sister and I along with many others.

  36. Thank you. Important words for me, I just lost my 92-year old grandmother March 2nd. It’s about people…life is about people not things. If my grandmother were still here to read this she would have agreed with you, she was a wise woman.

  37. Good reading …. yes so true … Unfortunately we all get so sucked up in the “importance of making a living” that we do put the real important things in life way back in the line ….. only since my dad passed on 15 years ago and my mom nearing now 80 years old do I realise how truly important it is to spend more quality time with her. …….

  38. Death is a important subject but unfortunately we do not talk about it. Here is a piece of “Truth” that has been written that expresses out thoughts.
    Lord Buddha said that life is suffering and nothing is constant. When we read something like this and talk about it our disappointments and failures are not very painful.

    • I love this post, it speaks to me so much as I lost both my parents tragically. I think the first line was typo ed on purpose just for us to check our selves and see what is the most important part, the correctness or the message.

  39. Just so absolutely pathetic that some can read this and instead of being moved by it they critique as if it was being graded. Hey people who did this, read it again! You might be the very ones who need the real true meaning and blessing from it. You are really sad to me—and sickening! Now critique that, and then go seek help for OCD!

  40. Thanks for this thought-provoking post. It contains many words of wisdom.

    Since I (or any of us) may die at any time, I hope to seek to enjoy the life I have, seek to “be good and do good” as English translations of words credited to Buddha put it, and seek to love even my enemies if I have any (I hope I have none), as Jesus and the Apostle Paul instructed.

    Enjoy God’s blessings!

  41. This is lovely and I am sure that for most people, quite true. Unfortunately I do think that for some people, our deaths will be largely a relief, that we are not really loved, that we are a burden and that the void we leave will be easily filled by people far better and more loveable. So it made me feel kind of sad, to know that I am such an outlier. But for normal people – yes. Enjoy your life here with your loved ones and feel secure in that love.

    • I hope you personally do not feel this way .we must look at our whole life …its ok …if people help you now .I am sure you were there for others helping and giving and loving ..another time ..another …..possibly a run on sentence .

    • I don’t know you or why you think the way you do… but I know that I once felt the same way… please find help… CBT did it for me… it wasn’t easy or quick and I spent years in the wilderness of depression… I made several suicide attempts… I’m now 41 and have a great partner, business and life… I still have a dark side… but overall I’m happy and believe that I will be missed if I were to die… and I’m sure the same is true for you… why don’t you think you are lovable ? I didn’t think so either, but with counselling I learned it was because my mother had (undiagnosed) post natal depression and hated me… I still struggle with it… for example, if my partner is in a bad mood I immediately think it’s something I’ve done and he hates me… he doesn’t though… he loves me, my friends love me, my family love me… I’ll never know if if my mum did because she died when I was 18… please don’t feel like an outlier… unless you’re a terrible murderer or something I can’t see why you would be a burden…. I hope you will go to the doctor and seek help… you can have a happy life and since you might only have one shot at it then it’s best to make sure it happens…. just stick two fingers up at misery and tell it ‘NO’… There’s a lot of crap out there but there’s also so much beauty and fun… turn sadness on its head, stuff its head in a hole and dance on its grave… please, please, please !! I know there’s so much more to say/discuss but i hope I’ve helped in some small way xxx

  42. Every day that goes by brings us that much closer to ……. Smell the coffee, folks. Live every day to the fullest. Don’t sweat the small stuff as our Rabbi once said. Dance, sing, love, and laugh. Love and take care of your spouses, parents and children now before it’s too late. I’ve said what I had to. The rest is up to you!

  43. So much truth here, my brother! This is profound, inspiring and an oh so timely reminder to cherish our loved ones and LIVE our lives to the fullest. Brilliantly written! Thank you. And here’s wishing you much love, happiness, peace and God’s blessings.????????????

  44. Pingback: On the Day I Die – WysJoyFul Company

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  46. Such meaningful words for me. I have just lost my best friend , my Mum.
    This speaks volumes & I feel like my Mum is speaking to me through this.
    Thank you.

  47. You’re given one really important job to do in life. Put your children first. It doesn’t matter if you put the ‘die’ before the ‘day’. It does matter if you put the ‘you’ before the ‘they’.

  48. Reblogged this on Memories and Treasures and commented:
    This is too well written not to share. We hear all the time about living each day as if it’s our last. This reminds us once again to do just that. How would you be remembered if this were your last day?

  49. Recently, due to a minor virus, I almost died. I was taken to a hospice facility and my family was told to prepare for my funeral. The virus, although minor, complicated my pulmonary issues, and, in the process, I had a heart attack. I have survived. How is a question we are left unanswered, but I intend on living even yet.
    I had this opinion all my life. Live for today, yet plan for tomorrow. I have tried to show my friends and loved ones just how much they mean to me as often as I can. Yes, I still am caught up in the minutiae of this life, but, after losing a week instead of forever, I can see more clearly.
    Thank you for putting into words what I could only feel.

  50. EVERYTHING said was all sooooo true.The only thing left out is the fact that one day this will result
    In this very thing for us “ALL”. OH HASTEN THE DAY LORD JESUS…;..,Facing the way things are
    Going in the world, His return is eminent……..Just. BE READY

  51. Hello,

    I don’t meant to be offensive or rude, just penning my two cents.

    I find it hard to really live life for only those things that matter. I’m a 30 year old, but I have been thinking about my death for a while now. But while I’m alive, it’s hard to spend that extra two hours at home rather than at work – still need to climb that corporate ladder, heck my family may even prefer I work harder than stay home more; focusing on my loved ones instead of socializing with a wider circle of people; to break free of social conventions and truly live a lifestyle I want. Living life each day as if it’s your last is a sound concept, but I find it hard to implement in reality. The choices i will make if i have 50 years of life ahead is very different if suddenly I know I only have 2 weeks left.

    perhaps I can only treasure the last days of my life and I cannot live that way for the next 50 years, but then again, who is to say I won’t be gone tomorrow.

  52. A great read….
    The older one gets, you realise how true, these words are.
    Many of my friends and close family have taken this final journey.
    Recently my sister went with the angels. I wrote a song for her. using these final words she said … For- get- me- not..My life was a Beautiful Day…..
    Which I reckon about puts it into perspective…for all of us

  53. Pingback: What Will Happen on the Day I Die | Slantpoint Democrat

  54. THIS IS SO TRUE! A friend and I were just discussing this very topic. When loved ones pass away, all of their plans, busy schedules, worries, and commitments don’t matter any more. All of the “stuff” we stress out about is not really that important after all. Thanks for writing this!

  55. Pingback: On the Day I Die | Simply Etta D.

  56. Today, while I was at work, my cousin stole my iPad and
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    I know this is entirely off topic but I had to share it with someone!

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  60. I do love all your comments about living for today, forgiveness, telling people in your life how much you love them etc….My problem is, I lost my Mom which was also my best friend on 12/12/12 from terminal brain cancer. I can’t even write or talk about it without crying! We found out in October of 2012 and I live over 200 miles away, I took off from work immediately to go home and be with her. Hospice had set up a bed for her in her front room and I slept on the couch right next to her. My Mom also had other health issues and needed a walker to get around. Death of my parents was always one thing I always obsessed about since I was young, I was so scared about losing them that it was always on my mind. They gave her 3 months to live, and she would ask me how much time she had left and I would tell her I didn’t know! We had long talks and she would tell me she didn’t want to die because she still had a lot to do. She still had to spend more time with the great-grandchildren which came from my kids and of course all the grandchildren and us. I would reply that I didn’t want her to go either and I love her with all my HEART! We had some people from the Church come and give her a blessing ( with her consent ) we all felt Gods touch and so did my Mom. After that blessing, my Mom looked peaceful and so illuminating and just more beautiful than ever! When we were sleeping, she would wake up around 2am and ask me if I was awake and I wasn’t, but I would say “Yes, what’s up Mom )? She would say ” I’m hungry “. So I would go upstairs and get her whatever she wanted and then she wanted to watch TV for awhile, so I would stay up with her and then we would talk for awhile. Then it was back to sleeping! About a week before she died she had a stroke and from there she started going down hill. We all talked to her separately and told her that we loved her and that it was okay to let go and go see her family in Heaven! Watching my Dad was the worst! For 3 days she couldn’t talk or open her eyes and we kept her medicated for pain and she never complained during the whole time she was sick, except for having headaches, but besides that she was and always has been the strongest woman I have ever known! On the 12th at 2:20 am, all 3 of us girls were sleeping in the living room with her when all of a sudden I heard my name, I woke up and went to my Mom and her eyes were open and she took the most peaceful long breath and I knew, so I woke up my 2 sisters and she took 2 more and then she was gone! She was only 77 yrs old! Yes, she died very peacefully, but I need her and I miss her every day and think about her all the time! I can honestly say she was the BEST MOM EVER! She was and still is my HERO! GOD BLESS you all! Sorry this was so long. Sending love to each and every one of you!

  61. Sorry, but I have an issue about forgiveness. This is about my daughter! I have always been there my kids no matter what and have always picked my kids over anyone . When I met my current husband my son was 15 and my daughter was 10. Of course at those ages they are set in their ways and in my rules and the way we do things. I told my husband that I had things under control and if I needed him than I would ask! Probably not the right thing to do, but my kids came before any man and always had and always would! My daughter at the age of around 14 started causing a lot of fights between my husband and I, of which I didn’t notice or want to believe it was her until she got older and now I see the truth! She got pregnant when she was 17 by this guy I absolutely couldn’t stand, and I found out by him not her! Which of course made me angry as hell! She never had a connection with the baby, wasn’t excited when he would move around or kick….. nothing at all! She was not with the baby’s dad, which should tell you something right there!!!!! When he was born at 2 month early he weighed 5lbs 13oz, but was fine except for jaundice ( which is quite common ). I was there for her through everything and they lived with me! She still didn’t have any bonding with him. She started lying about everything and I would catch her and then I told her one day that she is still living in my house and there are still rules and if she didn’t like it then maybe she could find somewhere else to live! So she took my grandson and left going to my Mom’s house and telling her I kick her out! Another lie!!!! She wouldn’t let me see my grandson for a few weeks, then she came back! Then I find out she is addicted to pills, explaining why my daughter-in-law and I were always watching my grandson! I’m kinda skipping through years and moments! Then she got an apartment close to my son’s house and she was supposed to come over, well 3 hrs went by and I went over and my son came also. My grandson was with my daughter in law. We knocked, rang the doorbell, called her phone which i could hear ringing inside her house….no response. At this time I knew she was doing heroin also. I called 911 and they had to break the back door window and got in and she came in the kitchen and just woke up and said she was just sleeping the cops knew by looking at her that she was on something. They couldn’t do anything cause it was a 911 call. I finally had enough and asked her if she wanted her son or not? I told her that she should get herself together and let the dad have him temporary until she’s well again, she agreed! I called the dad and told him that he needed to come get his son and told him why and it took him over a week to get him. In the mean time I took my daughter and we tried to find some state assistance for rehab! Got her in for a 3 month program for pills and heroin. I got left with cleaning her whole apartment and her dad came and got her stuff! I would go see her every week, for 3 months. She got out and looked good, off of heroin and the pills. As time went by she would meet these losers and got back on the pills, but not heroin. Meantime dad had her son and she wouldn’t go see him! He would let me every 3rd weekend of the month! He was almost 3 when the dad got him! We moved 3 1/2 hours away from our town and we get a call from her saying that her boyfriend beat her up and left her stranded, so we went and picked her up and she came and lived with us! She was stealing my pills of which I only take when I absolutely need them. My pills last me for months on end until she was there, and then she broke into our safe. So we called the cops and they put her in jail, she was there for 40 days and we found a non denominational Christian place in Montana and she was there for a year! During that time I found out my grandson was being physically abused by his dad so I called and let her know! When her year was up we let her live with us rent free and she wanted to get her son back. He was 6 yrs old then. My dad paid for an attorney and I went with her once a week for court driving 4 hours. We got my grandson right away on temporary custody! I took care of him, took him to counseling, rearranged my schedule at work so I could take him to daycare and they would take him to school and I would pick him up. The days we had court, my friend would watch him. Him and i have always been very close, he’s my heart! Then she meets this guy and everything changed. She became very disrespectful, rude, mean, didn’t care about her son or anybody but him. He was also disrespectful and rude especially to my grandson so I told her he wasn’t allowed here, plus my grandson did not like him at all. They got engaged and I told her congrats and nice ring! Then they picked a date to get married and I found out by my daughter in-law so I asked her why she didn’t tell me and why I was the last one to know. She said I didn’t think you’d care! I told her that I was excited about the ring, why would I not care about the wedding, she’s my only daughter of course I care! Then she tells me she doesn’t want my husband robe involved. Now mind you….. she’s been calling him Daddy for 16 yrs on her own doing. Now he’s not allowed after all he’s done for her!? Then a couple weeks goby and she asks me to help with the wedding dress and I told her that my husband makes most of the money and I said No, not only No but F No! She was going to leave my grandson with me while she moved an hour and a half away with her fiancé for her work and I said Yes for sure. They went to her dad that Friday and on their way back Sunday I get a text from her and she said she changed her mind and he was going with them, I asked her why and she said cause I’m the mom and I said so! She ripped him away from me, his school, his friends and he never got to say bye or see anyone again! It’s been 10 months and she will not talk to me and she gave her son back to the dad that was abusing him and moved out of state and now the dad won’t let me talk to him either! I love my grandson and I miss him so much and I can’t believe she picked a guy over her own son! She’s getting married in September and she still hasn’t and won’t talk to me! Her dad and stepmom are doing everything for the wedding! I’m so heart broken and I will never forgive her for giving her son up again and for treating me like this when I have done everything for her! How do you forgive someone like that? This has been going on since she was 17 yrs old! My grandson has been through hell and it breaks my heart! I’ve had a nervous breakdown and ended up in a psych ward, have major depression disorder, anxiety and panic disorder. I am so messed up because of all of this. The closer it gets to her getting married, it breaks my heart even more!

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  63. My fear is that they won’t…. No one will care, few will be saddened, the minority will grieve. The day I die will just be another day to those I’d miss and do anything for… ????

  64. There is nothing wrong with being dead. As long as the journey to that point is quick and painless, i have no problem with being dead. We are all an unlikely collection of atoms that were created in stars sometime over the last 14 billion years…. life is a cool ride, time to move on.

  65. I Lost My Grandson and seem to me Child on July 6th 2016 .A Day that a Piece of My Heart was forever Taken .Until we meet again, I Love you more than Life itself! Nana

  66. Love this.. thanks to a friend that shard this! Just a fyi.. the first line is in error.. “… die I day..” if no one has mentioned it.

  67. I have read all of the above comments and I, too, can feel all of the feelings of love, loss, grief, betrayal, guilt. I cared for my dying Grandmother in 1992 with the help of home Hospice. I watched as she took her last dying breath; after telling her that we all loved her very much, but that we would be okay and when she was ready to go be with God, that we would all be okay and take care of each other. That was 24 years ago and not one day goes by with me thinking of her. Seven years ago, I lost my husband, Steve, to complications of diabetes, heart and kidney problems. Having to sign his D.N.R. at the hospital, was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life. I also was with him when he took his last breath while being cared for at a local Hospice House. I miss him everyday also. Two and a half years ago, I met an old neighborhood boy, school friend and we eventually fell in love. John had some medical problems, which we were hoping would get better. We became engaged and planned to be married in July, but John died suddenly during the night; four months before our wedding plans. By my not having the opportunity to be with him and not being able to tell him that I loved him ,(in his last moments of life), I struggle every day with feelings of such loss and grief and being over- whelmed. I questioned my Faith in God; and still do, to a certain extent. In early 2016, my Mothers cancer returned. Before we could get all of her doctor appointments, examinations, tests etc. scheduled, Mom became ill; went into the hospital and finally was taken to Hospice for her final care. My sisters and brother all rallied by her bedside, telling her stories of our lives as we were growing up, going out into the world, making our own lives and how much we all loved and were going to miss her. On the early afternoon of her death, I looked out of her bedroom window and saw the biggest, bright red Cardinal sitting in a tree. He stayed there for what seemed like forever. I turned to tell my sisters and brother and when I turned back, he as still there. I said that I had read that whenever you see a Cardinal, that someone in Heaven was visiting you. A few minutes later, my Mother died and went to be with God.
    I looked at her face and she looked so peaceful. Her skin was fair and soft, not one wrinkle could I see, Yes, Mom had lost weight from not eating or drinking, but she looked so peaceful. I was sad to have lost my Mom but was glad to have been able to be with her at the end of her life. And very thankful to have my sisters and brother with me; all together. I still have a lot of stressful times trying to deal with the finality of death, whether it be my Grandmother, my Husband, my new Fiance or my Mother. Those terrible feelings of loss, grief and being over-whelmed are still haunting me. I take one hour, and one day at a time. some are better than others. Thank you for allowing me to vent my feelings and telling my stories.

  68. I have thought a lot about this through my life and, as a pastor as well as a person, I remember that the heart of Jesus’ message was “the coming kingdom of God,” and it’s nature as being something both coming and present now. It is where I learned to address this question for my own life. To live my future life in God into the present moment is to say, with Paul, “I am dead … And alive in Christ.” As people who have drowned in the waters of baptism and risen to the new life in Christ, we need to see our life in a new perspective. Like you, John, I’ve had some problems at points in my ministry with unwarranted attacks (in one church I received daily e-mails that were hate letters, usually beginning about three in the afternoon, when the VP of the congregation had sufficiently tied one on, which lasted for a year-and-a-half, until the congregation finally got fed up with it and ousted him). In all my churches, I also had many who loved me, who were wonderful gifts to me, and a “foretaste of the feast to come.” In the end, though, little of that will matter, of course – although, as Paul says, “”love never ends.” It is that baptism, that river, that sustains us in this life – the knowledge that the “river of life”” of Revelation is a river of his love that reaches us, even here in the present, sustains and encourages us, so that the arrows meant to harm us slide easily off our backs. This is what enables us to remain faithful in our calling, faithful to our people, and faithful to ourselves as well as to our Lord. I pray for you daily, and for all pastors, especially, whose job is a difficult one, but also one filled with love and hope. I pray that they not feel that they have to die before they can find rest and repreive, but can live their days in hopeful anticipation of that which is to come, which also gives joy to every present moment.

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  74. I have lost many people very close to me, including a son. Life is short…too short! Appreciate every moment!

    PS…(first sentence typo, “The die I day…”

  75. I’m not trying to be Debbie Downer, but unless we know Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior and accept his give of salvation from the cross, we will not see these people in Heaven. THIS is the thing we need to think about before “that time” comes. We can determine – through Him – where we will be in the afterlife. I know both my parents are in Heaven and are with me everyday. I will be there with them when the time comes. God bless all, and I hope you think about this. If you don’t know how to accept Him, ask someone who knows. It’s simple. He loves you already and wants you to come to Him. All of us.

    • Carol,
      If you seem to genuinely want to know the truth.

      What you belive is almost universally believed by Christians, Jews, Muslims, and many more religions, but the idea that people have immortal souls which never die does not come from the Bible. The doctrine of the Immortal Soul came primarily from pagan Greek philosophy:

      The New Encyclopædia Britannica (1988), Vol.11, pg. 25;
      “The early Christian philosophers adopted the “Greek concept”
      of the soul’s immortality …

      The New Catholic Encyclopedia states;
      “The notion of the soul surviving after death is not
      readily discernible in the Bible.”

      The scriptures repeatedly speak of souls who can die, who have died, and who will die. (Ezekiel 18:5) The Bible’s hope for life after death “is”, and always has been, God’s promise of a future “resurrection”. There would be no need for a resurrection if people had souls which never die. (John 5:28,29)

  76. Here is what the Bible says about the day we die;

    Ecclesiastes 9: 5 – For the living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing at all, nor do they have any more reward, because all memory of them is forgotten. 6 Also, their love and their hate and their jealousy have already perished, and they no longer have any share in what is done under the sun.

    Ecclesiastes 9:10  – Whatever your hand finds to do, do with all your might, for there is no work nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom in the Grave, where you are going.

    Psalms146:4 – His spirit goes out, he returns to the ground; On that very day his thoughts perish.

  77. I’ve recently been diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon Cancer after living a life of not smoking, not drinking, watching what I eat, being healthy. Life is funny, death is funny. We think we have control over things that we really don’t. Thank you for so eloquently sharing your reflections on life and death. I will make the most with the people I love over the time I have left and not look back with regrets or anger.

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  79. People need to realize that death is not the greatest loss in life… the loss is when life dies inside of u while u are still living….Enjoy life now!

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  81. I am only 34, but I still think of death. I find it so mystic, especially after I lost my mother recently. When it happened, I was far-far away from her. Just like the rest of the world busy in life, while she was struggling.
    After reading it, I get a feeling that Yes, it will happen to me too and the world will be busy. All my work and appointments will be left pending forever. Many commitments will be left incomplete.

  82. My dear husband, my best friend , passed very recently. Thank you for this post. It rings so true and I shall endeavor to be mindful of it as I stumble thru horrible grief while trying to remember to live each day, for I don’t have that many left but still have others who love me. Thanks for reminding me that part of my task now is to make new memories, memories my beloved survivors may cling to when I join my sweet husband in whatever adventures are ahead for our souls.

  83. I see you’ve been notified or the switch in the first line…no worries, it’s hard to edit your own work!

    I love this and have saved it to read at my mother’s memorial service. She’s not passed yet, but I am preparing as she is going on 91 and living at home under hospice care.

  84. Love this post John. Many years ago (about 1984) I was at a Blue Grass Festival and heard the song “A Hundred Years From Now”. I came away from the festival determined that anything that wouldn’t matter in a hundred years simply did not matter now. It has made life much easier! Thanks for this post

  85. This so reminds me of a day back in 1987 when my brother lay dying from AIDS in a hospital.I was on my way to see him and as I got closer,I could hear someone blasting the radio in there car. The Rolling Stones were blaring away… I thought to myself “How can anyone enjoy listening to the Stones,as my wonderful brother is dying?’ It was at that moment that I realized that people were going on with doing things that they normally do everyday. It was so hard to understand that as my world was falling apart,other people were enjoying them selves.Now I remember that everytime I see a funeral procession…now,I can feel a little tiny bit of their pain…..

  86. I saw this on Facebook 8/8/17, liked it, shared it. Now, at night I have time to read it better and the first line is “On the die I day!” Please fix that because the rest is beautiful. I sent it to my daughter as she’s making up my will and last testament!

  87. I posted this on the 1st anniversary of my dads passing :'(

    Today it will be one year that we lost our Dad. My daily cries, my why’s and what if’s have become a feeling of defeat/acceptance. At times I get some crazy flashback of a normal moment we shared and I’m back to square one. How I wish the story was different. What I would do to hear you call me “Mi Hijita” again; tell me a joke or some silly story. My heart will forever ache because you’re gone. How do you not see that your puzzle is missing one of the most important pieces? I am grateful for all the memories (so many memories). I am so thankful for all the pictures and videos. Please everyone take videos of your loved ones; of the daily things (silly things) that make you smile. Never loose a chance to spend time together but most of all don’t waste time on the unimportant stresses that stay behind anyway. Focus and remember why you love those you love and tell them why. Tell them what makes them special to you. Dad I pray every night that you have the honor of resting in the presence of the Lord and not the stresses of the world. To all of you that have allowed me to grieve on Facebook, please know you all helped me through this year and I’m very grateful for that. Thank you for sharing with me. If you know anyone that knew my Dad please add them to this page. It would mean alot to me. Gracias por escucharme y que Dios los bendiga (God Bless you all). In Loving Memory of Alex Gonzalez

  88. When I am leaving this earth I will regret that I wasn’t there for my three grown boys growing up ! That was a huge disappointment to me. Divorces can completely obstruct a family as mine surely did. I’m just happy that all three grew up to be fine men even if I wasn’t there for them growing up. I’ll always be thankful to the Lord for what I’ve had in my life. I plan on looking down thru the stars at my loved ones now and then at the good things they are doing.

  89. I loved the time I spent at the office.
    I loved the people I worked with.
    I loved the sense of accomplishment.
    I loved helping other succeed.
    I loved knowing I helped proved stable work and income for others.
    I loved creating new and better things, methods and ideas.
    I loved creating wealth for myself and family.
    I truly enjoy driving nice cars.
    I truly enjoyed wearing nice clothes.
    I like friends who have themselves accomplished meaningful goals.
    I truly like knowing I put aside immediate satisfaction in my younger years for a more comfortable future.
    I truly enjoy teaching younger people to create a better future for themselves.

    So no, I will never regret the time it took to accomplish something meaningful with the one life I have.

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  91. This piece assumes the person has anyone who loves them, or wants their company. If one has no one, or believes there is no one, then what’s there to live for outside of these “unimportant” things?

  92. I hope I am like my hero–a 94 year old man who is on a trip to New Zealand. He traveled there alone from the US but joined a tour when he arrived. He told me his daughter worried about something happening to him while there. His response was that he had lived a long life. He had his ups and downs, but he is happy now. He is living his life, so if something happens, so what? And he always, always has a smile on his face. What an inspiration!

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  104. Last night the medications overtook me as I read your clear descriptions and certainties about what will happen to you on the day you die. It is the same for all people so it will be the same for me, too.

    Me, too. Me, too! I’m waking up feeling included, I will die like you and everyone and their brother, too. Fraught with error and regret but maybe just a little less for having read your subtle reminders and kind admonitions.

    It must have occurred right before I awoke. I dreamed I could walk really well again. Quick and fast, my legs seemed deft and strong and I might have cut a little caper, not sure.

    Not sure.

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