Christians, We Need to Get Out of People’s Bathrooms (and Bedrooms)

Unisex restroom sign

Surveying my news feed lately, I can’t help but think that most people doing the same thing would be hard pressed not to come away with the conclusion that all Christians are preoccupied with plumbing—both personal and public.

God help us, we just cannot stay out of people’s bathrooms and bedrooms.

Whenever a pastor, church, denomination, or Christian politician makes headlines these days, invariably it’s to champion or defend some horrible piece of discriminatory, anti-LGBT “bathroom bill” legislation, or to block someone from ministry based on their gender identity/sexual orientation, or to once again boil down all the ills of our society to what gay people do with their naughty parts.

Seriously Church, we haven’t just the lost the plot—we’ve literally flushed it down the toilet.

And the worst part is that we’ve done it on purpose.

Somewhere along the way, white Evangelical Christianity began to fixate on sex for the same reason the porn industry does: it titillates people and generates lots of money.

As church attendance has continued to decline, nervous pastors, worried high-profile evangelists, and terrified politicians have realized that they need to continually manufacture urgency to stoke the ever-dwindling fires of the faithful. And they learned fairly quickly that nothing, but nothing stimulates their shrinking bases like talk of sodomy and fornication.

The topic of gender identity/sexual orientation is a cheap, effective aphrodisiac for bored, self-righteous people needing a reason to feel religious. It’s spiritual Viagra for people who can’t sustain passion naturally.

The blueprint for these shenanigans was sketched out over the last few decades by the Evangelical Right, and has since been hewn to perfection: violently rip a few Bible verses completely out of context, offer some homegrown supportive propaganda disguised as objective Science, create and promote the most horribly distorted caricature of the LGBTQ community, and voila: full-blown panic in the pews.

And into this sweaty orgy of church sanctioned paranoia and religiously fueled fear, Christian leaders jump gleefully in to save God’s people from the writhing monster of runaway libido that they themselves have created. Brilliant really—if not at all Biblical.

Thank God Jesus rose from the dead or he’d be rolling in his grave watching what these folks have done to the Gospel; how they’ve appropriated his name and likeness to give cachet to the kind of hateful, myopic endeavors that he’d never ever have been a part of while he walked the planet.

Read the Gospel stories of Jesus and hold those up against what organized Christianity is passing off as faithfulness these days and you’ll see it clearly—there’s virtually no shared resemblance.

Jesus never would have wasted time with denominational splits or withheld wedding cakes or policing bathrooms (at least not on the side many Christians suspect). He was about the far greater, far more pressing, far more costly work of love and justice.

What you see in the sum total of Christ’s’ life and ministry was the lowering of the powerful and a lifting of the marginalized. You see a leveling of humanity that called people to give to those with less, to care for those in need, to bless others as they were able, so that earth might resemble Heaven. You see a call to personal repentance, to counterintuitive compassion, to radical forgiveness, to the making of peace, to the giving of mercy.

The only time Jesus ever mentioned sex in any capacity was to personally challenge people’s hearts, not to sanction them to impose their own preferences upon anyone else. It’s as simple as that.

In the Gospel accounts of his three-year ministry Jesus never utters a single word regarding gender identity or sexual orientation. Not one. These kind of public crusades about people’s body parts or private sexual conduct that are now so commonplace in modern Evangelical Christianity would have been foreign to him. (In fact, the only such times Jesus singles out a group of people, it’s the hypocritical religious leaders for misusing their position and power.)

Professed Christians can continue to do what they’re doing to the LGBTQ community, but they can’t rightly pass the buck to Jesus.

That the Church is still preoccupied with waging war on these folks and claiming that Christ compels them to do so, is one of the greatest and most sustained sins in our history—and it needs to stop.

Real followers of Jesus don’t need to be aroused by manufactured culture battles and non-existent boogeymen in public toilets.

They don’t need to be frightened into phony holy wars with imagined gay agenda armies or to be threatened with doomsday scenarios about Transgender restroom misdeeds.

They don’t require a distraction to stimulate their spirituality.

Followers of Jesus simply live, and they do so passionately burdened by the things that burdened him: poverty, injustice, inequality, excess, greed, abused power, perverted religion. The world sees plenty of those things every single day—and they’re wondering why so few Christians seem to care about any of it.

And this is the heart of these matters.

The more Christians fixate on trivial crusades about sex and sexuality, the more we cheapen the Gospel, the more we distort the life-giving message of Christ, and the more we alienate the watching world who sees this all too clearly.

Just once they’d like to see us claim “religious liberty” compelling us to feed children or curb gun violence or combat Cancer—or anything remotely life affirming. Instead we use it to withhold wedding cakes and police public toilets.

When the Church has its eyes squarely on Jesus it will find itself seeking the hurting and the needy and the forgotten, and abandoning its lazy battles and desperate witch hunts.

When the Church has its eyes squarely on Jesus it will follow him straight out into the streets to bring the good news to the world—leaving bathrooms and bedrooms far behind.

May that day come soon.




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375 thoughts on “Christians, We Need to Get Out of People’s Bathrooms (and Bedrooms)

  1. Just because YOU say it is a choice does not make it so. The fact is, it is NOT a choice. People cannot choose their gender identity, nor can they choose to which sex they are attracted. To claim otherwise demonstrates a profound lack of understanding of both gender and sexual orientation.

  2. Note to “Christians”, especially republican “Christians”.

    WWJD does NOT stand for who would jesus destroy.

  3. No one chooses to be transgender, so get your head out of your a** (for once in your existence).

    What is or isn’t between my legs has NOTHING to do with my gender. There is a reason they don’t have anatomically correct representations of penises and vaginas on bathroom doors. Mommy, mommy, do I use the bathroom with the pouty slug or the one with the angry goat skull ?

    I want “Christians” to keep their nonsense out of my life, out of my government, and more importantly to themselves. QUIT FLAUNTING your heterosexual Christian lifestyle. Being a Christian is a choice. You made a choice to worship a mass murdering child killing genocidal sky daddy.

    Transgender is not a choice.
    so get a clue.
    as John Oliver so elegantly stated.

    • Yes, any of the LGBT behaviors is a choice. At some point in life, because of a lack of/indication from parents or guardians, the child made a decision that he/she would behave like the opposite sex. It’s a choice, God does not create sexual perversity, this is a choice birthed from human nature.

  4. If there’s a war on women there is most certainly a war on Transgender as well, what’s worse is the same disgusting tactics of “legislating for our safety” that was used against the African American community during the Civil Rights Movement, are being used again in the year 2016!

    When will hate, intolerance, and discrimination be unacceptable? How much further do we have to sink as a society before we say enough is enough, we are ALL American’s, we are ALL in this together, and we ALL have something to bring to this great nation? That is the reality that I fight for, and the one that many of us do as well. Let THAT be our rallying cry to unite our misguided countrymen.

    Together we can and we will make a difference without it being at the expense of others!

    • Bobbie, some things just HAVE TO BE discriminated. LGBT behaviors is one of them. The reason is because these behavior fall under the category of sexual deviance and perversion. You cannot expect normal people to adapt to these perversion. We haven’t, we won’t and never will.

  5. I came back to post what I should have posted earlier today. I have not read what has been posted in reply to my previous posts and will no nor will I respond to this or ever visit this site again. I let my flesh and pride take over and tried to win an argument without relying on God so here goes

    I am a Christian and I do not care what any of you think of me. I don’t care if you don’t understand me. I don’t care what you say about me or may call me. You may say that I am a kook, a fanatic, that I am out of date or old fashioned, behind the times or foolish. That I believe in a dusty outdated book but you won’t say that I didn’t stand up for what I believe in. I am not a hypocrit. I am the same person on Monday morning and Saturday night that I am when I am in the pew on Sunday. I teach my children right and wrong as I see fit.

    I am a Methodist and just as out founder John Wesley I believe what the Bible says and do what it says. It was a radical idea in the 1720’s to do so and may be now too but it’s what I believe. Read Bible do Bible.

    Those who responded to me did not get my meaning and I am not tying to get them to like me but maybe I can touch someone’s life through Christ through this. I am not trying to win a theological debate but here is how I live my life and what I believe.

    1 Jesus is the Son of God and the only way to salvation. And “God sent his Son not to condem the world but to save it through him”

    2 I am a sinner in need of God’s grace. I sin daily and need a savior. There is no sin better or worse that’s another. Sin is sin. My sins are no better or worse than anyone else’s. I am in need of salvation daily. I seek salvation constantly. It is not a one time event but a lifelong journey.

    3. When Jesus was asked what is the most important commandment he said”you shall love the Lord God with all thy heart, and mind and soul and the second is like it to love thy neighbor as thyself”. To love God is to love your neighbor. Who is our neighbor? Everyone. None of you may want to hear this or believe this. You may hate me. You may no want Gods love but I love you as a fellow human created in the image of God and God loves you. Bobbie Jo Justice, I love you and God loves you. Seranine Elliot, I love you and God loves you. Rev William Carey I love you and God loves you.

    It does matter how you feel about me or how you feel about God, you are loved. You can’t change that. It doesn’t sound like you have met any/many true Christians. Bible believing, Bible living Christians but that’s the message that they would tell you.

    When Jesus was dying in the cross with a condemned man on either side one mocked him. The other asked how he could be in Heaven. That’s all it took. Jesus said “now I tell you that you will be with me in paradise this day.” He didn’t say well I’m going to have to take down off of that cross and wash you up in the river then put some clothes on you. After this you will have to do a,b and c and then I will come back and if you have been good enough to and done enough good things I will save you.

    He loves us for who we are. I don’t care who you are, what you believe, who you love, what you have come from, what you have achieved. I love you because you are a fellow human.

    4 I am no ones judge. That job and place is no mine. I don’t care what you do. I wasn’t judging anyone. You did not listen to what I had to say but gave the same stock response that you always give.

    5 I am not a doormat. You believe what you want to believe but I have the right to believe what I believe. Which you have seen above.

    This post may get removed by I pray that I touched just one person. Someone that may be hurting. God is there with open arms to love is no matter who we are as long as we believe in him and love him.
    “But for for me and my house , we will serve he Lord” Joshua 24:15

  6. I am a transgender woman who lives in North Carolina and I am a Christian. My message is my God is the same as you’re God and his son Jesus taught the world that judging is a sin. If the flock will leave the judging to him the world would be a better place for all us. You can ridicule me you can call me names and you can continue to judge me but in the end you are the one who committed the sin. So have at it hell is not full yet.

    • Sorry Janice but you are deceived. You are not a follower of Jesus if you willfully practice a behavior that is clearly condemned from Genesis to Revelation. LGBT is sin and all practitioners of these behavior will have their part in the Lake of Fire. Jesus calls you to repent and allow His Holy Spirit to transform your mind to see things according to His Word. You cannot serve two masters, you will love one and despise the other. Clearly you are not following Jesus’ teaching but your own lust. Please repent while you can and ask Jesus to change your life. I pray that God will show you so that you do not remain lost in your current situation.

  7. “The only time Jesus ever mentioned sex in any capacity was to personally challenge people’s hearts, not to sanction them to impose their own preferences upon anyone else. It’s as simple as that.”

    We aren’t imposing our preferences on anyone else. They are not pushing for a transgender bathroom, nor to have completely enclosed separate, one person washrooms with walls from floor to ceiling, and a door with trim and no cracks. I would have no problem with that!

    They are imposing their preferences on us: “NO! we want to use the washroom you use!”

    THe LGBT need to stop imposing their preferences on us!

    • No. I’ve been using the womens’ bathroom for more than forty years now. It’s you who want me to change restrooms.

      If you’re worried about the possibility of a predator entering the womens’ room and molesting your daughter, why aren’t you worried about the same person molesting your son in the mens’ room?

      Why don’t you care that registered sex offenders are allowed to use a public restroom?

      Why don’t you care that I’m most likely to be sexually assaulted by a man I already know ?

      And why is it that I’ve been treated worse by trolls on the Internet than by any trans* person I’ve shared a restroom with?

  8. The solution is for hate filled “christian” bigots to stop harassing people.
    Bigotry wrapped in prayer is still bigotry.
    First the white “christian” people bullied, harassed, marginalized and murdered native americans. Then the white “christian” people bullied, harassed, marginalized, enslaved, and murdered black people. Then the white “christian” people bullied, harassed, marginalized and murdered gay people. Now the white “christian” people are bullying, harassing, marginalizing and murdering transgender people.

    • Rejecting sexual depravity and perversion in the life of an individual is NOT bigotry. Things need to be called for what they are and LGBT behaviors are perverse to say the least.

  9. “If you’re truly worried about child sex abuse, then as a responsible parent, it’d behoove you to know that in three-quarters of sex abuse cases, children are not harmed by strangers, but by members of their own family or someone they know. Furthermore, while girls carry a one in four chance of being sexually abused before age 18, the risk for boys is one in six. If bathroom predators are truly an issue, why on earth would I be worried about my daughter but not my son?”
    “The idea that we’re somehow protecting our children by discriminating against transgender people is abhorrent and a complete load of sh**. Even worse, it’s teaching an entire generation of kids that discrimination is okay as long as you can come up with some really scary lie to justify your own prejudices”

  10. From your posts, I have to say you are one of the most profoundly ignorant people I have ever encountered. You demonstrate a profound ignorance of what LGBT people are about, as well as ignorance of scripture: “Transgender behavior is a deviance of human nature, it not only is sinful but also an abomination to manind. The Bible clearly condemns from cover to cover… a behavior that is clearly condemned from Genesis to Revelation. ”
    Being transgender is not a behavior, and not a moral issue, and the Bible is silent on it, because it was not understood in the slightest when the Bible was written.
    Your posts are filled with condemnation and judgment. I can’t think of too many things more sinful and more abominable to God than judgment based on hatred and ignorance. And when it comes to that, you took the cake. It is you who need to repent.

  11. Thank you for showing your ignorance about Jesus Christ and Scripture. Christ is the Living Word. Scripture, ALL SCRIPTURE, is the Written Word. That means Jesus Christ embodies both the OT and the NT and ALL is there for our guidance and instruction. Homosexuality is condemned in Scripture, both OT and NT. That means that Jesus, the Word, has given us exactly what we need to live our lives by. Quit pretending you understand Jesus Christ, Christianity or Christ’s Church and be honest about what you are: an anti-Christ.

  12. You are free to believe scripture condemns homosexuality. That is your right. Based on my decades of experience researching scripture in the original languages (as opposed to relying on vernacular translations), I wholeheartedly disagree. That is my right.
    But in my view, when someone stoops to the level of calling a Christian who disagrees about something an anti-Christ, that person gives up any semblance of being a Christian. Your post came across as a bit arrogant, and not very loving. Jesus didn’t say we would recognize His disciples by their self-righteous indignation or defense of their doctrines, but by the love they have for each other… and that would have to include love for other Christians whose beliefs are different in some way.

  13. I missed the part about God condemning my trans friends. Would you show me in scripture? Other than one obscure verse the Old Testament about warriors not dressing like women?

    God treats other sex minorities with dignity, and gives them wonderful promises. (Isaiah 54 & 56) He requires nothing of them beyond faith in Christ (Acts 8). So why do you load them down with burdens God doesn’t require?

  14. If I used an insulting and derogatory word for people like you just did, I wouldn’t have the nerve to call myself a Christian. Jesus wouldn’t call people insulting names. Neither will His true followers.

  15. EVERY TIME. Make no mistake, EVERY TIME.

    Every time you allow clergy to say homosexuality is a sin, you have blood on your hands. Every time you allow clergy to say that transgender people are sinners, you have blood on your hands. Every time you allow someone to quote the bible or the koran to “justify” their piss poor treatment of other human beings, you have blood on your hands. Every time you allow a coworker, manager, employee, authority figure, friend, acquaintance, neighbor, spouse, sibling, etc., to make a homophobic or transphobic remark, you have blood on your hands.


  16. A former pastor actually told this to another staff member as a reason why he brought it up so much. At least he admitted it.

  17. I have no problem or difficulty staying out of anyone’s bathroom or bedroom (and they can stay out of mine). I have no issue with a persons sexual identity. I want people to be able to love the person of their choice and be able to marry. I have no problem with what gender a person identifies with. I support gay rights.

    BUT a PUBLIC bathroom/restroom is a different matter. I am a woman. I have lived a long time and I have seen a penis. However, I do not want to see a penis in the ladies restroom even if the person identifies as a woman. I find that offensive but I will handle it. I have a big problem with the person with a penis in the ladies restroom with very young girls (my granddaughter). That is more than offensive. And how are we to know that the person with a penis really identifies as being female. So either way, SOMEONE’s RIGHTS ARE LOST. I think we should err on the side of the young child. And that should not be considered being homophobic, or gender issue phobic.

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