Dear Brock,
Man, these Summers fly by, don’t they?
A while ago I wrote a letter to your father. I’m not sure whether he mentioned it or not. He never did reply, so maybe it got lost in the mail somewhere.
Actually it wasn’t all that long ago—not nearly long enough in fact, and that’s the problem. It was in June, and he had just pleaded on your behalf for leniency from the judge, for raping a young woman. To say you received it, is the greatest understatement on the planet.
And here it is, just shy of Labor Day and you’re out. In the span of a single Summer you’ve apparently paid your debt and earned your freedom.
After three months of “good behavior”, you now get to leave prison.
It’s too bad that the young woman you raped is already serving a life sentence. She doesn’t get a reward for good behavior. She doesn’t get to have her slate wiped clean. She doesn’t get to walk away and leave this all behind. She gets more of the same.
I bet she’d had a dreadful Summer. I imagine whatever pain she was in yesterday—is still there today and will likely be there tomorrow. Whatever bars are around her heart, aren’t as easy to escape as yours have been.
By the way, in case you haven’t read it, here is her story.
I really hope you understand what you’ve done, and that the brevity of your penalty hasn’t fooled you into believing it wasn’t disgusting and horrible, because it was. I hope over the past twelve weeks you’ve managed to comprehend the gravity of what your father called, “twenty minutes of action”, and that there is some measure of contrition and repentance in you that you haven’t shown yet.
For two decades I’ve ministered to teenagers, and during that time I’ve walked alongside devastated young girls, too afraid to speak up in the face of the most unspeakable violence. And do you know why, Brock?
You’re why.
Because when rape is reported, survivors get blamed and trauma is minimized and excuses get made, and handsome young men with money and talent and the right pigmentation, get to assault young women and go into jail in June and get out by September. It’s this terrible cycle of injury that pushes people into the darkness and shames them into silence.
I tried to tell your father all of this but he never did reply, so I’m hoping you read this.
Many people probably think you should just go home, keep your head down, and say nothing right now. I am not one of those people. I want to hear you.
I hope you say something soon and loudly. I hope you and your father will find a way to craft something remotely redemptive out of the horror you’ve manufactured for this young woman. I hope you’ll do something for young women like her, who are in hallways and on school buses and in cars and at parties right now, and who deserve more dignity than you provided that evening behind a campus dumpster.
Young men need to be taught the meaning of consent, and how to respect the word “No”.
Parents of young men need to learn that our mistakes don’t define us, but how we respond to them does.
Most of all, young women should never have to endure what your victim has endured. They should not be victimized a second time by the courts and the crowds. They should be treasured and protected and given the chance to have nothing but beautiful Summers.
This should all be the work you endeavor to do now.
Brock, you need to own your reprehensible actions, and to the degree that you can, you need to find a way to make sure that you shield young women from young men like you. I hope you read your survivor’s story every single day, and that you allow it to direct your path from here. It won’t erase what you’ve done, but it will give you a chance to make a mark in this world that is far less damaging.
One Summer is not nearly enough time to pay for a lifetime of wounds and tears and nightmares.
I hope you agree.
I hope your father agrees.
These agencies and ministries are doing advocacy work for victims of rape, incest, and sexual abuse. Encourage them with presence, with social media shares, and with dollars. Let survivors know the army of people who stand with them.
RAINN
National Sexual Assault Hotline
EROC (End Rape on Campus)
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Safe Horizon
INCITE (For Women, Gender Non-Conforming, and Trans people of Color)
On Eagle’s Wings Ministries
Human Rights Campaign (LGBTQ)
NCLR Nation Center for Lesbian Rights
Not Alone
Safe Helpline (Victim support for members of Military)
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