When Christian Women Defend Men Behaving Badly


I really think I’m going insane.

That’s the only explanation I can come up with, because clearly I’m not in my right mind on all of this, and I’d thought I was.

I thought those of us participating in Humanity all agreed that sexual assault isn’t okay; that a man treating a woman like on object isn’t acceptable behavior.
I thought that men don’t get to determine consent for a woman.
I thought that a man grabbing a woman by the genitals or forcing physical affection on her was the very definition of rape.
I thought that reducing women to body parts and sex acts was misogyny of the worst kind.

But I must have missed a memo because right now there are people (many of them inexplicably Christian women) acting as if this is all just understandable “boys will be boys” posturing; rationalizing and excusing it away as just what men do.

And I don’t get it at all.

I’m a man. I don’t do it. Most men I know don’t. 

In fact, as evidenced in Trump’s “apology” and in the comments of people like Rudy Giuliani and James Dobson, not only is this behavior all perfectly fine, it’s a somehow a logical opportunity to attack Hillary Clinton by bringing up the past misdeeds of her husband and chastising her for staying married to him.

A white guy boasts about forcing himself on women—and we make it about his female political opponent’s marriage. Somehow she’s the villain here and he’s the poor misunderstood guy just being a guy. She’s an opportunistic enabler and he’s an honest rascal just saying what all men think.

Seriously, I am losing my freakin’ mind and religion here.

I get it when white, entitled, hypocritical blowhards like Rudy Giuliani and James Dobson and Scott Baio and Rush Limbaugh resort to such tactics. As reprehensible as that is, at least I can recognize the self-preservation in it. I see them defending their own kind. But when women, many professing a Christian faith jump on this victim-blaming bandwagon and give guys like Trump a pass, everything feels upside-down.

I feel like everything I thought I knew about gender equality and about following Jesus has been flushed down the toilet.

That people can respond to one man’s vile mistreatment of women by bringing up the actions of his female political opponent’s husband, is sadly telling about the way women are marginalized in our culture; that we would seek to define Hillary Clinton not by herself but by her spouse—that we would force her to carry Donald Trump’s garbage.

How this isn’t strictly the story of Trump’s inexcusable, vulgar, borderline criminal behavior is something I’m not sure I can reconcile anymore. I think either they or I have lost the plot of what being Christian is.

What’s worse are those suggesting that Hillary staying with her husband through marital difficulties was solely to retain her “ticket” to political gain. This is a familiar refrain from Evangelical Christians, sadly many of them women.

Determining another’s motivations within their own marriage isn’t within any of our capacities to determine and well beyond our right to do. We aren’t qualified to speak for any relationship other than our own. Judging why another person stays married is the most slippery of slopes, especially for those claiming to be about Marriage as a sacred institution. And it’s the height of irony that in any another case, these same folks would be most loudly beating the drum for someone staying married. Apparently that doesn’t apply to Democrats or strong women running for President.

It seems to me that this conversation shouldn’t be about Bill Clinton, as he isn’t running for President.
And it shouldn’t be about Hillary Clinton’s marriage, because she and her husband are the only ones qualified to speak on the subject.
This should be about Donald Trump’s attitude and conduct toward the opposite sex, and about his fidelity—and nothing else.

If you disagree, especially if you’re a Christian woman, please tell me what I’m missing here.


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542 thoughts on “When Christian Women Defend Men Behaving Badly

  1. I can understand where you are coming from and I don’t care for the antics of Trump toward women any more than the woman standing next, in front or in the back of me does. We can either vote for a foul mouth man or a murdering woman. Not much of a choice there. And when the murderer tweets and congratulates women on abortions? I can’t vote for her. She also covered up her husband’s indiscretions because of her political aspirations. I have done some research and watched documentaries. It should be brought up because Bill Clinton will be back in the White House if she wins. He’s a serious problem as she is.

    “Yesterday, the Planned Parenthood abortion business marked 100 years of existence. From its days of pushing eugenics views under Margaret Sanger to its history as an abortion business over the last four decades, both actors and celebrities celebrated the Planned Parenthood abortion company.

    But perhaps nobody celebrated Planned Parenthood and its 7 million abortions more than Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. She pushed Planned Parenthood hard Sunday evening posting five separate tweets either praising or defending Planned Parenthood.”

  2. The problem is that the elites run the system for themselves. Look a the rules each party has for nominating presidential candidates, especially the Democrat Party superdelegate rule.

  3. As I grow older I realize that religion is a farce made by man to control man. I no longer belong to the Christian faith and I take my cue from nature. The Christian faith has exposed me to the hypocrisy and the lies that many practice.

    If Jesus Christ was to return as a Black man, gay man, or a woman he or she would be hanging from a tree by these same believers. They have made up and cherry picked what they want to believe in. Many are mentally deranged. Many say that God told them this and God told them that.

    Now when a person says they are hearing voices or a voice they are considered mentally deranged. However when a Christian says that they heard God speaking to them they are considered sane and spiritual.

    Many people know wrong from right BUT believe in the dogma preached by their hypocritical leaders. It is like racism. Many people hate other people because of what they have been taught, following the crow, what they continue to hear without ever questioning why. Just like followers of most faiths. They NEVER question they follow like sheep.

    That was why Jim Jones was successful in what he did. If someone told those followers that Jim Jones is mentally deranged they would never believe you. Trump is mentally deranged and will take America down a dark path of hatred, racism and bigotry.

    I am not an American, am married to one and America scares me now.

  4. Political opportunism and hypocrisy cuts both ways. Hillary Clinton sought to exploit Tiny Hands’ remarks and attitudes for political gain, and naturally her own role in enabling her husband’s pattern of misconduct became a topic of discussion. She is not an innocent victim here. I was disgusted with both sides.

  5. I’m with you, and while Christians all around me support this vile man, I’ve wondered what I’m missing. Paul said something about the deception of the elect–“if that were possible.” We now know it’s possible. God help us all.

  6. I read John’s posts and am drawn to Christianity at its most beautiful, accepting, loving and authentic. Then I read the comments and remember exactly why I left The church. The judgement, hypocrisy, and hateful comments are enough to keep me far away. Not exactly what Jesus was hoping for, I’m sure. Thank You, John, for representing Him so well.

    • It’s always so hopeful to find people outside the “church” who can see that someone has gone terribly wrong on the inside.

  7. I get there is value in crafting articles like this; using the ridiculous stuff that comes out of Mr Trump to feign outrage to feed the needy anti-Trumps. I’m sure it helps the author bring a few extra dollars into his “church”. I’m not defending Mr Trump. I agree the stuff he and Billy Bush were talking about was uncomfortable, wrong; boasting and exaggerating about real or imagined sexual matters in a way that conveys conquest and disrespect to men or women. But, I’ve heard, and I know many people have heard, this kind of talk many times over the years from both men and women, some in substantial positions of business and society. Doesn’t make it right, it just is. The reason this has little currency in convincing me and many others to be outraged is because of the overt hypocrisy. If Tipper Gore or Jerry Fallwell had written the article, maybe then this would be more believable. They’ve been consistent in their outrage. Where has similar outrage been for the past 30-40 years as the culture allows far worse language and images on display for everyone to see on a daily basis. I don’t see anything on the author’s website about any other outrage, other than Mr Trump. Mrs. Obama says she was shaken to the core when she heard what Mr Trump said on the bus, yet her core seems to be okay when she and her husband hang out with Jay-Z, Beyonce and who knows who else with far worse word selection skills than Mr Trump. I don’t see an article on here about the outrage toward the Obamas or Mrs Clinton for being pals with those sick folks? Nice try Pastor.

  8. Many of you Trump supporters who refuse to see the man he is are delusional and bat shit crazy! You use your religious beliefs as a butcher’s knife. How can any sane person support Trump? Have you all not listened to him? Have you all not seen and heard how he treats disabled people and women? Where is your sense of morality???? Stop the hypocrisy about the abortion issue. How many of you have adopted children who were born and not wanted? How many of you will allow any man to pull at your private parts? How many of you know what a lie is from the truth? Trump is a danger to the Republic and that means YOU and your family!

  9. Nice post. I learn something new and challenging on blogs I stumbleupon every day.
    It will always be exciting to read through content from other authors and practice something from other sites.

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