A Letter to My Daughter

 

My sweet girl,

There are mornings when I wake up and see you for the first time, and it looks like you’ve grown overnight; you’re taller or your face seems different in ways only a parent would notice.   

It steals a little of my breath because reminds me how fast time is moving, how quickly you are changing, how soon you will be a young woman. And as you grow, life will surely become more complicated—that’s just how life works.

One day it may be difficult to remember some things that are so very simple right now, and I wanted to make sure I said something in case you ever forget it.

I wanted to remind you about your body.

I want you to remember that your body is yours alone.
It belongs solely to you.
No other human being gets a say in it; how it looks, what it does, how much of it gets shown or concealed.
This is all for you to decide.
It is not up for debate with another—though I reserve the right to offer counsel until you’re out of high school.

 
Your body is your soul’s home for the duration of your journey here. It is meant specifically for you, so that you could experience every beautiful thing this world has for you:

The taste of chocolate.
The feel of the earth passing beneath your feet as run.
The exhilarating shock when you first dive into the ocean.
The smell of the grass as you settle into it and stare at the sky.
The sound of music that makes you dance involuntarily.

The dizzying rush of kissing someone you love.

Your body is the sacred space in which you will spend every second here—and you get to determine each of those seconds. Do not waste a single moment allowing someone else to decide for you.

There will be times when others will believe they can cast a vote regarding your body; how you dress or dance or show affection, or simply how you move and choose within in. Do not allow them this because it is not their right. You don’t require anyone else’s permission to live even a breath of this life.

And this is important: Even if someone tells you that they love you, even if they do love you—your body still does not belong to them. Never be coerced or shamed or bullied into doing anything other than what your heart fully desires. Those who really love you will always yield to your yes and your no—and those who do not, do not deserve proximity to you.

When you are a young woman, I hope you celebrate your body as much as you do right now. Never be ashamed of its shape, or its size, or its specific idiosyncrasies, because these are all proof that you are a once-in-History, never to be repeated masterpiece. Your body, for certain, is not all of who you are—but your body is part of you and that makes it beautiful, important, and entirely yours.

Enjoy every fleeting second of this life in your body, my sweet girl; feel and think and fight and work and love and embrace and find pleasure within it as you decide: not because I or anyone else said you can, and not as I or anyone else desires—but because you say you can, and because you desire it.

Dance every second.

 

239 thoughts on “A Letter to My Daughter

  1. Beautifully said John P. If only the world would allow for the individual! From peers, to advertising, to modeling, to institutional control, to cultural lines, to religious strictures, to the censure of those who should love you as you are the most, our daughters and sons receive mixed, confusing messages as their body changes and they are so vulnerable.

  2. Beautifully stated John. Very wise advice to a child.

    I am convinced the Lord gifted us with this body to experience the fullness of His love.

    But, lo these many years in this flesh I’ve tried to call my own, the self-abuse and that received by others and the “world”, I can confidently say- when the time comes, it will be a relief and joy to leave it behind. To feel the expanse of my Spirit.

    It is distressing to watch myself wind down. But what an experience to feel my spirit birth and rev up and outward.

  3. Thank you, John. This is what every girl everywhere and everywhen needs to hear. Over and over and over. It needs to be repeated constantly because the world will send a different message.

    • I wish I had read this when my daughter was small. I remember shaming her once because her hips never fit in jeans. It was a one-time desperate shoppong comment, but I’m afraid it sealed her outlook for good.

      • {{{{{{{{{{{{{Cynthia}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I am so sorry that happened, but oh my god, yes, words hurt and ring in our minds forever. I hope so much for healing in your relationship.

        When I was ten years old, I decided I would never have children because I never wanted to treat a child the way my parents treated me. They never physically abused me but there was a good deal of emotional, mental, and verbal abuse over the years.

        I have had to do a lot of work to recover and reclaim myself and now my mother and I have a pretty good relationship. I hope the same happens for you and yours.

  4. Wish at the beginning of my journey someone had said those things. I believe life would be easier if we all, boys and girls, are told this. We all need cheerleaders with the truth in our lives. I have sons and grandsons and that is not unlike what they are being taught. They are unique and God loves them and they should be at peace and celebrate their idiosyncrasies as they should celebrate others. We all have them. Life would be boring otherwise. Your daughter is a very lucky child. Peace and Love,

  5. Joe, it is just like your vile nastiness to interject your pathological obsessions into something so very beautiful. You lack compassion. You lack gentleness. You lack kindness.

    It is evident because you fail to observe the beautiful qualities of this post.

  6. This piece resonates so deeply within me. I so wish my own parents had known enough to say this.

    • As always, Theo Seebers, you prove yourself to be an abuser, bully, and man who doesn’t respect the boundaries a woman sets. Rapists are men like that. Do you want to be considered such?

    • You are a mean little man. Not much better than the crumbs on the floor. You seem to have gone over the edge today. Before you were just an irritant, you are fast becoming vile.

  7. I think each one of us can consider our lives and see what different paths might have been taken if we had received positive messages about our bodies, if we had been allowed to know how to name our body parts, if we had been given not only permission but the power to control who had access to our bodies.

    As a child, I never had any self-esteem because I was constantly told how fat and ugly I was. Photos show that I was rail thin with a pleasant face. It has taken the better part of my years to understand what I really look like.

    As I child I understood that I had to do whatever an adult said, even if it went against my better interests. I think the sentence “Come over here so that I can spank you” or the words “stand still” while being whipped should never be uttered. They make “Come here little girl” impossible to refuse.

    As a child I had to wear clothing that was uncomfortable and limited my ability to play. As a teenager, it became my responsibility to wear clothing that wouldn’t upset the boys. As an adult female, I had to wear what was in fashion and paint my face to keep my job while the men arrived in the same clothing day after day with clean faces. As an old lady, I wear whatever I damn well please and I am grateful for that freedom.

    I am also grateful that things have changed for our daughters (in some places, and in some ways), but there is still a long way to go.

  8. Joe, you have no soul. Unbelievable. Thank you so very much for taking something beautiful and destroying it.

    • I think that that comment deserves him being banned. He went way over the line on that one. There are some places that someone with any decency won’t go but obviously he does not have any decency.
      Peace and Love,

      • I agree, Kathleen. This blog would be a more wholesome place with that poisonous spew of Joe Catholic of the many pseudonyms. What he said above has got to rank in the top five of his hateful remarks. Right up there when he distorted the one about rape into the same topic, again showing no compassion at all for women who have suffered assault, molestation, and rape.

        I think all of us need to email John P and beg him to ban this person in his many incarnations. Who wants to join me?

          • Now… how can I get his email address to you?

            Sandi, you posted that trollfree email address once upon a time… could you post it again and I’ll email you John P’s email address and then Caitlyn Anne could email you?

            Of course, people can send me a friend request on Facebook is they use it and then private message me after I accept the request,

            Please tell me though, who the request is from.

              • Thanks, Sandi, I have just emailed you two email addresses I have for John P.

                Please, everyone, let’s beg John P to spare us from the venomous words of Joe Catholic and his many pseudonyms.

                • If I did I would PM it to you. I could probably figure it out, given enough time. Right now I am maxing out at work and home, the few hours I spend there not asleep so I have insufficent time to do any such in-depth search.

                  • Robin, if you have a FB account all you have to do is copy and paste my name in the little search box. It will take seconds. Go to my timeline and click on “message” and send me one.

  9. This is the sort of statement every young girl needs to hear. This is what a father’s love should look and sound like. Thank you for this, John. Absolutely beautiful!

  10. Joe, this really doesn’t make up at all for the fact that your kneejerk reaction is a lack of compassion. You demonstrated that with your posts under the name “Dear Daughter,” your post in the Misogyny discussion that revealed no compassion for women who are sexually assaulted, molested, and raped. You showed no compassion for any of who shared our stories about how we were sexually abused by men.

    This post as “Just Another Sinner” only shows you to be a hypocrite because if you really want us to believe that you were a person of compassion, every single one of your posts would demonstrate that.

    Indeed, you would have begged our forgiveness for ignoring our stories.

    • Gloriamarie, but he is talking about his own daughter, I doubt he cares much for others daughters. That is what his post shows. I try to look at all as if they are my daughters or sons. I want them all taken care of. I’m not surprised by this post, it just confirms what I already knew, he is one of those that I have mine and the rest get your own or go without. Peace and Love,

      • It is like your kind heart to think this way about what he wrote, but with love and respect, I think his words are fake.

  11. Just another, if we wanted to visit your blog, or hear your thoughts and commentary…we would do so. Stop usurping, it makes you look greedy.

    • “Just another, if we wanted to visit your blog, or hear your thoughts and commentary…we would do so. Stop usurping, it makes you look greedy.”

      Not to mention it is hypocritical for him to issue the invitation when he has castigated me so many times when I have offered people information about my groups.

  12. Oh, Joe, did John remove your other dear daughter post and now you are posting under yet another pseudonym. But we know your real name Theodore M. Seeber.

      • Caitlyn Anne, I have started to refer the more egregious posts to John P requesting that he delete them. It would probably help to have more than one person doing this.

        Of course, as we all know, even I know it, that every different place a person connects to the internet from has it’s own IP address. I doubt John has the time to keep track of every IP address that Theo uses.

        • Apparently Joe P. aka Theodore Seemer is the pseudonym for anyone that disagrees or offers a differing opinion from Mr. Pavlovitz. It’s disturbing that Gloriamarie thinks everyone with a differing view point is the same person. For a site that preaches equality and acceptance of differences it is oddly ironic that censorship is so welcome. Well Gloria the Bible assures us there is only one enemy.
          Not you, not I, but Lucifer and he uses your flesh, family, friends and even those in your fellowship to divert from and delay the work of the Kingdom of God.
          Matthew 13:37-39
          37 He answered, “The one who sowed the good seed is the Son of Man. 38 The field is the world, and the good seed stands for the people of the kingdom. The weeds are the people of the evil one, 39 and the enemy who sows them is the devil. The harvest is the end of the age, and the harvesters are angels.

          So I forgive you and will continue to pray for you and John P.

          Just Another Sinner

          • Theo, the dead giveaway is your failure, as you often do, to respect my name.

            And apparently, you are incapable of learning that it is not the disagreement but the manner of it. When you post hatefully, yes that will get reported.

            So change your tune. Post in gentlemanly, polite, and respectful terms.

            • Gloriamarie,
              I have always posted to you with love and respect, and I justify myself with my creator and Lord and no-one else. If I am disrespecting your name somehow please enlighten me.
              It is far more likely that you had my “Dear Beloved Daughter” letter removed because something about it resonated with you or John P.
              That’s ok though, whatever pain you are going through I will continue to pray for you and truly hope you find peace and blessings.

              Just Another Sinner

              For those of you who have ears to hear our website has the full uncensored posts our members have made on this site. We will continue to make the word of the Lord known.

          • Just another sinner.

            Wish all here would skip the neurotic focus on nom de plumes, — ‘we’re burnin’ daylight’.

            • Of course, if people didn’t lie about their identities, there would be no need for vigilance.

              Although why you would be on Theo’s side, I can’t imagine. He did call all who are not RC heretics, so that is what he thinks about both of us, bottom line. I don’t consider you a heretic, Leslie, but Theo does indeed think that of you.

              • I have not lied about my identify.
                I am not a Roman Catholic nor do I follow that denomination.
                I reserve judgement of non-believers to the great Judge, I am called to discern my brothers and sisters in Christ.
                I am increasingly becoming concerned about your well being.

                In love and peace,
                Just Another Sinner

                • Ten don’t lie about your name, then don’t says the exact same things as that troll, Theo Seebers, aka so many pseudonyms because people won’t believe your protestations.

                  I certainly don’t

                  • gloriamarie. why all the misdirection re identity? Let’s talk about Jesus. His identity is more important. The www is a dangerous place, and it’s completely normal, in fact advisable, to keep anonymity. Shalom. You sound so gossipy when you go on and on about what names people use.

                    • leslie m,
                      After some research by our team and thanks to Gloriamarie providing her real name I see the error of my ways, I have been trying to argue logically and self admittedly she suffers from mental illness. I will continue to pray for her and cease engaging her.

                      In love and peace,

                      Just Another Sinner

                    • leslie m, you really have mastered passive-aggression. Congratulations on your accomplishment.

                      It is not “misdirection re identity.” It is revealing lies for what they are.

                      Or do you believe lying to people is a good thing?

                      I’ve no idea why you defend Theo. Just a few days ago, he announced on this blog that anyone who claims to be a Christian is a heretic and that includes you.

                    • leslie m, no doubt you will defend someone hiding in anonymity to attack John P, his message or his fans here, but there is a difference in seeking the “safety” of anonymity to share and using it to hide from your own bile coming back on you.

                      How committed is anyone to their faith when they hide in anonymity and weaponize their dogma?

                • Do be honest, unless your parents named you “Just Another Sinner” (and that is always possible), you have lied about your identify, whether you are another entity for Joe Catholic (who has already admitted to several) or not.

                  • I had a brief, private message chat with Just Another Sinner, and they are not Joe Catholic, for sure. Just so people know. They didn’t want to have their identity known (I’m still not sure why) but I’m absolutely positive they aren’t Joe.

                    • Evidently, your reading skills leave something to be desired. Please not the date of the piece you cited.

                    • Which is why I am so adamant that people who are clearly in need of mental health services seek it out. It was hard work, took a lot of prayer, a good deal of God’s grace, but I am on the other side.

                      One of the reasons I speak up is that there are voices here that are every bit as abusive as the people who did stuff to me. Emotionally, mentally, physically, verbally.

                      It is why I keep saying that we must allow the light of truth to pierce the darkness so we can be freed from the darkness.

                      I had no idea that piece was in the public domain and I am quite shocked that it. I also think you had absolutely no right to post that URL. It is an abusive, bullying invasion of my privacy.

                    • Gloriamarie, At best, what just happened was unkind. I believe it was downright cruel. This is the kind of insidious bullying I detest. While just another sinner is unwilling to use their name they go around digging into other people’s lives who stand behind what they say using their name. This is the height of hypocrisy and he/she should be ashamed and ask for repentance. How cruel of he/she. Does he/she really think this is how Jesus wants us to act. I am so sorry this happened to you. Peace and Love,

                    • Agreed Kathleen, that is doxing and it is wrong and should be beneath any kind of Christian (but it isn’t). That only proves how low that person is and how they abuse the privilege of posting here and hiding in anonymity to attack others. Obviously John P scares them!

                      Dox: “search for and publish private or identifying information about (a particular individual) on the Internet, typically with malicious intent. “hackers and online vigilantes routinely dox both public and private figures”

                    • Thank you, Sandi. And thank you also for the explanation of “doxing” as that is a new word to me.

                      I wonder if it is in the OED yet?

                    • Thank you, Kathleen B. If I did look up someone on the Internet, I would never dream of making details of their private lives public. You wrote “I believe it was downright cruel. This is the kind of insidious bullying I detest. While just another sinner is unwilling to use their name they go around digging into other people’s lives who stand behind what they say using their name. This is the height of hypocrisy and he/she should be ashamed and ask for repentance. How cruel of he/she. Does he/she really think this is how Jesus wants us to act.”

                      I agree 100%. I immediately wrote to John P who has deleted it.

                      Just Another Sinner is clearly a person with no sense of appropriate boundaries and limits and is probably one of the people who post here who is in urgent need of mental health care. Someone that abusive and that much of a bully certainly has issues to work on.

                    • I think what bothers me is there is no shame. It was a matter of piling on. I don’t like that. Cruelty is terrible, but done in the name of religion is repugnant. Peace and Love,

                    • Kathleen B wrote “I think what bothers me is there is no shame. It was a matter of piling on. ”

                      I see it as a deliberate attempt to discredit me by attacking me wth the stigma that mental illness still has. Especially among the uneducated, evangelicals, fundamentalists, and the superstitious. So many things we call mental illness is really rooted in the genes and the chromosomes. Not mental at all but physical.

                      And yet vile books are being written about how prayer will fix a person, or his activity will fix a person. These books are written by the same sort of people who believe in the evil known as conversion therapy.

                    • Kathleen,
                      Gloriamarie herself said she was proud of being who she was and had nothing to hide, I and instructed me to look! I then asserted she had mental illness which she promptly told me I was spreading lies. I then did the rational thing and provided proof with the assumption from her own post that she could handle ANY and ALL public information about her.

                      In love and peace,

                      Just Another Sinner

                    • I don’t care, that does not change what you did which was downright cruel. You talk a good game but that is cruel.

                    • Looking and sharing and thus invading my privacy are two different things. You did not ask me my permission you simply STOLE that and insinuated that it was current information. I wrote that thirteen years ago. So by insinuating it is current information is to tell a lie.

                      More reason to think you are Joe Catholic.

                    • Just Another, do not even try to justify your boorish behavior, you are a poor example of a Christian and you are why so many feel the way they do about Christians. You hide and throw whatever you can at those who are not hiding. You are a bully and a crass jerk.

                    • Not to mention that the coward posting as Just Another Sinner owes me a HUGE apology.

                    • They do not want their identity known so they can freely attack and try to embarrass others from the safety of anonymity so it is a one-way fight. They are scum, whomever they are!

                    • Gloriamarie:
                      I too have a mental illness and at times it clouds my judgment and makes me paranoid. Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. I’m glad you sought help and are doing well now.

                      Sincerely,
                      HGM

                    • Except I don’t. Not anymore. Unlike so people who post here, I sought treatment because I am courageous enough to face the truth. Please don’t buy into fake news, lies, and misinformation that the trolls here tell about me.

                    • That is total BS and a cop out now that you are busted for what you are. God’s mercy is God’s choice. You have not earned any here. Dragging in a comment from 2004? Unconscionable, and if you were a decent person, you would be ashamed of yourself. Especially as you hide and do not allow anyone else such “research” ability!

                      There is nothing wrong with what she said, but sharing it was HERS to do and has NOTHING to do with a creepy bully like you!

                    • Thank you, Sandi. Not to mention I had no idea it was going to end up in the public domain.

                    • The hypocrisy on this blog is as thick as butter. Gloriamarie exposed Joe P’s real name to the public when he was intentionally being anonymous and encouraged people to bully him and where were you then? She refused to listen to any logical argument and where were your “Love your neighbor as yourself” morals then. I will be held accountable for my actions, and if the Lord convicts me to I will repent, my heart is open to that.
                      Kathleen and Sandy you should be ashamed of yourselves for playing in this co-dependent triangle with Gloriamarie

                      Just Another Sinner

                    • Keep projecting Just Another, keep blaming others for your behavior.
                      You, and you alone earned your scorn, just like Joe and his many entities has.

                    • Another lie, Traci Rowland outed Joe Catholic, aka Just Another Sinner, as Theo Seeber. As he has never denied it, it is safe to say Traci is correct.

                      But have I googled Theo Seeber and posted personal information about him here on this blog Nope. Nor would I because that is inappropriate behavior.

                      Appropriate behavior is apparently a concept too difficult for you to grasp.

                    • Hello me, it’s me again. You can subdue, but never tame me.

                      It gives me a migraine headache sinking down to your level.

                      Yeah, just keep on thinking it’s my fault and stay an inch or two outta kicking distance.

                      Mankind has got to know his limitations.

                      – Dave Mustaine

                    • Just Another Sinner, you have got quite a tenacious grasp on the wrong end of the stick.

                      Standing up to people who have displayed horrendously-vicious bullying behaviour is not itself bullying. In the comment section of a post on the inherent value of women and girls, to have this anonymous coward come in and attack any woman who described their lived experience, it is not to be tolerated.

                      Gloriamarie, Kathleen B and Sandi should be proud of themselves for not backing down in the face of this bully, and doing what it takes to keep other women safe.

                    • No, Sandi, you’re right. “In the comment section of a post on the inherent value of women and girls, to have this anonymous coward come in and attack any woman who described their lived experience, it is not to be tolerated.”

                      This is not to be tolerated. Nor is it to be tolerated when men such as Robin, have shared with us his story of abuse.

                      “Gloriamarie, Kathleen B and Sandi should be proud of themselves for not backing down in the face of this bully, and doing what it takes to keep other women safe.”

                      I am and I believe Kathleen and Sandi are also.

                    • I am. You have to call them when you see them, or in my opinion you become complicit. At least that is how I look at myself. I don’t answer for anyone else and I am not judging anyone else if they prefer to just let it go. I have said before and I will say this now, I have a refrain that has run through my thoughts since I first heard it, which is “and they came for me and there was no one left to speak up”. Since then I have felt compelled when I see egregious behavior to point it out. I will continue. Peace and Love,

                    • I agree with you, Kathleen. We must bot become complicit when others are abused. I feel that quite passionately.

                    • I agree Kathleen and I will not just ignore trolls of insults. I am sorry that it appears to monopolize the thread but letting them spew unanswered is just not something I am comfortable with. Like I said early on, I wish this site had “the like button” and the block user feature.

                    • Frankly, I don’t think it matters who is actually whom. This division within this blog community is a reflection of a larger problem in our country – having a real discussion only works when two things are true:
                      1) People recognize that this country is a secular country with separation of church and state, and that no one, no matter what your faith says, gets to impose that on anyone else.
                      2) There is willingness to respect other people’s beliefs, no matter what they are.

                      For example, we can have a theological discussion about, say, what the Bible says about sexual sin, and how we interpret that, and I’m certainly willing to respect that some people have very different beliefs about that than I do. But if we have a political discussion about gay marriage, everyone has to recognize that one person’s (or one religion’s) belief system should not have influence on public policy, because that’s not how it works.

                      But diversity of opinion does not include one group of people (J. Catholic, et al.) being intolerant and not respecting the beliefs and opinions of others, and continuing to spout their ideas in a tone-deaf way in a forum in which it has been made very clear that unless there is a willingness to have a real discussion, they aren’t welcome.

                    • Michelle M, I would agree with that I “don’t think it matters who is actually whom” either, if some posters here had not already admitted to posting under several different entities as well as anonymous such that they weigh the conversation when in reality they are one person. Can you not agree that is at least 1) creepy, 2) manipulative, 3) dishonest and 4) trolling?

                    • After much prayer and time with the Lord about my actions yesterday I do apologize for deviating off the path of righteousness. As my moniker suggests I am just another sinner, I do make mistakes, I do fall down, I do get self righteous.
                      As the Bible says
                      Romans 3:23 New International Version (NIV)

                      23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

                      I don’t implore you to follow me, or claim that my righteousness is the “way the truth and the life”, that is Jesus alone. In fact no man is fully trustworthy, only the Word of God is absolute.
                      2 Peter 1:19-21 New International Version (NIV)

                      19 We also have the prophetic message as something completely reliable, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts. 20 Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture came about by the prophet’s own interpretation of things. 21 For prophecy never had its origin in the human will, but prophets, though human, spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.

                      Much like the woman at the well I should have waited as Jesus did, until all were gone and shown this information to Gloriamarie in private, that is the moment I allowed myself to be drawn into the devils play.
                      My heart’s intention was never to hurt but to vindicate myself as a liar, that was my self righteous mistake. That was the prideful door that I freely opened to allow the source of all Evil to use me to spread a message quite the opposite of Love I proclaim.
                      But, alas there is hope for me. Jesus is my Savior and he forgives me and renews me in His Blood and Spirit, and I will be all the wiser for the next temptation.
                      So I deeply regret any pain, suffering or embarrassment my open words have caused.

                      Love and peace,

                      Just Another Sinner

                    • Thank you for that apology Just Another Sinner. I cannot fathom your motives here, but admitting at least one post was a mistake takes courage and integrity.

                      Do you go to other sites you disagree with and engage folks there? Is this something you enjoy? I cannot grasp the motivation for folks like you to come in here as you have.

                      Also, again I ask, what is your connection to “Humility Grace Mercy”?

          • On the chance that you are new to this site Just Another, I will say that you might have a valid point about thinking that anyone “that disagrees or offers a differing opinion from Mr. Pavlovitz” is called out as being a regular, but that regular (and some others here) has already admitted to several aliases they use to comment, including “Anonymous” as well as their regular handle. Surely even you and leslie m, can admit that is not honest, friendly or trust inducing behavior?

            Knowing that, it is not so “disturbing” that anyone questions someone who sounds so much like one of those who have done it before.

      • Thankfully! Blessed by the positive energy & folks that post~ goes along with John’s vibe. I ignore the crud- glad to not have to see it.

  13. Hi John,
    I have written to you before! We need men writing about women and honoring them profoundly like you do.
    It is still extremely rare. Your words are the beginning of a paradigm shift. I want to see thousands of men and then hundreds of thousands, and then millions of men deciding that we matter enough to write about for audiences of men and women. At the moment, these are all still women’s issues. Thank you John for making them human issues.

    • Alejandra, although his words sound kind I don’t believe that women need more permission from men to become sexual objects. I think we need to encourage women to be proud of their bodies but treat them with respect. I think we should teach our daughters to be prouder of their minds and their hearts. I think we should teach women they are respectable not just sexual objects for men to use. So I have to disagree we don’t need men lifting up our bodies, so they can play with them whenever they want we need men lifting up our minds and hearts wanting to respect us for what really matters.

      • Sorry, Humility, it’s not women who objectify ourselves. It’s men and patriarchy that objectify us.

        What John is talking about is the exact opposite of objectification – it’s allowing women to own our own bodies, and control our own destinies. As objects in a patriarchal system, we can’t.

        Objectification is when Mike Pence won’t dine alone with a woman. Objectification is when women don’t have control of our own reproductive rights because we are objects. Objectification is sexual harassment in the workplace.

        It’s not about “men lifting up our bodies.” It’s about us loving ourselves and our bodies as we are, no matter what men think.

        • “In 2002, Mike Pence told The Hill that he never eats alone with a woman other than his wife and that he won’t attend events featuring alcohol without her by his side, either.”

          I had to look up this reference. I applaud Pence for not putting his integrity and marriage vows on the line. I applaud him for honoring his wife and his marriage. Pence holds his wife above any business or fun, I pray I find a man who respects me half as much a Pence respects his wife. I pray all our daughters find men who love and respect them as much as Pence respects his wife. I will teach my daughter to demand that respect and loyalty from her husband!

          • Actually, Joe, this action on the part of Pence does nothing but objectify women. It is extremely insulting to women.

            • If anything Pence insults men. He is basically saying as a man he can not be trusted not to make a pass at a woman while he is alone or drinking. He is stating men are walking, talking hormones. His wife doesn’t care if a woman makes a pass at him but only his response. So I applaud him for putting his marriage above politics and business.

              1 Corinthians 6:18 NASB
              [18] Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.

              Genesis 39:6-13 NASB
              [6] So he left everything he owned in Joseph’s charge; and with him there he did not concern himself with anything except the food which he ate. Now Joseph was handsome in form and appearance. [7] It came about after these events that his master’s wife looked with desire at Joseph, and she said, “Lie with me.” [8] But he refused and said to his master’s wife, “Behold, with me here, my master does not concern himself with anything in the house, and he has put all that he owns in my charge. [9] There is no one greater in this house than I, and he has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do this great evil and sin against God?” [10] As she spoke to Joseph day after day, he did not listen to her to lie beside her or be with her. [11] Now it happened one day that he went into the house to do his work, and none of the men of the household was there inside. [12] She caught him by his garment, saying, “Lie with me!” And he left his garment in her hand and fled, and went outside. [13] When she saw that he had left his garment in her hand and had fled outside,

              HGM

              • Nope, he insults women because he thinks we are interchangeable with each other. he is a despicable little man who is probably deep in the closet, hiding from his own homosexuality.

        • Michelle, “Humility” is another pseudonym for Joe Catholic who has been revealed to be Theodore M. Seebers.

          • Last time I checked I’m a woman, by birth and by choice and that is why I am so passionate about treating the woman with respect. My body is a gift, a gift I’ve mistreated at times. A gift I was forced to give away on occasion. Men use the line your an independent woman but they don’t care as long as the pants come off or skirt goes up. It’s not about teaching abstinence, it about teaching God’s word and respect for ones self, it needs to happen at home not at school.
            Exodus 18:20 NASB
            [20] then teach them the statutes and the laws, and make known to them the way in which they are to walk and the work they are to do.

            • And yet, you have the exact same obsessions as Theo “Joe Catholic” Seebers. I wonder how you manage to keep all your “voices” straight.

              We don’t need trolls here. Go away.

        • Of course your words were harsh. You hate John P, Theo Seebers aka Joe Catholic and a multitude of other lying pseudonyms.

  14. “Before this month, I’d never heard of John Pavlovitz.”

    Dude, you’ve been commenting on this blog for way more than a month.

    And guess what, not all Christians are the same. And not all of them adhere to your particular kind of orthodox faith. Some of us actually find what John has to say as useful and important. And guess what? That’s for us to decide, not you. You get to decide for yourself what to read and believe, and gosh, we get to decide for ourselves too. What a concept living in a democracy with freedom of religion and speech!

    I keep not understanding why you are here. And I hate to break it to you but you’re actually not going to change anyone’s mind (I’m sure you’ve figured that out already.) And I know we certainly won’t change yours.

    Oh, and guess what? Colorado gave away contraception and decreased abortions by 42%. Why aren’t you celebrating that, huh? Abstinence education never did that (in fact, studies show it increases unintended pregnancies.)

  15. Michelle,
    I can’t speak for Joe P. but I am here because
    4 “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?

    In Peace and many Blessings,
    Just Another Sinner

    • I understand evangelism – I was an evangelical myself at one point. I get that for you, there is only one truth, and you make it your job to make sure that everyone hears it. I get that.

      It’s just that I think that it’s fair to say that this community is the equivalent of the person at the door who says, “no thank you” and wants to close it, and those like you (or just you, who knows) keep trying to stick your foot in the door, and we actually don’t want what you’re selling.

      You might see many of us as lost, but we don’t think that – in fact, we know that we are following Jesus just fine, thank you very much.

      I’m someone who believes deeply that there is some of God in every single person. And that each person’s experience with the Divine is primary – we all get to figure out our own relationship to God as we understand God. My belief is that no one gets to tell anyone else what to believe. I don’t get to tell you, and you don’t get to tell me. I respect your belief, but, alas, you don’t respect mine, which is kinda problematic, isn’t it?

      I make no bones about the fact that I sin. We all do. It’s part of being human (not because of original sin – I don’t believe in that, and there isn’t a whole lot of biblical evidence that early Christians believed it either – but because we’re simply not, and will never be perfect in our relationships to each other and ourselves.) But I get to define what my sin is, based upon my own experience and understanding of my faith, and what that means to me, not you. I get to say how it is I’m missing the mark in my walk with God, that is mine alone to define.

        • No, I would not say that at all. If I treat someone with unkindness (a sin, from my perspective a direct violation of what Jesus talked about) that will certainly affect someone else. If I am ungenerous, then people are affected by that, certainly. If I lie, that can certainly affect someone.

          What I’m saying is that each of us comes to an understanding of what sin is from our own faith journey. I know what I mean by following Jesus, and I know when I’ve strayed from that, when I’ve “missed the mark.”

          I’m a fan of the Wesleyan Quadrilateral – 4 aspects that should inform faith and practice. Wesley put them in this order: . 1) Scripture, 2) Tradition, 3) Reason, 4) Experience.

          Unlike John Wesley, I tend to put reason and experience ahead of scripture and tradition, but I do take all four things seriously. Of course what is meant by “tradition” can very much differ from person to person. For me, “tradition” means things we know (including, but not exclusive to the New Testament) about the practices of early Christians. Early Christians were more egalitarian, communal, and non-violent than Christianity after Constantine and the council of Nicea.

            • I wouldn’t say that, either. I sin sometimes when I don’t take care of myself, or I don’t spend the time to cultivate my spirit, and that hurts mostly just me. But I take Matthew 22:37-40 extremely seriously. Frankly, it’s really, really hard to love other people as much as Jesus wanted us to.

  16. “Before this month, I’d never heard of John Pavlovitz. ”

    Theo Seebers aka Joe Catholic, please cease to lie. You have trolled this blog for as long as I have been here.

    • Gloriamarie. This post is actually a blog article by Pastor Gabe, an SBC minister out in Kansas. Joe has plagiarized it by presenting its full text as his own without proper attribution. I have exchanged email messages with Pastor Gabe. He is a typical, brainwashed fundie dip who has been spoon-fed the fundie hardline and swallowed it all lock, stock, and barrel without—in my opinion—critical analysis.

      • Thank you, Charles. I did not know that. So here is yet another example of Theo/Joe’s lies. He has plagiarized something from another person’s blog. And yet, Theo is always telling us what a good Roman Catholic he is. He should really have zero credibility with anyone here on John P’s blog.

        Odd, too, that he would plagiarize something a non-RC wrote, since he told us the other day that anyone who claims to be a Christian but is not RC is a heretic,

  17. Theo, aka Joe Catholic, since you are an apostate, it really doesn;t matter what you think because, in your worship of the Puter-In -Chief, you have embraced apostasy.

    May God have mercy on your soul.

        • I think part of the problem is that some of us are completely willing to use our real names in conversations on this blog (and elsewhere,) and other people aren’t.

          Ultimately, mostly, we don’t actually always know who is who, but pseudonyms make it difficult – especially when there are definitely trolls here. It’s hard to tell who is the troll, and who is here to actually learn and converse.

          • I don’t believe in sharing my real identity not because I am scared but because I wish not to take credit for any of the Lord’s work. I do not want to get famous or rich off the blessings in my life. I think their are far too many evangelicals that use Jesus as a stepping stone to attain status, whether it’s their intention when starting out or not. I refuse to allow myself to go down that path. As you mentioned anyone could say their real name is something here and we would not be the wiser. And truly in my heart I am just another sinner.

            Love and peace,
            Just Another Sinner

            • Well, if you google me, you’ll find me. I haven’t googled any names here, so I don’t really know, but I figure if people use a name, it’s pretty likely to be their own.

              I don’t understand why you feel that using your name would mean you are taking “credit for any of the Lord’s work.” It’s not like we’re talking about prayer, and you wish to pray in secret. We’re just a bunch of people having a conversation on someone’s blog – from my perspective, that’s all God’s work, even when it gets hairy.

              Using my name means I am willing to take responsibility for what I say, and how I say it. And in general, I tend to believe that if someone is willing to use their name, they also are willing to take responsibility for what they say and how they say it. And those who are not, are, in my own opinion (which you are free not to share) less interested in taking responsibility for their words.

              John P writes with his own name, so it seems to make sense to me to use mine as well.

            • I think someone’s got delusions of grandeur here.

              Trust me, dude, you’re not getting famous off your passive aggressive comments on this blog, or the comments you’ve copied into your own blog.

              You have nothing to take credit for except being a troll. Please feel free to take ownership for that.

  18. The world’s view of Christianity has become so distorted. Institutions and denominations have added so much ritual. Individuals often try and push what God is working on in their own hearts on the general public. The rules have taken over mercy and love. The truth is a relationship with God isn’t about a church, a denomination, a pastor or a set of rules. There is only one thing that matter’s in Christianity, that is accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior, and entering into a personal relationship with Him. Being a Christian is about being in an intimate loving relationship with Jesus.

    When you become a Christian you make a decision to believe in and trust Jesus Christ as the Messiah, you accept His sacrifice for you, admitting you need His love, guidance and forgiveness and then He gives all that and so much more to you. The relationship you are entering into is the ultimate relationship, a loving relationship with the Holy Father, no other relationship can compare. The decision, to follow Christ, takes a leap of faith, putting your love and trust in an unseen God. It is scary to put trust in anything other than yourself, those of us who trusted other humans have been let down, disappointed over and over but God is not man and will never disappoint you. Unlike an earthly relationship, God will never leave or forsake you. The moment you give Him your love and trust, it’s no longer just about faith but you can see and feel Him everywhere, you know He is there and wonder how you were blind for so long. As you enter into a relationship with God, He takes your hand and guides you, changing you making you whole in ways you didn’t even know were lacking.

    The song “I Like It, I Love It” by Tim McGraw is a great description of how a great relationship causes you to want to change become a better person. Tim McGraw sings with joy that “My Mama and Daddy tried to teach me courtesy, But it never sank in ’til that girl got a hold of me, Now I’m holding umbrellas and openin’ up doors, I’m taking out the trash and I’m sweepin’ my floors” and because of the loving relationship he is doing these by his own free will, in fact he is “Crossin’ my fingers, and countin’ every kiss
    Prayin’ that it keeps goin’ on like this.” In a loving relationship it is natural to want to do things to make the other happy, to better yourself and the space around you. The human desire, to do things that make those we are in a relationship with happy is often called peer pressure, and doesn’t always create the best choices. If your relationship is with God, and you allow Him to influence your behavior, if you are looking up instead of out then you too will act with grace, love, forgiveness while striving to live a life that honors God. You will start reflecting His desire for you in your everyday life, not because you have to but because you long too.

    It’s a personal journey with God and as you grow in your relationship the Holy Spirit will guide you on what is right and wrong. Yes, it takes repenting of sins as God convicts you of sins, it’s not something you have to do but something you desire so you can be closer to God. Tim McGraw didn’t have to change his behavior for that relationship, he wanted to, it made him happy to become a better man. The Bible is a great guideline for how to live a wonderful Christian life, but the reason you change your lifestyle is out of love and desire for God, not because you are required.

    Christianity is a relationship with God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost. When you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, God adopts you and becomes a Heavenly Father, then the Holy Spirit lives in you and helps to guide you. God is a perfect infallible father, full of love, who is always there for you. The relationship you enter, when you accept Jesus into your life, is indescribable, it pales in comparison to any earthly relationship. A relationship with Jesus is more intimate and more personal than any earthly experience can come emulate . The most amazing part of this is God longs for this relationship with you. David sang if this in his last song recorded in 2nd Samuel 23:5 “Truly my house is with God. For He has made an everlasting covenant with me, Ordered in all things, and secured; For all my salvation and all my desire, Will He not indeed make it grow?”
    As with any relationship, the relationship with God is a two way street. A relationship requires work, time and energy. At times a good relationship requires sacrifice, Tim McGraw gave up seeing the “Braves play all year.” Paul highlights this part of the relationship with God, when he says “faith without works is dead.” If you are not putting anything into a relationship it will die. This is how relationships work. If a friend only calls you when they want something, then you start to avoid his calls, and eventually there is no relationship at all. If two people are married and stop spending time together, stop doing for each other, stop talking and getting to know each other, eventually they fall out of love. You might have had a true best friend in high school who could finish your sentences, then you went to two separate colleges and only see each other once in a blue moon; you might still genuinely like that person but the special bond is gone. In any relationship, you get out of it what you put in, relationships take work and the same is true with the relationship with your Heavenly Father. The really cool thing about a relationship with Christ is even if you drop the ball, God is ready and waiting when you decide to return to Him.

    Your relationship with God and what you do after that is between you and God. God gave us His Word divinely inspired to read and get to know Him, He might provide you with mentors and a church body to help you along the way but what really matters to God is your heart. If you desire the deep intimate loving relationship with God, you talk to Him constantly, use the Bible to get to know Him better and let the holy Spirit speak to you personally about sin. This is a truly intimate and personal journey, between an individual and God. There is nothing like a real relationship with Jesus, no earthly relationship even comes close.

    The moment you accept Jesus as your Lord and savior you are saved, have eternal life and are a child of God. There is nothing else you have to do to have eternal life, but as you truly come to know God in a personal way, you will crave for more. David says this best in Psalm 42:1 “As the deer pants for the water brooks, So my soul pants for You, O God.” The more you put into your relationship with God the more you get out of it. God longs for you, seeks you out knocks, begs you to love you and will never forsake you if you are pursuing a relationship with Him. Don’t get me wrong, you won’t like every correction God makes to your life. God is not a slot machine, doesn’t give out prizes willy-nilly. Like a loving father, God gives what you need, which is not always what you want. No matter what, God is always on your side.

    John 10:11-18 NASB
    [11] “I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep. [12] He who is a hired hand, and not a shepherd, who is not the owner of the sheep, sees the wolf coming, and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. [13] He flees because he is a hired hand and is not concerned about the sheep. [14] I am the good shepherd, and I know My own and My own know Me, [15] even as the Father knows Me and I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep. [16] I have other sheep, which are not of this fold; I must bring them also, and they will hear My voice; and they will become one flock with one shepherd. [17] For this reason the Father loves Me, because I lay down My life so that I may take it again. [18] No one has taken it away from Me, but I lay it down on My own initiative. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This commandment I received from My Father.”

    John 13:31-32,34-35 NASB
    [31] Therefore when he had gone out, Jesus said, “Now is the Son of Man glorified, and God is glorified in Him; [32] if God is glorified in Him, God will also glorify Him in Himself, and will glorify Him immediately. [34] A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. [35] By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

    • I would really appreciate this treatise if you used first person instead of second person. You are talking about yourself (and perhaps others in your faith community,) but not me. I’m glad you find joy in your faith, but your faith is not a faith that can give me joy, because a God that would condemn people to eternal damnation just because they don’t choose to believe a particular theological premise during their limited lifetime is not a God that I can follow, period.

      My treatise:
      I find God everywhere. In the orange poppy I watched as I sat in silent worship on Sunday. I find God in the amazing greens of the river I sat by this afternoon, and in the eyes of my beloved as we sat together watching the water go by. I find God, even, in these conversations, knowing that God desires us to treat each other with love and respect, no matter what our belief.

      I find God when I wake, looking at the trees outside my window. I find God while I meditate in the morning. I find God in the people marching last Saturday to save God’s amazing creation. And in the people marching a week ago to use our brain’s power of reason to make good decisions for everyone.

      I even find God working in the current political situation, spurring so many to actions and community and connections when they’d spent a lot of time disconnected.

      You might not find God there, and that’s OK.

  19. Proving once again that you are an abuser, a bully, coward disrespectful of a woman’s boundaries just like the god of your idolatry.

    What a pathetic, petty, little person you are.

    • Gloria, you sound angry. Why? I’m not angry with you. You have not treated me in a respectful way, yet I’m still cordial and respectful towards you.

      So do you want a truce?

      • You are LIAR. If you were really cordial and respectful to me, you would respect the boundaries I have set about my name.

        But since you choose to ignore them that tells us all that you are an abuser, a bully, someone who doesn’t respect a woman when she says “no” just as a rapist would ignore a woman saying “no.”

        I feel very sorry for any women in your family.

          • No truce, Joe and all his many entities needs to go. You are like a belligerent guest who has stayed too long and insulted too many. You lack any credibility or integrity and I want nothing to do with you except to see you gone. You have not right to troll this site as you do. You need professional help.

          • Theo, we called a truce before and you immediately broke it.

            Here are some things you have to do: 1) apologize for disrespecting me and my name; 2) promise that you will never do it again; 3) apologize to all the women here for your callous disregard of our painful stories about being assaulted and raped in order to complain about something John P said about Trump; 4) promise to never mention abortion again; 5) promise to cease citing the Roman Catholic Church as the only authority any Christian should pay attention to; 6) promise (yet again) to post under only one identity.

            After that, we will discuss a truce.

  20. *I’m not comfortable…”
    “I think it’s weird…”

    I’m sorry. Is this blog about YOU? Is John publishing here to make you feel good about yourself and your values and your beliefs? Nope. Don’t think so.

    So, if this post (or any others) cause you to feel “uncomfortable” and “weird”, please feel free to move on. We’ll all be totally fine without your input, really.

    As for people “desperately seeking attention” — pot, meet kettle.

  21. Excellent Thoughts John:
    Reminds US, YOU , Me of Times Past, and Times to come.
    Jesus Said : Come to me as a child and I will give you rest.
    As a child so I can see things Simply, Easy, with no implications involved.
    And non of the past to complicate things.
    God is Pure and Holy and wants YOU, Me, Us to See him in the light of a little child.
    NO Complications involved.
    For what it is
    Not what I want , or see , but what The Holy Spirit is trying to show me. Tell me, Teach me, Lead me to a Life changing View of his love for us,you, me .

    A Pure, Holy Relationship with God the Father thru Jesus Christ , with the Holy Spirit to comfort me.

  22. I cannot bear the comments but this post is beautiful and important. Raising girls to be strong independent women is admirable. I know because I raised one. You are a good man John Pavlovitz !

  23. Joe Catholic, do you have the sense to know what plagiarism is? No quotation marks, no citation = plagiarism. Not cool.

    And you can quote all the Bible-thumpers you like, that will not change the truth and conviction that John P is laying out is real, welcomed and spot on!

    Your trolling is becoming an obsession. You are to be pitied.

  24. Joe, please be reassured. I have a good relationship with my father. I am the healthiest that I have ever been, and am well loved and respected.

    When I write about the reality of my childhood, I do not do it for attention; I do it to broaden people’s awareness of the lives that some people are forced to live. Part of why it took me so long to heal from my childhood experiences was because nobody ever talked about it. You cannot heal from something you cannot process.

    A chance encounter when I was in my early 30s changed the way that I relate to my experience. I was at a new moms group with my toddler daughter. Elsewhere in the building, a janitor started mopping the floors. The smell of his mop water reminded me of the school janitor who interfered with me (that’s called a trigger) and I had to get out before I became incapable of caring for my child. I packed up the diaper bag and turned to apologise to the women beside me for leaving early. We had been having a really good conversation. Because I wasn’t in my right mind in that moment, I told her the real reason I was leaving, and off I went. We met again a week or so later at another event. She asked if I would drive her home, I think because she wanted to speak privately. She told me that she had been the victim of incest that was never addressed because no one believed her. While intellectually, she knew that she was not the only person on the planet who had experienced sexual violence, she said that it felt that way as the topic was never mentioned. Just knowing that someone else had an inkling of what she had gone through relieved her burden. I vowed then that whenever it was appropriate to fully speak the truth, I would. That has helped with my own healing, it helped in encouraging other people to speak their truth, and it helped when I was working in pastoral care at a university.

    I hope that you have now learned that I am a strong woman with a will to help others be strong. I have no interest in trying to tear down people as you attempted in your post. As a Christian, part of your mandate is to build up the body of Christ. That is not achieved with the behaviour you just displayed.

    • Patricia, The similarities are amazing. You brought tears to my eyes. The only difference is that it took me into my fifties before I could tell anyone beyond my husband what had happened to me. The fact that Joe C can minimize and make fun is disturbing to me. It says so much more about him than us. He also reminds of all those people who said hush when I was a child. Peace and Love,

      • Kathleen B, it is sad to have to say but Theo has demonstrated a callous disregard for those of us who have shared our stories. So many times he has revealed his lack of compassion, gentleness, heart, kindness, sympathy with sexually abused children and adults.

        We are not fetuses, so he simply doesn’t care.

  25. Mr joe. thanks for all the beautiful scripture.

    …. that’s how i first found pastor John too. I was looking up ‘apostasy in the Church’, and ‘false teachers’, and his name popped up. It took me 2 seconds to see that pastor John was ‘Emergent’ church which I already knew, has all kinds of offbeat teachings, including, negating the Cross & the Resurrection, and the Virgin Birth, and full acceptance of other gods. [Their spectrum of beliefs will knock the wind out of you.] A quick look at pastor John’s church website shows all the unbiblical teachings that they offer. They pride themselves in ‘shocking’ those that sit in the sanctuary. They offer every kind of self help, and ‘spiritual’ practice, without concern about the pagan origins of such practices. Notice that pastor John is in the habit of adding ‘zingers’ to all his writings. This is the hook, and his readers have become accustomed (addicted) to the rush that comes with it.

    My attitude is, it’s a free country, and we have freedom of Religion. At this point, if someone is inclined to drop the Truth of the bible, that is on their shoulders. They have the desires of their hearts and they have their reward. If anyone would have questions… we believers are always there for them, with love & care, & the narrow path.

    Importantly, Christian , stay in the Word, it’s your responsibility to handle the Truth every day, so that the lies of God’s enemies (which are increasingly subtle) stand out to you, so that you can guard yourself against them.

  26. A BEAUTIFUL LETTER, from a Father to his Daughter, but could be for any Child. Thank you John., we have shared it on Facebook and pray that all parents who read your blogs, or even those who do not on a regular basis will take this one, copy it and print it out and leave it for their Children or better still, sit them down and read it and discuss it with them.
    You are a great Father and role model for other Father’s out here.THANK YOU, THANK YOU…

  27. Kathleen B, it looks like JohnP has taken down JoeC’s postings. The unfortunate effect is that all replies go too. I’m glad that subscribing allows those replies to be in my inbox before they get pulled from the website.

    Thank you for your note about the similarities in our stories. And thank you for your keen observance that Joe’s belittling of the women who told their truths is a continuance of the shaming and silencing.

    I am grateful for all the men like JohnP who get it and aren’t afraid to tell other men to behave more honourably.

    • I too appreciate JP’s postings. I also appreciate your comments. You speak for a lot of us out here. So Thank you for hanging in there because sometimes it can wear a person out. Peace and Love,

    • Thanks be to God, some of the poison has been removed.

      “I am grateful for all the men like JohnP who get it and aren’t afraid to tell other men to behave more honourably.”

      Amen, amen, amen.

  28. Pingback: A Letter to My Daughter – FairAndUNbalanced.com

  29. I am very concerned here.

    There is one (“troll”) camp out to prove that JP is an apostate… to discredit JP and save the unsuspecting from “false teaching” and leading others astray. As if there was some literal golden trophy at the end of that feat.

    The other camp is out to defend and prove that JP is in fact a Christian, with forward, progressive, with the definitive understanding of Christianity. And who exemplifies living out Christ’s words. Also another golden trophy awaits.

    In the midst is one extremely disturbed person who is just in it for their own illness.

    In the meantime, and this is just an assumption, there are many people, like me, who are holding fast to their own faith-Truth, unswayed, who enjoy JPs blog posts for what they are, an address of social justice issues and how to best tackle those within, sadly, the most complex political environment of this age.

    Folks, this has become tedious. Would you please stop. I have been frequenting this blog going on a year and a half and have not seen it this bad… ever. Would you (both sides) please give us others credit for having a broader intellect, spiritual base and support system than just what comes from this blog host and comment section. Would you please stop.

    And Joe Catholic… would you please stop this. I’m at a loss as to tell you how you sound to us other in the bleachers. It’s not good.

    I am guilty of being snarky, I have lost my patience, I have lost my cool, I have prayed about this, I have begged, I have pleaded. I have walked away, I have come back. I have used this blog to form a dear spiritual friendship that I wouldn’t trade for the world. And so, yes, I am invested and I have been blessed by it. And now it makes me entirely sad that Christians, including me, have sunk to such depths. I repent.

    There is a recovery saying… “take what you like and leave the rest”. That is what I do here… please, y’all do the same and leave this verbal bludgeoning out of it. Please, give the rest of us a rest.

    • I can’t disagree with that. However, with Joe and his ilk, when they denigrate and spew hatred at me, I reserve the right to defend myself.

          • I agree with that, the problem is, he will go so far over the line that I can’t let it go without speaking up. We are where we are because people like me did not speak up loud enough. So on the one hand I agree we should ignore him, on the other sometimes he is so egregious and hateful I feel he needs to be called out. It is a conundrum. Peace and Love,

            • His words, or anyone’s words for that matter, only have weight if you give it to them. Right? One is in charge of the power they give away. After giving it away, then you can only be reactionary. I know this full well. I’ve been on the large end of the bullhorn far too often.

        • Have you seen what he has called Caitlyn Anne? The despicable things he has said about her? Don’t you care about her at all?

          • Gloriamarie, I just saw your comment. I don’t subscribe so I’m delayed in responding. To answer your question, yes I do care. But frankly, Joe Catholic has insulted us all at one time or another. And truthfully, Caitlyn Anne and I have more in common than you would acknowledge. We are colorful sisters. And she, among the 4 mainstay women that post here, is quite capable of handling herself and graciously I might add. I’ve respected not only her comments but also her wit and humor under fire, which I find refreshing. She has experience, therefore I’m not fretting about her. That’s ridiculous to assume I’m callous.

            • I am certain I would acknowledge whatever you claim to have in common with Caitlyn Anne but unlike some posters here, I have appropriate boundaries and limits and acknowledge that if you and Caitlyn have something in common, I know it is none of my business.

              There are somethings said here that simply must be challenged in the name of all that is decent, good, noble, and right.

    • Susan, I agree that since the Gropenfüher was elected things have gotten really bad.

      There is a troll free version of this blog, but you didn’t choose to join it.

      Meanwhile, m any of us will continue to point out the lies told by those who closely embrace fake news and false information.

      Especially when so much hatred, poison, and venom is ranted about a post like this one which anyone in their right mind would see is 100% from God.

      • Gloriamarie, I will resist in the manner in which the Lord leads me to resist. As I am sure you will also. I would just ask that the 10-12 mainstay commentors in space kindly remember there are other readers and potential commentors.

        I will not argue back and forth with you.

        • Ask all you like. But as long as the trolls attempt to spread lies and misinformation, you find that many of us will refute them.

        • Susan, when you said “I would just ask that the 10-12 mainstay commentors in space kindly remember there are other readers and potential commentors” do you mean to say we do not allow others to post their thoughts? Is there some limit to what a thread can contain to your way of thinking? I am trying to understand what you mean.

  30. I have seen Just Another Sinner’s apology for actions taken yesterday. I found the explanation to be a very interesting description of a method of self-awareness that I haven’t encountered before.

    In my meditations, I realised that I am reacting negatively to Just Another Sinner’s moniker. I am very aware of the theology around sin, sinning, and being a sinner, but I find the constant negativity of defining everyone as sinners first as a barrier to faith. I understand that that is not true for everyone, but for me it is.

    I relate it to child rearing. If you constantly tell your child that they are stupid and worthless, there is a very good chance that your child will be stupid and worthless, even if they were meant to be brilliant and critical to the well-being of society. So while I know that no one is perfect, I prefer to encourage the better attributes while guarding against negative actions.

    I am also reacting to the word “Just”. Nobody is “Just”. As John said, each of us is “a once-in-History, never to be repeated masterpiece”. When I hear someone say, “It’s just me”, depending on how well I know them and the situation, I will respond with “It’s wonderful you” or with a mini-lecture on their value. I also hate “just” used in prayer. I feel that it disrespects the magnificence of God’s creation. But that’s a rant for another day.

    All this to say that I am now aware that I am reacting to Just Another Sinner’s postings with initial irritation, even before I read the message, and that is a negative action that I need to guard against.

    • I like your introspection, you’ve given me lots to think on Patricia… Thanks so much. And now that you mention it, I’m a Spectacular, Never-to-be-repeated-Again Sinner… That fellow over there has got nothing on me. I own everything thing I’ve done (un and intentionally), am doing (still striving), and will do (so less than perfect)… And God is Great; forgiving it all. 👍

    • Well said Patricia, we all have to self-reflect on our motives, triggers and basis in fact.

      One of the biggest red flags for me is that universal “God laid it on my heart” to hurt, insult, rebuke…you . I just never find that God is the motivation for my snark or repudiation of what anyone does, says, thinks or implies.

      I have repeatedly said I do not even understand the motivation to visit a blog that you disagree with. It has never occurred to me to see if those I despise have a blog or if they have a supporter whose blog I could visit to rail against them, so the whole concept of repeatedly coming here to rebuke John P and castigate his supporters is beyond my ken.

      It is my inclination to stand up for my friends, for a POV I share and for a Jesus I know. I can see that rubs some folks the wrong way, but I am not likely to change at my age. But I do reflect on how I “speak” to people. Generally I respond in the tone I hear. I have had occasion to misread or get over-heated and I have to own that and apologize when it happens. But I pray that I never cop out by claiming God laid it on my heart to attack, dox, insult or defame anyone I am conversing with.

      • Sandi, I too would not knowingly go to a blog that I would be deeply in disagreement with. I have on occasion found myself on such a blog when a friend recommends something, but in that case, I just close the page. I don’t hang around haranguing people. I don’t need that negativity in my life so I question the motivation of those who do that here. Some claim that it is to bring the truth, or show the way, but their methods push people away from a God.

        Also, I loved that you said “beyond my ken”. There is something to be said for having and using a good vocabulary.

      • I agree with everything you said. When I do something hateful or snarky, I do it, not God, not anyone else, me and I am the one to own up to it. This is me speaking, I think a simple I am sorry would have gone a lot further. When you say I am sorry but,,,,,,,,,,,I was driven to it, that’s when I am lost. Peace and Love

        • I agree as to the quality of the apology. It was missing some critical elements and had a sentence at the end that is a classic “tell” that the apology isn’t quite as sincere as it should be. But still, it was made, and that counts for something.

          • I agree with all that, that is why I said that for me, not speaking for anyone else, just me, the but bothered me. I taught my sons when you apologize, say you are sorry without any buts, no putting it on someone else because they did something, no, they have to apologize for themselves but that still does not give you the right to be cruel. So there were no buts in our house. If you did, you take responsibility. That is just a pet peeve of mine. That is why I preface it with, I am speaking for myself. By the way, I like the way you think. Peace and Love,

          • Patricia, there was no apology for the most egregious error: the violation of my privacy. The troll took no responsibility for that.

            • You told us to do research, you told us to look up your name. You said you had nothing to hide, I researched your name, I am sorry you felt humiliated, that was not the intent of the research. Information found on a public pub site is public and not personal or private.

              HGM

              • And here we have it, folks, something that proves what many of us have though. Just Another Sinner and Humility Mercy Grace are the exact same person.

                ” I am sorry you felt humiliated, ” What a LIAR you are. I never said I felt humiliated. That’s libel you’ve just committed.

                What I said was my privacy was invaded. You didn’t ask my permission to post that. One of the fundamentals of Internet courtesy is to ask permission. This is true even of stuff in the public domain.

                Another freaking liar among the trolls, how long, oh God, before you rid of us trolls? With my apologies to Mark Twain.

              • I know who you are, where you are, what organisation you belong to, and what you have posted in the past, because the internet never forgets. Unlike you I will not dig up everything I know and spill it here to humiliate you like you have done to Gloriamarie because I have mercy and compassion for everyone, including you. Have you none of these qualities? Have you no decency?

                Please try to treat people as you would like to be treated. Is that asking too much?

                • Robin, Thanks for that. Perhaps others will learn from your example. One can hope, Peace and Love,

                • Robin
                  I am a member of the Girl Scouts, Prison Fellowship, LAP, PTA, Nursing Association of America, Alpha Beta Cappa Honor Society for 2 Year college, nominated for Who’s Who once, affiliated with Calvary Chapel Ministries and there might be more but I can’t remember them right now.
                  I live in the US, recently moved from one state to the next and I have only posted on this page for the last 3 days but you are welcome to read those posts. I have an FB page that I shared with one of the members here. I did let you know that I have bi-polar, yesterday, and I have shared more information if you want to read my posts on justanothersinner.org

                  Sincerely,
                  HGM

            • As you and I know, “the troll of many names” will never apologize for his attacks and egregious conduct against us. Unfortunately his bad behavior shows him as someone that cannot have a discussion with. There are others that disagree with JP and us here but we can have discussions with them. Not so the troll.

              • O)h, yes, Robin, I know. And that was not an apology by any definition. An apology takes responsibility and does not include the word “but” as if there was an excuse for the offense.

                The Person of Many Names has demonstrated a serious lack of maturity in every area.

              • I am sorry for inferring you felt humiliated, my thought was that you felt humiliated by what Just Another Sinner posted. I provided the information to Just Another Sinner. I was trying to apologize for making you not feel I wouldn’t have done it on purpose and I hope you will accept my apology for any negative feelings or misrepresentation.

                HGM

                    • You two do know that we are aware that you are talking to each other even though you are the same person…right?

                    • It’s as humorous as when the various versions of Joe converse with each other. It is truly astonishing to me that they think we can’t tell. I guess they put our intelligence level qual to their own.

                      Hmmm… come to think of that’s an insult. Harrumph

  31. “I have seen Just Another Sinner’s apology for actions taken yesterday. I found the explanation to be a very interesting description of a method of self-awareness that I haven’t encountered before.”

    Just Another Sinner apologized? Well, I didn’t see it. I was so turned off by some of the things written by this person that I skipped everything written because I assumed it would be just as vile.

  32. Um, well, I just looked up Theodore Seebers. He doesn’t seem like a very nice person, please stop calling me that. Do you keep calling me him because I’m overweight also? That’s very mean, I’ve been working on it but child birth (and to be honest so does bipolar) reaps havok on the body. I told you before that I am a woman by my birth and my choice I think it’s very, very, very disrespectful that you keep referring to me as as man. Stop taking away my right to be a woman.

    Sincerely,
    Humility Grace Mercy

    • “Strange”? Have you read the Gospels of Jesus’ time on earth? Was he kind, welcoming, warm and patient with the Pharisees and the righteous?

      Even if you count yourself among the 99 (“I say unto you that likewise more joy shall be in Heaven over one sinner that repenteth, than over ninety and nine just persons who need no repentance.”) you still might want to note who Jesus talks to and what he says.

  33. Sandi
    And you wonder why people think you commenters treat John as if he was a prophet or a deity? John is NOT EVEN CLOSE to Jesus. John’s FB comments are a much more realistic representation of what people feel about John’s writings. Maybe that is because differing opinion posts aren’t removed.

    In peace and love,
    Just Another Sinner

    • Well, here’s the thing Just Another…, I don’t. I do not wonder even a little bit “why people think” the way they do about John or about those who support him. I base what he says on my own understanding of what Jesus taught and until he gets crossways with that understanding, I support what he is saying.

      Jesus drove the money-changers out of the Temple, Jesus called out the church leaders and Pharisees, the strict law keepers who insisted on their rigid interpretations of serving God and being righteous. He came to save the sinners but he also came to warn the church and the law givers. I see John’s comments meshing with what Jesus said to all.

      I do not rule out God still sending in Angels or anointing a prophet if God wants to but I do not think John is either. I do not know how anyone reads the words of Jesus and claims it is John who is “NOT EVEN CLOSE to Jesus.”

  34. Yes, I find the way Jesus speaks to Nicodemus a Pharisee very respectful… I’ll provide more examples shortly. But Jesus spoke to the heart of people. He didn’t lash out in anger because they disagreed. Please share with me how I’ve acted to you as a Pharisee, what do I do that is contrary to the Bible? Do you know?

    “Now there was a certain man among the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a ruler (member of the Sanhedrin) among the Jews, who came to Jesus at night and said to Him, “Rabbi (Teacher), we know [without any doubt] that You have come from God as a teacher; for no one can do these signs [these wonders, these attesting miracles] that You do unless God is with him.” Jesus answered him, “I assure you and most solemnly say to you, unless a person is born again [reborn from above–spiritually transformed, renewed, sanctified], he cannot [ever] see and experience the kingdom of God.” Nicodemus said to Him, “How can a man be born when he is old? He cannot enter his mother’s womb a second time and be born, can he?” Jesus answered, “I assure you and most solemnly say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit he cannot [ever] enter the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh [the physical is merely physical], and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not be surprised that I have told you, ‘You must be born again [reborn from above–spiritually transformed, renewed, sanctified].’ The wind blows where it wishes and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it is coming from and where it is going; so it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.” Nicodemus said to Him, “How can these things be possible? ” Jesus replied, “You are the [great and well-known] teacher of Israel, and yet you do not know nor understand these things [from Scripture]? I assure you and most solemnly say to you, we speak only of what we [absolutely] know and testify about what we have [actually] seen [as eyewitnesses]; and [still] you [reject our evidence and] do not accept our testimony. If I told you earthly things [that is, things that happen right here on earth] and you do not believe, how will you believe and trust Me if I tell you heavenly things? No one has gone up into heaven, but there is One who came down from heaven, the Son of Man [Himself–whose home is in heaven]. Just as Moses lifted up the [bronze] serpent in the desert [on a pole], so must the Son of Man be lifted up [on the cross], so that whoever believes will in Him have eternal life [after physical death, and will actually live forever]. “For God so [greatly] loved and dearly prized the world, that He [even] gave His [One and] only begotten Son, so that whoever believes and trusts in Him [as Savior] shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge and condemn the world [that is, to initiate the final judgment of the world], but that the world might be saved through Him. Whoever believes and has decided to trust in Him [as personal Savior and Lord] is not judged [for this one, there is no judgment, no rejection, no condemnation]; but the one who does not believe [and has decided to reject Him as personal Savior and Lord] is judged already [that one has been convicted and sentenced], because he has not believed and trusted in the name of the [One and] only begotten Son of God [the One who is truly unique, the only One of His kind, the One who alone can save him]. This is the judgment [that is, the cause for indictment, the test by which people are judged, the basis for the sentence]: the Light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the Light, for their deeds were evil. For every wrongdoer hates the Light, and does not come to the Light [but shrinks from it] for fear that his [sinful, worthless] activities will be exposed and condemned. But whoever practices truth [and does what is right–morally, ethically, spiritually] comes to the Light, so that his works may be plainly shown to be what they are–accomplished in God [divinely prompted, done with God’s help, in dependence on Him].””
    ‭‭JOHN‬ ‭3:1-21‬ ‭AMP‬‬
    http://bible.com/1588/jhn.3.1-21.amp

    Sincerely,
    Humility Grace Mercy

  35. You are correct Jesus rebuked some Pharisee’s because He knew thier heart. He could read thier minds and hearts. He rebuked them by pointing out (with specific scripture) where they had failed (with specific scripture). You rebuke me for everything I say but do not tell me where I have failed to follow not only the letter of the Law of God but the spirit of Jesus. Jesus said some harsh things but always said in love.

    Sincerely,
    HGM

    Luke 11:14-23 NASB
    [14] And He was casting out a demon, and it was mute; when the demon had gone out, the mute man spoke; and the crowds were amazed. [15] But some of them said, “He casts out demons by Beelzebul, the ruler of the demons.” [16] Others, to test Him, were demanding of Him a sign from heaven. [17] But He knew their thoughts and said to them, “Any kingdom divided against itself is laid waste; and a house divided against itself falls. [18] If Satan also is divided against himself, how will his kingdom stand? For you say that I cast out demons by Beelzebul. [19] And if I by Beelzebul cast out demons, by whom do your sons cast them out? So they will be your judges. [20] But if I cast out demons by the finger of God, then the kingdom of God has come upon you. [21] When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own house, his possessions are undisturbed. [22] But when someone stronger than he attacks him and overpowers him, he takes away from him all his armor on which he had relied and distributes his plunder. [23] He who is not with Me is against Me; and he who does not gather with Me, scatters.

  36. I don’t know if I am welcome here after my furious tirades, but I want to say something while we are on the subject of rights.

    I don’t want them or need them.

    “But we have the right to…”

    “But they have the right to…”

    “But you have the right to…”

    I DON’T CARE.

    Lately, I have been thinking about the Native Americans. I’ve been wondering what kind of systems, or lack thereof, they had before we came and completely obliterated them. I want to say that coming in and stealing what was theirs, driving them out, and then building our systems that entail that the “right” to have their land back must be contested, is the epitome of audacity. I’m willing to bet money that the Native Americans did not need any constitutions or bills or charters to live their lives well-organized.

    How can I want or need something that has never existed in my world? Even if someone were to come and prove me wrong, rights are nothing but man-made concepts.

    • Taylor, your post is fascinating to me. It brings us to the question of what rights are and why we claim them.

      I will have to ponder on this for a while.

      Thanks for your posts. Although they may be made in anger they are genuine. I see in you a kindred spirit in you and I relish your posts.

    • Taylor, I can understand how you feel.

      From what I understand from my sad historical knowledge, the Native Tribes were not so much about inclusion and diversity. They were distinct and each had their own hierarchy, spirituality and systems for justice and getting along. Just like man has done since the beginning of time, they created what worked for them, that they could control and they understood things as their time period and knowledge allowed.

      War and possession was the way of the world for centuries “before we came and completely obliterated them.” They too had warred and fought other tribes so the concept was not new to either side.

      We see the atrocity through centuries of education and historical knowledge they did not possess. It was not”right” or “just” for our nation to conquer theirs but it was the way it happened.

      However ironic, we learned from the subjugation we inflicted as well as the persecution and subjugation of a kind many came here fleeing. It does look specious for slave holders to speak of mankind having “inalienable rights” but the concept still stands if you ignore the imperfect vessel it came from.

      Whether you believe God created the earth and the systems it operates under or the scientific creation theory, the fact is that we are here and we have to decide what kind of individual we will be.

      You may think that rights are something “that has never existed” in your world. We do indeed understand rights via a man-made concept but the rights themselves are not “given” by man.

      Being a “nation of laws”, rights can be taken away and certainly being in any minority that has been discriminated against (or made war against) you feel that it is all a bunch of hooey. I get that. When I was a child and not allowed to control any aspect of my life except my mind, I felt like that. When I was an ugly, awkward teen who could not seem to make the right decisions, or have luck fall to me, I felt like that. When I was an ignorant young mother struggling to raise our children in a crazy world, I felt like that. Now that I am a mean old woman, still living in an even crazier world, I feel like that often too. My point is, you are not as alone as you think. You are not as far from the norms as you think.

      Your task is to find the balances in life that allow you purpose, pleasure, and leisure. For some that is creating a business, gaining wealth, power and influence, for others it is working a job and raising their family, for others it is volunteering and working to make the world a better place, one day, one issue, one project at a time. For others it is just venting on a blog and interacting with the world on your terms.

      We all have limitations. You may feel yours are not surmountable, but know we all feel that way at times. A wise woman once told me, “fake it till you make it” meaning keep taking the steps and you eventually arrive where you need to be.

      Most of us here, seek the guidance of our faith, the value in the Scripture and the worth of friends to share the journey. My advice is to start there. Even as a conquered people, pushed onto Reservations and deprived of rights (and even basic needs), the Native Tribes held on to their spiritual beliefs. That is because they matter.

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