Sometimes you look at the world and you understand just why things are the way they are.
The Rape and Incest National Network (RAINN) reports that 11.2 percent of all college students experience rape or sexual assault while undergraduate or graduate students.
A 2015 survey of women places the number at 23 percent—nearly 1 in 4.
Additionally, RAINN reports that only 344 out of every 1,000 sexual assaults are reported to police. That means about 2 out of 3 go unreported. Many suffer the worst kind of violation in one devastating moment—and then with each passing day are traumatized again and again by carrying it in silence.
This week Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos announced that she is beginning the process of rolling back Obama-era guidelines on campus sexual assault, and as she did she reminded us why so many survivors don’t step forward—and why fewer probably will now: They know there’s a great likelihood that they will be victimized a second time.
As someone who’s worked with high school and college aged students for the past two decades, I’ve been on the front lines with young people and I’ve seen the hell survivors go through; not only from the violence perpetrated against them initially, but by the way others inflict injury after the fact.
When a young woman braves the physical and emotional wounds, when she pushes through near debilitating fear and finds the courage to share the experience of her assault, abuse, and harassment—the crowds watching from a distance rush in with all sorts of fresh aggressions: victim blaming, critiques of her clothing and her dating history, excuses of intoxication, suggestions of mixed signals, distorted definitions of consent, and benefit of the doubt for the perpetrator. Accusers face an almost insurmountable obstacle to making their assailants accountable and coming out of the process without further humiliation.
Other survivors watch this unfolding again and again in their campuses; they see the way already devastated young people are further battered by shaming, lack of institutional support, and systemic misogyny—and they decide that it isn’t worth enduring. They stay silent, they remain in the shadows, and they’re forced to carry an invisible but real and crushing weight of someone else’s making.
Betsy DeVos’ suggestions that she cares equally for both those victimized by sexual assault and those who are falsely accused of such crimes, ring terribly hollow given the fact that she works for a confirmed predator who’s boasted of uninvited physical contact with women, of unsolicited and vile advances toward them, of abusing his position and privilege to indulge his crudest inclinations.
The idea that she and this President (who has shown nothing but a complete disregard for the inherent value of women), are actually really advocates for survivors is as laughable as it is infuriating.
DeVos said in her statement: “If everything is harassment, then nothing is.”
I have the feeling that the desired goal of a President who said, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ’em by the p*ssy. You can do anything—is to create a world where nothing is harassment.
I think this President believes men are entitled to do whatever they want to women, because he’s always done what he wants—and he’s always escaped responsibility, dodged consequences, and actually been rewarded with the highest office in this country.
People like Betsy DeVos enable men like Donald Trump, they perpetuate an environment where young men are incentivized to do damage, and where survivors of that damage are less likely to speak about it.
I believe that regardless of what she says, while Betsy DeVos stewards our high school and college campuses, and while she serves a man like this President— survivors of sexual assault are going to be further pushed into the shadows and further shamed into silence.
And I’ll be doing everything I can to make sure that doesn’t happen.
Here are some resources, if you are a survivor and you need help, if you want to find out how you can be an advocate for survivors, or you’re
RAINN
National Sexual Assault Hotline
EROC (End Rape on Campus)
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Safe Horizon
INCITE (For Women, Gender Non-Conforming, and Trans people of Color)
On Eagle’s Wings Ministries
Human Rights Campaign (LGBTQ)
NCLR Nation Center for Lesbian Rights
Not Alone
Safe Helpline (Victim support for members of Military)
