Why Would Any Woman Support This President?

Growing up, I learned from the men and women around me what it meant to be a gentleman; how decent, good-hearted, honorable men lived in the world, the way they treated other human beings, how they carried and conducted themselves.

And from as early as I can remember, I was taught how women deserved to be treated by such men of character—with respect and compassion, as equals. I grew-up believing that in matters of intelligence and creativity and vision, women were fully my peers, and that I should learn from them and listen to them. I learned what consent was, and why I never had the right to decide for another woman, what she wanted or approved of. I learned that real men showed restraint and self-control. 

Implied in all of this, was the idea that not only was this the right way to treat the women I loved or met or knew from a distance—but it would be the way women would want to be treated; that they would appreciate being seen in this highest regard. This made sense to me, that every woman would treasure and demand being treated with dignity.

I must have missed a memo, because I’ve met many women lately who I just can’t seem to make sense of: women who adore and applaud and worship this President.

With every horrible thing he’s said about women, with his boasts of uninvited physicality, with his history of infidelity, with multiple marriages with ever-younger wives;
with his relentless vile and vicious attacks on the physical appearance, sexual lives, and even the menstrual cycles of female political opponents and critics;
with the way he’s terminated intelligent, capable strong women in his path;
with legislation seeking to take away women’s choices regarding their personal healthcare or to loosen campus protections for sexual assault victims.
—Donald Trump seems the very definition of the kind of man I was taught that women would want no part of—let alone brag about and defend on social media.

I look at them, and I wonder what it is that they think as they champion a nasty, predatory, misogynist like this man. I try to imagine the story that they tell themselves about him, about their own worth—and I wonder how they connect all the dots.

Maybe it’s some toxic cocktail of blind hatred for Hillary Clinton, lifetime FoxNews indoctrination, subconscious white supremacy, religious-fueled misogyny, deeply embedded self-loathing, and real-time Stockholm Syndrome—but I just can’t seem to make any sense of it.

That a man with such seeming disregard for women would be co-signed by other such men isn’t at all surprising. I expect knuckle-dragging, towel-snapping, cave men to want someone like them setting the temperature and making the laws and protecting their interests. That kind of self-preservation of a species makes sense.

What I simply can’t fathom, are women who affirm and celebrate something so seemingly antithetical to their well-being, something that with every word and every bit of evidence—suggests they are of little value. That affirmation feels like an act of self-harm.

As a man, I’m not at all qualified to answer these questions, and so I’ll rely on the wisdom of the women these words will reach, and lean into their responses—especially those who have complete peace about defending this President, who believe he is for them, those who are okay with their daughters living in the world he is making here.

As a man looking on at it all; a man with a mother and a sister and wife and a daughter, all of whom I adore; a man who thought he understood what decency looked like and was cherished—I don’t get it. 

Order John’s book, ‘A Bigger Table’ here.

 

283 thoughts on “Why Would Any Woman Support This President?

    • I don’t get it myself. I know 2 women of my aquaintance who voted for Trump. Both are devout Catholics. Both are white. One is very wealthy and one is upper middle-class. I believe they voted for Trump because he is a Republican and against Abortion. (Even though he really has never been vocally either way) Also I believe at least one of the woman grew up in a home where people of color were disparaged. I think these women felt Trump protects their interests.
      I think they are nucking futz myself and I have maintained our relationships by not discussing anything political with them.
      Every other woman I know hates him. REALLY DESPISES HIM!

      • Fear. Many women feel they MUST agree with their husbands. Or, they are trying to attract a potential mate. They feel they need to align with men’s thinking in order to seem more appealing. It feeds into the the deep routed fear of being alone.

    • Ultimate hypocrisy. Let’s not forget our great President Clinton who shoved a Cuban cigar into a 21 year old White House intern!

      • That was a consensual relationship and Monica Lewinsky will say that to this day. What it wrong for a powerful man to have sex with a young intern? Hell yes. Was it rape or unwanted? No, and despite all the crap Lewinsky went through since then, she still says she knew what she was doing and was a willing partner.
        Besides that—Clinton was a good leader. He was smart, he had experience, knowledge of politics and how government works, of foreign policy, etc. Trump is a perverted pig and has no qualifications that make him a desirable leader (or a competent figure). Trump is an ugly, pathologically lying bully who knows nothing of anything in government and has no desire to learn. He cares only for himself—his ratings, what people say and think about him. He is the thinnest skinned fool ever to enter politics or the lime light. His entering this election was solely about his ego and it still is to this day. Not the American people.

  1. Well John, others
    There is someone for everyone
    Love is not something you or any other writer, scientist can quantify or put a detail of understanding on.
    As you are raised up , this is how you believe.
    Just as the Bible , Gods Holy Road map of life states
    Train up a child in the way they should go and when they are older they shall not depart.
    Embedded Values of Faith, Trust, Loyalty
    Now the sin of mankind can change this . but this is really a True Blue Statement
    as you look at people and you detail the true depth of their belief system you see this in their lives

    There are so many truths written in the bible and so many heart to heart depth of soul values , and Must be Prayed , discerned, considered before applying so as not to miss the true meaning.
    Not surface statements , True in depth ways of life
    Patterns, Habits, ways of thinking.
    So as a man Thinks , so he is.
    needs descernment
    That is why , Man was created to need a Woman as a partner, friend, soulmate
    Woman was created to be a helpmate, soulmate, friend, best friend, person you can trust, loyal, trustworthy, and much more.
    Mankind distorted this value.
    Mankind discarded the values
    Mankind Sinned against God
    Mankind is responsible for the monstrosity of life
    give credit where it belongs
    YOU wont like the answer
    we were created in Gods image, With a helpmate , given by God, Holy God, And this was Corrupted by sin, Man, Woman, Both need to take responsibility for what they did.

  2. I’m not sure I’ve met women who adore him, but I do know some who are STILL proud to have voted for him.

    I wish I could understand. I honestly pray for that understanding daily.

    • Please explain how Trump’s personal behavior or perceived unacceptable behavior that affects a few people should make Hillary Clinton’s unacceptable policies that affect an entire nation acceptable.

      Women voted for Trump based on his policies. They overlooked his personal failings because they are smart enough and logical enough to understand that his personal failings didn’t magically make Hillary Clinton’s policies wonderful. You’ll understand if you remember how Democrat women gave Bill Clinton a pass for his womanizing and philandering because they favored his policies.

      • As I democrat and a woman that voted for Bill Clinton I can assure you I did not give him a pass . I was horrify that he lied to us and felt that he needed to step down when he did that. But unlike you it seems I feel my presidents personal failings may not be any of my business but his honesty to me is. And could you explain what policies you are talking about. Health care for children?

    • I may not have voted for him, but I am stupefied at the lack of insight regarding why women, or anyone for that matter, support the President. There are none so blind as those who WILL NOT see. Please, stop denying why Hillary was not elected.

      • She was a terrible candidate. She garnered fewer Black and Hispanic votes and less women voted for her than they did for Obama. She was a terrible candidate. Overconfidence. The media have been predicting for months that she had virtually no chance to lose the election. She was a terrible terrible candidate.

      • I still don’t understand why you support this President. His policies are hateful, cruel, and aimed at those least likely to be able to defend themselves. He seems to really enjoy making people miserable. He tears down rather than lift up. So please, explain what I’m missing. Where is my lack of insight?

  3. I couldn’t have said it any better. As a woman, a “Christian” woman, I don’t get it. I have been in the minority though with the “Christians” as they truly did vote for him. Most of them reviled Hilary Clinton for Benghazi, and for abortion issues. I have never felt safe with all of that hatred as if that sin of hating isn’t comparable. A sin is a sin for me, and we all sin and fall short of the glory of our beloved GOD’s standard for living. That is what grace is right? I haven’t understood a thing about Christians over looking all of Donald Trumps continual actions against the love of fellow man. Troubling times. The man has acted like a bully (making fun of a disabled man, calling out Megan Kelly’s menstrual cycle, how he is with his wife, how he said if Evanka wasn’t his daughter he would date her….Really?) Selah… The people who surround him and enable to continue to lie about so many things, I can’t wrap my head around the Christian community continual denial of this very broken man.

    • I, personally, feel your comments Lynn. Unlike you though, it was my mother who was my and my sister’s abuser. She bullied and belittled us to become Academic scholars as she once strived to be. But she met my late father in high school, and become pregnant with me and my twin when she was 16 years old. My parents had a “shot gun wedding”. Our parents marriage ended when we were less than 3 years old. As adults, we discovered that our mother’s parents, her father in particular, ruled the household with an Iron Fist. He and grandmom “spoiled” their eldest child, a girl, rotten, while keeping my mother and her younger sister and only brother, underfoot. It took some years of therapy to give Forgiveness for my parents’ shortcomings, and at 57 years old, I married for the first and only time to a wonderful man. Just celebrated our 7th Anniversary on April 23rd this year. The Peace and Love of the Almighty Spirit will come if you keep your heart and mind opened to receive it.

  4. I get it. Men may not get it because they assume they live in and were raised in the same world as women. This isn’t true. Men learn what it is to be a man from the men they grow up with. Women learn how to be a woman from the women they grow up with. We still live in a world, that in order to be successful, women have to please men. Men are still in power in most areas. The exceptions to this do not make the impact of the rest go away.

    I was raised in a home where my father’s word was law. I was raised not to talk back and to accept his treatment of me as how it should be. I was rewarded for compliance, passivity, obedience, and self-depreciation. I was raised to see sexually empowered women as sluts. I was raised in a world where the ideas of men were valuable, and the opinions of women were not. This resulted in my automatic response to be to defer to men. This made abusive men very attracted to me. I was raised to respond to abuse by trying to please my abuser more. It’s taken me most of my life to heal this. It’s literally been a process of changing who I am. It was very painful. I could go on forever about the personal backlash a woman receives from men in her life when she decides to stand up.

    This is more understandable with a good knowledge of history that includes the history of women, and not just men. We are vulnerable and dependent in the year before and after we give birth. We need men to help us then. We are physically weaker. We needed men to protect us. For all of human history, with a few exceptions, men have ruled. We don’t have a history of standing up to the ideas of men that are not in our favor, except for the past 100 years. 100,000 years or more of conditioning isn’t an easy thing for women or cultures to get over. I think we are doing pretty good considering our history.

    Also, women who are fundamentally religious have a harder time getting over it as religions literally teach that our role is to obey men. Trump has the support of the religious right, and the white supremacists. Both of these groups believe in a very limited, strict role for women. The women who marry these men have been conditioned that this is the way their god wants things. To stand up for their rights is to defy god. For the wives of white supremacists, to stand up for their rights is to risk violence or abandonment. The wives of both groups, of course, voted for Trump.

    You are right about one it being a a form of Stockholm Syndrome which is severe trauma bonding. One of the best ways to survive abuse is to worship and empathize with your abuser. They really like that.

    • Thank you for sharing. That was heartbreaking and horrifying, but from your writing I get the impression that you have worked very hard for a very long time to heal the damage left on your soul.

      Your insight is astounding.

    • Very well stated, L Kaiser, and I can relate to many of your experiences and I too have taken many years to heal. I am what most people would consider well educated and career successful, but still I sometimes allow certain my (Trump supporting) male family members make me feel small and worthless.

    • Thank you for sharing this. It helps me, who has spent my lifetime trying to climb out of the hole that men (societal norms and individuals both) have dug to try to put and keep me in. Like John, I too believed that no woman would actually vote for someone who actively works against the dignity and freedom of women. But your explanation helps me understand.

    • You were raised by a primitive form of Christianity which was, and still is, popular with men who are afraid to let women share the power.
      I didn’t grow up in such a Christianity, and we didn’t raise our sons and daughters in such.
      Even though you must have seen women all around you moving away from the subservient role but you bought the lie that this was somehow wrong.
      Thus you set yourself up to fall for Trump, his program, and all his lies.
      I’m sorry you couldn’t move out of that authoritarian, male-dominated world. I’m even more sorry that you, I would guess, raised sons and daughters into that same sick world. We all are suffering under the president and the party which you helped to empower.

      • Are you responding to L Kaiser? If so, you should re-read her post. I suspect she is much more enlightened about this than you are. Plus, you seem to be talking down to her, ie mansplaining.

      • You should go back to re-read what she said. Glancing over it and spouting blame to her is part of the same system that her post very clearly states she has worked so hard to get out of. She didn’t say she voted for Trump, and from her post she most likely did not. She did however say that she can relate to the system that has entrapped some wome some women that did. Your hypocrisy in blaming a women for not breaking free of a tyrannical system that is generations old is doing the exact same thing you decry in your post. You are perpetuating the system. Pot, kettle much?

      • Jeff – I imagine that your intention was meant to be supportive of women, however there are some statements in your message that include shaming and blaming, and as a result are terribly hurtful.
        The statements that this woman must have seen women all around her moving away from a subservient role, and that she “bought into the lie” that she had been had been immersed in since birth, lack an understanding of the world that some live in, and compassion for what it takes to break away from that life. First… There’s no “buying” into it; it just is. One needs incredible strength and perseverance to see and break away from the lies. It is incredibly lonely to feel out of sync with everyone else around you.
        Shaming and blaming women have long been tools used to keep women subservient. Women do not need you to feel sorry. Women need your love, compassion, support and respect.
        Whether you realize it or not, you still have imbedded in you the lies that permeate our culture. Me, too.
        Every moment, we have to be awake and aware of our own words and deeds to ensure that we are living out our beliefs as compassionate, respectful, supportive and loving human beings… to everyone we meet.

      • Who were you responding to, Jerry? Seems like you meant to respond to someone else not L Kaiser. She was sharing her perspective on the likely mindset and conditioning of those women Trump voters and defenders but is not one of them.

    • Wow. Pretty dead on analysis. Agree 100% – this is the only way to understand how white women, specifically, support Trump – non-white women not so much- and Amen to that!

    • Thank you for posting that response. It really does hit the nail on the head! I was raised in a similar household even though my father left us when I was a small child. My brothers then became the “patriarchs” of the family even when they bullied and ridiculed me relentlessly throughout my upbringing. I was smart and talented but NEVER encouraged to focus on schooling, instead, I was groomed for motherhood. My sisters and I where taught to focus on our physical attributes in order to attract a suitable man and praised for doing so. It was a badge to be accepted by men as “pleasing to the eye”. It taught me to seek approval of any man who could boast success and the ability to support a large family. After HS I was married and had children- College education was NOT intended for me since I was never intended to have a career. In my youth I espoused many of the one-dimensional counterintuitive values that many of these women do as hallmarks of their faith because it felt safe. It felt like I was following in the footsteps of my lifelong education. Fast forward 10 years after my abusive relastionship and 4 babies. I left my husband and went to college. My family is 100% sure that education ruined me and my values. They are frightened by this change and would do anything to support an political and social infrastructure that preserves their belief system. I’m the lucky one. I fight against my upbringing each day to raise strong children who veiw the world with the complex lens that they should. I hope with all hope they they never see themselves as worthless cattle that need the approval of others to secure their value.

    • Thank you so much for explaining this apparent anomaly to those of us who were spared the kind of upbringing that you had to endure. I’m sorry you had to go through that.

    • Women now are strong enough to care for each other during the time of pregnancy and the year after. In fact, I believe they always did care for each other during that time. Otherwise this post I find to be true. It is sad. THere was a time when women were not controlled by men or male gods.

    • May I post your reply to Mr. Pavlovitz on my FB page, L. Kaiser? I know more people like him (and me–puzzled as hell), but yours is the first cogent, detailed response I’ve seen. I’d like to pass it around, but it would be appropriate to ask first.

  5. Oh John, as a woman that had the chance to have a loving and respectful father I don’t get it either …
    There’s nothing remotely a pealing about that trump.

  6. As a 74 -year old woman raised in a conservative, patriarchal church and family, I will share that I only learned in my adulthood to expect and demand to be treated equality. While active in a Southern Baptist Church is was nearly impossible to realize one’s worth as a female. So, it is my belief that many women today have been influenced by the “evangelicals” especially their pastors. One other factor that I am ashamed to admit is that women often do not support one another which I believe accounts for many women disliking, even hating HRC.

  7. As anyone who has read my posts, this is a subject I am overwhelmingly passionate about. I would never allow Donald Trump, the man, into my home or within a mile of my granddaughters and grandsons.

    He has proudly proclaimed exactly who he is and how he feels to whoever and whatever puts his words and face out there. He considers a woman a “piece of ass” – his words, not mine. He has repeatedly rated women by number grade even proclaiming that a flat chested person would have a hard time being a 10. He proudly proclaimed that his personal Vietnam was avoiding a STD – no matter how many of our American heroes died in that war. His words are crass, insulting and odious. This has gone on his entire adult life.

    He has not honored his marriage vows repeatedly trading out for a younger version each time. His wife and especially his daughter are the very image of “Stepford Wives” with their biggest claim to fame being the ability to cover their perfect bodies with expensive clothes. His friend, owner of the New York Post, even posted nude pictures of Melania and Trump was proud to show all you men what he has and you don’t because obviously real men like him are just as shallow as him.

    Worst of all he is a liar and a bully. He has twice conflated women and blood in his words and a tweet. He posts retweets of knocking down Hillary, a train ramming a CNN reporter, and him wrestling a CNN reporter. He calls out reporters during his rallies inviting scorn and derision. The examples are too many to list.

    He has an ego that is so over the top as to be ridiculous. He ran on his business acumen which in actuality has been nowhere to be seen. He said he has the best people, yet most in his inner circle barely made it past 6 months. If that was his A-Team what are we in for next? His inner circle has been chaotic and leaking like a sieve. His idea of negotiation is the smack talk before a wrestling match.

    Now he has threatened to wipe out a whole country. Who believes that every man, woman and child in that country deserves to die because their leader is a madman. Does that mean every man, woman and child in this country deserve to die because our leader is odious in his own way

    • Thank you, Joanne (& John!!). Well-written. I appreciate your putting into words my thoughts and, what I believe, is the Truth. I believe those who voted for him, innocent men and women alike, did so because of an unconscious belief that their guilt doesn’t allow them to deserve better.

  8. Patriarchy at work, John. As long as their issues are met (abortion, immigration, the illusion of economic stability and so-called conservative values for them and their daughters) they can live with the cognitive dissonance of this guy. They don’t realize that loss of rights and respect for other women is ultimately a loss for them. As long as they have theirs. It’s called the zero sum game, and it is, frankly, bullshit.

  9. John this is an excellent post and thank you for writing it and for being a good man. As an educated, independent Jewish woman who feels it is a God-given right to be respected and treated as an equal to a man, I cannot say I understand it either. All the smart, successful, independent and self-confident women I interact with personally and professionally do not support this president and this includes those that describe themselves as Republicans as well as Democrats. I imagine the women who support Trump are those with a poor sense of self, low esteem and lacking in confidence that they can take care of themselves and feel it is a man’s right to abuse them, debase them, and strip them of their dignity. since that is what they have allowed Trump to do to our entire gender. I look forward to reading the thoughts of other women on this issue.

  10. Female Trump fans love Trump for the same reason male Trump fans love Trump. Christian Trump fans love Trump for the same reason areligious Trump fans love Trump. Trump fans love Trump because he makes “the liberals” mad.

    That’s it.

    They love his tweets. They loved the video of him beating up Hillary Clinton. They love that he is out to get Obamacare and they loved what he said about White Supremacists. And the center of this love is exactly the same: because it makes “the liberals” mad.

    Remember the campaign. His supporters didn’t care that he did not have an actual plan to replace the ACA. They didn’t care abut his indictment for fraud. They didn’t care that he ridiculed a disabled reporter. And they certainly didn’t care about his undisguised misogyny. All they saw was that he made “the liberals” mad, and that made him a hero in their eyes.

    Trump appears to be the first chief executive ever elected out of pure spite.

  11. Oh, John, I don’t understand it either. The way you describe how you were raised to think of women is how I wish all boys were raised in this country.

    You are right: Trump is the exact antithesis of how you were raised. He seems to think that he is entitled to say anything he wants to any woman and to do whatever he wants to any woman. He has even sexually molested young women, children under the law, competing in Miss Teen Universe when he entered their dressing room unannounced and they were in the process of changing their clothes.

    There may be a few things going on. One is the brainwashing you suggest. “Maybe it’s some toxic cocktail of blind hatred for Hillary Clinton, lifetime FoxNews indoctrination, subconscious white supremacy, religious-fueled misogyny, deeply embedded self-loathing, and real-time Stockholm Syndrome—but I just can’t seem to make any sense of it.”

    Another thing might be the brainwashing that occurs among conservative Christians, that women are second-class citizens with no rights or brains, who are objects for men to do with as they please.

    The other dynamic I wonder about is Trump’s alleged wealth, the lavish lifestyle and the mistaken premise that money buys happiness. If it does, one would think Melania would be radiant with joy but that is not the expression I see most often on her face.

  12. I really do think it’s a combination of Stockholm Syndrome and being reared in an authoritarian mindset that says everyone needs a “strict father” to keep them in line.

    There is, of course, a heavy dose of white supremacy on the side. 🙁

  13. John, the answer is very simple.

    They are racist and they are evangelicals and they are women.

    Their most important identity is White Racist. White Evangelical comes right after that. White evangelical doctrine has taught them that women are in subjection to men.

    So naturally, an openly racist candidate who promises to be an ally to their political party (Evangelical “Christianity”), and who treats them with the contempt they’re accustomed to, appeals to them greatly.

    Yes, they are treated with contempt, though usually there’s a veneer of courtesy over it. Trump lacks the polite veneer, but his attitudes reflect what they think a man is supposed to be, so it’s not as off-putting as one might assume.

    Remember, though, first and foremost they are *white*. They will not admit they’re racist, even though they voted for an openly racist candidate. What they *will* tell you is that they’re anti-abortion; they’re proud of that, because policing women’s sexuality is the second tenet of the Evangelical political party.

    The first tenet is segregation, but everybody is supposed to politely pretend we don’t know that. Lot of polite pretending amongst these people.

    • I think you nailed it – some people even if not racist are pro-life/anti-abortion enough that it is a sole litmus test, rather than “just” a strong consideration (where so many other policies being so anti-life/actually promoting abortion by removing supports for women and children in society and the workplace that it overrides the possibility of supporting him, at least it did for me.) I would rather go on arguing for appropriate limits on abortion with someone like Hillary in office, who in fact stated she was OK with limiting late term abortion as long as there were exceptions for the life of the mother) who is not going to kill off patients, friends and family with health care cuts, neglect of climate change, and warmongering.

      And then you have the fact that people do not like to admit they are wrong. So they excuse or explain away all the bad behaviors and keep on believing they voted and chose well…

  14. As a woman, I too am dumbfounded that any woman would adore, applaud and even worship Trump. Or even like him. I find him revolting on every level-even if his physical looks were appealing to me (and they are not), the vile words and actions of his would repulse me. I agree there must be some level of self-loathing, internalized misogyny and racism to approve of this man. But I still am amazed.

  15. “Maybe it’s some toxic cocktail of blind hatred for Hillary Clinton, lifetime FoxNews indoctrination, subconscious white supremacy, religious-fueled misogyny, deeply embedded self-loathing, and real-time Stockholm Syndrome” Spot on. Plus submissiveness. With a man “in charge” they don’t have to take on any responsibilities of their own. Oh, and he is supposedly rich, some women are really into that no matter what package it comes in.

  16. “….. I don’t get it” either. So blessed to have in my life, a wonderful husband that not only adored and cherished me, a father that lived and set an example for our three sons. He taught us what decency, respect and compassion looks like.
    Sad to say the Stockholm Syndrome may shine a light on this phenomenon.

    Anxiously awaiting your book ” A Bigger Table

  17. I was engaged to a closet trumper who was dating me for the wrong wrong reasons, and faked it as long as she could. So i got a glimpse of the WHYs….So what they did not teach you THE CAVEAT to those rules; i.e. power and money overrule all those normal rules. If this guy were poor, the normal rules would apply. But he is their fantasy of what their life can be like. If an idiot like him can be a billionaire, they can too. Its kind of like short guys rooting for short NBA stars or something like that.

  18. Not to worry JP… Trump doesn’t do a thing for this woman. If I had that “need a man” syndrome… It would end at him.

    Bless my lil ol heart. He didn’t speak into my idea of patriotism or Christianity. Something must be wrong with me.

    :/

  19. Conservative Women love Conservative Policies.

    We don’t love Trumps character flaws, but we do like his positive qualities:
    –He knows Economic growth lifts up more poor people out of poverty than raising taxes does.
    –Common Sense, he knows who are enemies / friends are
    –He’s not paralyzed by Political Correctness
    –He doesnt apologize for USAs strengths
    –He’s an innovative ‘doer’ with an eye on the ledger (black ink)
    –He hates to waste money
    –He repaired relations w/ ISRAEL
    –He supports School Choice
    –He supports Law & Order
    –He respects ALL Americans
    Conservative Women (& Men) love:
    –US Constitution which limits Govt powers.
    –Our individual sovereignty
    –Our nation’s sovereignty
    –Capitalism – Free Market
    –Strong Military
    –School Choice
    –Freedom of Religion; including Traditional Judeo/ Christian teachings

    Conservative Men & Women dislike:
    –Wasting our tax dollars on programs that are ineffective
    –Deconstructing the Constitution
    –Govt (inept) controlling our health care
    –Open borders
    –Socialsim / Communism
    –Social engineering in Govt Schools
    –Having pagan values pushed on us by Progressive Govt leaders

    • leslie m. I encourage you to expand your horizons by seeking information from other sources. Especially sources where the people in charge work hard to make sure the news they publish/broadcast is based in facts.

      • “leslie m. I encourage you to expand your horizons by seeking information from other sources. Especially sources where the people in charge work hard to make sure the news they publish/broadcast is based in facts.”

        So what did she post that wasn’t true?

    • Nothing you listed as a positive quality has actually happened or can be qualified as factual. Do your fellow conservative Christian women get their information from accredited, third-party sources or through gossip?

      • Edwin Mix wrote, “Literally every word of what you said is false, even the hyphens and the semi colons.”

        What a brilliant observation. Trump is one of the biggest liars in a heap of some of the hugest liars the GOP has ever produced.

        To believe those lies is the same thing as believing the lies of Jim Jones and people might as well drink the cyanide-laced Kool-Aid.

      • This comment makes no sense. You really think conservatives are for open borders, among other things listed? What’s was your goal here?

    • It is my understanding that conservatives claim to support family values. Yet would it be okay to ask how you support family values and support someone who is a mysogynist and says that if Ivanka wasn’t his daughter he’d date her. This seems to be a contradiction in terms.

    • Leslie, maybe in the parallel universe that the right wing seems to dwell in, Trump does all the good things you list. Unfortunately, here in the real world the man is a walking, talking disaster. He is an unparalleled embarrassment to this country, and given the vicious sexual behavior that he seems to have legitimized in this country, I fear greatly for my friends granddaughters and the world it looks as if they’ll have to navigate. Any woman who supports Trump should be deeply ashamed of herself.

      • It’s interesting that people are saying Leslie’s arguments are all wrong — but not giving any reasons why they are wrong.

        Responding to Leslie’s statements by saying “they’re all wrong” is not an argument. How is she inaccurate? Can you show that the opposite of what she said is true?

        Or is it just wrong because it doesn’t agree with your perspective?

        • Jeff, I will address a couple of issues as stated by leslie m. First I agree that he is not paralyzed by Political Correctness – he is paralyzed by his 6th grade vocabulary, his enormous ego, his inability to even pretend empathy, his deep dependence on spouting lies to remake his preferred reality, and, among so many other things, his complete lack of interest in actually acquiring knowledge.

          The only “doer” action has been systematically erasing anything with Obama’s name on it. Nothing innovative about destroying. He has created nothing.

          The only money he hates to waste is his own. He accrued wealth by using others people’s money, even tax payer money and not paying money he owes. He says he is the “king of debt”.

          To say he respects ALL Americans is laughable. He has disparaged or called so many people names (including a POW, the Pope, Mexicans, Congressmen, a Gold Star Family – too many to name) – and saves compliments for Putin and Russia. His enemies are anyone who did not vote for him or kiss his ring – over half the country he is President of – so he feels justified in never doing anything to bring this country together.

          To say he believes in law & order and the limits of Government power is also laughable. He has shown no comprehension of limits to his imagined powers. He feels he even has the right to tell employers to fire their employees. He does and says outrageous things to cause discord in this country and the world. He has threatened to “totally destroy” another country.

          I could go on but – so many words – too little time.

          To list social engineering in Govt Schools is the most offensive line in her little ode to nonsense.

          Peace Jeff

    • By “social engineering” in government schools, Leslie means that we should be teaching children to hate their fellow LGBTQ students, bully them, and make their lives miserable rather than teach the kids to be kind, polite, and loving to them like Jesus would want them to do. Fundies are great at covering their cruelty, mean-spiritedness, and Satan-like natures with euphemistic terms like “social engineering.”

    • And yet when these “conservatives” turn 65 a magical transformation will occur.
      It never fails.
      The undeniable fact that government cannot manage medical care will vanish instantly.
      Because they will then be eligible for Medicare — one of the most successful medical care programs anywhere, and far better than anything else available in the U S.
      Since they know government cannot be trusted with their medical care, they will reject Medicare coverage — right?
      Wrong. They will accept it, love it, and sing its praises.
      They’ll just deny government has anything to do with it.

    • leslie m wrote, “Conservative Women love Conservative Policies.”

      Except conservative policies don’t conserve. They are more wasteful than progressive policies because conservatives cut taxes and spend as if they haven’t. And then where they do cut funding they cut the programs that would allow people to flourish.

      The current bunch of conservative politicians have been the most profligste spenders in a long time and positively relish, or so it seems, as they waste tax dollars.

      In addition to wasting millions upon millions of millions of dollars to repeal the ACA, conservatives are willing to increase the deficit by $350 billion in that repeal.
      http://money.cnn.com/2017/01/04/news/economy/obamacare-repeal-deficit/index.html

      The DOD can’t account for several trillion dollars for which they have yet to beheld accountable and yet the conservatives want to increase the DOD budget.

      Considering how many times Trump castigated Obama for a golf trip and despite all those campaign promises not to take a golfing vacation, huge amounts of money are being spent when Trump goes off to play golf.

      Such as: “s
      Guarding Trump’s Mar-a-Lago club by air and sea has cost taxpayers $6.6 million”
      https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/guarding-trumps-mar-a-lago-club-by-air-and-sea-has-cost-taxpayers-66-million/2017/07/28/70dcc0f4-7224-11e7-9eac-d56bd5568db8_story.html

      Secret Service says it will run out of money to protect Trump and his family Sept. 30
      https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/secret-service-says-it-will-run-out-of-money-to-protect-trump-and-his-family-sept-30/2017/08/21/93d30132-868c-11e7-961d-2f373b3977ee_story.html

      The proposed conservative budget will only increase the plight of the poor:

      https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/22/us/politics/trump-budget-cuts.html

      https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2017/03/trump-budget-hud/519870/

      There is nothing conversative if people are forced into homlessness, hunger.

      As for “school choice,” I am surprised that you as a black woman would support that because “school choice” means segregtion.

      “He’s not paralyzed by Political Correctness” So I guess you embrace the bigotry, racism, white supremacy that would strip POC of their civil rights?

      leslie m, it is actually painful to read what you write about supporting things that no POC should ever support.

      Or a poor person. Or a disabled person. Or anyone not of the 1%. Or any woman.

      Conservative policies are aimed at protecting only 1 demographic: privileged, rich, straight, white males. Those are the only people the conservatives care about.

      I am sorry you have been so brainwashed, gaslighted, lied to, and so manipulated that you can’t see it.

  20. Internalized misogyny and toxic masculinity. White privilege. Rape culture. Patriarchy.

    See essay collection, Men Explain Things to Me, by Rebecca Solnit.

  21. You’re befuddled because the lens through which you process the views of others (those with whom disagree) has been rendered impenetrable by your biases. You believe Trump is a monster; how could anyone believe he’s not? You show your rigidity of thought each and every time you reject other’s views out of hand no matter how logically they’re presented.

    Worse, you corrupt their positions with your faulty filters and then urge them to think correctly, as you do: “This is silly. You’re defending bigotry and perpetuating discrimination. You should rethink the side you’re taking here. It’s the wrong one.” You can’t understand other viewpoints because you’ve blinded yourself with your own.

    Re-read your list of possible reasons why women would “love” (support) Trump, and think about how incredibly partisan and disparaging they are. You can’t begin to understand someone’s political motivations by insulting them.

    • Patrick, you’ve inadvertently revealed the lens of distortion that you and your fellow conservatives wear when it comes to discussing Trump. You gave no counter-examples as to why John was wrong, you simply attacked the messenger and thus destroyed any hope of a rational argument.

      Nothing John said was untrue and I would challenge you to prove him otherwise. Trump is and has been – in speech and in action – a misogynist, a liar, and a racist. This isn’t even a debate unless you’re seriously positing that the things Trump has said and done are things he never said and never did. Which would be ludicrous because we have the tape.

      It’s very easy to understand a voter’s political motivation. Voters pick candidates by either who the least worst candidate is or what the candidate can do for them. The primary job of the President is to lead national diplomacy and the military. Trump has already proven that he is much, much worse at statecraft than Clinton. Our allies are moving away from us and the military doesn’t trust him. His White House is a shambles and he is hemorrhaging staffers. So what it must, then, boil down to those who still support the man is some combination of white male supremacy, ignorance, and obstinance.

      Stop dancing around with semantics and recognize that politics affects peoples’ lives, especially people who live on the fringe of society. This isn’t an academic argument, a game, or an opportunity for you to score “God points” with whatever congregation you call home. The health and welfare of American citizens are on the line.

      • Wesley. You are apparently new here. It is nice to make your acquaintance. You will quickly discover, if you have not already, that FACTS are irrelevant to Christian fundamentalists and conservative evangelicals like Patrick and Leslie. They simply do not trust facts, like the fact that death occurred on Earth hundreds of millions of years before the parable human characters Adam and Eve died.

        Please feel free to visit the nearly 200 articles on my blog, and be sure to read the long “ABOUT” and “MY PROFILE SECTIONS.” The safe link to click is as follows:

        https://faith17983.wordpress.con/

        Have fun—and yeah—I am a bit passionate.

  22. I am baffled.
    I THINK it might be FOX News.
    I THINK it might be being a “good” girl and by NOT believing in sexual harassment, and perpetrators- it gives you the illusion of safety -because that won’t happen to “good” girls.
    I am saddened every day by the lowering of decency standards and the accepatance of boorish behavior.
    Remember the beautiful blonde haired little boy who stuck up his middle finger at a Trump rally and said “F— Hillary Clinton “? And his mother defended her child’s behavior to reporter by saying that he could think the way he wanted to ???
    I am praying for us all.

  23. I know that older women were considered part of trump’s demographic, which I REALLY don’t understand, but the younger women? In addition to the reasons you suggested, they have no idea what this could mean to them. They worked when sexual harassment wasn’t the issue women my age (71) faced; they were never told (thanks to Title IX) as I was, “if you were a boy, there’d be lots of scholarship money for you, but for girls, no”; they were never refused a job because they were married and “might get pregnant” ; they didn’t have to fight for equal salaries, and live with the threat of being fired for asking; their birth control is covered by insurance – it isn’t an out-of-pocket expense for them as it was for us. They simply don’t understand how far women have come in the last 50 years, and have no concept of how it used to be. I wish they’d talked more to their mothers, grandmothers, aunts and older friends so they would realize what might be in their future with a president who doesn’t value women.

    • Younger women – and indeed, younger racial minorities and gays who voted for Trump – are incredibly myopic. They’ve never had to experience the struggle. They’re too young. They think life now is the way it has always been and don’t realize they could lose everything.

    • Trump does value women—some parts of them far more than others. Two begin with the letter B. One begins with the letter P. The other is on their back side and goes by the term BB. All men value these things—but Trump just seems not to be aware of the fact that women are far more than those things.

    • We must tell our stories and our mother’s stories, , for the young women of today have no idea of the way it was and it isn’t taught as history in high school. I am 75 and I so remember and I tell and I remember the stories my mother told me too. Please please tell your stories Thank you for your post.

  24. I don’t see any evidence Melania loves him.

    Other women “love him” because they see in him what they want to see, and sadly that fantasy relationship happens with a lot of celebrities.

    Unfortunately, because they “love him” they will make excuses for him and forgive him anything and believe everything he says.

    I’m not sure what we can do about that aspect of human nature, except to field a presidential candidate in 2020 who is more appealing than he is.

    The Blue Team needs to nominate someone they will compare to DJT and say: I’d rather trust/believe/follow that person instead.

  25. I think it’s because women are smart enough to vote according to policies and are able to overlook personal sins, as they generously did with Bill Clinton. It’s really a no brainer.

    Yes, I wish for his sake Donald Trump would be a saintly man, and maybe he will be one day. Meanwhile, I want the best president, and I think as well as did my wife, who happens to be a woman, that Trump was the best person for the job.

    Yeah, I know that 10 years ago he said some gross stuff in a private conversation that was sleazily released. Can you let that one go? Or do you as a pastor tell people they must own their sins for all of eternity and can never be pardoned?

    Do you really have a terminal case of Trump-On-The-Brain, or is this just clickbait. (It would be a relief if were the latter).

    • Tell it to the Central Park Five, Joe Catholic. You support a man who is literally the antithesis of Christian values because you hope he will score you points on your single voter issue.

      I wonder what Jesus would say about?

      • What if that “single issue” unjustly kills millions of people? It’s a very important “single issue,” dwarfing many other issues.

        But I think you’re confusing politics and religion. Catholicism is my religion. Not Republicanism. Unfortunately it seems however that for progressive christians left-wing democrat policies and their religious beliefs are one.

      • That’s between him and God. Pray for him. Meanwhile, I judge him as President not according to his religion and personal piety, but by his policies.

        • Joe, you judge him as president but what has he done for this nation except tear it apart with his hatred and destruction of everything that Obama accomplished for no other reason than Obama was Black. He has placed us in the path of World War III. He works to help the rich and doesn’t care about the elderly or the poor. I ask again, what has he done to “make America great again”? It was already great, but we aren’t any more. Our allies are backing away from us and we are viewed as a joke by the world.

  26. I’m a woman, and I don’t get it either. Probably, I never will. I sure hope some other folks can comment on this post that to understand the women for trump mentality.

  27. I grew up around women like this right in Trump’s hometown of New York City. Sadly, there is no shortage of them there.

    It’s based in a form of sexism that holds the lowest of expectations of men. In essence: “Men are all pigs. Women must be the kind of woman who will compel them to behave better.”

    That way, when a man like Trump is a pig to women, it’s because THOSE women were not good enough to “force” him to behave better. It’s the women’s fault that he treated them badly.

    The women who love Trump? Many of them “love” him because they believe he’s “honest” about being this kind of pig. They feel they can trust him precisely because he acts like such a pig. In other words, he won’t disappoint them because he meets their low expectations.

  28. I would say, that for most, it is a case of going along with the men in their lives. Many a marriage is on the rocks right now over disagreements on this man. Many will not risk that.

    You would be amazed at what a woman will do, to ” keep the peace” even if it means her own self subjection. As in many cases, to do otherwise means, loss of her home, her income, her children or even her life. ( as the stats prove over and over of how many women finally leave an abuser, only to die at his hands a short while later )

    I am sure there are some benighted women on the Drumpters side of things, who honestly believe the hype and turn a blind eye to the truth. The rest, I would be willing to say are the ones who have shoved their own opinion on things down for so long, that they are just a reflection of the men in the lives.. now.

    • My wife and my mother happily voted for Trump and happily support him and are just as happy as I am that we dodged electing crooked Hillary. They did not, however, vote for him because of his personal misdeeds, just like you didn’t vote for leftist Democrat men who are womanizers because of their misdeeds.

      Give these women a break for thinking for themselves. Just because they are not pro-abortion doesn’t mean they don’t care about other women. (They care about the women IN the womb too! Hillary and her supporters don’t).

  29. I only know one female Trump supporter closely — one of my sisters-in-law.

    In her case, it revolves around two things:

    1. She does watch Fox News a lot. Constantly. She’s a stay-at-home-mom, and I work at home. So I’m able to visit my niece at odd times throughout the day. I don’t think I’ve ever once visited when she didn’t have Fox News on… and leave it on during the entire visit, often loud enough that conversations are tough. It’s a sort of background noise she’s simply used to. I don’t even think she realizes it’s on as she hears it half the time.

    2. She learned to support whomever ever father told her too. Her father’s extremely persuasive. My brother was about as liberal as they come. Since getting married, he’s voted for Trump, spewed racist BS I can’t believe came from him, and even attacked unions (while, of course, believing his own union is different). His f-i-l played a role here too. My family wasn’t one to talk about politics much. And my brothers and I don’t speak to our father. So my brother always sought a father figure, and his f-i-l gave him that, so it became this odd situation where he was always seeking approval. My siblings and I didn’t even notice it happening until we saw the Trump signs go up in their yard last fall. It was heartbreaking.

    I can only imagine what my niece will grow up thinking. Her parents surround her with these messages & this idea that women belong at home taking care of a husband, aiming to please the men in their lives (I have no problem with stay-at-home-moms by choice or even necessity, but in their case it’s very much a broader “this is a woman’s / man’s place” attitude beyond what happens to be best for them personally).

    When a woman is raised to think they should be subservient, or to take cues from what men tell them is right and wrong, I can see how it could lead to voting against their own interests. Now, I know all female Trump supporters don’t come from this background. But I can see how it might influence some.

  30. You and me both, John. That is indeed the $64 million dollar question. And as I see more and more knuckle-draggers coming out of the woodwork, as I see women being victimized twice by sexual assault and being talked down to and talked over, I fear for my friends’ daughters and granddaughters and the world they’re likely going to have to navigate. Trump and the GOP want to put women firmly back into the 1850’s, when women were property and had no say in anything. How other women can defend those policies and Trump’s behavior is completely beyond me.

  31. I don’t understand it either. However if you raise your daughters to depend on men and not on their own abilities then they will accept toxic male behavior. If girls are raised to believe they are not equal to men they will curry favor with abuser. I spent a lot of year serving street involved and homeless youth and male superiority was a common theme.

  32. John, I don’t get it either. My father held some prejudice against woman when I was born, but that was in 1940. It was sort of understandable then, although I never could comprehend why my brothers could go on camping trips by themselves, or be air traffic controllers, and I couldn’t . My attitude changed in college, when the world opened up. It wasn’t a big opening : Catholic girls’ school ; but it was much larger than midwestern Ohio. I learned enough to understand that I was, in fact, an actual person. With talents and failings, and had enough smarts to make my way in life and decide what I wanted. It occurred to me that the best thing we could possibly do for trump (I refuse capitalization or the honorific President) is to look him straight in the eye and then turn our back and walk away. No ass-kissing, no staring, no watching on TV, no applause, no attention whatsoever. I think those females who desire his attention, who dote on his appearance, are in the thrall of something that gives them a form of self-esteem. That is the only prize I can think of that would cause them to so debase themselves.

  33. I’m a single mother of an amazing, open minded son who values the strength and wisdom of the women who contributed in his life and society. He too doesn’t understand these women. I believe these women haven’t been impacted or traumatized by the hierarchy of patriarchy and are afraid of change due to fear of losing the protection their men provide. They accept male dominance as ‘just the way things are’ and possibly don’t know how to carry an opinion that doesn’t concur with the men in their lives. In doing so they choose ignorance over empathy and turn a blind eye to the ill treatment of women. They possibly undermine their own potential. If patriarchy doesn’t affect them then it’s not their problem.

    Religion plays a big part as well teaching little girls that their opinion is not greater than that of their fathers, brothers or future husbands. And the fear of divine judgement is greater than self preservation. Until these women are betrayed by the trust they’ve invested and beaten by the protection they rely on, they will continue to defy feminism calling it a male hating rhetoric that has destroyed the institution of marriage and family.

    Please understand this: feminism isn’t about hating men. I love the men in my life. It’s about fighting to have an equal contribution in the society I share with others, with or without a husband. It’s about raising healthy girls and boys who will see people and not gender. It’s about making sure there are plenty of healthy women of mind and body who are not traumatized by the violence and cruelty patriarchy has pounded on them. Women my son may meet and share a life with.

    Remember, women rose for equality in the late 1800’s. Gained their right to vote on August 18, 1920. After centuries of oppression and violence and in less than 100 years, women have accomplished so much but still have so much to overcome. Also, as long as greed for power exist, there will always be fractions that will try to tear apart groups with the power to create equality; dismantling the women’s movement is an example. Religious groups discredit and condemn them, men of power mock women’s movement reducing it to silly little things girls of feeble minds do. So I ask you a MAN who respects and values women, be a part of the solution and not the problem. Speak out against inequality and misogyny. Correct men when they belittle and undermine women. Be the voice for women against men who are just as blind as the women they lead, because not saying anything is just as bad as doing it.
    The picture you chose for your article with these smiley blond women, they don’t believe that in voting for trump, they began the process of chipping away at their own rights…rights that their great grandmothers fought so hard to gain during the women’s suffrage movement. They forgot what it means to suffer as a woman in a man’s world.

    • Or maybe they are just not left-wing extremists? And maybe they see the moral worth of life beginning at conception? And maybe seeing things differently than you do doesn’t mean they are poor stupid victims, but could instead be very strong women who don’t kowtow to feminist shaming?

  34. Truly hard to imagine! I wouldn’t even stay in the same room with a man like that, much less vote for him. Do they want to be dominated? That’s seriously scary.

  35. Me neither, John. Me neither. For the life of me, this grandmother of four Republican granddaughters can’t figure out what they are thinking when they speak approvingly of Trump.

  36. As a woman, I don’t get it, either. Unless they hate themselves and other woman with equal measure. Or they believe “it’ll never happen to me.”

  37. A lot of these women are redmeat conservatives that think along the typical conservative line that tough has to mean rough and cruel and leadership has to be a strongman affair by a central sovereign. So he’s a man’s man, a king’s king, and a reaction against the diversification of masculinity, against the popping of a bubble they were the imagined center of and that in which they imagined safety and prosperity.

    And also, there is no Trumpism, he’s really just repeating most of what Buchanan said back in the 80s. And a lot of these people agreed with Buchanan and still do, and jeer the “Davos crowd” with him, and not even with the same sense of humor.

    And we also have to remember that a lot of the most effective members of the KKK where the women’s arm. They can be violent, racist, and antiegalitarian just like any man.

    You falter in making the assumption that women are a monolith, both in what they believe masculinity to be and how it should be valued, what behaviors actually do constitute misogyny or disrespect, or in that they universally believe in equality – Jean-Paul Baptiste did not codify conservatism primarily as a reaction against the radical idea that we are all equal for nothing. Many conservative women I meet believe they most of this is fine because birth control and abortion are for irresponsible people and actually a form of welfare, welfare always being enabling of irresponsible behavior in return for liberal votes, of course. Many of them believe in evo-psych and its pseudoscientific defense of a conservative status quo, of the natural division of labor of the household.

    So no, you commit the same crime as they, to see women as a two dimensional monolith, whose exceptions to your liberal egalitarian understanding of gender relations must be sick, or traumatized, or that ultimate negator of debate, internalized misogyny, or to dismiss the fact that they may just be conservative, or tolerating what they do believe is nonsense garbage so their sovereign can push through a supposedly conservative agenda.

    • this response comes the closest to explaining the women who love Trump. I find him repulsive and can’t fathom a woman trusting him but I think the comment “women are a monolith, both in what they believe masculinity to be and how it should be valued, what behaviors actually do constitute misogyny or disrespect, or in that they universally believe in equality ” hits the nail on the head. My mother often told me guys are after one thing and modeled obedience and subservient behavior to men. I’ve moved way past those beliefs but I think that type of stereo typing of men as “pigs” and tough guys in charge is very much a part of our society and belief system still.

  38. I don’t get it either, John. That man is a walking monstrosity, in my opinion. I did NOT vote for him, and never could vote for him. My hope is that somehow, the universe will align is such a way as to remove him, sooner rather than later.

  39. John, I’m a woman and I don’t understand it either. In fact, it seems totally oxymoronic to me how one can be an intelligent, compassionate, self – respecting female and support this man.

  40. Gee whiz John. I learned the same things you did, growing up in the 1950s and 1960s, in my family and in my church with regard to women. People who treat women badly and hold them in low regard are a great puzzlement to me. Men like Trump and how they treat women are also baffling. How does a person grow up and take on that mindset?

  41. This is exactly what I have been thinking since
    the presidential campaign last fall…..how could
    any woman overlook the ‘man that is Trump’ and
    vote for him as our president??? Clearly, they
    did not vote in their own best interests!!!

  42. A good question. Truth is I seriously don’t know. I don’t see how any woman could support this… male. I can’t wrap my mind around a woman who can support a man who sees their whole gender as nothing more than walking tits and ass. That he has some sort of right to grab them any way he wants. That he can walk in on teen girls getting dressed to ‘inspect’ them because he ‘owns’ the project to they take part in. I just don’t get it. Especially women who have daughters.

  43. On a related point, I suspect that the women who like Trump grew up in Christian fundamentalist and conservative evangelical families where dad was some variety of “He-man athletic jock.” Dad hammered into the heads of the boys a certain jock version of what real men are like. Dad and mom hammered into the heads of the girls a certain jock version of what real men are like and the idea that girls were supposed to become a “certain way” and swoon for that kind of man.

    Some women—like my Aunt Lillie—who was a devout member of the fundie Church of Christ denomination, sought out nefarious relationships with men who—shall we say—were severely wanting in personal character. Her last husband Bill was a man of character so low that my mom commented: “Why did she have to bring that monster into our family?” He went to my aunt’s fundie church with her every Sunday and was a big church man no doubt. He loved money and big cars. He always carried a small revolver in his pocket—probably to protect himself from the people he was mean to. Moments after his terminal cancer diagnosis, he walked into the room where my aunt was standing, pulled a revolver out of his pocket, and said: “Well, I guess I’ll let you live.” He then put the revolver barrel against his head and blew his brains out right in front of her.

    Maybe all you fundies here can explain to me why my fundie Aunt Lillie was so magnetically drawn to men like Bill. That will help us to determine why some women are magnetically drawn to Trump—and know—Uncle Bill was not rich—but he was a lot like Trump though—for example—he was a racist. I walked through another one of my aunt’s living room one day when all the other relatives were sitting around and the subject of the American negro came up. He said with great authority that: “Finding a white woman to f-bomb was the black man’s highest aspiration in life.” I was the only one in that group of Creeschun relatives who cringed at Bill’s unloading on African-Americans.

    So yeah John. Why are some women so drawn to Trump and supporting Trump—and beyond that—I think a more salient question is: “Why are fundie Christian women like my Aunt Lillie so magnetically drawn to men of low personal character like Mr. Trump. Inquiring nonfundie Christians like me would really like to know????

    • Mr C:

      My Dad (b. 1924-) was an east coast Liberal & civil rights proponent & a liberal Christian. He treated me (& my mother) respectfully, as equals. I respected my Dad’s political views and agreed with him back in the day when Liberalism meant something else.

      My Dad was vehemently against Socialism & Communism . In fact some of his career was spent surveilling American Communists & putting them in front of jury/ judges. He also helped put people in prison for far less than what Hillary did. [ He was an FBI agent.] Today, he would have supported Trumps economic & military policies, and would avoid the prissy nagging about his personal foibles. (just like he did for Kennedy– my Dad knew way more than the public did, & he took to his grave.)

  44. As a woman with two daughters, I don’t either. I feel personally betrayed by these women and like you, wonder what fuels their support.

  45. Oh. Wait. I got it. They think he’s the American James Bond who somehow got rich and invaded the White House—and they are his “Bond Girl’s.” Maybe this is how men like Trump get started:

  46. Perhaps Donald Trump was elected because thousands of years of male patriarchy trumps 40-100 years of varying degrees of women’s liberation?

    If you want to blame something for women’s support of Donald Trump, blame the wage gap. It is real and pernicious. Women are second class citizens until they make equal pay for equal or similar work. Many women are dependent on a male partner to pay the bills of the household. (And if that man is violent, that the woman doesn’t make as much money as her partner makes it harder for her to leave.)

    If you want a woman elected president, if you want half of all mayors and governors and congresspeople to be women, if you want equality and equal representation, if you want to smash the patriarchy, then please work to close the wage gap. You could write about it. Women can’t be free and independent until they are economically free and independent.

    And finally women could have voted with their husbands for Trump because “Women have served all these centuries as looking-glasses possessing the magic and delicious power of reflecting the figure of man at twice its natural size.” (Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own)
    That is still many women’s role, to elevate the men in their lives.

  47. I don’t get it either! Many Christian women I know and are family support him😳 I can only figure because trump says he wants God back in America so they overlook his many flaws😆 Lord, help us all🙏🏼

  48. As a woman, I’m just as dumbfounded and bewildered as you are, also horrified and heart broken. I endorse every sentiment you expressed in this article. My husband, young adult son and daughter are also mystified.

  49. “Maybe it’s some toxic cocktail of blind hatred for Hillary Clinton, lifetime FoxNews indoctrination, subconscious white supremacy, religious-fueled misogyny, deeply embedded self-loathing, and real-time Stockholm Syndrome—but I just can’t seem to make any sense of it.Maybe it’s some toxic cocktail of blind hatred for Hillary Clinton, lifetime FoxNews indoctrination, subconscious white supremacy, religious-fueled misogyny, deeply embedded self-loathing, and real-time Stockholm Syndrome—but I just can’t seem to make any sense of it.”

    Throw in a society that glorifies the wealthy, no matter how they got that way, , and you seem to have pretty well made sense of it. But the money really is a crucial detail bc there is this weird providentialist strain in America that seems to believe that guys like Trump aren’ just richer than the rest of us, luckier than the rest of us- they are actually better than the rest of us, and entitled to behave however they like. All that stuff we learned as kids: manners, respect for others, simple common decency- that stuff is for the common folk. It does not and should not apply to someone like Trump. I mean you might as well expect our lords and masters to fly commercial, like some kind of peasants…..

  50. I am a woman and I don’t get it either. It might be connected to the reason poor Republicans continue to vote against their own self interest. I don’t get that either.

  51. I don’t get it either John. It boggles the mind. However, one thing you wrote may be the answer. From childhood we learn self-loathing and I don’t think boys/men do. We are never enough whether talking about physical appearance or our minds. All the little jokes about women pile up whether about the color of our hair, our driving abilities, our way of thinking or the smell of our genitals. So I think when a man comes along like Donald Trump some women will love him. For me the money would be the only attractor and even then it is too high a price to pay to spend even a minute with this man. Thanks for writing about this.

  52. John Pavlovitz: Thank you for trying to understand the women who support trump. I lower my head in shame and shake it back and forth unable to conceive how women (or anyone) can be so supportive of trump. How can any woman with an ounce of dignity believe this man cares about women and women’s rights; particularly now as we see this Administration trying to repeal so many women’s rights that women have fought to attain since the 19th Century and now these women want us brought back to the 18th Century? The women who support trump are business owners or wives of wealthy business men and they are supporting trump for all the tax relief trump has promised. They were raised in predominately white neighborhoods and their beliefs are those of their parents. They are unable to make their own decisions. They support him not because they are subconsciously white supremacists. They are well aware of their racist beliefs, the belief that they are better than all others. Many ministers in predominately white areas encouraged their congregations to support trump which to me means their tax exempt status should be taken away immediately and they should be taxed as any business enterprise. I have no time for these women who continue to support trump, particularly in light of his campaign behavior and they still voted for him. I am unable to comprehend the stupidity of these women.

  53. I saw this kind of thing coming when 50 shades of Ugh became a hit; also you can see it in the reactions to Game of Thrones. People want to be ruled; they want to be forced to ‘bend the knee’ to someone better than they are. Trump gives ’em a taste of the whip, and men and women alike ADORE him. He lets women know that they are, in fact, inferiors good only for sex and cooking, and they wet their pants over him.
    Maybe society’s to blame, maybe they got spanked too often as kids, I don’t know. But it’s a kinky sex thing, not actual political thinking.

    • King XIIV wrote, “Trump gives ’em a taste of the whip, and men and women alike ADORE him. ”

      IOW, he is a demagogue and people have yet to learn that following a demagogue only leads to harm and/or death.

      I guess the religious right in the USA learned nothing from The Peoples Temple of the Disciples of Christ, and the events of November 18, 1978 in Guyana, when 918 people died in a mass murder/suicide at its remote settlement, informally called “Jonestown”, as well as the murders of U.S. Congressman Leo Ryan and members of his visiting delegation in nearby Port Kaituma.

      The thirty-ninth anniversary of the murder of my goddaughter, a precious little girl, but her parents, dear friends of mine occurred on that date.

      When are people of the USA going to learn that it is evil to drink the Kool-Aid of demagogues?

    • I wonder if its not as gender-based as all of this. It’s partially simple authoritarianism. They would rather work the patriarchy to their advantage than try to dismantle it. And they think they’re showing strength by not bristling at the degradation. They’re tougher than that. They can hang with the big boys kind of thing. It’s the same with the male Trump supporters. It’s definitely a rejection of the feminine. Just not sure that it’s a result of inherently female self-esteem issues. But who knows. I’m not sure that I’ve ever been so perplexed about anything as I have this whole Trump nightmare.

    • I think I have an answer to this question: The women who love this man, love him because they get their validation from conforming to this system, the same system that produces men like Trump. In each person there lies a moment of decision: do we live our lives for the approval of others, or do we choose to struggle against the predominant system on behalf of our most authentic selves? To me, this literally is a decision about whether to think or not to think. To be or not to be, as it were. To enter the fray for Truth or give in to convention and learn to love it there. Sadly, there are more white women in this place and time who are happy to be sexually aroused by their own oppression than there are women willing to fight for their right to be recognized as fully equal humans. There are plenty of men willing to fight to keep their role at the top of the patriarchy jungle gym, as well. One day, the collective epitaph will be, “the world died as we slept, snug in our trance.”

  54. first of all…the only adoration I offer is to God. I did not vote for Trump in the primaries. I was in favor of another candidate. Trump won the primary and then the election. He is the President. I don’t adore him, but I do respect his policies and his ideas. As far as fidelity and sexual remarks go, I look at some other presidents in History…Clinton, Kennedy, FDR, Jefferson. The American public wasn’t treated to TV and the MSM very much during some of those eras, but we know now what the MSM kept hidden. I don’t count any man a paragon of virtue..only Jesus Christ fits the role. I think that the attempt to bring our country back to some kind of moral stance is something to be thankful for. I think the value of human life is worth fighting for. Abortion is an insult to women and anyone with a smidgen of knowledge of biology would admit that.

    • Jane. I would like to ask you a question. In the area where I live, some of the emigrants from up north refer to the Savior as Jesus H. Christ. It usually happens when they accidentally hit their thumb with a hammer or break a window. If Jesus is his first name and Christ is his last name, what does the middle initial “H” stand for? In my Bible reading, I don’t recall ever seeing a middle name for Jesus. Do you know an Jewish middle names that begin with the letter “H.” Thanks!!!

      • Do you really think he threatened to do that? And do you really think that will happen?

        And how can you compare an imaginary inhalation to intentionally stopping the beating hearts of millions of the unborn in the US alone? How does your perception of Trump make killing babies in the womb more acceptable?

    • What do you think about Trump’s racism? Is that okay with you since you – most likely – will never be affected by it?

      Are you going to excuse his behavior because no human being can hope to measure up to Christ? Does this mean people should just give up and no longer try to be good because there’s no point? Because that’s an incredibly nihilistic view for a Christian.

      Are you okay with teaming up with the antithesis of Christian values because he will score you points on a purely philosophical – not legal or scientific – debate on when life begins? Is that one point worth sacrificing the health and safety of your fellow Americans for?

      • Trump is not a racist, but even if he were, please inform me about how he will negatively affect other races. What are the racist policies he supports?

        • John, while I admire your commitment to the First Amendment, must every single comment Joe Catholic writes be foisted upon us.

          While I am at, it, Joe Catholic, I answered this question for you months ago and you ignored the proof then just as you will most likely ignore it again, even though there is even more, evidence that Dotard Don is racist.

          I won’t waste my time. Google it.

    • Jane Donohue wrote, “I do respect his policies and his ideas.”

      How can you? How, as a woman, can you? First of all, look at his personal history of treatment of women. Secondly, you say you admire his policies and ideas (I don’t think he has them so much as he has ideas which appeal to the most prejudiced voters in the country and if you voted for other candidates, then you are not one of that demographic) when they are so detrimental to women from denying us health care, especially if we have pre-existing conditions and denying us equal pay, and I could go on and on about how harmful the entire GOP is to women.

      • He wants to protect the lives of innocent women waiting to be born. Feminists want them dead if they are inconvenient. You’re living a morally upside down world.

        • thank you for your comments…I believe all those little baby girls that are murdered will one day cause many women to regret the decision. It is forced into their minds by the strong leftists and it is so very sad

    • Jane, how is Trump bringing us back to a moral stance?
      And how do you seriously defend his behavior as every man in power does it? And how does that make it ok? How is the abuse of power ever ok? Why is this not morally wrong?

  55. For many ultra-conservative women, there’s a child-like sense of safety in second-class status. “Take charge” men simplify their lives and keep them from worrying about the things that keep us awake at night, such as job satisfaction, keeping our clients and bosses happy, and making sure enough money is coming in to cover all the bills. Raising a family is certainly a difficult responsibility but at the end of the day there are no complicated personal politics to move through. It’s you, your husband, your children, and God and a clear order of authority. They personify the 1950s Betty Homemaker.

    For other women, they simply lack empathy. They personify the stereotypical right-wing libertarian who views property rights as natural rights. They know Donald Trump is a scumbag. But they know that nothing that Donald Trump does will ever harm them, because they’re upper middle class/wealthy and white. And if Trumpism hurts someone they’ll probably never meet and that means a tax cut, where’s the harm in it? The person who gets hurt is probably “lazy and on welfare.”

    The last group of women are the myopic, single issue voters, i.e. the anti-abortion activists. It doesn’t matter if Donald Trump hates women. It doesn’t matter of Donald Trump will actively make the country a more hostile place for non-white males. So long as he works to curb a medical procedure that, until 1980, the vast majority of non-Catholic Americans had no problem with, they’re fine with him.

  56. I’m with you John. I so appreciate the kind of man you are. I don’t understand either. It’s like a woman who stays in an abusive relationship out of fear of being alone? Maybe these women voted the way they did and champion him for their husbands who are like him? It’s a mystery to me for any woman with heathy self esteem and self worth would cheer him on. It’s like a cult. I lost my best friend of over fifty years to his cult. She adores him and no long speaks to me. I’m still horrified. I doubt I’ll ever get over this loss. Yes, it’s a complete mystery to me…

  57. Who says we worship President Trump , I worship God alone. It just seems like you are obsessed with the man. I don’t even know how you can even get up in the morning knowing that your candidate didn’t win th election. Pesident Trump is an imperfect human being. Please demonstrate where Hillary is a perfect human being. I will not vote for a person who supports abortion and goes against the basic truth of the bible. I am so weary of the name calling by the liberals. Is there a class where liberals are coached into saying the string of words meant to offend people who support President Trump? Truth is the Democratic party has no platform but slandering the Rpublicans. Democrats worry about statues doing harm that have been here for years and years and suddenly it is a threat because their candidate didn’t win. Before the election there was no out cry for immigrants, but when President Trump wants to protect our citizens from the threat of terrorism there is an outrage. Where is the concern for real evil? People ae suffering from the high rates of medical insurance. Where is the concern for people who have no insurance and might be dying because of no medical care? When your insurance rates are more than half of your income then you have a problem. Not all of the poor receive free medical care. Doctors are not always being paid from Medicaid, why is thay OK? Oboma Care failed and you know it. It is a lie that President Trump wants to take away medical care from the poor. He wants something better for them, jobs and affordable rates and for them to have self respect. The truly helpless will continue to receive free medical help and you know it! I hope my grammar passes, I would not want to be banned from the table for incorrect grammar or is it proclaiming the gospel the real offense?

    • Your ignorance of current issues far exceeds any problems you have with grammar, syntax, and punctuation. You and those like you are, quite frankly, hopeless, which is why I and the rest of the American people have resolved to simply “move past you,” like the man in the video clip says:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbgVV2ql5MM

      Other than that, I am moving past you too and ignoring your posts.

    • You might try brushing off your reading comprehension skills and giving the article another go. John, at no point, accused Trump supporters of worshiping Trump – though the blind willingness to excuse any behavior could align itself to the concept of worship.

      No Clinton wasn’t perfect. She was incredibly flawed. But, Trump, by comparison, is a monster in word and deed. He’s a racist and a misogynist and, frankly, a massive attention whore. His narcissism has led to his life being cataloged and recorded back to the 1980s. And, frankly, the picture is very grim if you aren’t too lazy to be objective about it.

      The truth is you know nothing about the political left or liberals. Reading your post is like reading every other post I’ve seen from people whose entire universe is church and Fox News and/or conservative talk radio. You make accusations and end them with “you know it” as if they are factual. They are not. The ACA needs tweaking but the underlying structure is sound. I work in the government sphere and have seen the numbers. I have no idea what makes you think Trump cares about people when nothing he has ever done in the past 50 years has ever proven that. In fact, his own sons embezzled money from their foundation to cover the costs of a golf tournament. Where do you think they learned how to do that?

      You would know what you think is untrue if you actually bothered to step outside your small social bubble.

      To be honest, if some hypothetical Brooklyn hipsters making fun of conservatives made you vote for a racist monster like Donald Trump, that says more about you and your values. And, frankly, pointing out grammatical errors is pretty important. It shows the level of effort and intelligence you’re willing to put toward something. It’s a value my public school teachers instilled in me.

      • It could be that the overpaid teachers in the monopolistic government teachers unions failed that poster. Maybe he or she needed the help of a private school that might have done a better job, but could not be afforded because the government sector workers suck so much of the wealth away from those who produce it.

        • Yes sir, a teacher with a Bachelor’s Degree plus some Graduate credits and 5 years experience earning $40,000 a year two counties over from here is just SO overpaid.

    • Anonymous Again, you apparently slept through the last 8 years, and all the vicious, racist lies and slander your side heaped upon a good and decent man who did nothing to deserve it. We on the left remember all of it, and we refuse to sit down by the campfire and sing “Kumbayah”. It’s called “what goes around, comes around”. And at least we’re directing our ire against someone who richly deserves it.

  58. I can’t figure it out either, and I have been trying like crazy to. I also can’t figure out why so many christians love him. Are people crazy? ???

  59. Dear John Pavlovitz:

    Here’s a thought!

    If wealthy women think their investment portfolios will grow under his economic policies, they’ll love Trump.

    Trump isn’t loved because of identity politics [stands on race, gender, orientation, etc.]. Trump is loved by those aligned with his social and economic class.

    For them, identity issues [religion, nationality, etc.] are necessary and useful diversions from class plunder of working people.

    So far, ‘diversion’ worked fairly well. What do you think, John?

    Blessings!

    • Trump is the natural evolution of unhinged capitalism. Ironically, those who are actually in Trump’s class find Trump a classless bore. It’s doubly reflected in the failed Hollywood people he hired to work at the White House.

      Trump and company enjoy railing on “Hollywood elites” when it’s so painfully obvious they want to be among those elites.

      • Dear Wesley:

        Capitalism is not only unhinged — it’s unhinged because it is hitting the wall. To survive, it must expand. Expansion requires war. After a quarter century of war as standing policy, the working class has no interest in war — and certainly not a new world war which could erupt easily in any number of hot spots.

        This is another way of saying that the ruling class HAS no options. As for the working class — it is imperative that it put forward a working-class program.

        Blessings!

    • Trump is loved ONLY because of identity politics. White conservative Christian male and the women who love them. Is that not identity politics. MAGA has always only meant Make America White Again.

      • Dear Edwin Mix:

        Trump has significant support from some social layers in the 1% section of the ruling class. Without that, he’d have no job.

        Identity politics [race, gender, sexual-orientation, faith, nationality, etc.] do appeal to the most backward, regressive and reactionary elements of society. But they are not Trump’s true base of support. Granting the sincerity of their and Trump’s social bigotries, they are relevant only as they divide and distract the working class from putting forward its own agenda.

        Trump’s ascension exposed to public view the ever present warfare within various layers of the ruling-class. That [usually unseen] ruling class warfare is based NOT on identity politics, but FOREIGN POLICY. That’s why however crass and ‘racist’ the administration no-minds, the engine driving both it AND its inter-ruling class political ‘enemies’ alike is NOT race or other identity issues, but the neck-breaking fast DRIVE to war and WW III!

        That’s ALSO why it is the poor of color/nationality [etc.] that bears the brunt of by partisan, ruling class attacks on education, employment, community services, health care, etc. Not identity politics but CLASS struggle defines this.

        Race is ever a ruling class tactic to divide the working class. Unless the working class is divided by its OWN internal struggle — the 1% and next 9% alliance would collapse. For poor and working people of every race, gender, sexual-orientation, faith, nationality, etc., the way forward is to UNITE AGAINST the unholy 1% and next 9% alliance arrayed against it.

        WORKERS OF THE WORLD — UNITE! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT YOUR CHAINS!

        Blessings!

      • I believe that would then be MAWA, or am I missing something?

        What about the policies regarding immigration, employment, the economy, national defense, protection of life in all stages, etc.? Nobody who voted for Trump thought about any of that? They were just thinking about white guys?

        How do I make an eyeroll?

        You guys can be so obtuse.

  60. Is this really a difficult question to answer? Why did Mark Sanford get re-elected after “hiking the Appalachian Trail?” Or President Clinton, despite his Trumpesque transgressions? People typically ignore what is otherwise unacceptable personal behavior in politicians who vote how they want them too. That isn’t breaking news. Admittedly, merely cheating on your spouse isn’t quite as unpalatable as sexual assault. Ted Kennedy thought so much of women, though, he left one to drown for twelve hours while he scrambled to salvage his career ambitions, and MA sent him back to the senate for four more decades. If vehicular manslaughter and callous indifference isn’t a disqualification for public office, nothing Trump has done is.

    • Bruton, yet Ted Kennedy was worshipped and revered as a “Saint”, when everyone in Washington knows he was a drunk. His brothers were no better. See, Hollywood denigrate women all the time with and through their movies, and they have become very rich at doing it, but liberals overlook it because they’re the ones who have made them rich. If women really were offended by the President using the “P” word, then why has the filthy movie, “Fifty Shades of Grey” been a best seller in both the book and at the movies, with the vast majority of the sales coming from women based on data? This is why people aren’t taken very seriously.

  61. All I have to do is look at his family, wife, daughter, sons, grandchildren to know this man is not what these liberals, media and Trump haters try to make him. The men you put on pedestals growing up just never got caught acting like perverts in the locker room.

  62. I attempted to have a discussion about this with a former co-worker Chump supporter during the campaign. She jumped on me like white on rice, denigrating women so badly that I had to leave the room. I did not know that some women could be so vicious about other women regarding really serious issues. I can only hope this woman has changed her opinion since January 20.

  63. I completely agree with you. I am also befuddled by most anyone who supports good old 45, especially women. He seems to hate us and keeps chipping away at our fundamental rights to autonomy over our bodies and basic life necessities like equal pay, paid maternity leave, and numerous things that keep getting taken or added, like rape insurance! I haven’t found a woman who is a Trump supporter that will have an intelligent conversation about it. The few I have spoken with get very defensive or adopt a “boys will be boys” attitude when I bring up the horrible things he has said about women. The men in my life do not behave like that. Sometimes I just want to shake them and hopefully, activate their “get a clue” molecule. The whole situation is very depressing and it is difficult to keep a positive attitude when he is already campaigning for an election that is three years away. If you do discover the answer, please let me know. Thanks.

  64. Cognitive scientist George Lakoff describes a nurturant family model (such as you grew up in) and a “strict father” model where the world is a dangerous place and the strict father protects the family and teaches his children right from wrong (and obedience) through discipline (and the wife falls in line). Reading Lakoff will help you understand why some women support #45 and why you will never get through to hard core “strict father model” types. Our Indivisible group studies Lakoff to figure out how to reach people who have a bit of both, who we can reach and convert on some issues by framing/re-framing the discussion in ways that will resonate.

    • Susan.
      Conservative leaning Fathers are not the rigid, unreasonable, authoritarians that are being put forth here. In fact, some of the kindest, gentlest, loving men I know are very conservative Christians, and they raise strong, independent, educated daughters.

      While it’s true, two of Trumps wives divorced him, you cannot say any of his wives (Melania included) have the negative qualities that are being put forth here. Ivana Trump & Marla Mapels & First Lady are all very strong minded & modern women, & they all fell in love with The Donald.

      I will say this, most women I know that had rigid, iron rule fathers, became more Liberal with fewer social boundaries as adults, not less. And there are plenty of women that became Conservatives but grew up in a Liberal household. Like me. –My guess is it’s about 50/50.

  65. Wow. Great article, John, and I love the comments. I’m sure your experience may have been different. I was raised in a rural community. My father had three daughters so he was probably a little more sensitive to these issues. However, many weren’t.

    My uncle, who had two sons, preached to his sons to “put women on pedestals”. All the while he sat at the kitchen table and hollered to his wife (who was in another room) to pour him coffee. In the garage, above his prized corvette, hung a life-sized poster of a scantily dressed woman straddling the hood of a car. I will always remember that poster.

    As I grew up, and was a single working mother, I remember how my male colleagues would take customers out to “gentlemen’s clubs” for “entertainment”. Many women in that field went along, so as not to miss he “opportunity” to be part of the group. We were there told that boys will be boys and that it was just something we had to accept. I still see these clubs on my way to my favorite vacation spots. Somehow, the are still allowed to remain open.

    Media consistently presented woman as sex symbols and/or as dependent on a “strong” male character.

    Rape on college campuses is being rebranded as “boys will be boys” and women are taught how to avoid being raped, or even worse, are held partially to blame because of their clothing or the fact that they were even there.

    Little girls hear these things as the develop and unfortunately, the belief that they are here for boys pleasure, that strong men must protect them, and that it is just the way boys/men are, is something that feels familiar to them. Years of training, even bad training, is hard to shake.

    So sadly, although we try to teach our children about gender equality, until we stop allowing society to behave in inconsistent ways, there will still be people who are okay with DJT and that kind of behavior. I remember my reaction when the “grab her by the…” videos came out. I was nauseated. Not only because of my experiences with that kind of behavior, but also because of my experiences of people’s ultimate ACCEPTANCE of that behavior.

      • Sherry. Joe Catholic is our resident…. “whatever.” He claims to desire conversation, but what he really wants to do is stir up large quantities of negative emotion in any way that he can. He seems to feed on it like normal people feed on…well…food. He needs it for sustenance. I would give my eye teeth to get him on your couch and sit nearby in a chair to watch his emotional innards unfurl. I would bet it’s one Hell of a tragic story that led to this “Need to Feed”!!!

        • Charles, I am happy to see you are seeking help with your anger and cruelty issues. I bet you have typed the word fundies even 1,000,000,000,000 more times than Joe has typed the word abortion. Maybe she will help you understand your need to fill these pages with your lengthy screeds telling us all about the important things from how they scratch and pick and eat and talk and walk and think while throwing in some foul language and threats for good measure and oh so always right on message.

    • I was nauseated by that too. I was even more nauseated by the sleazebags who released it in order to kill our candidate at a time when replacing him would have been disastrous.

      But it was 10 years ago. He apologized for it. It was “just talk” and not action. It was not nice talk and I would never talk like that but talk is different than doing and what he said was 10 years before being president. I can forgive and overlook that and put policies first, just as you could forgive Bill Clinton for his skirt chasing WHILE BEING PRESIDENT because of whatever liberal policies you liked.

  66. I read your post last night, and afterwards I (re)read and (re)listened to fellow Christian and former president Jimmy Carter on the abuse of women. His TED talk. His op-ed “Losing my religion for equality”.

    At some point the treatment of women has to become an ethical imperative great enough to leave one’s faith, one’s political party. Great enough to challenge any man (or woman), even the POTUS. That is different than turning one’s back on Christ and on America.

    We are talking about half the world. Our mothers, sisters, wives, daughters, friends.

    It’s bewildering to me why that is not clear.

  67. Thank you, John. After reading your blog piece I read it to my wife. I said Marilyn, I have to know where you stand. If you are for Trump please pack and go. She paused and said you mean that, don’t you? I said you read the blog. Where do you stand. I think she is deplorable. But, she is gone. I think I will be happier now. I think I did the right thing.

  68. -He wants more tax breaks for the very wealthy.
    -He disrespects our allies and admires some of our known enemies.
    -He is a rude.
    -He is a bully.
    -He is a miser and doesn’t hesitate to cheat others if it benefits him.
    -He doesn’t mind wasting tax money on his and his family’s lavish, excessive lifestyle.
    -He does not support public education.
    -He encourages and pardons other bullies.
    -He respects no one except himself.
    I have very little patience with anyone still supporting this president. He is so clearly incompetent and vile. The Christian women supporting him are the most baffling. I don’t see any personality trait or policy that promotes Christian values in this administration. The occasional “lip-service” he gives to the evangelicals is so obviously fake, yet they hang on to it like a dog with a bone.

  69. I think that the best explanation is that it’s a mixture of whiteness (voting to maintain white surpremacy and white power) and tribalism (unreasonable loyalty to the Republican party). Democrats can also fall into tribalism, but in this case, you asked about women who supported Trump.

  70. Really impressive to see a self-described pastor generically insulting, abusing, and demeaning an entire (and vast) cross-section of American women who voted for Donald Trump as operating out of “religious-fueled misogyny” (plus “white supremacy,” brainwashing, and the like) . Way to go, “Pastor” Pavlovitz!

    P. S. By the way, I didn’t vote for Donald Trump. But unlike you, I actually respect those women who took a long look at the presidential race, evaluated the nominees, weighed their pros and cons, and decided to vote for Mr. Trump — even though I opted for someone else. Unlike you, I don’t put all these women into one category, or assume that they all think alike, or credit their decisions to irrationality on their part (e.g. feelings of “blind hatred,” “Stockholm Syndrome,” and the like). Unlike you, I give these women credit for having minds of their own, ones that capable of coming to an independent decision. You should try a little respect sometime, instead of spewing rancid bigotry against a huge cross-section of American women while you’re engaged in peddling your latest book … “pastor.”

    * * * * *

    • Well said, Cliff. Our tick next to a name does not align us with any particular ideology. It simply says that we’ve done our homework and the person we voted for will, with any luck, give us the outcomes that we would prefer. Nothing more. To ascribe to anyone the perceived values of a presidential candidate is ludicrous.

    • I didn’t find this article generically insulting a cross section of women but rather asking a serious question that another cross section of women and men cannot comprehend. I too would like an explanation. I just can’t understand how intelligent women can not be completely repulsed by this man. I have yet to find a woman that can explain it to me. The typical response is I couldn’t stand Hillary. If so much thought has gone into their decision they should be able to explain it.

    • With Pastor Pavlovitz, it’s unfortunately a black and white world. There are no nuances. You are either with us or against us and if you don’t accept the way we see things, then you’re a racist, homophobe, bigot, and misogynist.

  71. John, are you SURE that’s how you were raised? Because I’m finding the assertions you’re making about women who disagree with you pretty offensive.

    I actually know very well one of the women shown in this photo. I can tell you that she is kind, generous, very intelligent, mentally and emotionally healthy, well educated, has a great and respected career, has a healthy relationship, and is quite a strong and independent woman. I am certain that she neither likes nor excuses the bad behaviors that have earned Trump so much negative press. I am just as certain that if she is willing to take the time out of her busy schedule to hold a sign up in support of him, she must have what she feels like are good reasons.

    So why don’t you ask her what they are. And I don’t mean in an insulting article disguised as a question. Go have an actual conversation and actually listen.

    You are a journalist, right?

      • I can mention it to her. I don’t know if she would be interested or not. Like me, she will probably be unconvinced that people have the desire to hear her.

        Here’s the thing. I do not have a problem with people loathing Trump. But what I have a problem with is this notion we have gotten that you can’t be a on the opposite side of the aisle without either being ignorant or hateful. People will claim that’s about Trump and to some degree it is. He has said and done some inexcusable things. But that just makes it easy. I have seen this trend getting stronger for years.

        I believe it stems from an inability or unwillingness to see things from another’s point of view. (When I use “you” below, I’m speaking generically, not addressing a particular person.) After all, assuming you’re a good person who tries hard to do good in the world, if someone looked at things the very same way you do and made the completely opposite decision, they would have to be a monster. So if they’re not a monster, they must be too dumb to understand or not paying any attention at all. Because there’s no way YOU could be wrong, right?

        So, in the case of Trump, I would imagine that his supporters have concluded things like… He has some character flaws, but they are not as bad as they are portrayed to be and not necessarily truly worse than those of his opponent. And… they really like his policies so they are willing to overlook some things to get those policies pushed through… or maybe there are other reasons entirely. Who knows. And yes, of course some people are jerks who have bad motives. But most people hate Trump so much that they cannot accept any moderate opinion about him at all and therefore if you support him you must be hateful or a fool. I find that to be really dangerous thinking.

        There are some truly awful people in America on both sides of the aisle.

        But MOST people in America… at home, at political rallies, at protests in the streets… MOST are really really GOOD people who want good things for this country. And if they are standing in opposite sides from each other, it’s because they have a different perspective about the problems and solutions. But honestly, they usually want to go to the same place. They just have different ideas about how to get there.

        We have got to start finding common ground and working through our differences a little more reasonably if we don’t want this country to tear itself apart.

  72. John:

    I certainly get your concern. I have some thoughts about why Trump is supported by some women.

    First of all, America is a patriarchal society where it appears that heterosexual white Christian men are in control. Note, I said that they appear to be in control. Trump’s campaign focus was to “Make America Great Again.”

    My sense from his policies since January is that he wants to straight white Christian men to be in control again. He’s a narcissist and only men who are like him are worthy of being in control.

    A patriarchal society that is ruled by wounded masculine energy does not value strong women. Hence women who support the direction of the patriarchy is unlikely to vote for a women president.

    Another factor is the attraction of “The Bad Boy.” Good women will be attracted to bad boys, despite how they treat women. Trump is the ultimate bad boy. He treats women with disrespect and some women continue to support him.

    I believe the other factor is some women lack self-confidence and don’t believe that they are worthy of a man who treats them with respect. I certainly relate to that. Up until recently most of the men I dated treated me poorly. It’s only since I have shifted my energy and focussed on my worthiness, my male friends treat me with love, compassion and respect. We teach people how to treat us.

    I pray that the women who support Trump will heal themselves and become aware of their self-worth. The world needs them. In 2009, the Dalai Lama said “The world will be saved by the Western woman.”

  73. To tell the truth, I think women love Donald Trump for the same reason love people like Madonna, Miley Cyrus, Nicki Minaj, Kim Kardashian Paris Hilton, Beyonce’, and Lady Gaga. America loves the dirty and nasty personas that we have in our country be they male or female. All the women I mentioned are notoriously whorish, and the President was during his younger years, yet he still had the number 1 reality show…because we show our dirt.

  74. Voting against something always brings out more people than voting for something. After 20+ years of vilifying Hillary Clinton, it is a wonder she still beat Trump by over 3 million votes. I think there are a lot of people who voted against Hillary and are too embarassed or proud to admit they made a mistake. I would also love to hear from my female friends about why they voted for a Trump,but I think they all u friended me or blocked me so they never see anything I post.

  75. My opinion, based on women I’ve been around throughout my life, is that there are two types of women that would be all about some Donald Trump:
    1) Women who are absolutely attracted to wealth and power no matter what disgusting other characteristics they are attached to. It is superficial, but there are women for whom this is true.
    2) Women who only see themselves as they are seen through the eyes of men. These are women who have been raised with the attitude that being pretty, being pleasing to males, having a boyfriend/fiance/husband, were the most important goals in life, and that other women are competition. Women who were told not to be too smart, too outspoken, too loud, or men wouldn’t like you. Women who believe that complying with all these man-pleasing rules will insulate them from the bad behavior of someone like Trump. “He would never grab MY p****, because I’m the “right” kind of woman.” They believe that women get raped because they did something to deserve it. They think women get treated badly because they’re too fat or ugly or argumentative with men. And they LOATHE women like Hillary because she doesn’t follow any of the rules-to-please-men, and yet has a handsome, charismatic, powerful husband. She reminds them that their rules might be wrong, that they have given themselves up to a system that may not be true…and so they hate HER, and throw their love at a pig like Trump because he reinforces their worldview.

  76. The support by women for Tump is not about morality, doing the right thing, or the teachings of Jesus. It’s about how women interact with power. It’s a matter of projection. Big daddy will provide for them. What did Gloria Steinem say? “People vote for their fathers”. Not their mothers, but their fathers.

  77. I agree, John. My knee-jerk reaction is to assume those Trumpwomen have low self-esteem because they are stupid. And, I want to add in all the Hispanics. Are they identifying as white? How can they vote for a man who identifies them as rapists and murderers?

    Many Americans are embarrassed by that person’s representing America, letting the world associate him with us. I just assume they can tell I’m not that sort of person because I can speak and write good American language.

    You express our beliefs beautifully. Thanks.

  78. I am a women living in the Midwest originally from California. I made my decision based on the politics that were important to me and the actions of those candidates. Although Trump SAID horrible things about women. Hillary actually DID horrible things to women, defending a rapist of a 12 year old girl etc. I disagreed with her politics and didn’t want the policies she promised. I don’t love Trump but I couldn’t stand Hillary and don’t regret My choice. My decisions are all mine, have nothing to do with the men in my life. To excuse my choices with some twisted theory of exposure to misogyny is to not listen to the answer you supposedly elicited. Actually listen to what the other side is saying and we may actually get somewhere. I’m usually the most educated person in the room. When I hear I am misinformed , persuaded , influenced or deplorable it really reinforces my views. Think about that if you don’t want Trump to win again!

    • Lee,

      Hillary Clinton did not volunteer to be the defendants lawyer – she was appointed by a judge. Clinton reluctantly took on the case, which ended with a plea bargain for the defendant. She did not laugh about the case’s outcome. She did laugh at a later date about aspects of the evidence.

      I would imagine many of the people in government including Congressmen and woman are lawyers. Isn’t a lawyers job to defend their clients? I wonder how many have defended guilty people or refused a judge’s request to do so.

      Just because Trump constantly repeats lies does not magically turn them into the truth. Hillary has her flaws but not doing her job is not one of them. Should she have refused to do her job?

      Why use a flawed statement to back up your personal opinion?

      Peace Lee

    • It was her job to defend him. She tried to get out of it and a judge ordered her to defend him. She laughed at the evidence presented because she asked for some things and when she got some of them the “evidence” had been removed. Like the crotch cut off the victims underwear. She was given evidence that was useless. That’s what she laughed at. 🙁 I disliked Hilary too, but I don’t need to make up stuff to dislike her. And no, I do not like Trump. Not one bit.

  79. No “self-hatred,” “subconscious white supremacy,” or “deeply embedded self-loathing” is needed to explain why conservative women support Trump: they like his politics, so they quite naturally are resistant to information that shows he is a nasty personal in general, and a misogynist in particular. So the answer to John’s question should be blindingly obvious, to both men and women, and has NOTHING to do with gender: most conservatives simply do NOT agree with liberals about the character of Donald J. Trump. I, personally, agree with John’s take on Trump. But I am completely boggled that he can’t understand how *other* people could have an opinion different than his (and mine) about who Trump “really is.” Most conservatives simply do NOT believe that Trump is “nasty, predatory, [and] misogynist.” I agree with him that there is ample evidence that Trump is all of these things. But… when you support a politician’s positions, you tend to doubt reports that impugn his character. You tend to downplay all of the negative news that you hear about them. Liberals like myself are not immune to this either: remember all the liberal women who defended Bill Clinton’s womanizing? In general, when people make a choice (in this case, to back a politician,) they tend to downplay and even completely ignore all the evidence that their decision is a BAD one. This is sad, but it’s also COMPLETELY obvious that people tend to do this. *I* sometimes catch myself doing this! Should people do better? Yes, they should. But to be indignant that people are falling into an all-too-common trap, strikes me as disingenuously naive about the nature of human nature.

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  81. I didn’t vote for either Clinton or Trump, but if I’d lived in a tight state and had any responsibility, I would have voted for Trump. I am Republican and Progressivism, funded by people like Soros and its dictatorship made clear in Berkeley’s black-hooded gangs, frightens me, is anathema to everything I believe. Moreover, given the two candidates, Trump seemed more likely to achieve something in the way of innovation. He seemed likely to regulate immigration by enforcing immigration laws that we’ve flaunted for years. Obama’s “diversity,” sexual ambivalence, and open hatred of whites certainly would not have endeared Ms. Clinton to me, for she pledged to continue his policies. Those are sound reasons for voting “against” someone. Hillary Clinton made a deal with the Devil to ride to power on her husband’s coattails because she herself is fundamentally unelectable. I like independent women.

  82. Is anyone as tired of the Jared and Ivanka nepotism show as I am? I guess they are allowed because they are not taking tax payer money except, of course, the Secret Service, the rides on Air Force One, inclusion in Government Meetings with access to World Leaders, office space, etc. etc.
    How many of us, when raising our children, show as much patience as to allow Mr. Kushner, a grown adult, once again, to use the excuse of him not knowing any better? Why does this man still have a Security Clearance?

    What does Mr. Kushner do everyday? We do know he had to REPEATEDLY amend federal disclosure forms to add omitted information. His excuses have been he was so busy, he didn’t think it was that important to be thorough, and on and on and on. Just like his father-in-law we have been asked to give him another chance, another chance, another one and on and on and on. Is he just that dim witted?

    Once my children knew the difference between right and wrong, saying I didn’t mean it, or I thought it was ok was not an accepted excuse. Why are we expected to keep excusing continuous flagrant abuse of norms and rules by so called accomplished adults?

    Trump said he had a great brain – than only he could fix everything – that he had the best people. Everyone of those who rode into the White House in the Trump Clown Car might have thought they knew everything so they didn’t need to ask what was acceptable or what was not. Personally I think that they all feel that laws and rules just do not apply to them. Like I have said before money cannot buy class or a soul.

  83. I wonder if John ever asked why any woman would vote for Bill Clinton. I highly doubt it. The hypocrisy of the left would be stunning if it wasn’t so frequently displayed.

    • Dan wrote, “I wonder if John ever asked why any woman would vote for Bill Clinton. I highly doubt it.”

      The hypocrisy of the right is stunning. The right fails to see the qualitative difference between Bill Clinton’s affairs, mutually consensual although reprehensible, the GOP’s systematic war on women and their basic misogyny.

      While I deplore that Bill cheated on his wife, he has evidently repented and learned to do better because if he were still cheating on her, we would surely know it. Good for them that they worked it out.

      Trump, on the other hand, molested young girls as well as adult women. He has basically said any woman is his for the taking, with or without consent.

      The differences between Bill Clinton and Trump could not be more clear and the only people who keep bringing comparing these apples and oranges are the people who feel about women as Trump does: that we are his prey.

  84. My poor Jesus. I can feel his tears. <3 How can he bear this. How can we? Where are the people who actually walk with him, and where are the people who have morals and a conscience? I understand why we are told not to be part of the world. It is a despicable place. I am ready for Jesus' return or Heaven. Whatever comes first. I can't wait.

  85. Someone mentioned Clinton… I didn’t get that either. No one is saying that was right. But the depths of depravity our current “leader” seems willing to sink to leave Clinton is his proverbial dust. 45’s friendships with people of dubious character while having a deplorable character himself… I don’t get it. I think it’s a lack of relationships with others who are “different” from them. I saw a lot of blonde, well-groomed women in that photo… the unknown is often feared. I grew up in the midwest and was taught racism. I moved away, my horizons expanded and I learned that different is beautiful, not fearful.

  86. Women are constantly told by men and other women that they are wrong, that their efforts are not enough, that they should be different people, to the point where many hardly know what their own thoughts are. It is so pervasive that that it is accepted as normal. It’s the Stockholm Syndrome. No wonder so many women embrace Trump. He feels like family.
    Thanks for your writings.

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