Today, a Trump supporter called me a “beta male.”
I was on social media, expressing my respect for survivors of sexual assault and women who’ve been subjected to the mansplaining of their trauma—and he dropped (based on his commentary following) what he thought was some leg sweep, knockout punch, mic drop, designed to leave me in a quivering mass on the floor.
Apparently I was supposed to be insulted.
I wasn’t it.
I felt complimented.
I felt validated.
I realized I’m on the right track.
“Beta male,” seems to be a MAGA name for a man with decency, self-control, and compassion; someone a woman wouldn’t need to fear being around when alone or vulnerable.
It’s the label they slap on any man who is sickened by the misogyny on display in this Administration, who pushes back against the cultivating of a lowest-common-denominator expression of toxic masculinity, who rejects the idea that dehumanizing a woman and talking about grabbing her by the genitalia, is something decent men do.
Based on my observations, in the minds of these folks, beta males:
are capable of deep empathy for people who are suffering.
yield to a woman’s consent regarding her body and her needs.
are burdened to be sources of gentleness and restraint and kindness.
don’t need to display physical dominance in order to feel validated.
aren’t a physical or emotional danger to women around them.
Sign me up.
With what we’re seeing unfold right now in America, the last thing we need are more men like the former President and the men who emulate him; perpetually insecure man-children who’ve never been able to find a fully formed understanding of what it means to be a gentleman and human being. We don’t need anymore knuckle-dragging cavemen who are terrified of strong women and intimidated by sexuality and orientation that don’t fit their brittle Old Testament sensibilities.
I want my son to be a beta male. I want him to be a safe place for the women around him. I want him to respect their humanity and honor their wishes and see them is equal. I want him to see in his father, someone who is secure enough in who he is, not to need to damage someone else to prove his worth.
I want my daughter to be surrounded by these beta males; men who value her enough to let her decide what happens to her body, who see her as more than a tool for their self-gratification, who are not intimidated by her strength or intellect or accomplishments, who don’t leveraging religion or guilt or fear to coerce women into anything.
If Donald Trump is an alpha male, if Matt Gaetz is an alpha male, if Lindsey Graham is, if Tucker Carlson or Ted Cruz is—count me out. That’s not exactly a mark I’m interested in attaining. I’d rather sleep at night knowing that I’ve left this world more compassionate and loving than I found it.
If being an “alpha male” is what this Administration is cultivating, employing, and perpetuating—I’ll gladly be a beta male.
I think that just means I’m being human.
