Search
Close this search box.

When is Violence an Acceptable Response to Violence?

If you weren’t watching it live you’ve seen it by now. While presenting at the Academy Awards, comedian Chris Rock makes a joke at the expense of actress Jada Pinkett Smith’s shaved head (Smith has been open about the emotional trauma Alopecia has caused her). A few seconds later her husband, actor Will Smith enters the screen walking straight toward Rock who is laughing nervously. As Smith reaches Rock, he slaps him fully across the face and walks away.

The live TV telecast muted and then cut away from the stunning moment, but in a few seconds the entire exchange was all over social media, already being turned into memes and GIFS by the time coverage resumed and Rock attempted to compose himself and  present a much deserved award to Questlove for his beautiful documentary Summer of Soul.

Among the Twitter trends attached to Smith’s assault were the disturbing words Good for Will, with people applauding his actions as some noble gesture of chivalry toward his wife, a deserved moment of comeuppance for the historically abrasive comedian, a victory for the harassed and ridiculed.

“Someone finally standing up to the bullies.” many said.
Others expressed that Rock “deserved it for crossing the line.”
Many described the actor as “defending his wife.”

Seeing so many people justifying an act of physical assault on a TV award show makes me realize how much we’ve lost the plot of humanity, how angry we all are, and how easily we will sanction violence if we feel it validates our own wounds.

I don’t believe Will Smith was “defending his wife” when he struck Chris Rock, I believe he was defending his own fragile masculinity because it was challenged publicly; a masculinity that expressed itself toxically because that’s what we’ve been conditioned to believe “real” men do. We’ve created a world where we decry violence while justifying a violent response.

Those claiming that Rock’s joke was out of line are missing the point. Yes, his words were thoughtless and hurtful and yes, words are a form of violence—but millions of people encounter such abuse every day and they don’t resort to physical retribution because they know that’s not how humanity works, that we are all called to embrace our better selves. If we all slapped someone who did or said something offensive to us or someone we love, the violence around us would be complete and relentless.

We’ve already seen in recent years in America what a movement devoted to aggression looks like. Maybe that’s not the answer. Maybe it’s not the kind of world we want to live in. I’m not sure those attempting to justify Smith are thinking through the kind of world they’re approving of; the slippery slope of explaining away violence as a response to violence.

People with any kind of platform or public position have to contend with rude and belligerent people saying all sorts of horrible things about them and people they love: insults, hurtful comments, harassment. They don’t all respond physically.

Using the word “defense” for Smith’s response implies that his wife was in some physical danger. At best, he was hurt for his wife’s emotional pain and responded with physical violence against the person who said hurtful words. At worst, he lost control of himself because he made the moment about his own self-worth, and resorted to laying his hands on another human being to validate his manhood. He actually took the control of the moment away from his wife.

Jada Pinkett Smith’s well-documented admissions of the trauma of Alopecia have been referenced in the wake of the Oscars exchange (although Rock claims to have had no knowledge of her condition prior to that night). The emotional toll of living with the cruelty of words like Rock’s cannot be overstated and we can’t simply dismiss those words anything less than the form of violence they are.

Still, respectfully weighing all the complexities around a moment like this (the intersectionality of race, gender, disabilities, stereotypes) defending Will Smith is setting a precedent that in practical terms is unsustainable. For a world already afflicted with a toxic masculinity and public confrontations that in recent years have reached the highest levels of our government here in America, we need to stop applauding it. Sooner or later we’re all going to choose a better path. Will Smith has lived much of his life knowing this, advocating for decency and love and kindness.

Chris Rock’s comments about Jada Pinkett Smith are of course, indefensible. The question becomes, what does actual accountability look like? What was Smith accomplishing by returning violence for violence? Jada has yet to comment on everything that transpired on live TV surrounding her. Her voice is the most important here and unfortunately Rock’s words Will Smith’s actions became the story. I’d like to know if she felt defended by her husband or if she’d have preferred he responded another way.

Ultimately, the momentary exchange between three wealthy and powerful celebrities pales to the systemic ills and public health crises and international war crimes we are daily immersed in, but it’s also a microcosm of what’s at stake as we face all of them.

We can show empathy for those who are bullied without literally smacking the bullies. We can respond to emotional violence by doing something other than generating physical violence.
If we really are disgusted by the cruelty in the world, we’ll need to do more than perpetuate it.

If we want something better for our collective humanity, we’re going to have to stop justifying everything that threatens it.

(Note: Both Chris Rock and Will Smith have since publicly apologized to one another.)

Share this: