It’s a real shame that school children aren’t AR-15s.
If school children were AR-15s, Conservatives would treat them with kid gloves.
They’d be ever so careful with their words so as not to cause offense to those who love them. They’d exercise the rarest of restraint to avoid angering them; couching their words in every moment, being the closest thing to decent they ever are. They would suddenly find compassion for them.
If school children were AR-15s, Republican politicians would passionately protect them.
They’d go to bat for them and plead for them and legislate every possible way to make their existence easier. They’d bend every rule of law to ensure their survival in the name of safety. They’d forever lobby for their innocence and extol their virtue and steamroll any efforts to hinder them.
If school children were AR-15s, Evangelical Christians would warmly embrace them.
They’d justify their worth using the Bible, they’d demand respect for them from their pulpits. Celebrity evangelists would leverage their social media platforms and their local congregations to prove how much Jesus approves of them. Migrants would feel loved around the people of Jesus and welcomed in their gatherings if they were handguns.
If school children were AR-15s, FoxNews would never stop celebrating them.
Their endless parade of pundits and would-be experts would come and heap effusive praise upon them; they’d relentlessly attack the brazen celebrities who dared speak out against them, they’d tell those who questioned the harm they were doing—that they were fighting the wrong battles. They would create fake news to convince their faithful.
If school children were AR-15s, they’d be sheltered everywhere MAGAs are.
An army of rabid conservative Twitter warriors would descend to come to their defense, shouting down with great passion any suggestion that they were a danger. They’d advocate for them, flaunt their allegiance to them, adorn their bumpers with their images, and speak their admiration loudly for them.
If school children were AR-15s, they’d be adored by professed patriots.
The flag-wavers would demand they be treated with dignity, they’d protest in the streets that their inalienable rights be honored, they’d remind us all that those who served and died for this country—died for them. They’d gather for rallies and walk with them down city streets and they’d openly profess their love for them. Migrants would be fully welcomed in the MAGA story if they were handguns.
If school children were AR-15s, they’d be shown reverence by pro-life Christians.
They’d be made to feel treasured. They’d be adored by the people of Jesus. They’d never have to be in fear or be marginalized or feel threatened—because those in the highest levels of Church and Government would demand they never did.
Unfortunately, school children are not AR-15s, only flesh and blood, beautiful, sentient, never to be repeated human beings who are seeking rest and peace and safety—and so these things are all still a long way off for them here.
They’ll need to wait to be advocated for by Republican Governors.
They’ll need to wait to be lobbied for by Conservative specials interest groups.
They’ll need to wait to have their worth legislated by pro-lifers.
They’ll need to wait for megachurch pastors to risk losing their congregations over them.
They need to wait for the good ol’ boys and the Bible thumpers to openly support them.
They’ll need to wait to be given the simple dignity and respect that now eludes them.
It’s a real shame school children aren’t AR-15s.
More white Conservative American Christians would probably give a damn about them right now.
