Sometimes after a big meal, it’s good to rest and digest.
I recently concluded an 8-year tenure as Student Pastor, in an amazing, beautiful, loving church community in Charlotte, and over the past few weeks, I’ve found myself reflecting on those 3,013 days; humbled, amazed, grateful.
Along the way, I witnessed thousands of students discover, own, and grow in faith, and experienced hundreds of life-altering retreats, mission trips, and worship services.
I saw the numeric growth and organizational depth of a ministry team of selfless, creative volunteers, led by dedicated, passionate paid staff.
I watched as hundreds of people discovered, honed, and expressed their inherent gifts; becoming great leaders.
I developed relationships with families, and forged deep friendships that have altered me beyond comprehension or explanation.
More importantly, over those 8 years I had a front row seat to a million sacred moments, and most of the time, I had no idea they were happening.
That’s how leadership, parenting, and ministry usually work; you’re constantly focused on the mundane, oblivious to the miraculous in your midst.
You operate so sleep-deprived, so over-scheduled, and so ill-prepared, that you rarely understand the magnitude of the seemingly insignificant tasks always there in front of you, yet is it is those tiny, ordinary present decisions, that all great future things are made of.
There’s the old joke that asks, “How do you eat an elephant?”, with the punchline replying, “One bite at a time.”
Whether you’re a parent caring for a toddler, a pastor overseeing a small group of students, or a manager with a staff of dozens reporting to you… you have an elephant to eat; a massive, imposing, long-term endeavor, that can only be done well in the smallest of steps, with the most miniscule of bites.
A few thoughts as you set the table for your big meal:
1) Intimacy is an investment.
Relationships are everything to a parent, pastor, or leader; the most critical, invaluable asset that we all have, and they are the one thing that simply cannot be rushed.
If I had tried to have, after 5 days with people on staff or on my leadership team, what I eventually had after 3,000 days, I would have failed miserably.
Intimacy is built on both presence and time, and there is no shortcut to it; no fast-track to knowing someone, to building trust with them, and to understanding them.
In light of that truth, every interaction you have with someone, is an investment in Intimacy. Every car ride, Facebook chat, coffee conversation, board meeting, and conference call, provides the space for you to build what cannot be built any other way.
Take no moment lightly.
2) Failure is often just delayed success.
This month after announcing my transition and move, I’ve received all kinds of affirmation, great words of encouragement, and honest expressions of love from the community. Many of those came from students who long ago stopped coming to our ministry; who either faded away slowly, or who left dramatically and defiantly. Some of them got bored, others got angry, and others I simply never heard from.
And with every one of those students who left, the loss felt like failure, but looking back I can see that those were only the tangible results that I could measure, at that time. They didn’t tell the whole story, because the whole story hadn’t been written yet, still hasn’t been today, and won’t be in my lifetime.
In fact most of the “results” we’re looking for as we lead, parent, and pastor, will never be physically measured, because they are immeasurable, spiritual things.
The truth is, many times as a parent, or pastor, or leader, the results won’t match what we’ve invested. Often, it will be all but impossible to make a correlation between what we do, and what someone else does; between our invitation and their response to it. The key, is to remembering that you don’t do what you do for a result, you do it because it is worth doing.
When you make your offering faithfully, consistently, and lovingly, regardless of the evidence in front of you, you have succeeded.
3) Mission is in stone, Method is not.
When I began Day 1 of my time in Charlotte 8 years ago, I thought a had a plan. (I also had my plan changed for me on Day 1… Then again on Day 2… and Day 3…).
In fact, if I had been asked on that first day back in 2005, to draft a 3,000 Day Plan, I would have probably exploded, passed-out, or died of after an episode of emotional eating at a local bakery.
There is a great art to balancing preparation with spontaneity; a special, acquired wisdom, that can help you discern how to plan well and thoroughly, while still knowing when to yield to your circumstances and abandon the good plan, in order to receive greater things.
For the parent, pastor, or leader, that wisdom largely comes from holding extremely tightly why you are doing what you are doing, and holding very loosely how you will do it.
If you stay somewhere for the long haul, you, your community, and the world will all undoubtably experience great changes, but if you stay fanatically devoted to the mission each and every day, looking back, you will be able to see that the heart of your efforts will look very similar to the way it did, the moment you began, even if the delivery method will not.
Ultimately, let this be an encouragement to you; whether you are a parent, a Youth Pastor, or a CEO, faced with more than what you think you can handle right now.
The truth is, you’re right.
Yes, the task ahead of you is too great, and it is all overwhelming, and it is far too much for you.
This elephant is way too large for you to eat today.
Fortunately, all you have to do in this day, is to take a bite.
Whether for you this is Day 1, or Day 586, or Day 8,000, Be encouraged…
… and Buon Appetit!
